misc0nception

"No" means "Yes" means "No"...

2011-12-08T17:52:00.004Z

I don't often think, "Hey, it was a great idea to keep a blog of my kids' progress all these years!", but tonight I quickly flipped back to compare Zack's behaviour at 3 years, and 3 months, to Calvin's behaviour at the moment. Sigh. Right on target is what it is. Everything is "No", and then he wails and wails. Today, on the way home, he (Calvin that is) said to me that he wants to make jelly. I said, 'Great. Let's do it.' He starts wailing, 'No Mommy. No!' So I'm left guessing...
I say, 'Do you want to make jelly? or do you not want to make jelly?'
- more wailing.
I say, 'Do you want Mommy to help you make jelly?'
- more wailing.
I say, 'Okay. We won't make jelly then. We can make something else.'
- the wailing cranks up a notch, with 'No Mommy!' added for good measure.
I say, 'No you do, or no you don't want to make jelly? Or 'No' you don't want to make something else?' It's absolutely exasperating.
- more wailing and 'No Mommy'.
I shout at him, 'Either you want something, like jelly, or you don't want something. Mommy can't tell if you do want jelly or not. Mommy doesn't know what you want! You must stop this now!'
- 'Mommy, you carry me' comes the pleading response.
'Mommy can't carry Calvin, I'm sorry. Calvin is three now and too heavy for Mommy to carry home.'
- more wailing.
You can't win.

We came home. Found some yellow jelly in the fridge and he ate that. Then we found a new packet of orange jelly and made jelly for supper. Problem solved :)

self aware

2011-11-23T09:52:00.002Z

the boys are growing up. Calvin revealed an amazing emotional self awareness two weeks ago as I sat and watched "Lost and Found" on DVD with him. He could actually say that he was sad and looked back on it for a few days, and identified it. Bless him.
Zack has decided that going to school in the grey double-breasted cardi that we bought together is "the business" because the teacher noticed him and said how smart he looked. He's becoming aware of looking good and what nice clothes (aarrghh = fashion) can do. Clothes maketh a man!

themes for the term

2011-10-17T10:46:00.002+01:00

The theme for the term in Year 1 is "Dungeons and Dragons", so we've had a lovely time singing 'Puff the Magic Dragon', and making castles and talking about dragons.
A very dedicated chap, Jim Batty, has put together this website and walking tour (and photo safari) of 'dragons in London'. I seized the opportunity and took the boys into town to see dragons and meet Daddy for a hamburger. It was great fun.

at Bank Station

pleasantly surprised

2011-09-18T20:47:00.003+01:00

The past two weeks have been insanely busy with school starting, a string of visitors and just getting back into a routine (freelance work, counseling, exercise, extra murals for kids, etc).
Keith has gone away for the weekend on a team-building event with work, which has meant the prospect of two solid days of childcare with no respite or support. Fair to say I was dreading it. However, it is a testimony to a growing maturity in both children, that the past two days have been really rather good. We spent yesterday with my cousin in Maidenhead, coming home around 9pm; today was church, a lovely lunch at home and games, tv and fun in the afternoon. We ended the day with baking biscuits and going for pizza. Overall both boys have been model citizens without any tantrums from Zack (astonishing) and mostly good interaction between the two of them.
Not to speak too soon, but by noon tomorrow I will have survived the full 48 hours. Hallelujah! I haven't been committed.

Future Holidays

2011-08-26T15:33:00.003+01:00

Note to self for future holidays :

Do...
-take a nanny/ au pair with you, so that you can have a lie-in every morning you're away
-go somewhere that the children can play outside (eg. seaside, resort with pool, etc)
-go for self catering where possible - it means you can do mealtimes which approximate normality
-go somewhere you're guaranteed of sunshine
-plan ahead and book as far in advance as seems rational

Do NOT...
-go away for one week here and then another week there. Do two weeks in one place - it's more relaxing, it's less travel, it's less hassle, it's less worry, it's less schlepp - I think I've made my point
-choose to sleep in the rubbish bed even if it's the double. The comfortable single bed wins every time - kids can be moved

facial hare

2011-07-23T22:26:00.004+01:00

Keith is using a razor to shave, while the boys are bathing in the bathtub. This conversation ensued...
Keith: So, have you seen someone shaving like this, before ?
Zack: Yes Dad... Shrek !
(no Fiona ?) !

Later on....
Zack: So where are you going tonight Daddy?
Keith: on a date with Mommy
... So one day, you'll have to shave too when you're going on a date with a girl.

happy pics despite it all

2011-07-12T21:46:00.005+01:00

Bungee fun at the Summer Fair

Up and Away

Glorious sunny afternoon in Coldfall Woods

brothers: aged 35 months and 63 months (5 years +)

Here we go again!

2011-07-12T20:22:00.003+01:00

Night three hundred and sixtyfive zillion, eight hundred and tootyfive....
It is now 8:22pm and Calvin & Zack are playing silly-buggers in the bathroom under the pretense of needing to "wee" Mommy. I have been into their room twice already, separated them from one another and into their own beds (bunkbed), as Calvin can't get down by himself - but he can get up! Exhausting.
After a while I just get sick and tired of going up there and yelling at them. Last night it went on until after 9:30pm and they were both sobbing in separate rooms. What does it take to get the message ? I just don't know

Aware

2011-06-28T21:13:00.004+01:00

This morning when we were getting ready to go to school, Calvin said to me "In August it is my birthday." I nearly fainted !! How did he know ? Who told him ? He is a genius !

This evening each boy had a chance to say prayers. Zack was silly about it, and then wailed when I said he'd forfeited his chance. Calvin on the other hand, leapt in with "Thank you for soldiers, marching. Thank you for soldiers at the palace. Thank you for August, my birthday party. etc. etc." Zack rallied, and managed to say "Thank you Jesus for ..." each of his friends by name. Bless their socks.

As I was turning the lights off, the phone rang and it was Keith's mum to say that David has passed away while at home in Plumtree, Zimbabwe. He was all of 68 years old, and feeling old but not unhealthy. It seems he died of a heart attack. They're having difficulty contacting his wife and the neighbours (who have a phone). Zack's immediate response was, "Does that mean they're not coming?"
Meaning, Granny & Grandpa.
"No, I said. They'll still come to visit us in England."
"And what about Tessie?" was the next question.
"Yes, I'm sure we'll see Tessie again soon."
"But dogs aren't allowed on planes."
Good point!, "Well," I said, "we'll have to see her next time we're in South Africa."

Keeping tabs - night 14 of "getting the message"

2011-06-21T20:21:00.001+01:00

Day 14: Tuesday 21st June
taken to bed : twice
time of quiet : 20h21

Last night I gave in and let him sleep in Zack's bedroom, because he kept creeping downstairs to be under Zack's bed. Tonight it was the same routine, so why am I fighting it ? Well, last night Zack woke up twice in the night crying and I don't know how much Calvin had to do with it. Mummy & daddy are just plain tired and want them to shut up

Keeping tabs - night 10 of "getting the message"

2011-06-18T08:54:00.002+01:00

Day 10: Friday 17th June
taken to bed : a million times :(
time of quiet : 21h15

Sheesh! He is SO not getting the message. It's driving me mental!
AND he was up this morning (Sat) at 5:40am - bloody 'ell

Keeping tabs - night 7 of "getting the message"

2011-06-15T13:25:00.002+01:00

last night we put Calvin to bed around 8pm and he was up and down at least 4 times. It ended with a smack and the door to his bedroom being closed. You wonder how long it's going to take to drive this message home ?!

Keeping tabs - night 4 of "getting the message"

2011-06-09T08:33:00.002+01:00

Wed 8th June
babysitting night, but apparently all went according to plan.
Certainly Calvin was out of bed twice before I left at 8:15pm.
Depressingly, he woke up at 1:30am and again at 3:10am so I am a Z.O.M.B.I.E.

Keeping tabs - night 3 of "getting the message"

2011-06-07T22:38:00.000+01:00

Day 3: Tuesday 7 June
taken to bed 2x
time of quiet : 21h00

Keeping tabs - night 2 of "getting the message"

2011-06-06T20:50:00.001+01:00

Day 2: Monday 6 June
taken to bed 3x
time of quiet : 20h53

Keeping tabs - night 1 of "getting the message"

2011-06-05T20:32:00.005+01:00

Calvin is driving me up the spout with not going to bed.

Day 1: Sunday 5 June
taken to bed 4x
+ one more time for wee & poo
time of quiet : 20h40

Regression Session

2011-06-04T15:42:00.003+01:00

Sigh. Calvin is driving us up the wall - new trick is to wee and poo in his trousers. Not sure what's up. He will literally make a wee in the potty and ten minutes later produce an enormous wet pair of trousers (preferably once we've left home). I know it's to be expected but it's exasperating.
That being said, he really is good when he's on the potty / toilet to make use of the opportunity. And he's fastidious about washing his hands - praise the Lord. I have done one thing right :)
We've had family here for the past 2 1/2 weeks which was just blissful as Calvin now wakes up anywhere between 5:30am and 6:45am. We actually got some rest in the mornings which was much needed.
Spent some fun time with Shirley, Maggie, Claire & Caryl as well as Erin & Mario.

Kew Gardens, green house

growing up

2011-05-26T22:54:00.006+01:00

It's been a whirlwind past month with all the bank holidays, royal wedding and now family visiting from S Africa. Calvin has been hit by the early rising sun, and we are all subject to his antics at approx 5:30am which is very, very hard. He is able to climb up Zack's bunk-bed now and wake up his brother (for company), and shout loudly that he has made a "poo". which needs changing. Bless Keith - he mostly gets up and does that.
It means that we're all a bit smashed at the moment. However - next week is half-term and that means we can rest during the day as there are no big commitments.

Keith bought a new clock for him to try and sort things out - a Gro-Clock. It shows a little sun when it's time to wake up. The rest of the time it is a star, which means "sleep time". Calvin is too clever for that - he just pulls the power cable out when it suits him AND tells you the whole story about the sunshine meaning it's time to wake up. Hopefully with repetition and enforcement we may yet get him to sleep until 6:30am.
Zack has a new star chart to get his behavior back on track in the evenings. It's really worked and we've been tough on marking his achievements. He managed 10 stars and went off to the cinema rejoicing last weekend with Keith. The next star chart has hopes of a visit to Legoland. We shall see. Keith has said he needs 100 stars to go, but that seems unattainable to me. Time for negotiation.
Calvin has regressed a little on the potty training - deliberately wee'ing in his trousers during the day. This morning he actually poo'ed in them too which meant he got a stern talking to. Little blighter. He also thinks it's hilarious to say "poo poo", and "poo head", and "poo face" and "willy poo". Dull toilet humour. You can only tell them off SO many times before you recognise that ignoring it is the best way forward. We're trying hard.
Calvin is picking up more and more - his vocabulary is impressive and his understanding of things too. He is still suffering from separation anxiety a lot. His gross motor skills have been 'on vacation' this week as he fell down on tarmac twice in half an hour and has taken the skin off both knees, his elbow and the palm of one hand. It's just horrid and you can't help but feel for him - poor little thing. Thank goodness for Shrek plasters which seem to have done wonders.
Speaking of which - we are besotted with Shrek DVDs at present, and can watch little else.
Calvin has two firm favourite books : the Hungry Caterpillar and a new pop-up book on Noah & the Ark.
Tina has handed in her notice - which is sad for us all. She will leave on 2 July and move to Southampton. Her husband has been offered a job there. I've been quite emotional about it all, and trying to feel motivated about a solution or p.o.a. I'm vascillating between another housekeeper and a cleaner who does some ironing. The child-care issue is never going to go away, so in reality I need to keep that larder well-stocked.
My freelance work has also picked up so there's more going on during my spare time which is a challenge.
My sister-in-law, Tammy, has announced that she's preggie on her blog. I'm still not sure if that means it's common-knowledge or if it's a secret... what is public and what is private ? Not sure. Our boys will have a new cousin early next year, which is exciting. Hurrah!

Keith has just completed a small photo project, taking each of our eyes.
The similarities in the family are striking

One man and his dog....

2011-04-22T19:30:00.007+01:00

Last Saturday we took ourselves off up north to Bromsgrove (just south of Birmingham) to visit Frankie & Agnieszka and their new addition to the family - Jethro - a golden retriever. He is now 5 months old and full of bounce and lick.
The weather was glorious and the local playground was well frequented during Jethro's walks. We also popped into the café for ice cream. It was such a good break - far away from all the responsibilities and to-do lists. The only challenge was getting up at 6:40am most days with Calvin, sigh. But beyond that it was a special time with family.

we went to Cadbury's World on Monday. Sadly Keith missed it as he was back at work

Zack and Aga take on one another on the iPad

Calvin's potty-training continues unabated. He is doing mightily well and altho we have accidents here and there, he is in underpants all day, every day. Praise has worked really well with this little chap, and I regularly catch him saying, "I so clever", to himself. Delightful.
His vocabulary is excellent and he is making himself well understood. He is most definitely a two-year-old with lots of "no's". Strangely we are still getting to know him, as Zack is such a big personality and tends to take over. Having Tina (our housekeeper) away for a month was really a special time of one-to-one with Calvin and I think we both feel that we understand and know him better.
Hammy, the hamster, is still healthy and busy (at night). He has been 'downsized' from Chairman Mao's palace as he managed to chew a hole in the bottom of one of the panels. he is now in a smaller box with a wheel attached and he seems more settled and less intent on escape.

and we're IN

2011-04-05T23:09:00.005+01:00

Calvin has been accepted to attend St James' nursery. That means as of September, Calvin will be going to school with Zack in the mornings. I can collect him each day at noon. Again, I feel like God was in control through all the insanity that was his time in-utero and delivery. He was supposed to be a September baby (end of September), which would have made him the oldest in his year. But God had other plans : he is now going to be the YOUNGEST in his year. The only person younger will be he/she who is born on the 31st of August!
Calvin's language skills are coming along in leaps and bounds - he is sooo good at it now. We spent all of today together and he had so much to say and talk about. It was a real blessing.

at Kenwood House, climbing "by 'self"

He is potty training too - we started last Thursday (which makes him 2 years and 7 months). He is doing brilliantly. We've only had a few hiccups - mostly when we've been out and about and far away from "facilities". Today, we spent more than 5 hours in the car and he did very well both on arrival and departure. Bless him.
He and Zack are still sharing a bedroom. I'm not sure how long it will last as it's really trying our patience at bedtime each night. We may move them back into separate rooms to remedy it.

Five - it's imminent

2011-03-17T23:08:00.003Z

Amar Jai, Tabitha, Zack, Loic & Jayda anticipate lighting of the candles

happy hooligans

Captain Barnacle cake - thank you the Octonauts!

nearly, almost five years old

Well, we took the bull by the horns and invited Zack's entire school class to his 5th birthday party. I wouldn't have done it if young Hector's mum, Frances, hadn't asked me if we could do a joint event. So Hector and Zack decided it was an Octonaut theme which gave us momentum and direction for the day. It was noisy and chaotic but I think the kids had a blast. I went home and into bed by 8:30pm!
It's been quite a week. Tina is away in the Philippines for another 3 weeks, and I'm trying to stay ontop of as much as I can. Today I came off my Vespa trying to deliver it to the garage to have it serviced. Ended up in A&E for a few hours. Thankfully there are no broken parts of me, but I'm in a lot of pain which doesn't make for easy "mummy-ing". The other thing that's been difficult is that Tina's replacement (a friend of hers) is expensive and not as good as her so I'm going to have to have the 'difficult conversation' with her on the weekend where I tell her not to come back next week. Emotionally it's something I find very hard to do, but there you go.
The boys are fine - their usual raucous selves. We have a babysitter standing in for Tina, Kate - a friend's daughter who's doing her A levels - and she has managed to get the boys to sleep in the same bedroom for 2 nights running. It's astounding. Keith and I are well impressed and hope it'll now be easier to pursue. We had tried it last week and ended up at 10pm shouting and screaming after n- times going upstairs and shouting at them to, 'go to sleep' and 'If I have to come up there one more time.....' you know how it goes. [sigh]
They're both thriving. Calvin is talking up a storm and Zack is wrestling with new concepts all the time. Last week it was infinity. He also had a discussion about if we could shoot at heaven.
On Tuesday we went for a play-date to Mendele's house and they discussed "Jesus, the Good Shepherd" on the way home in the car. It was pretty heated I believe, and Mendele said Jesus was no one he'd heard of and that he would kill Jesus. Oh boy! There will be time for these discussions when they're older I hope.
Tomorrow is Red Nose Day in aid of Comic Relief so I hope to capture some fun moments - Zack with crazy hair and Calvin dressed in red or PJs. That's if I'm not in too much pain to pick up the monstrous camera :)

unequal fight

2011-02-20T20:06:00.002Z

Well, here we are well into 2011. I've started planning Zack's 5th birthday party - a joint event with another little boy in his class.
I was feeling quite despondent this evening about food preparation. So much time goes into a healthy and nutritious meal and it feels like 9 times out of 10 it gets discarded with, "I no like it". I feel like the boys live on things like pasta, toast, rice & chicken, fish fingers & oven chips, peas, brocolli, and loads of fruit and yoghurt. Zack eats almost anything except mushrooms (knowingly), but Calvin is awfully fussy which annoys me. He won't eat carrots, Zack will, he won't eat potatoes, Zack will, he doesn't like lasagne (handmade by mommy and it takes at least an hour) and Zack will only eat it if I don't put spinach in it, and so forth, and so forth. It's really wearing.

trivia ? for some

2010-12-02T22:35:00.004Z

Zack is coming on in leaps and bounds with his reading. His teacher is delighted and I think he's feeling really empowered by the whole exercise. It is a wonderful thing to observe.
He struggles with "d" and "b" - transposing them - but I'm sure it'll come with time. The Ruth Miskin literacy programme is working wonders with him, so 'Hurrah for St James!' in promoting it.
Mrs. Piesold, Zack's class teacher, is an incredibly positive and energetic person. She has decided that daily rewards of one star, are not cutting it. She has up'ped it to a maximum of 5 stars a day for good behaviour. Zack is coming home with 4 stars as a rule, which is excellent. Last week we had a friend over to play - Danny. These two don't get on at school, and Zack's first comment when I collect him is often, "Danny only got 2 stars today!" So, there is a lot of competitiveness between them. The play date was a good exercise, but Zack was in tears for the last half hour as Danny didn't want to do what he wanted him to.
In light of that though, Zack had an excellent day last week when he got 5 stars AND won the trophy for Enjoy-a-Ball. As a reward he and I went out for pizza (alone) in Hornsey and he got to choose exactly what he wanted, and to take the bus there and back. It was such a special evening. He must have glowed for about four days afterward. Bless his little socks.
Calvin is putting sentences together. Last Friday (so a week ago), he said very firmly, "We want yoghurt," to which we all laughed. And then on Saturday when he was misbehaving I said to him, "Who wants a shaya (smack, in Zulu) ?", to which he replied, "me!". Keith, Zack and I fell about laughing. He is trying more and more to make himself understood.
He is loving being in the bigger bed, which he calls the "new bed". He shows it to everyone, and will often be the first words off his tongue in the morning...
"Daddy. New bed", he says, pointing.
He is also getting on with the potty training. Tonight was the second time he's made a poo in the potty at bathtime. We all go crazy and praise him, and applaud, so he's getting the message loud and clear.
Nursery is going better and better. He pretends it's really hard to say goodbye, but within in seconds he's stopped crying and having fun with his mates.
It's end of year madness too - so many activities for school. Tomorrow is Cakes for Clothes day, so we were baking most of this afternoon. Tomorrow afternoon is the Christmas Fayre at School. Next week is the Nativity Play, when Zack will be one of the 3 wise men. Part of me wants to point out that there weren't 3, and that the 3 refers to the gifts. Part of me also wants to point out that he's not a "king" (as the school newsletter put it), but a "wise man from the East". Considering it's a Christian School I think it's important to get the facts straight, but hey ho - as Andy always says, "choose your battles Ruth!" I've chosen purple with a gold crown and Zack loves it.

black forest cupcake

2010-11-26T11:58:00.005Z

filmed this on my iPhone and the quality is much better if I email it to you, but here it is for posterity :)

smarty pants

2010-11-17T22:39:00.006Z

Calvin has been taking clever pills at night - he's suddenly burst forth with words and concepts and a desire to communicate. It's too cute. Obviously this is accompanied by more strident measures in the willpower department, but nevertheless it is still a wonder to observe. He is eager to mimmick Zack and this goes as far as silly dance moves and facial expressions. Calvin can carry on with them for days, long after the novelty has worn off for his big brother. However Zack is still very tender with Calvin and is always keen for a big, outstretched arm, hug - where he can hoist Calvin off his feet. This is the sort of relationship I hope they can sustain for years to come.

star chart take 3

2010-11-07T21:35:00.003Z

We're making great use of star charts. They really do work with Zack. At the moment we're taking strides with independent activities - bathing himself, dressing himself, etc. Hurrah! He's growing up and it's so lovely. He's so proud of the fact that he can.
Calvin is growing taller, and looking more like a boy. He seems to be coping better with nursery and sunday school too. He still winds up the "don't leave me" machine, but within moments of my departure he's having a blast. Keith and I are both relieved to see this transition is it's necessary and it's so easy to indulge the 'cute baby' that he is.
You try so hard to be fair in raising them, AND then you're trying to find the individual motivators for each child, the right angle on discipline, how to show them you love them and give them security, and so forth...
Man, parenting is not for the faint-hearted !

wisdom needed : post here

2010-10-22T09:13:00.003+01:00

It was Zack's Parent-Teachers meeting last night. Overall he's come back with great feedback, except for the hitting of classmates. His teacher has put it as "zero tolerance of physical aggression". Obviously he's not alone and there are a few boys that are setting one another off (I saw it happen in the playground yesterday when another little boy was playing with Zack after school, on the slide, and he just hit Zack as they were sliding down. Zack then retaliated).
Keith and I have been talking about this for the past few weeks, as it's been in the headlines. It is so much about the how of dealing with it, and what to do. Zack does thrive on positive reinforcement, so the carrot of praise is ever before us. The real challenge however is the initiate, the beginning, the 'what starts it'? question.
We have drummed it into him that he cannot hit other children, (just like we used to say, "no biting"). We have drummed it into him that if someone hits him, he must tell the teacher. Immediately.
I feel like he's getting mixed messages though. If Calvin hits him here at home, he tells me, and I say "Calvin is very naughty, isn't he?", and then I tell Calvin off. But there really isn't any justice in that is there?
Talking to my counselor, she's said that it's just massive emotional need that exists within children of this age, and they can't tell you what or why. So if Zack is full of emotion and someone hits him, going and telling the teacher seems like an insipid plea for justice in that situation. I really, really need to get my head around this.

Zack says

2010-09-30T13:12:00.003+01:00

"Mommy. I am training Daddy how to make porridge".
(Keith made porridge for him on Tuesday which he didn't like)

"How old is God?"
(on Sunday in church)

one finger, one thumb, keep moving

2010-09-24T22:21:00.004+01:00

What a week! Calvin started settling into nursery on Monday for 1 1/2hours, then 2 1/2 hours on Tues, 3 1/2 hours on Wed and then 6 hours on Thursday and again today. All went well until yesterday and he melted down after his lunchtime nap. I collected him punctually today and he was still pretty upset. However, the care-workers all say that he's fine through the day, and makes mention of "mummy", but is loving the sandpit, blocks, story-time. He hasn't yet eaten a meal there - at best he's a fussy eater. He came home and wolfed down 3 slices of toast and jam, fruit and juice. In time he'll get into eating there.
Zack continues to enjoy school. Today he won a prize for getting 10 points. They have a reward chart for various behavioural commendations. I'm pleased that he succeeded this week.
We had a Parent's "Curriculum" meeting on Wednesday. I felt like a child again. Altho' I was on time, I had a toddler in tow and was relegated to the back of the class as the créche didn't materialise :(
I had to keep opening and closing the door for late comers :(
Tina finally turned up and took Calvin outside to play so I could concentrate :)
I am overwhelmed by the list of dates and activities for my ONE CHILD. I commented to a friend afterwards who is a mum of 4, that with them all at school she is going to struggle to cope. She didn't think so. Whew! That's why I only have 2! There is no way I could cope and still 'be me'.
The teacher commented in passing that the class was a really wonderful group of kids, and that there were quite a few BIG personalities. And I nodded knowingly. ha ha. They are really lucky to have so many great children in one class. We shall wait and see how things pan out in the future as there are sure to be personality clashes with just 28 kids in a year, for the next 5 years.

Big School

2010-09-18T22:21:00.010+01:00

Starting School
Zack is now at "big school" at the refreshing age of 4 1/2. He was very nonchalant on day one. His teacher is Mrs Piésold. There is a teaching assistant each day - I'm still getting to know all the names. Zack's class has around 30 children and they've started school in phases : the first group [10 children who have older siblings at St James] started on 2nd of Sept, then Zack's group [another 10] and finally the last ten children this week. They now have a full compliment and I'm sure the teacher's hands are full. Weirdly there are 3 boys called Zack in his reception : Zach D, Zac W and our Zack G. Who'd have thought ?

We had our first "can I talk to you for a minute please" moment with Mrs Piésold : Zack is being too "physical" in class - patting other children on the head, hugging them, etc. That's nothing new - he's behaved like that in Enjoy-a-Ball class too. I need to just remind him gently and regularly that it isn't appropriate. It is so hard isn't it ? He is friendly and affectionate by nature, which I think is wonderful. So many people are "emotionally withholding" and do not give away their love and kindness. I have close family and friends like that. I think it's a disfunction but society doesn't discriminate. Zack is going to have to learn the when and where of it all.
School is so much about the lowest, common denominator; being invisible - having the same lunch box, the same clothes, the same toys as your mates. The other side of the coin is fitting in or acceptance. So far he's coping well - he's making friends, seems an eager participant in class, tells me he's "done nothing" at school today. ha ha. Already ?!?

School mummies
My friend Fi gave me some good advice about school mummies... the best thing to do is to find a mum whose kids are older, and have been through it all. That way you avoid the insecure, the critical, the competitive, the doff, the klingons, and the wannabees. It's a tough one isn't it ? I'm having some difficulty deciding whether to post here or not. The truth is that all of us are going to go through this - especially if we are mummies who aren't at work full time. We're faced with the prospect of interacting with other mums for some time yet.
It's struck me that it's pretty short term. It's really only the first few years that we're "at the gate". Soon enough we'll be picking them up and dropping them off from a distance - it'll be surreptitious kisses goodbye and all that. So it's just this short time that I'm connecting with other parents on a twice-daily basis. I am holding back - it's my coping mechanism : wait and see who's who in the zoo. A trio of mummies have nominated themselves as class reps and are doing the contact list thing. [whew] I'm pleased someone else has done that. I'm told there will be socials, fund-raisers, etc. It all lies ahead !
Of course, there's a natural selection process - we gravitate to the people that are "like us" or that we perceive to be "like us". In my case, by week two I'm spending time with a Capetonian who keeps the same times as us. Safe, familiar and easy to talk to.
So... do you think I'm getting through this okay ?

my 2nd 2nd

2010-09-10T20:00:00.000+01:00

Calvin's 2nd birthday followed soon after our return from holiday. Being a bank holiday (long weekend), we had the family over for lunch – Caryl & Claire, and we had a small candle-blowing ceremony too. Calvin just loved it, wanting to re-light and blow out the candles again and again. Too cute.
We decided to get him the same gift we gave Zack for his 2nd birthday – a scooter. He likes being pushed on it, but hasn't yet had the opportunity to practice much.

His little friend Mark, also celebrated his 2nd birthday (they are 3 days apart in age), and spent a fun afternoon there. Zack was also invited and was quite well behaved. As expected, there was a lot of cake consumed.

Zack is now into underpants at night - no more nappies. He is doing really well. We have had a few accidents, but overall he is dry throughout. I am very proud of him as many children struggle with this 'final' tranch of potty-training. I DO think that anxiety affects his ability to stay dry – ie. when he's worried about something (like starting school). I suppose it's the sub-concious manifesting itself.

developments

2010-09-09T23:41:00.004+01:00

The brothers at the pinball machine

Whew! what a crazy time it's been. We went off on holiday to Carvoeira in Portugal (near Faro) and Zack and Calvin had a blast. We were staying in a little holiday cottage spot that had a pool and a pool and an indoor pool. We swam all day, every day. The sun shone all day, every day. Zack's swimming has come on in leaps and bounds – he even leapt into the deep end without me one day (I nearly had a heart attack, and was screaming, "Nooooo!" while running and kicking off my shoes), and paddled to the side nonchalantly. Without wings!
Calvin started out really cautious of the water, as everything was "wet". But he was soon confident enough to climb down into the baby's paddling pool and wander into the middle by himself. We had two or three falling down and not being able to stand up, so Mummy grabbed me out of the water immediately, moments. But they were all done under close supervision. May I just say that mothers have completely over-active imaginations, and we always expect the worst – it gives us the edge I think.

Elly jumps over Zack

Zack made friends with a lovely little lass from Worcestershire, whose name was Elly. They spent all their time together and we were so sad to say goodbye on our last morning.

Our only day on the beach was extraordinarily hot. For some reason Zack decided the best thing to do was to go down on hands and knees and rub your face in the sand. Yuck !

In the last two days of our holiday Calvin decided that he was potty training and has completely caught onto wee'ing in the toilet. He is a genius ! And might I point out that he wasn't even two years old yet. Amazing! It really is so much easier with the second child – he just emulates his brother.

Annoyingly we got home to an ear-infection for Zack – or perhaps I should say, predictably ? So he's been on Amoxycilin for 10 days. Seems to have done the job.
What was possibly worse was that Tina, our housekeeper, was off sick for another two days and the ironing was mounting up and things were getting out of control. Not only that but our temporary Nanny who would have really taken off some of the pressure, was also off unexpectedly for a day. I returned to some enormous work pressure and deadlines, so I admit to feeling quite strung-out within days of returning. You always want the "holiday vibe" to linger, don't you ?!

nursery to primary

2010-08-18T00:08:00.003+01:00

Zack had his "Goodbye" Party at nursery today, altho' his last official day is only on Friday this week. There is so much excitement about going to Primary school - each child was telling me where they were going and if they had a uniform or not. Zack wore his new school shoes that we bought this morning (sorry, no photos there), and was eager to wear his uniform until it was time to go and then it was "batman mommy". Ah well, there'll be lots of time to wear a uniform and fewer occasions to be a superhero!

Charlie & Lola cups used for party tricks

"it doesn't work any more. I want a new one!"

car

2010-08-12T23:08:00.004+01:00

Calvin's favourite word is still "car". Zack gets annoyed now and shouts, "train. train. train.", when Calvin means train. Sigh. You get used to it tho'.
This evening while Zack was bathing, I sat with Calvin while he played with the garage and his cars. The light was beautiful, so I got quite a few lovely shots. Here are just two.

payback time

2010-08-03T16:23:00.001+01:00

Mrs Sweby at Montessori Nursery, N10 sent me my deposit back by cheque today. Will attempt to deposit it.

drunk and disorderly

2010-08-01T23:04:00.003+01:00

So it all came to a head last week Monday. After four sessions of "settling in" at a North London Montessori nursery nearby, I took Calvin to his first day. Dropped him off at 1:30pm and when I turned up to collect him at 4:55pm there was this strange old crone sitting in the kid's play room. She looked awful, gaunt and sallow. She had grey blotches under her eyes and across her nose. I really wasn't sure who she was or why she had all the staff sitting in a circle around her. Her skirt was hoiked up, and her legs akimbo. A part of me was already scrambling through the ID parade... she was probably the owner. Then she spoke and I was right, it was the owner who'd I'd only spoken to on the phone. She was going on and on about ofsted and the parents, and how she couldn't do enough for them. I said, "Excuse me?" but I couldn't understand what she was saying. I was looking around the room, from face to face, at each member of staff. All I got was blank stares or averted eyes.
In the meantime Calvin had seen me, stood up and was walking towards me. His face said scared and unhappy. I grabbed him and slung him onto my hip. By now I'd caught one of the girls (who I'd chatted to the previous week) rolling her eyes. Yup, I could smell the booze at 2metres. So I guessed A + B = blotto.

The end of it all : I've pulled Calvin out of the nursery. He's going to go to Zack's full-day nursery from mid-September.

No point in being stupid about this. Two weeks ago my gut feel was "there is something weird here with the staff". Yes, the peer pressure amongst fellow North London mummies was that Calvin should only attend a half-day session BUT I cannot have my child in THAT nursery. Zack's little nursery - Greygates - is just lovely. The staff turnover is neglible and they are genuinely affectionate, well trained, career child-carers. I don't have a qualm about sending him there other than the long hours. I was only trying to be "open minded" by going for the Montessori. It failed. There you go. Now we're onto plan B, which really should have been plan A.

closer to being me

2010-07-21T11:25:00.004+01:00

I took Calvin to nursery this morning for his 4th and final session of "settling in". It meant 1/2 an hour of being with him, and then 1/2 an hour of being there without me. When I kissed him goodbye and left, he was terribly upset, but in 5 minutes time I'll go back and see that he's OK. I'm sure it'll take a bit of time because he can be very clingy when he wants to be. The steady process of becoming more independent continues - for both mum and child.
Mum on the other hand cannot wait !

Empty Apologies

2010-07-06T15:47:00.003+01:00

Today I decided to sit out of Zack's ball class so that I could read my book. Afterward we came skipping out of class and were fooling around on the steps outside when one of the mums called to me and said, "Your son hit my son....", so I called Zack over to apologize. His first reaction was, "... but Mom, he hit me first", and when the other mother denied it, he said, "But he did! I saw him."
I find these sorts of conversations frustrating. Zack apologized and hugged the other boy. I then paused, waiting for the other mother to reciprocate. She didn't. Her son just did the sulky quiet thing and rubbed his eye.
I don't think Zack was lying. I do think that the other mother possibly heard her son cry or wail, but I can't say that she saw Zack actually hit her son OR for that matter, her son hitting Zack in the first place. So who's in the wrong? Is Zack a bully or just a normal boisterous boy? Is her son a manipulative little git or a cry-baby, or was he genuinely injured during a tousle over a ball?
Zack is very gracious for apologizing, even if it is difficult in the moment. It doesn't cost alot to apologize and it's a good skill for later on.

worse before it's better

2010-07-04T23:21:00.003+01:00

nasty nasty nasty

at least we can get some joy out of a bowl of raisins!

and we pass it on

2010-07-01T16:47:00.002+01:00

Early days in Calvin's bout of chicken pox. It worsened considerably and we were only getting sleep between 4am and 7:30am at one point. Thankfully I think we've turned the corner. Sigh. exhausting

bloomin 'eck

2010-06-22T09:01:00.004+01:00

So we go off on holiday with granny and grandpa. It's stressful. We travel to Berlin first. On the evening of our first day, Zack has a few small bumps on him. It's been extremely hot so it could be heat rash. Nope, the next morning we know for sure - it's chickenpox.

bank hols in berkies

2010-06-02T12:04:00.004+01:00

Zack went off to the doctor on Monday and then again on Friday last week - ear infection. He's on amoxycilin. It meant the first night of our holiday (Fri) was a no sleep night and we had to take it in turns to comfort him. Thankfully by the second night we had a solid night's rest. Now Calvin is taking his turn to cry - he's been chewing his fingers for the past few days, so perhaps he's teething. He certainly has the icky bum to go with it, but no temp. Sigh. Kids. I'm tired.

Calvin is happiest on the slide

those jolly rides in shopping malls - there's no escaping them [sigh]

what can I say ?

Brothers take a walk

no sleep

2010-05-14T11:39:00.003+01:00

Mummy and Daddy are zombies at the moment - Calvin is waking up twice and even three times a night to have a wail. Mostly I get up, but I'm getting to the point where he can just cry if I've been up twice before. I feel bad for the neighbours, but I need a bit of pity too. Poor Keith is also feeling haggard with the sleepless nights (and he's suffering from insomnia) and all the stresses and strains at work. His plate is pretty full right now.
I'm really not sure what's causing the wakefulness, but all the boxes are ticked - clean nappy, not thirsty, dummy nearby, warm, quiet. Either he's lonely or he's bored. We are going to move his cot into Zack's room so that we solve the former, but the latter is something that will have to find it's own way out because neither Keith nor I are entertainers at 1am, 4am or 5:30am. No way!
Zack and Calvin went off to Little Dinosaurs yesterday, and when I got home I heard that Zack had bitten a two-year-old. Sheesh! How long has it been since he last bit a child ? Ages and ages. He had rushed upstairs when I was talking to Tina about it, and I found him hiding underneath his bed. I went up and sat on the floor and encouraged him to come out. He was obviously afraid of what I was going to say, and apologized immediately. Now that he's older, it's easier to ask, 'Why?'. The other child was hitting him in the face. I reminded him that he needs to talk to an adult. Biting is not an option.
Calvin, Zack and I went off to the shoe shop on Tuesday and got new shoes for both of them. It is remarkable how quickly children's feet grow. Zack is now an 11, so needed to say farewell to his Gola's. I replaced them with a pair of funky white Sketchers. Calvin got his first pair of walking shoes - little navy-blue, leather ones. He seems happy in them, altho' he is reverting to crawling every now and then which is understandable.
I took Calvin to the physio on Monday morning at 9am for an assessment. Considering he'd been walking for nearly a week, I felt that my fears had been allayed and I really didn't need to be there. As it turns out she was happy to see us, but confirmed just that - he is doing well developmentally and doesn't have any issues of concern. That little outward turning foot of his will soon be straighter with the shoes and constant walking.

he walks

2010-05-03T23:32:00.004+01:00

Calvin has FINALLY decided to walk by himself. Yesterday while at a shopping mall in Derby he walked for quite a distance with Keith (just keeping him company, not holding his hands). It is delightful - he holds both arms out in front of him like a zombie or Frankenstein, and giggles as he goes. I'll try and post a video of it soon.

spring

2010-04-18T20:46:00.006+01:00

April hath put a spirit of youth in everything. ~William Shakespeare

This week has been most springy. You gotta know how bad the winter's been if spring is getting an entire blog mention here. We have been on the trampoline twice most days, have weeded the lawn extensively (tho' it still requires more), and Keith and Zack have planted white pansies and new rosemary bushes. Zack was given some vegetable seeds to sow. They are now in their own little "greenhouse" box, germinating. Kids are so impatient. He went and looked this morning only to see that nothing had changed.
Keith helped Zack cycle around the block at lunchtime. I then invited him to cycle with me, all downhill, to a friend's house. He was eager for the first 100 metres. Then it was whining and moaning. Between Keith pushing the pram AND Zack's bike, and my pushing both my bike AND Zacks' we got it there. Unfortunately that meant we had to repeat the exercise coming home. Bike confidence is a slow process I fear. I am trying inordinately hard to not repeat the impatience of my father, and to be as empathetic as possible.

Calvin's first real word

2010-04-14T08:00:00.003+01:00

He said it on the weekend and I thought it was just fluke, but this morning when I picked him up, I said, "Let's have some breakfast Calvin". And he looked at me, so I said, "lunch", and he said to me, "lunch". So there it is - Calvin's first word, other than "mummy, daddy, and nanny", is "lunch". I think he might also be on the verge of "'nana" (as in 'banana'), but we'll see.
My child is a genius !

Easter and the dregs of the birthday

2010-04-13T23:56:00.007+01:00

Calvin's first conscious Easter, and Zack's first genuine Easter Egg hunt. By Sunday afternoon, Zack said to me, "Mommy I don't want any more chocolate". So allowing him to indulge had the desired effect... I'm getting clever - reverse psychology does work you see.

The sheer delight of discovery

the motherload

devouring the booty

We decided to spend Easter Monday at a National Trust property offering Easter Egg trails for kids. It was a hit, and tired them out with all the hunting for eggs, stamps and signs. We finished the afternoon with lunch at the Smith & Western in Boxhill. Kids were knackered and we'd had some quality time with Jax, Claudio and Alessio.

Easter Monday with Alessio at Polsden Lacey (National Trust Prop)

Zack gets the 'Easter Bunny' treatment at Polsden Lacey

Cat in the Hat ? - that's what this face reminds me of.

Last weekend was Anokye's 4th birthday party, and all four of the NCT girls were in the same place at the same time. Amazing. It was a wonderful sunny day and we spent most of it in the garden with the kids jumping on the bouncy castle. Keith and Calvin had some quality time together too, and they took the camera, so I don't have any pics of Anokye's party. Oh dear.

Calvin and Keith hit the playground together

Spiderman birthday party with fab masks from Walmart - what a winner!

The Willars sisters in trendy superhero outfits - Buzz Lightyear and retro Thunderbirds.

A delighted, exhausted, happy, very hot & sweaty birthday boy.

Hours of baking and icing amounted to a single layer, chocolate, Spiderman mask cake

Now we are Four

2010-03-27T22:43:00.003Z

The much anticipated purchase of the bicycle for Zack's 4th birthday is now a moment in our collective memories. He loves it and even went so far as to ride it in the dining room, lounge and on the deck outside. He is yearning for better weather so that he can get out on it. I don't think the "stabilisers" are going to be around for very long...

Zack is 4

2010-03-26T12:48:00.002Z

Four is a very big deal when you're little. It means so many things. I think Zack anticipated an enormous change when he got to his fourth birthday, and now it's alot of waiting for it to happen. He still has six months until school starts.
His birthday was marked with present opening, eating porridge for breakfast (his favourite), playing with his friends, assembling his new toys (Lego), and making play-dough creatures. All in all it was a great day, and he was exhausted by bed time.
Today (Friday), he's took cupcakes to nursery school, AND it's his chance at show-and-tell. He couldn't contain himself, so took his Vuvuzela, two light-sabers, blue blanket, and Buzz Lightyear doll with him. It's very hard to choose just one thing to talk about.

twilight zone

2010-03-18T00:17:00.005Z

I flew out to Ohio last week Thursday, with two boys in tow, to visit Keith's aunt and uncle - Joy & Mike. The flight out was horrendous. I arrived at Heathrow at 09h35 (three hours before the flight was due to depart). It took them 2 hours to issue Calvin's boarding pass as he was travelling as an "infant on lap". Apparently the system couldn't sort it out. Idiots at Continental/United Airlines have NO idea about frustration. What am I supposed to do with two children who are being forced to stand still in a ticket hall for two hours? My blood was boiling. Calvin and Zack then took it in turns to press all mommy's buttons until we got to Cleveland. I was extremely grateful for the air-stewardess on our final leg: the only helpful individual we'd met in 12 hours!
The kids had such a good time, and thoroughly enjoyed all the attention. Zack went to sleep as soon as we got there, but Calvin was wide awake and firing on all cylinders. It meant that everyone got to meet the little brother, without all the sibling rivalry that goes on during daylight hours. It was great fun and he did his little walking steps from one person to another too - what a performer! Joy and Mike were both working, so during the day we'd go to the Mall (it was bitterly cold outside), or down to a playground nearby.

Zack working his way up

The fun of sliding

Saying "Goodbye" to Joy on Tuesday morning

Calvin and James share an IKEA moment

Uncle Mike helps Calvin eat every last pea in the pot

I was feeling incredibly rough (tired, ratty and sick) when we got there, but thanks to the family I slept for a good 9 hours on the first night. I was diagnosed with 'pink eye' while I was there, so it was good to get some meds, and shake that infection (I'd been struggling to get rid of it at home). Keith arrived on Friday night, and we were able to sleep in on both Sat and Sun mornings. What a wonderful feeling! Mike doesn't sleep well, and the boys had jet-lag, so it was a win-win situation.
Zack, Calvin and I went out for hamburgers on Monday afternoon which Zack thought was a treat. He can be incredibly slow at eating - too busy watching everything else that's going on around us. He loved the ceremony of it all too, and I sent him off to the 'soda machine' to refill his own cup.
It is Zack's 4th birthday in 10 day's time and we are planning a Spiderman theme. Walmart is a wonderland of goodies, so I picked up a ton of stuff for the party. Thank goodness for huge weight allowances on US flights.
Tuesday evening was the flight home. We had a relatively uneventful trip home - no delays, no crises, no [enormous] tantrums, and a quick connection at Newark too. Zack wet his trousers sleeping, but I'd prepared for that eventuality and packed clean bottoms, and socks. Funnily enough he did comment that, "people will laugh at me with no trousers on" (I had to change him once all the other passengers had disembarked), but I reassured him that no-one could see. Funny the little things that they are concerned about all of sudden.

Race:
Zack is suddenly aware of race/ethnicity. We were in a supermarket today, and he said to me, 'That man is the same colour as Ethan and Chloe'. To which I replied, 'Yes, that's right. Anokye's daddy is also that colour.' I think he's identified the colour as 'brown'.
Then, just to throw a spanner in the works, I said to him, "So Zack, what colour do you think you are ?' I proffered some suggestions : purple, green, blue pointing at my skin. In the end he said, "I don't know Mom." So I suggested he think about it and we can talk about it again. Devils' advocate!

cat's away

2010-03-09T09:38:00.002Z

Sigh... why is that the minute Keith heads off on business, the kids 'habits' degenerate ? Sleeping is the first one to go. Last night Zack was not in a hurry to go to sleep, and then woke up this morning at 5:25am having had a bad dream (he tells me that I had gone far away), and wee'd in his bed. Having calmed him, changed his pyjamas and putting a towel down on the wet patch, he then told me that he wanted to play. I was firm and said, NO. It's still night time and you must sleep. He didn't tho'. He'd woken Calvin up who was now chattering in his cot. I decided a firm line was the best, so I just went upstairs and went back to bed. Zack came up and joined me on and off, and finally went downstairs. And here's the reason for today's post - Zack put on the tv and the DVD player by himself and watched Stuart Little. I am delighted. I was able to sleep until 8:30 when Calvin woke up again. Not feeling quite as shattered as I might have.
Annoyingly I have a nasty eye infection which isn't clearing, so I'm trying to sort that out too.

totter

2010-03-02T11:48:00.004Z

Calvin is now tottering along with confidence on Zack's old "push along" musical wagon thingy. He loves watching himself in the mirror and glances backwards to make sure Mummy is seeing it too. Too cute!
Yesterday morning he was playing on the carpet in our bedroom, while I was showering. He discovered a sun-beam and scampered around trying to catch it. Every time he had his back to it, it disappeared, then he'd quickly circle around so that he could see it on the carpet again.
He has a couple of new words too : Amen, and Nanny (for Tina).
This morning we were singing "Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, We're going to the moon." and he quickly started counting with his little pointer finger in the palm of the other hand, and then putting his arms in the sky at "blast off". Just so delightful to see the developmental stages.

a REAL holiday

2010-02-22T22:57:00.002Z

We've been discussing, at some length, with friends how you go about having a real break when you have such little children. As we don't have grandparents around, and our attempts in 2009 failed dismally, we just want a solution. As such, I've started investigating via the net. here's what I've come up with in the UK for family holidays :

http://www.babyfriendlyboltholes.co.uk
http://www.mrandmrssmith.com/ - they have a children section
http://www.cottageselection.co.uk - "take the family" section
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/travel/holiday_type/family/article2133315.ece
http://www.childfriendly.co.uk/
http://www.bedruthan.com/hotel/

http://www.tredethick.co.uk

feeding the little ones

2010-02-22T22:14:00.001Z

http://www.wulffmorgenthaler.com

drive far for what's around the corner

2010-02-18T08:23:00.005Z

It's halfterm at the moment, so I thought it would be nice to go and do something different. I picked up Tina and we drove up to Milton Keynes (about an hour away), to a huge indoor play area. They're sneaky - we were aiming for a place called 360Play, but ended up at KidsPlay because it's the first place you see as you come off the highway. Anyway, that's business I suppose. We had a blast and Zack was absolutely pooped after 4 hours. We had a pee-accident too which added to the adventure, so I spent 1/2 an hour in the ladies loo drying Zack's jeans, sock and underpants.
Going there has convinced me that we need to do this more often - perhaps even weekly. There are two of these places within reach of N10 (our postal code). The kids had so much fun that it seems silly to save it for a rainy day.

primary school application

2010-02-15T12:00:00.001Z

Got a letter from the council today to say that our choices of Primary School for Zack (starting 2 Sept) have been noted. We will find out in May which one he's been accepted to.

the weather ?

2010-02-03T12:52:00.004Z

Both boys have taken turns being ill. In fact, Keith was off 2 days last week too. Zack was vomiting on Friday night - on carpeted stairs, which is no joke. He'd an upset tummy on the weekend too. Calvin vomited in the wee-hours of Tuesday morning, so I cleaned that up and put him back to bed. Then I couldn't get back to sleep, so got up and put together 200 photographs of him for his Dedication Service on Sunday. I want to have a photo album of his life for people to see. Finally went back to sleep just before 7am. Keith had to sort out Calvin vomiting again after that. Today he's got an upset tummy and had a bit of a temperature when he woke up - not the happiest little chap. Tina has also got something nasty, so stayed home today (which is highly unusual for her). Thank the Lord I am mostly OK. Now I just need to stay like this until Sunday evening when the party is over.

Zack and Alessio put the nachos bowls on their heads.
Makes a fun yarmulke – Jackie commented how Jewish Zack looked. LOL

negotiating

2010-01-23T12:56:00.003Z

It is frustrating in the extreme, the amount of negotiating that goes on with a three/four year old. I can see why it's necessary, as the alternative is smacking or sending him to his room/timeout. However... the time and patience and effort required (of two exhausted parents) is enough to drive me into the wilderness screaming, never to return. I feel like Zack "gets it" some of the time, so you can appeal to his rationality, but other times you're offering a number of alternatives, a number of carrots and sticks, consequences are carefully weighed up, end results are presented as clearly as possible. And yet, you're still getting the whinging, whining three year old who is just being contrarian for the sake of it. After 45 minutes of ruining everyone's day...
Yup, then it's time for a smack

glue

2010-01-19T10:53:00.002Z

Forgotten what it's like to have a toddler suffering from "separation anxiety"?? I have. and it's killing me. Calvin WILL NOT let me out of his sight. He sobs hysterically if I go upstairs to get dressed, or fetch a postage stamp (what I'm doing now - and blogging in frustration). If I put him down to walk a meter to pick something up he starts simpering or wailing. It's driving me up the bloody wall.

.... he wee-wee's like a waterfall

2010-01-17T18:21:00.002Z

Don't know what's up with Zack, but he has just omitted bladder control from his functioning mind in the last 2 days. We've had nights where Keith's up at 12:30am with a soaked bed, 4am with another soaked bed. Then today I'm at the playground with himself, and he pee'd himself "nat" only minutes after I'd asked him if he wanted to go to the loo. Bloomin' 'eck ! What's a parent to do ? I think we're going back into night time nappies until we have some sanity. The washing machine cannot cope with much more, and we are out of bed linen that's clean and dry.

Family holiday - Johannesburg

2010-01-15T21:35:00.004Z

Calvin didn't start walking (I had hoped he would), but speeded up the crawling

Spiderman is a current favourite - couldn't get the swimming costume off him some days

What more can I say ? The kids had a blast, we got to sleep in. We've come home rested and ready for what 2010 will throw at us

41/14 months

2009-11-15T14:55:00.011Z

Zack just loves playing "I spy" and a slight variation of it, which we call "Ten Guesses" (which means that you have to guess something he can see - or not - but he doesn't have to identify the first letter). He's really into story telling, and loves it when we make up tales about Prince Zack and Prince Calvin, or Zack the Spiderman, etc. He's excellent at filling in the gaps in familiar stories, or describing regular activities.
He is getting better and better at phonetics, and can often identify the sound that starts the word. He is writing "Z" with confidence, but struggles with the "A" and the "K". He's getting there tho. He is a pro at doing up buttons now, so pyjamas are Zack's department.
Zack has progressed so well on the toilet training. He had an upset tummy earlier in the week, so we were cleaning up mucky underpants for the first time in ages, which made me appreciate just how far he's come. The last 2 nights have also been an achievement in that he's managed to go through without wetting his nappy. This bodes well, as we'd like to get him to be dry thru the night in the near future. I think it won't be long.
Calvin is more and more mobile. You really have to keep an eye on him. Just a moment ago, I came into the study to read the BBC news site and before I could blink he'd crawled up the stairs. He is able to climb up onto our Barcelona chairs in the lounge, unassisted; altho' he is unable to get onto the sofa which is slightly higher - he gets frustrated at that. He loves playing peek-a-boo, and goes from room to room saying, "Aaaahahhhh. Ba-ba. Duhd. Daah-dee. Yeaaa. Eeehhh. Eeeett. Deh. Daaa--ahh. Aaah-ti," and the usual simpering which means, 'I want my own way Mummy!' He certainly has learnt how to crank up the volume - and lets you know when he means business. I think people are surprised when he shouts, as they know him to be so passive and chilled.
Calvin is pointing alot and saying "Dee" when he does so. He is interested in lights, switches and buttons, and wants to turn them on and off. Keeping him away from the DVD-player is proving a challenge, as he's watched his brother use it, and also being a genius, knows which button to press to open the CD tray. Eek !
Keith has kept a Father's Day card, which has the theme tune from Star Trek playing when you open it. Calvin just loves opening and closing it, opening and closing it. I must try and get it on video to upload :)

early winter colds

2009-11-11T11:53:00.005Z

Zack gets a paint-job at Early Learning Centre

We don't have H1N1 I believe, but the entire family's come down with nasty colds. Zack has a hacking cough (especially at night), Calvin is a green-snotty bub, Keith and I both have ENT infections. I think it's an indication of our mental state too – feeling run-down and over-wraught with all the goings on in the house and in our lives. The to-do list is overwhelming (tho' I hit it with all I've got during the weeks), the house has bits of mess in every room (eg. boxes, piles of paper, children's toys, discarded socks) and both feel exhausted in the evenings.
We had a lovely Saturday with friends – Corné & René – en route to Katmandu. They had a whole day to spend with us, and we loved going to the park, the playground & the pub. heh heh.

Corné

René

congratulations : utrecht

2009-11-02T17:00:00.000Z

Ah Clint & Jeany have done it again. Safe delivery of little Oliver Fischer - congrats to both of you, and to Sadie & Jack on a new baby brother.

so much going on

2009-10-26T21:12:00.004Z

When I see that I haven't posted anything in the last month, I know it's a testimony to just how busy you can get with two little people.

Calvin is crawling with ease now, and taking steps with his hands held. He loves 'walking' and is constantly begging you to lift him up so that he can go walk-about. He has six teeth – three on top (two and a half) and three at the bottom. He's had a bit of a cold, and a nasty viral rash a couple of weeks ago, but has made a full recovery.
He is really taking to solids and loves pasta and veggies, and of course - meat. He isn't very partial to bread tho' he will chew on a small bit here and there. His favourite fruit juice is lychee, and actually pushes apple juice aside if it's offered. He's learning to ask for things too. If he's mid-meal and is feeling thirsty, he'll say something like "dah day" and turn his head aside until he gets a cup. He is very eager to sip out of a cup, but so much of it goes down his front that I really need to be "in the mood" to indulge it, (and clean up afterwards/ do a clothing change).

enthusiastic session of nail-cutting "by myself"

Zack is continuing to mature. Today we were in a fabric store, and once we'd paid, Zack said "Let's get out of here."
I just laughed and laughed.
And last week, he said to me "Mommy, let's put my duvet on my bed like normal."
I just had to chuckle again - "like normal" obviously means 'as it should be'. Where did he get that from ?
Today was the nursery's Halloween Party. Zack doesn't go to nursery on Thursdays and I didn't make a special effort to go along. I feel a real reticence to support the Halloween celebrations, as he doesn't really understand it, and I hope that once he does, he'll know that Keith and I don't approve of the celebration of witches, devils, evil spirits, and all that goes with it. We want to celebrate life and the good things in it - when do we have a special day for that ?

Amazing.... said the Gruffalo I seem to say that all the time these days. Kids grow up so quickly.

congratulations : london

2009-09-25T14:39:00.001+01:00

Simon & Mary Jenkinson have a baby boy - Christopher Luke, born this morning. How exciting!

on the move

2009-09-25T10:23:00.004+01:00

Calvin can now crawl using all four limbs, and in a far more upright position. He's fast.
He's cutting two more teeth – incisors – the top two in front. Lots of dribbling, but I think we're nearly there.
Sleepwise, Calvin is still waking up regularly at 4am and crying. Sometimes I get up and settle him (70% of the time), other times it's Keith (15%) and the rest is us both lying there trying to be very disciplined about not going to him. We really need to make it more 30% going to him – there's no reason for waking up other than attention. Problem is, when it's your second child, you just want peace & quiet so you can go back to sleep. So you're actually reinforcing the bad behaviour.

We're having a few glorious moments with Zack. Yesterday on the tube, a chap got on at Camden Town (home of goths, alternative culture, punk, etc) with piercings on his face and a blue bandana. First thing Zack says is "what's that thing in his nose ?".
So I went through the list of possibilities, "Is it a boogie ?", "No,"
"Is it jewellery?", "Yes,"
"Is it a necklace?" (an in joke in our family), "No," he says rolling his eyes,
"Is it a bracelet?", "No,"
"Is it a jewel?", "Yes".
"Oooohhh".
and then, "Mommy, that man is a pirate," meaning the chap in the bandana.
"Yes," I say, "there is a pirate on the train."

Congratulations : naperville IL

2009-09-22T11:34:00.003+01:00

Big surprise here : safe arrival of Etienne Lambert to Ryan & Lanelle. And a jolly healthy size too at 9lbs 8oz - well done Lanelle.

reconnoiter

2009-09-15T23:20:00.003+01:00

I went and viewed the first primary school today : St James C of E Primary School. I hope to visit at least 4 before it's decision time. My impression was that it is a good school (Ofsted report is exemplary), the children all seem happy and confident, the administration is progressive, the head-teacher was open and at ease. Zack is eager to go there because he has friends attending already : Oskar, Jamie and Chloe - I don't think he realises that they're going to be a year ahead of him. It'll be nice for him to see them and have the familiarity to aid the settling process.
I hope to view the others nearby : Tetherdown Primary, Muswell Hill Primary, and our Lady of Muswell Hill Catholic Primary. I might see a few further away depending on how I feel after 4.

happy birthday Baby-cakes

2009-09-09T12:32:00.004+01:00

Calvin turned 1 recently, and we had a little Birthday Tea for a few friends.

My friend Elly's little boy, Asante, had his naming ceremony too - a really special event.

Kwame and Elly say their lines

We've been quite busy altho' Summer seems to be over – it keeps surprising us with another few glorious days between the cool, grey, drizzle that is autumn in London.

Zack & Charlie on the dervish at Ally Pally's Fair

I took Zack for a haircut on Saturday, and despite visiting the kiddie's salon last Wednesday so that he would be familiar with the space, he still went mental when it was cutting time. In the end I sat in the chair and held him down while the hairdresser cut quickly. Keith was standing behind him placating, but it was all very traumatic : Zack screaming and thrashing, and mother trying to maintain a firm grip on a 25kg (55lb) toddler. Poor Calvin was asleep when it all started, but the noise woke him up and he was crying too. There were two other boys in the room having haircuts (probably 8 and 10 year olds), and they were amazed at the proceedings.
In the end Zack calmed down to a sob, and then went quiet. Throughout we were all saying what a good boy he is, that there isn't anything to be scared of, that the cutting doesn't hurt at all, that he is very brave, etc. etc. I think the previous stints at the barber's have scarred him for life! But by the time he walked out of the shop, he was fine (except for the hairs tickling him) and said "goodbye" and "thank you" for the balloon. The rest of the day was filled with "I am a brave boy", and our reinforcing "Yes, you are a very brave boy."
Hope next time is better.

The trauma of the haircut completely forgotten
– sitting on Mario's shoulders

up, up and away

2009-08-21T16:22:00.002+01:00

Calvin is standing and loving it. Still only has three teeth, but there must be more on the way as there are signs of them coming - sore bottom, lots of drool and chewing his fingers.

make mine one with everything...

2009-08-18T23:33:00.004+01:00

Recently I took Zack with me to Starbucks (I am addicted. There I've said it). He usually has a lolly. Instead he said he'd have the almond biscotti - my usual accompaniment - because I wasn't ordering it. As I was about to pay, he was offered the "babychino"- I see that Starbucks is now pumping this product big time. Zack quickly accepted and we paid and went and sat down. As soon as I took my seat next to him, he unwrapped the biscotti and handed me one of the two biscuits. He then said,
'Mummy, I'm having a latté".
I was caught completely off-guard.
'I beg your pardon?' I said.
'I'm having a latte.' He repeated.
I just had to laugh. That's my "usual", so he was just saying what he'd always heard. I corrected him with, 'No love, you're having a babychino'.
'Oh,' he said, 'I'm having a 'chino'.
'That's right,' I said.

zonked

2009-08-13T10:11:00.002+01:00

Calvin has been up two nights running, teething. Last night I was up from 2:20am until nearly 4am and we tried everything - teething powder, Bonjela and lots of rocking and comforting. It didn't have much effect. Feeling pretty smashed today & the kitchen counters are being installed. Sigh...

horrid hols

2009-08-12T13:05:00.005+01:00

We're getting savvy in our old age... holidays with just Mum & Dad, Zack & Calvin are not working. The kids are bored and we get NO rest. We've been away for 10 days, and the lesson has been learnt. We gotta find a better way!
France was just beautiful and we were blessed with lovely weather and a chance to see the Loire Valley, gardens and chateux. Highlights included Villandry gardens, Zack & Keith going swimming; riding on the lawnmower with Hugo; staying with Ghislaine & Gerard.
Sadly Andy & Tammy weren't able to enjoy their holiday at all, as Tammy was in and out of hospital with respiratory problems. In the end they came back to the UK and went into ICU in Guildford. Tammy is doing much better now, and we anticipate she'll be discharged later today.
Zack was begging to come home 2 days ago, he was missing his friends and the familiarity of home & habit. He toddled off with us to playschool this morning in his Spiderman Tshirt and a happy face.
Calvin and I have both caught the nasty cough that Zack had, and now it's sore ears, tearful eyes, sinusitis and a nasty cough. Calvin was running a temperature last night, but a bit of Calpol helped him fight it.

meddling neighbours

2009-07-30T19:52:00.002+01:00

Yes, Marianne has said that Zack is extremely noisy in the mornings. To top it though, I have just had two neighbours from the opposite side ring our doorbell because Zack was in the bathtub "screaming for more than 10 minutes". Andy arrived this morning and Zack has been completely over-excited all day. Cleaning up toys was a chore, getting Zack to eat his dinner while wandering around and chucking his plate of food on the floor was a chore. Getting Zack to leave YouTube (we were showing Andy the Evian, skating babies) was a chore. Getting Zack into the bath was a battle. Getting him to rinse his hair was a battle. And in the end I emptied the bathtub, asking him to get out, and he wouldn't. So I left him there and joined Keith while he ate his supper and Zack shouted upstairs. He is COMPLETELY able to get out of the bath himself. He just chose not to. He sat in that tub screaming because he wanted attention, and we weren't going to give it to him because he is 'beyond reasoning', he's so tired.
And then... when Keith finally goes upstairs to get him out, the neighbours ring the bell and start talking about child abuse and saying that it's just insane leaving a child naked in the bathtub for ages, screaming. My first question was "do you have children?" and the second was "are you an aunt or uncle?" Negative to both. So I just waved my hands. Bloody hell! Who the hell do people think they are ????
I invited them in to see Zack, to speak to Keith. Both declined.
Piss off, gits.

.... I have seldom felt such indignation.

oink - zoom

2009-07-25T16:00:00.001+01:00

Swine Flu
Zack came home with a newsletter today to say that some children at the nursery have been prescribed Tamiflu and that the council has decided that there is nothing to be gained by closing local nurseries now. As I'd said before, it is really just a question of time before one of us comes down with it. The press published infection rates in yesterday's paper and many of the borough's have around 400 per 100,000 except for Tower Hamlets (where we used to live) which stands around 740 per 100,000 – almost double.

Zack and Anokye tuck into some pineapple

Zack's PT has dipped in the past few days. Last night he wee'd while eating his dinner. This morning, he wee'd going downstairs for breakfast (I assume he'd forgotten that he wasn't wearing a nappy - night time thing - and just let go). It's exasperating because he knows what's going on and we are caught between 'was it an accident' or 'is he just doing it for attention' ?

Crawling
Calvin is honing his mobility and can now get around using two arms and a leg. I've tried to encourage the second leg to join in, but he prefers to keep it dead-straight in a sort of rudder position. He loves being able to get around and go and see things : this evening he wandered off to the guest loo and utility room for a 'look see'. He is really very sweet and loves to wave his arms, wiggle his right hand and fingers and shriek. He is certainly getting the screaming down pat - enough to raise the dead sometimes.

summertime

2009-07-21T21:11:00.005+01:00

We are now living downstairs - the kitchen has gone in and we've moved the TV downstairs too. It means that Zack can watch whatever he likes (of course within reason) NOT in our bedroom. That means one of us can sleep in, without the fighting that used to take place outside the bedroom door, to keep one 3 year old quiet. Bliss !
It also means that we're no longer eating in the study and washing up in the bathroom which is jolly nice indeed.
Zack has been in transition again (boy, does this ever slow down) which means that he's had moments where he's a complete handful and won't listen to anything, sticks his tongue out and shouts "NO!" at us; but he is also delightful and tells me that he wants to marry me (Yikes, the Oedipal complex has kicked in). There has been a sudden cognitive blooming - he is getting all sorts of ideas together with the vocabulary necessary for communicating them. It's really amazing watching the changes. He is still as bossy as ever : today we were building train-tracks, and I asked if I could fix the 'design'. A while later he said to me, "You can play with my trains Mummy, but you must never, ever change my tracks. OK!?!"
It's now summer holidays which means no more Enjoy-a-Ball classes until September, which will be sorely missed. The upside is that in September he will be joined by more children - a bigger class (than the current 3).
Something I'm struggling with is the reward for good/bad behaviour. On the one hand I want Zack to realise that toys are valuable and don't grow on trees. But also that when he gets things we need to value them - they don't just get replaced when they get broken or thrown away. But at the same time, there's the pressure of developmental needs and I feel like it's time to buy him a bike. Perhaps it could be a carrot for good behaviour.. but what ?
Calvin is getting around quite a bit - he's just using two arms and a knee but it's enough to get him from one side of the room to another, especially if there are wires to be reached and pulled. Phone chargers are in danger.
Zack is none too gentle with his little brother so I need to keep an eye on them, altho' Calvin now yells if his brother holds his hand or foot - an alarm of sorts.
Calvin is trying to drop his afternoon sleep, and it makes life quite hard as he gets so tired by 4pm that he's inconsolable. Tut tut - that's little tots for you. He's participating more and more in conversations and we've graduated from da-da-da to ma-ma and na-na, and also deee-th. I guess that means "dad-ee" is around the corner.
Unlike his brother, Calvin cannot bear a moment with a poo in his nappy, so he has a special "poo cry", which means 'Take it away!'. Pretty useful.

make that...

2009-07-07T10:30:00.003+01:00

Two Teeth! he cut the second one the following day. Poor little guy - and more importantly, poor mummy and daddy who've had very little sleep in the last ten days with the teething. Good news tho' is that the constipation seems to be easing. It's so hard for these little tummies to get used to "new" food. I've very relieved that things seem to be back on a rhythm.
Calvin is also sitting more and more. He struggles to stay upright on very hard surfaces (wooden flooring), but carpets are easier. He's taking more note of himself in the mirror too, and reaching out when we walk past.

tooth

2009-07-01T09:17:00.007+01:00

Calvin has one tooth - bottom left. He cut it one day shy of ten months... pretty slow going, but if a friend is to be believed, the longer it takes for them to come, the better quality they are. Maybe his are verging on Titanium, or Carbon or something... ha ha.

My mum on her last afternoon with us

The house continues a pace, with the dry rot chaps leaving last Friday and the flooring men arriving this morning at 8:30am. Very soon we will have a living area in our house, and early next week the semblance of a kitchen too. Zack has been extremely naughty in the past five days. Saturday was the worst with him getting up to all sorts - actually it had started on Friday night with him throwing his shoes over the fence into the neighbour's garden. Unfortunately the fence is just too high for me to reach over, so it was left to Keith. Saturday morning they were retrieved, and Zack promptly threw them over the fence again. Keith was furious.
Throwing things is a bit of a thing right now: cars, stones, toys; and refusing to listen (perhaps it's just being contrarian but it amounts to the same thing). My counsellor suggested that his behaviour is affected by the ongoing upheaval in his environment. Granted. I also see the jealousy of Calvin entertwined there - especially as Calvin gets more mobile. Zack is pushing all the boundaries, so it's taking extra effort on all our parts to show him where the parameters are.

Tina (our housekeeper) continues to be a real support.

Second time around

2009-06-17T08:29:00.007+01:00

We are now in the thick of getting Calvin onto solids. He is hilariously different from Zack. He prefers to be able to have one hand in whatever it is we're feeding him, I guess it must be a texture thing. And he's slowly getting the message that he needs to open his mouth to let the food in. He is quite a little tiger though, as he will fight off attempts to feed him when he's decided he's a) not ready, or b) not in the mood. His little hands flap around and he presses his lips, firmly together. He loved the blended chicken and butternut, but hated the beans and brocolli (admittedly it tasted very dull & dreary). I've tried a few of the bottled offerings, which he can't stand but he's happily eating the sachets of organic food made by Ella's Kitchen. I'm such a pragmatic mummy – I've never been one to insist on only organic for my children. He gets a mixture of everything.
One thing I'd never offered Zack is Cheerios, but I've bought a box and sprinkle a few on the table every morning. Calvin has excellent fine motor skills (again, completely different from his big brother), so loves picking up small things and putting them in his mouth.
We had a nasty few days of sore bottoms, and acidic nappies, but still no sign of teeth – going to have to wait and see. Someone said to me the other day, that the longer you wait for teeth, the better they are (I'm assuming quality). It sounds like another 'placatory mummy comment' to me. But it would be nice to believe.

We spent a lovely afternoon at a local fair in Bounds Green last weekend

Zack is pottering along. He's loving his new ball skills class – Enjoy a Ball – with Nicole and wishes most of Tuesday mornings away so that he can go, at lunchtime. We've moved the trampoline off the deck and into the far corner of the garden, so we can use the deck area. It feels far less claustrophobic now. We're having a lovely summer, so there's ample opportunity for sitting outside of an evening.

My cousins came for lunch 2 weeks ago, and Zack had a ball

His potty training has been successful, and most mornings he'll even get up and poo in the toilet instead of his nappy, which Keith and I think is the best gift.
Because of the state of the house, we don't have a very accessible TV area (it's in our bedroom), so Zack watches quite a few of his favourite CBB's shows on the 'mecuter' (computer), and is becoming incredibly dextrous with a mouse. He's got the hang of where the buttons are for clicking and how to navigate the screen. Ah, another generation eh ?
Our housekeeper, Tina, continues to be an enormous help. She is very willing and very able. She is crazy about Calvin and just wants to cuddle and play with him. Initially Zack was quite enamored with her, but now he's realised she's here to stay (and discipline him), so he needs a few AAK's (attitude adjustment klap) along the way for spitting, blowing razzies, and saying "No!". But he'll get there. Tina had her visa extended yesterday, so she's in high spirits and feeling very relieved. I really feel for her because she's been here almost a decade, but the new "Living in the UK" tests stand between her and getting her residency. I've read the material and some of it is beyond the grasp of a huge percentage of the British populace. They've certainly set the bar high.
My mum is back from her canalboat holiday this afternoon, so we look forward to getting her back. On Monday Nana will be going home to "Africa" (as Zack says), which will be a sad goodbye. Best we make the most of the next few days.
On the house-front, we continue a pace with the dry-rot removal. We've been told it'll be just another week 'till they're finished, then we can get our flooring back. And unwrap the sofas (which were delivered last week, but are standing up-ended, in the front lounge. We're all wishing our way to the kitchen installation, but that'll be sometime yet.

PT success

2009-05-31T22:36:00.007+01:00

Zack is now 99% potty trained during the day. We haven't had any accidents in the last two weeks. Calvin was 9 months old yesterday, and is getting along well. Still no teeth, and no sitting. But he's a happy little baby, loves shrieking (new thing), sleeps on his tummy sometimes and has lovely sparkly eyes, just like his brother.

PT - nearly there

2009-05-17T22:06:00.004+01:00

It's really strange how things sneak up on you as a parent. You hear it all the time, "they grow up so quickly," etc etc. I feel like we've been on the potty-training treadmill for a millenia and now suddenly Zack has got the message. Today we had NO accidents. Only hiccup was that he insisted on going to bed with no nappy, so I had to let him sleep for a while before I surreptitiously sneaked one on. Only 2 weeks ago we went cold turkey and were cleaning poo out of underpants, and wanting to vomit. And now here we are, and I have no idea what changed, or what was different, or why Zack got it right. I think that peer pressure at nursery has certainly helped because he gave me a very long story this morning about not being a little boy anymore, but that he was a big, big boy. He even pee'd standing up at Jackie's house this morning. I was completely verstom (afrikaans for 'stumped'). I didn't know he could do it.
All very exciting.

This is one of those classic shots of your kid – he SO doesn't want to be in the photo

Zack's nursery outing to Legoland Windsor on Thursday 14th May was great fun. I don't recommend trying to do it alone with 2 small children, but overall we had a great time. Here all his little mates are posing with the 'stars' from the water show (a sort of Indiana Jones style thing, with lots of falling off high towers into the water, jet-ski's and trampoline stunts) – the kids loved them.

PT - some success

2009-05-10T11:37:00.003+01:00

Zack is very proud of himself (or it may just be the motivation of getting a lolly), but he has managed to get his wee in the potty a few times this week, and even a poo yesterday. I am very relieved that things are moving ahead in this sphere. I feel like we've been on the potty training (PT) treadmill for a year and a half with very little success.
This week alone, I've had to wipe up a very large puddle of urine in Marks & Spencer, and under the Tombola table at yesterday's Fair. Have I espoused the virtues of muslin clothes before ? I'm sure I have. They have MANY uses.
I'm looking forward to a week of more flushing, and less holding legs in the air to wipe bums

spring is in the air

2009-04-29T10:56:00.004+01:00

We took ourselves off to Highgate woods over the weekend, and it was gloriously sunny. Kids running around kicking balls, eating icecream and climbing trees. Just wonderful!
We have hired a housekeeper to help with running the house and staying up to date on washing, cleaning and two untidy little boys. Let's face it, it's only going to get worse - mess wise - before it gets better. Calvin is rolling over, so crawling and sitting are not far away, which will add to the 'containment' issues. LOL.
The house is still a tip, and more so as the dry-rot work continues on and on. They've been here for 5 weeks now and we've gone down to soil in the lounge, the kitchen and now the utility room stairs. They're actually burrowing underneath the entrance hall tiles to find the extremity of the infestation. We're holding our breath to see if it's just a foot or so.
I feel emotionally tired just thinking about it all. And I don't feel like there's a huge amount of down time. Even tho' we have a TV (currently in our bedroom, away from too much dust), I seem to stagger up there at about 10:30pm and switch it on, flick through the channels, then roll over and go to sleep. I'm really not a fan of TV in the bedroom, it seems to eat into my 'self time'.

It's not all about YOU Zack

2009-04-13T12:15:00.004+01:00

Enough of the horribly demanding 3 year old...
Calvin is doing so well. He is a very sweet little boy, with a cheery disposition (just like Mary Poppins) and quite placid for the most part. He is now learning to roll sideways.

He loves curling up his feet and playing with his toes. He enjoys the time on his tummy and his neck is getting stronger and stronger. I'm pottering along pretty steadily with the weaning. I'm following the 'baby led weaning' that I did with Zack - giving Calvin lots of things to gnaw on : apple sticks, banana wedges, cooked snap peas, carrots, potato. He does tend to gag on the unusual textures, but he's getting the hang of it.

Calvin & Isabel enjoy an intimate moment at Mudchute Farm

on the upside...

2009-04-02T18:58:00.004+01:00

Good news (for once) : I have secured a place for Zack at a nearby nursery, for 3 days a week. It will start next Tuesday. Apparently I can claim £300-500/term for childcare from the government too, because he is over the age of 3. How great is that ? ! ?

despite the photo we had a fabulous time

2009-03-28T20:32:00.008Z

Today was Zack's 3rd birthday party. Unfortunately he is now in bed with a raging temperature and a little delirious, talking about fish in dark tunnels and spiderman in his bedroom (he's NEVER watched spiderman, so I don't know what he's thinking). Have given him some paracetamol and will check his temp in an hour or so. Currently it's 38.5ºC
The party was an absolute hit : good ratio of adults to children. We had pass the parcel and everyone got a treat. I put out lots of fruit and veggies (in addition to the usual culprits - crisps / sweets), and everything got munched except the tomatoes. We had ice-cream cones towards the end of the afternoon with 'sprinkles' and of course the cake.

Timing is everything....

Jake, Alessio, Zack & Mia pose with their fancy cones

Zack and Keith spent all morning putting up the new trampoline and Dean (one of the daddies) helped Keith attach the net in time for the party to start. It was a complete hit, and everyone jumped and jumped and jumped. I am really pleased it went off so well.

I am now going to sit in bed with a glass of wine - I really miss having a TV and a sofa - and read a book while the kids sleep.

photos from SA holiday

2009-03-24T14:31:00.003Z

zack chasing sienna and cole on our first Sunday

calvin enjoying a moment on grandpa's lap

back to earth with a thud...

2009-03-22T20:29:00.004Z

Tomorrow is "exit day" - we fly out of OR Tambo at 21h25. It's going to be interesting to see how I cope with two little 'uns, but I'm not the first and the air hostesses have been very helpful thus far. Once I'm home tho...the daunting task of ripping up the floor and all the "dry rot work" lies ahead - what a pain in the butt. I feel exhausted just thinking about the mess and builders and Aaarrghhhh !
I lean on a verse in Matthew 6 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." [verse 34] - gives you a bit of perspective in all the mania.
On the upside tho' it'll be good to be home again. I can't wait to see the photos that Keith took and also begin the arrangements for Zack's 3rd birthday party next Saturday. Astonishing that he's turning three on Wednesday.

PND and all that

2009-03-15T21:28:00.003Z

Yes, I know it's been quiet for the last while... it hasn't helped that we haven't had broadband for more than a month, but hey. Most of you know (from my Facebook posts at the least) that we've had a helluva time with the house - discovering dry rot under the kitchen floor (and who knows where else), ten days before we flew out to SA. I'm just hoping when Keith gets home tomorrow that it won't have grown into a forest in a short time. We'll have to wait and see.
I'm staying on in Jo'burg with the boys for another 10 days, which will be good for both Keith (getting up to speed back at the office), and the boys and I (more time with the grannies and cousins). I've been to see a counsellor and GP and have been diagnosed with Post Natal Depression (PND). It's strange, but I've had mixed feelings about talking about it since the diagnosis. I have been prescribed an SSRI antidepressant which I'll take for more than 6 months.

ever onward

2009-02-22T23:10:00.007Z

It has been quite a week at Chez Guthrie. I've not been the happiest, or healthiest camper. We have however succeeded in interviewing 5 girls for the baby-sitting job, and there was one very clear leader. I am feeling extremely buoyed by Tunde and her willingness and natural affinity for children. It has been a real weight off my shoulders.

We had the locksmith in this week to replace front-door locks and put Chubb locks on all the sash-windows. A huge job, and an expensive one, but it's a good feeling to know that you've done what's necessary. We registered at a new GP practice and Calvin went for his 2nd round of shots too. I have had a nasty bout of oral thrush (candida albicans) for the last month at least, so it was good to go to the doctor's and get some Nystatin. I haven't had a chance to take it regularly enough, but I'm hoping it'll do the trick. I still have a rotten throat and sinus infection, but I'm guessing it's one of those "viral" ones, that the doctor's can't do anything about. Will go and see one in SA!

Yesterday was our 11th anniversary, and we had the wonderful Tunde here to look after the kids and put them to bed, while Keith and I grabbed some supper and went and saw a show together. It was SUCH a treat... it's been ages since we did something so nice. I think we've just been plodding along since Kelly stopped babysitting, and now I feel like we could get back into the 'regular' thing again.

Lenore has lent us a great book entitled "Getting from NO to YES, without bribing or threatening" - I have started it, but will need to take it with me to SA. It is full of great ideas and suggestions for dealing with child-rearing issues. We are taking a bit of strain with young Zack at the moment.

On Friday we went to Amy's place and saw Ruby, Caitlin, Amy & Trish. Both mums' are almost 39 weeks preggie. Whew! Sadly I didn't have the camera with me, only the vid-cam, so I'll have to upload a little clip of the kids playing together. It was delightful (mostly).

It is now midnight, and Calvin has vomited, and got diarea all in one bang. He hasn't been well since the day of his shots when he started with the upset tummy. Yesterday he vomited a huge amount of milk up, but was fine for the rest. Then again today around noon, he did the same thing again - a huge amount of milk came up (ages after a feed) – and then 'all fine' for the rest of the afternoon. He is looking quite pale, but his breathing is OK and he's still alert. I've decided to put him back to bed and feed him as soon as he wakes up again. Poor little guy - he really isn't well at all :(

settling in

2009-02-12T20:20:00.005Z

We've been here for 2 weeks now, and I'm finally starting to feel more at ease. Zack and I went off to the Mum & Tots group on Monday. I felt a bit shell-shocked afterwards - no-one spoke to me, or even made a comment. There were about 50 kids there, so the place was heaving. It made me realise just how wonderful "Chatterbox" is (our 'old' group in Limehouse). The east enders are a friendly bunch - because so many of them are immigrants. Here it's one-big-homogenous-cakeslice who don't really need new friends, so they don't try . It means I'm going to have to put in some extra effort to "break the ice" as it were; it's not all bad tho.... We went along to the Woman's Bible study group at church yesterday morning and they run a creche. It worked out very well - Zack had a ball with the older boys, and played the piano a bit with the girls. I had to drag him away at the end. Calvin slept thru' the entire episode, so no complaints there. It is good to be surrounded by mums with kids the same age. Afterwards I bumped into 2 or 3 of them walking home, which adds to the sense that this is a community. Things are looking up!

Getting things sorted out at home is taking night after night of our energy : I got to IKEA at 9pm last night. It's a good thing as I managed to find a blind & curtain for the kid's bedroom. I had spent two sessions at our local John Lewis (department store) looking at curtains & blinds earlier this week, but to no avail. The ready-made ones are all too short. I suppose the other thing is that IKEA's stuff is fine (and they fit) and doesn't cost the earth. I found blinds for the study too, and the difference in cost is more than £1000!! And not for a vastly different creature either I might add.
The fridge arrived on Tuesday which was fabulous. And it's a monster ! It is nice to have the space after living out of a bar-fridge for almost 2 weeks. You think you'll never fill these things, and then steadily all the stuff creeps in.

Zack has been up & down this week. Some days he's been lovely and really interactive, enthusiastic, participated well, communicated well. Other days we've just come to loggerheads all day - those are the hardest days for me, because by 5pm my patience is gone and I turn into the disciplinarian. Keith's hours are still not too good, so he gets home well after the kid's bedtime which isn't really part of the plan. One night this week I was so tired of fighting with Zack that I got him out of the bath at 7:30 and then said to him that he could do whatever he wanted until daddy got home to read him a story and put him to bed. Keith walked in at 8:40pm and wondered why Zee was still up.
Another night this week, I just went to bed at 8:30pm - as soon as Keith got home. It's emotionally exhausting and I hardly get enough sleep anyway. It was good to be asleep for an extra few hours.

Calvin is 24 weeks tomorrow, and is getting over his conjunctivitis. It's one of those funny infections that kids get, and you really just need to be persistent about cleaning. I would like to have another round of 'shots' before we leave for South Africa. Unfortunately we aren't yet registered with a new GP here in Muzzies, so I'll probably have to go to the Barkantine to get it done. It's not all bad - will make it part of a trip to sort out the flat in Coldharbour. That is another saga, for another blog. Suffice it to say, the flat is getting fixed up and we should be able to put it on the rental market in the next week or so.

It is two weeks until we fly to South Africa and I am counting down. I CANNOT wait to be there and just rest a bit. It will be blissful having the grannies, aunties and uncles around to play with the kids and spoil them with attention and games. My poor hands and feet need lots of TLC - moving house ruins them, especially in a harsh winter like this one.

I have tried & tried to find a baby sitter to replace (the wonderful) Kelly. It's been hard work. I have still not actually managed to meet a potential candidate, but roll on next week, when I will line up some eager girls. I'm hoping to also make the time to see the local nursery (across the road) and find out about the Open Days at the local Montessori's (there are two).

how bad can it be ?

2009-02-06T11:33:00.004Z

Pretty bloody awful to be fair. We moved in last week Friday - so it's been a week now - and I don't think I've felt quite this low in a long time. There have been a few big issues with the house. When we moved in we were aware that we'd need to do a few bits and bobs to make it more liveable.
As it turned out none of the showers worked properly : the first one's shower head just poured water out the top of it - useless! That bathroom has no door, and nor does the actual shower, so the water splashes everywhere including the bedroom carpet. The next shower, although convenient (it's an en suite) didn't have a mixer that worked. That meant you could only get scalding hot water. The hand shower isn't wall mounted, so you have to pick all the bits off the floor if you want to use them.
The last shower was leaking like a sieve... straight into the utility room downstairs. Turned out the shower tray hasn't been properly attached to the wall, or sealed. On top of that we've had taps that leak, and handles that fall off.
What really pushed me right over the edge yesterday tho' was the washing machine. I'd carefully timed the booking of the plumber (who has repaired most of what I've listed above), to follow the delivery of the new machine. But Keith decided that he could plumb it in and it would be fine. He couldn't have been more wrong. Yesterday was extremely stressful with so much to do between the plumber leaving, and then me driving down to the Docklands to leave Zack & Calvin with friends, so that I could attend Keith's Xmas Party. Add to this a husband who remembers at the last minute that it's black tie, and now I need to find a tux, a dress shirt and a waistcoat somewhere, in some cupboard or box, in one room or another, in a very messy house that is full of boxes. We went without a bowtie in the end!
Anyway... I set the machine to wash and before I left home I heard it spinning and it was the most awful noise. I went downstairs, to see that it was bouncing around all over the place and it's too heavy for me to move, so I just took everything off the top of it and put it on the floor. I rang Keith to say so, and he said, "Just put a towel at the door of the room so that if it floods, the water won't run onto the hardwood flooring." Guess what !? We went out to this party in central London, it finished after 12:30. We left the Docklands after 1:30am, so we only got home around 2:30am and my beautiful new washing machine had been banged against the wall and radiator. It had ripped itself out of the waste pipe, so all the waste water had filled the utility room and guest loo. Everything that I'd moved on the floor was sodden - 2 boxes of washing powder, a large bag of dirty clothes, all the instruction manuals and warranties, the neat pile of building rubble from the plumber, who'd had to cut a hole in the ceiling to find the leak from the shower, etc etc etc. I just wanted to weep. You don't feel very strong at 3am, especially after all the stuff that's needed fixing already.
There is so much washing to be done and now I don't have a machine that works - because it's not level, AND I cannot make it level. I can't go to the laundromat because I can't control 2 small children for 2 or 3 hours in a confined space with nothing to do. Besides, it's raining and snowing so we can't exactly play outside can we?
Keith blames it entirely on the fact that John Lewis took away the one piece of equipment that he needed to level the machine - a special LG spanner. It's unusually large so nothing we have fits it. Brilliant!
After all that, lying in bed at 4am, I hear a drip-drip-drip, and it's the basin in our en-suite. It's started leaking too (apparently because Keith bumped it). Honestly, you start thinking "what next?".

Calvin carries on regardless. He is incredibly placid and easy-going. The only time he really gets upset is when he's hungry and is being ignored. Unfortunately he's now got conjunctivitis in his right eye. Poor little blighter.
I am not coping at all well with Zack's behaviour at the moment. He is being deliberately VERY naughty, throwing things down the stairs and acting up. It's a very very hard time indeed. I have not had to scream at him so much in a very long time. I feel quite hoarse from all the shouting I've had to do this morning. He is incredibly defiant and stubborn. Everything is "No Mommy", or "I'll tell my Daddy" (obviously a classic that he's picked up at nursery), and the last resort, "You not my friend Mommy!" Please tell me this isn't going to last ? I just hate every minute of it.

You're probably wondering how we're all doing in the snow and sleet ? I think I have more than enough on my plate right now... but I did manage to take Zack out to play in it. He didn't like that it was so cold. I will upload some photos soon.

On top of everything Zack and I baked some snickerdoodles yesterday (type of biscuit) which turned out really well. He took 18 of them to Greg & Charlie as a treat.

out of touch ?

2009-01-30T10:44:00.003Z

Well, yesterday was the big "packing up" day and all of our worldly possessions are now in a van somewhere on the A12. Zack has been really psyched about the move, jumping around and shouting. He's decided that his bed, and mummy and daddy's bed are going in his room! It's very emotional saying goodbye to everything here in the East of London, after almost 9 years in the area. But we've had a chance to say our farewells to each group of friends, and Zack's nursery friends too, so I don't feel like we're rushing out the door. As luck would have it, I'm back at church tomorrow for a cookery course, Zack has a birthday party in the afternoon, and I have a party in the evening too, so we'll hardly be gone for 20 hours!

Full On
The daunting task of caring for two little people at home 24/7 now lies ahead of me, but I'm hoping that I'll quickly find mum & tot groups to attend, and that going to church on Sunday will open doors to local goings-on and a mum's bible study too. Whew! Big changes.
We are saying goodbye to our nanny, Kelly, who lives in south-east London. It's too far for her to travel on Mondays and Fridays. We are very sad to see her go, but I'm hoping that we'll be able to stay in touch. Zack is very fond of her, and she of him – it's much more than just a job.
I'm not sure at this point in time what the child-care arrangements are going to be. I've looked into the two Montessori schools nearby. There is a nursery over-the-road, so I'll check that out next week. I'll need to start interviewing baby-sitters again, so there's a list of things for me to do in that regard.

at least poo washes off

2009-01-19T23:48:00.005Z

Today Zack found a permanent marker - yes, I am entirely to blame (packing up house means there are scissors, packing tape and marker pens lying around) - and coloured in his bed linen and his toy monkey. God is very wise and allows time to pass and for you to see the funny side of things. If I'd been writing this at 2:30pm today I would have had to censor the entry - I was fuming. They aren't wrong when they say that you must tackle stains immediately because I did manage to get most of it off monkey's face, but I'm afraid his body and tail are "coloured in" for life.

Blessed relief:
Calvin is now sleeping for more than 6 hours at a stretch! So we are getting more sleep and feeling a little more able. Now all I have to do is get Keith to go to bed before 12:30 and we'll have made progress :(

unhappy puppy

2009-01-18T20:02:00.002Z

You could say that I am grumpy. I don't think that I've ever had a "cold" (NHS for viral infection) that has been this painful before IN MY LIFE. My throat and sinuses are so sore that I want to just start drinking & sniffing anaesthetic. I feel like the back of my throat is covered in lesions - every swallow is excruciating. The inside of my mouth feels like I've burnt it, which makes me wonder whether I don't have oral thrush - I caught it from Zack when he was very small, so I do have some memory of that experience. The one good thing is that my nose is relatively clear, so I can actually breath. But that's where it stops. I took a good look at myself in the mirror this afternoon and thought, "hell, you look like you're on cortisone" - my throat is so swollen that it looks like the underside of my chin and neck have fused. I can't sniff because it's so sore, but blowing my nose is just as painful.
Hey, did I mention that my ears ache too ?

the news

2009-01-16T10:53:00.003Z

Hurrah ! We will complete on the new house on the 26th of January. Which means we can move in any time after that.
The sad news is that Kelly, our nanny, has decided not to come with us to North London because of the distance. This is really heart-breaking for me as I had so hoped to have some kind of familiarity in the new environment for Zack. But, I suppose, what will be, will be. Perhaps we can arrange a few trips to see Kelly in the first month.
Thankfully, we only have to get ourselves through 4 weeks and then we'll be off to SA & glorious sunshine, and time with family. That should be enough time for me to at least settle us in, find a few kiddy activities nearby, and look at a nursery for Zee.

Every journey starts with a single step. I've called the removal company, so now we need to decided on a date !

Run Down
I am one sick puppy. I've had an ENT infection for nearly 2 weeks now, and the doctor told me to take paracetamol - $&%@”™ idiot ! I've been having progressively worse and worse night's sleep, so I feel pretty broken right now. I took myself off to the doctor again today, and initially she went the Iboprofen / Paracetamol route, and I just thought, "forget this!"... so I had a jolly good cry and said that it wasn't good enough. That I needed to be healthy to cope with being a mother, and that paracetamol, et al, wasn't cutting it. She said I needed rest. I told here, there is no rest with 2 children. She said I should speak to my health visitor. Yeah, yeah, haven't we heard that one before. In the end she gave in and prescribed some penicillin. I'm hoping it'll make a difference because I could happily cut my head off at the moment, it feels so awful. I'm sure my glands in my throat are the size of plums. Swallowing is an effort. And on top of it all, I still have very swollen eye-lids after 7 days. Thankfully you can't prescribe paracetamol for that too! She said it's probably a viral conjuctivitis so I need to bathe them with distilled water. Watch this space....

backwards is forwards

2009-01-10T16:12:00.003Z

Zack is now walking backwards with confidence. You may think, "so what?!" but it's a significant developmental milestone. He is still crazy about cars, building roads out of bricks and blocks, and his trainset. His behaviour continues to be up & down: we have the most delightful moments when we giggle together and tell one another 'secrets', and egg each another on to do silly things, but he is struggling to control his feelings of frustration. The latest outlet is spitting and rasberries. I tell myself, it could be worse, but it still needs to be monitored. There is a thin line between a casual rasberry and defiance, disrespect and just plane rude.
Calvin is doing well - he is now lifting his little feet up and kicking his baby gym dangle-doodads. He's interacting more and more, catching your eye across the room and giving you a big smile. He is determined to eat his fingers, which may (or may not) be the early signs of teething.
My neighbour, Huma, came to tea yesterday and we chatted about all things baby. She mentioned that she'd been for a BCG with Aneeq at the Barkantine, and they'd given him an out of date one, and admistered it incorrectly. She is a paediatrician so would notice if someone had pinched the skin or not, etc etc. It made me take a look at Calvin's immunisation chart, and I saw that I haven't had ANY of them (besides the BCG, which is an enormous, swollen, ugly scab on his shoulder right now). What's the matter with me ? He's missed his 8 week, his 12 week and his 16 week jabs. Consequently we have an appointment on Monday morning at 8:15am for the first round! Naughty mummy.

two things...

2009-01-06T20:56:00.003Z

I've given up the unequal struggle and am now formula-feeding Calvin 100%. Unfortunately there is almost no way of keeping up when bottles are easy to drink from. Now that I've tried to express to chase up the milk production I can see just how little is being produced by moi. Well, 4 months is better than a kick in the pants eh ?!

Having listened to well-meaning mummies, and parenting books, all of whom have their own agendas, I am encouraged by some reading I did in the Good Book last night :
Proverbs 18:18
Discipline your son while there is hope,
And do not desire his death.
Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13
Do not hold back discipline from the child,
Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.

Sometimes you get so tired of "drawing the line" and telling them off. But reading this makes me see that I need to just persevere. And.. before you freak out and call the NSPCC try reading these in context - what the themes are, who wrote Proverbs, and why.

Congratulations - London & Mackay!

2008-12-31T19:06:00.003Z

Huge congratulations to my cousin Christopher, Sarah and little Lucas on safe arrivals on the 29th of Dec. Chris, he looks like a real little bossie. Sarah - hope you're doing OK after the C-section honey. Take things easy if you can.

Congratulations to my mate Kim and her partner Nick on the birth of little Stanley - eagerly anticipated. Well done you two !