War of Wills

We have just returned from a 2.5 hour round-trip walk - I pushed the pram and Zack scooted. We got home to complete "meltdown" (toddler tantrum - screaming, crying, lying on the floor and shouting "NO!! NO!! NO!!") and I can go off my head with frustration. I am really in no state to be walking miles and miles, but someone has to take Zack out to burn off the excess energy. My left hip joint is killing me and no amount of hip/glute stretches and knee-rolls are going to fix this - believe me ! I've tried.
If anything convinces me that children, (nevermind all of mankind) are sinful, fallen creatures, it's days like today. We travel all that way - basically the entire trip is for Zack's benefit. We are doing all the things he likes doing. We stop at a coffee-shop for a frozen juice and a muffin to share. Then he scoots all around the Jubilee Mall which is a treat as the floors are marble, smooth and wide. He gets to press all the lift buttons, the pedestrian buttons, AND the disabled door buttons - mummy is VERY patient today and indulges Zack's button-pressing needs at every opportunity. He munches on an apple I brought with me and eats some of the sandwich too. He is neither hungry, nor thirsty. I changed his nappy after the coffee shop. (many boxes ticked, that might otherwise lead to bad behaviour). But, the end result is not a child that's had a good time, rather it ends in tears and tantrums.

• He does not stop, when I call to him to "stop". He blithely scoots off out of sight - 80% of the time.
• He does not come back, when I call him to. He'll come back if he sees that he's taken a wrong turn and we're going in a different direction to him, but that's the only instance of returning to base.

When we got home, I said he could scoot up two speed bumps in the neighbour's car park. He disappeared out of the other side of their building (60m away), and came around the block. He is two years old. Yes, we live in a cul-de-sac, but that is absolutely no reason for his disobedience. I can stand there and call and shout to him to come back, but he won't. I thought perhaps I should just take the scooter away - there have to be consequences to my pleas for him to be obedient/listen. I remember Keith reading the Baby Wise book which said we shouldn't expect our children to do things beyond their capability. I think this is a case in point. He doesn't understand that he can die, be maimed or seriously injured if he goes off on his own. YOU CANNOT REASON WITH A TWO YEAR OLD !

What does Supernanny have to say ?

• Toddlers act on impulse.
• Toddlers do not set out to wind you up - haven't yet developed this ability.
• They do not have a sense of time, so don't understand the concept of "waiting".

I need to work harder on 2 techniques :

• Reinforce good behaviour with attention & praise.
• Not make empty threats: take the scooter away if he doesn't listen (because I can't run and catch him). Have a "time out" in his bedroom, when he starts giving me lip (shouting "No") or being aggressive.

my own comments:
Boy oh boy, I can see why some parents just opt out - they let their kids run riot instead of stepping in and doing something. It is exhausting being consistent with discipline, although I know it will lead to happier, more contented and self-assured children. I wish there was a restore button I could press when I'm starting to lose it. I would be happier with myself and I think Zack would respond better.

I am hot, I am not

I've suddenly started feeling decidedly warm. Having carried Zack through the opposite seasons, I keep expecting to be warm, and finding I'm not. Well, it seems like that's all about to change - I felt like a glow-worm last night in church (yes, there were alot of people in the building too, so that might have had something to do with it).

Pregnancy Wear(y)
We have a wedding to attend in 2 week's time, so I'm naturally concerned about what I'm going to wear. I'm going to have a little rant here about the rubbish clothes that designers (read, High Street designers, not couture) think pregnant women should be wearing. There is really SO little that is flattering, it's depressing! Very few preggie mums are willing to blow the budget on an outfit... there's just no point, unless it's an extremely significant event. I've been looking at what stars seem to think is attractive, and there really is a broad sample out there - ranging from hideous, to "do-able", to Wow. True, many of the High Street stores have suddenly started stocking maternity wear - this wasn't the case 2 years ago. I thought Zara's range was quite nice, when I popped in on Saturday, but they're still designing their trousers for Wednesday legs (sigh). And, variety doesn't always mean you'll be able to find something. Even M&S have some nice stuff, but the melted plastic on the reverse of the neckline was far from comfortable.
When I was in Australia and 4 months pregnant with Zack, I found hoards of lovely maternity clothes. Why am I failing here, in the Land of Fashion ? I don't think it's just me – not even celebs know what they're doing with their bumps half the time. Check out some of these pics and tell me what you think....





I conclude that it is not easy to look good while you're pregnant. If you have pots of money you can probably afford to have your hair done nicely, and let your stylist and make-up artist fix what they can, but the basic shape is pretty hard to work with. Let's face it !

supermumeroni

Today I had to run for a train. I had to carry : the baby bag (medium heavy), Zack's scooter, the pram, and Zack (17kgs). We had to climb across a foot bridge at speed and run to make the train to London. I could not afford to miss it - the next one would have been 1/2 an hour later. I did it ! Even I'm impressed. I am a super mummy. I did not die.

we know the words

One of the (expected) developmental stages is that children start talking to themselves while they play. In the beginning it's only gibberish, but soon you start to recognise words, and then phrases. We're now at a point where we know the phonetics of the songs, and here's a little taste of a favourite....

Outwards & Upwards

Yesterday was a glorious day - sunny and bright AND a public holiday. We spent most of it on Blackheath kicking the ball around and flying a kite. Wonderful memories made and caught a bit of sun.

(stoopid photo won't rotate!) Zack and Keith tackle keeping the kite airborne

preggie mum holds the kite's spindle –
we let it fly high enough to use up all the string – how exhilarating.

The past week was marked by our trip, last Monday (28th April), to Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital for our fetal cardiology scan. Baby #2 came through with flying colours – all low risk. God is good ! They have great equipment there so we're pleased we went. The consultant was also happy to check the gender of the baby, and we are going to have another boy. Hooray! I get to use all the clothes again - have been faithfully washing, folding and packing things away these last 2 years, so that's great. I wonder how Grandpa Guthrie will feel to hear he has another "name bearer" on the way ?
My pelvic girdle pain is ongoing. Some days I have NO pain, and others (like the Monday we went to Great Ormond Str) I could have wept I was in so much pain. Sadly it's not like a back injury - so I don't know if it's coming or not. I'm very naughty about doing my physio exercises... I just don't believe that they're helping if they hurt so much to do. I don't have a gym mat, so I have to do them on the floor which is very uncomfortable.

Expanding our Options:
We've been looking at properties on a more serious basis, for the past few months, hoping to find a four bedroom house with a garden. There's still no clear decision although it's made us look more seriously at schools in our area, and neighbouring suburbs. Being "from the colonies" makes it quite hard, as you have no innate knowledge of the terrain, but have to go with other's opinions and what you read. We are certainly not of the opinion that "old is best" ie, Eton, Harrow, etc; nor that "local is lekker" – you should see some of the scary institutions around! I can only hope we'll make the right decision ultimately.