two weeks down : school hols

Whew! well, we've got through 2 weeks of school holidays. And they were the easy ones : I'd got myself organised and booked both boys into Enjoy-a-Ball for week 1, then Zack into the London Football Academy's holiday camp for week 2. Next week (3) we'll be going it alone, but I have quite a bit to do eg. go to the flat and get a few things done, have a playdate with friends, sort out an admin thing or two, banking for the flat, invoicing for myself, etc.
Mum arrives next Friday - Praise the Lord! Keith and I can get more sleep in the mornings. and we can do some fun things together, outings for kids, sightseeing, and more.
Week 4 we have a little holiday planned.

Food & Growth
I always say this but it's more true at the moment than usual : I cannot keep up with the food consumption. Both boys are eating an enormous amount of fruit and bread - if I buy a punnet of nectarines, they'll be demolished in one sitting. I only buy fruit in 8's, 10's and 12's now. There's no point in buying any less - I'll only have to go back tomorrow.
Calvin is shooting up and gaining a more solid frame.
Zack continues to struggle with his weight - he's just a big boy, chunky and has a great appetite (too great sometimes) - that's why the sport is so important. We keep having to monitor the access to crisps and sweet treats like cake. So many parents have them lying around and won't say "no", when asked sweetly. Zack can ask very sweetly when he wants to.

Progress
We've been making some progress with Zack as we tackle the emotional freak-outs. Bless him - it's so hard for him to reign it in, but he's taking steps in the right direction. I was talking to a lovely friend yesterday who has 3 boys and I mentioned that Wednesday was the breaking point, when I completely lost it with Zack in the morning, and she concurred. How refreshing.
We've got star charts running for both boys at the moment : Zack for reading, behaviour and keeping the hamster's cage clean; Calvin for wiping his own bottom on the loo. He needs incentivisation as he starts Reception in a month's time and he STILL calls Keith and I to do the job. [rolls eyes] Kids are so clever - he can do it at nursery, but he cannot do it at home.

 Alan Wills sits with the boys after his Olympic Archery event. We'd bumped into his Mum & Dad at Lord's, and were delighted to see them all in the park afterwards - so we posed for a photo together

Olympic Games
Last Friday night was the Opening Ceremony which both boys stayed up to watch. Calvin hardly lasted 10 minutes into the show, as it started at 9pm, but Zack kept going for almost an hour - enough time to see Mr Bean play under Simon Rattle's baton. It left the biggest impression as we had long discussions the following day about Mr Bean being 'alive', and not Johnny English or Rowan Atkinson. Too cute!
We went to see Archery on Saturday morning at dawn - we had to be there by 7:45am so it was an early start. Archery is not the most interesting spectator sport, but the boys were thrilled to just be there and were well behaved for most of it.
We have tickets to the Basketball IN the Olympic Park tomorrow morning, so it'll be an even earlier start for us. Oh dear - and today I was up at 6:15am with Calvin. I am going to be one tired mommy

smarty pants

Calvin has been taking clever pills at night - he's suddenly burst forth with words and concepts and a desire to communicate. It's too cute. Obviously this is accompanied by more strident measures in the willpower department, but nevertheless it is still a wonder to observe. He is eager to mimmick Zack and this goes as far as silly dance moves and facial expressions. Calvin can carry on with them for days, long after the novelty has worn off for his big brother. However Zack is still very tender with Calvin and is always keen for a big, outstretched arm, hug - where he can hoist Calvin off his feet. This is the sort of relationship I hope they can sustain for years to come.

star chart take 3

We're making great use of star charts. They really do work with Zack. At the moment we're taking strides with independent activities - bathing himself, dressing himself, etc. Hurrah! He's growing up and it's so lovely. He's so proud of the fact that he can.
Calvin is growing taller, and looking more like a boy. He seems to be coping better with nursery and sunday school too. He still winds up the "don't leave me" machine, but within moments of my departure he's having a blast. Keith and I are both relieved to see this transition is it's necessary and it's so easy to indulge the 'cute baby' that he is.
You try so hard to be fair in raising them, AND then you're trying to find the individual motivators for each child, the right angle on discipline, how to show them you love them and give them security, and so forth...
Man, parenting is not for the faint-hearted !

nursery to primary

Zack had his "Goodbye" Party at nursery today, altho' his last official day is only on Friday this week. There is so much excitement about going to Primary school - each child was telling me where they were going and if they had a uniform or not. Zack wore his new school shoes that we bought this morning (sorry, no photos there), and was eager to wear his uniform until it was time to go and then it was "batman mommy". Ah well, there'll be lots of time to wear a uniform and fewer occasions to be a superhero!

Charlie & Lola cups used for party tricks

"it doesn't work any more. I want a new one!"

closer to being me

I took Calvin to nursery this morning for his 4th and final session of "settling in". It meant 1/2 an hour of being with him, and then 1/2 an hour of being there without me. When I kissed him goodbye and left, he was terribly upset, but in 5 minutes time I'll go back and see that he's OK. I'm sure it'll take a bit of time because he can be very clingy when he wants to be. The steady process of becoming more independent continues - for both mum and child.
Mum on the other hand cannot wait !

totter

Calvin is now tottering along with confidence on Zack's old "push along" musical wagon thingy. He loves watching himself in the mirror and glances backwards to make sure Mummy is seeing it too. Too cute!
Yesterday morning he was playing on the carpet in our bedroom, while I was showering. He discovered a sun-beam and scampered around trying to catch it. Every time he had his back to it, it disappeared, then he'd quickly circle around so that he could see it on the carpet again.
He has a couple of new words too : Amen, and Nanny (for Tina).
This morning we were singing "Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, We're going to the moon." and he quickly started counting with his little pointer finger in the palm of the other hand, and then putting his arms in the sky at "blast off". Just so delightful to see the developmental stages.

41/14 months

Zack just loves playing "I spy" and a slight variation of it, which we call "Ten Guesses" (which means that you have to guess something he can see - or not - but he doesn't have to identify the first letter). He's really into story telling, and loves it when we make up tales about Prince Zack and Prince Calvin, or Zack the Spiderman, etc. He's excellent at filling in the gaps in familiar stories, or describing regular activities.
He is getting better and better at phonetics, and can often identify the sound that starts the word. He is writing "Z" with confidence, but struggles with the "A" and the "K". He's getting there tho. He is a pro at doing up buttons now, so pyjamas are Zack's department.
Zack has progressed so well on the toilet training. He had an upset tummy earlier in the week, so we were cleaning up mucky underpants for the first time in ages, which made me appreciate just how far he's come. The last 2 nights have also been an achievement in that he's managed to go through without wetting his nappy. This bodes well, as we'd like to get him to be dry thru the night in the near future. I think it won't be long.
Calvin is more and more mobile. You really have to keep an eye on him. Just a moment ago, I came into the study to read the BBC news site and before I could blink he'd crawled up the stairs. He is able to climb up onto our Barcelona chairs in the lounge, unassisted; altho' he is unable to get onto the sofa which is slightly higher - he gets frustrated at that. He loves playing peek-a-boo, and goes from room to room saying, "Aaaahahhhh. Ba-ba. Duhd. Daah-dee. Yeaaa. Eeehhh. Eeeett. Deh. Daaa--ahh. Aaah-ti," and the usual simpering which means, 'I want my own way Mummy!' He certainly has learnt how to crank up the volume - and lets you know when he means business. I think people are surprised when he shouts, as they know him to be so passive and chilled.
Calvin is pointing alot and saying "Dee" when he does so. He is interested in lights, switches and buttons, and wants to turn them on and off. Keeping him away from the DVD-player is proving a challenge, as he's watched his brother use it, and also being a genius, knows which button to press to open the CD tray. Eek !
Keith has kept a Father's Day card, which has the theme tune from Star Trek playing when you open it. Calvin just loves opening and closing it, opening and closing it. I must try and get it on video to upload :)

He's a genius I tell you !

Zack is totally a genius... take a look at this drawing and tell me he isn't years ahead of his age!

A scarecrow I am told... tho' it may be just a head, eyes and hair.
Still, I'm am way, way, way impressed with my son's drawing ability.

Ah, go 'n boil your 'ed

Whoop-dee-doo! Back at the health visitor again today. Calvin has gained all of 200g since last week - this means that he weighs nearly what Zack did when he was born (3.87kgs). The reason for the visit however, was the doctor's concern over Calvin's head control. As it turns out, they feel things haven't improved at all. That said, she also found fault with his breathing - as I've mentioned before, he has had a cold for sometime (in fact we all have), which makes his breathing quite laboured when he drinks milk. When he's relaxed, his breathing is just fine. She said that what worried her was that he may have a complication with his larynx - a condition she had seen before in slightly prem babies. And then the real gem: he has mottled skin ! She wanted to know if his skin had always been like that. I said yes, and that I had taken it for healthy fat. She did the pressure test to see if his circulation had been affected by the dread-mottled-ness. All fine!
I am completely defensive about all of this. I have a fat rant at Keith after each doctor's appointment. What makes me mad is that it is ALL negative news. Everything that gets discussed is under-this, behind-that, not developed-the next thing. There's not one mention of what's going right. If I wasn't a second time mum, I'd be a bit suicidal by now, in fact, I would've checked myself into the hospital to get this all sorted out - once and for all.
Apparently we'll get a paediatric referral if things haven't improved with his head-control, next time. Maybe that isn't a bad thing.

"Yesterday" – discussing time with Zack
Zack is growing more and more curious about time. He now often asks me "what's the time Mummy?", and when I pick him up from play-school, he'll say "it's not late ?". Our favourite though, is the use of the word "yesterday": Zack uses it for all things past tense. This could mean an hour ago, earlier today, yesterday (for real), last week, or even last month. It's really cute, but can be helluv confusing for anyone who's listening to Zack's story of what's transpired in his recent experience. It seems like yesterday was the busiest day in any human being's life, when in fact, it's just the concertina effect of time.

Breast vs. Bottle
I'm feeling a bit despondent about breast-feeding. I'm trying as hard as I can to keep Calvin on the breast, but he finds the bottle pretty easy to feed from (even tho' I'm using those 0+months teats), and loses interest in the breast after more than 20/25 mins. Sometimes it doesn't feel like he's completely drained it either. I keep thinking I should go back to breast-only, and that way my milk supply will pick up and stay up. In the current situation I feel like my milk production is slowing down as the formula-use continues (with no end in sight because of the weight-gain issues). Hmmm... what to do ?

we know the words

One of the (expected) developmental stages is that children start talking to themselves while they play. In the beginning it's only gibberish, but soon you start to recognise words, and then phrases. We're now at a point where we know the phonetics of the songs, and here's a little taste of a favourite....

It was a white day

The other day, while climbing down the stairs to the front door, Zack invited me to examine the walls, the banister and the ceiling, with the revelation "Mommy - walls white", and then "roof white" etcetera etcetera. This is quite a big step in my books; up until now he's happily pointed out blue, green and red, but seldom yellow, and never white or black. These days we're getting "blue dustbin", "red car" and more. Nothing like a bit of colour identification to broaden the repertoire. In addition, he's starting to say funny, commonly used phrases like, "see you later", before toddling off to the lounge.

He is crazy about his scooter: it goes to bed with him. Since visiting friends in Surbiton last weekend, he has gained so much confidence as he scooted for more than a mile and a half, unassisted. His stability is vastly improved, though he still favours one foot for pushing. He is slowly learning how to turn the thing - a much more complicated manouvre, and a few weeks away I would guess. He tends to stop, pick it up, and put it down in the direction he wants to travel in. Negotiating fellow pedestrians is more like hit-and-run.

For his birthday, Zack was given a fabulous puzzle of pictures from A to Z. It has been such a hit - the right thing at the right time. He loves it and builds it at least twice a day. He's learnt to identify certain pairings which brings him closer to completing the whole task. Knowing colours also seems to have helped, because he'll say to me "pink one" or "blue one" for pieces he's looking for. It's been an opportunity for him to learn what things look like eg. yo-yo and guitar.

Being a boy, Zack is constantly hurtling around at breakneck speed. I didn't realise little boys were quite so rough & tumble. We went to the playground last week and Zack was drawn to the merry-go-round, (always a death trap - I don't know a single adult who hasn't had a bad experience on one !). Three older children were going around on it, and Zack kept shouting "stop" and then getting on, but then trying to get off before it stopped again. Necessarily it meant he got dragged around, or fell off. Thankfully, these days, playgrounds have "all weather" surfacing which is cushioned, unlike the gravel, concrete or sand that we all grew up with - so no bleeding. It isn't a deterent however - he kept going back for more pain, even though we'd had more than three screaming-crying moments. After a while you get "moedeloos" and give in to the stubborn will of those who will not listen. So that meant more falling down. In the end I dragged him off, and he proceeded to have a major tantrum. He climbed up some seating, and then fell backwards through a gap in it. I nearly had a heart-attack. But he was fine, just crying (more). I tell you, kids can give you grey hair just watching their antics. We went home after that - I'd had enough, even if Zack hadn't.

still to write
Sleeping - how to get him to sleep in his own bed / freedom of mobility / stalling techniques

Pregnant Progress:
I'm feeling fine most of the time, but struggling with heartburn and a condition very common amongst preggie mums - Pelvic Girdle Pain. Not much I can do about it really, altho' I have been for physio. It's funny, but I had tried all the things she's got me doing now - knee rolling, knee hugging, and it only seemed to make it worse. Ontop of that, I've been given a maternity belt (a really wide piece of heavy duty clothing elastic, with velcro fasteners which you're supposed to tighten around your pelvic girdle), which will theoretically offer my pelvis more support, and minimize twisting and the other nasties, that make it ache so much. I'm supposed to wear it when walking.

Who dat ?

I feel like my emotions have run the full gamut of late, from delight and joy at the things Zack says and does, to pure desperation when he is 'contrarian' and will not do anything you ask him to. This coupled with the announcement that we are expecting our second child in September, means that I really am not the most rational being in E14 (our postal code) right now.
I was very grateful when chatting to an acquaintance 2 weeks ago, that her son was also a head-banger, and now a biter. She was very sympathetic about it and also very relaxed, which gave me hope for the future. I know it's 'just a phase', but that's no comfort when you're right in it, so talking to someone who's been through it makes me feel a little better.
Zack's latest thing is to say "who dat?" when he hears a noise outside / in another room. It is just too cute. He'll often suggest some answers too, but they're pretty repetitive, "Daddy?" or "Kelly?" or "Nana?". Another thing that happens all the time is him saying "Amy's house" and now "Harriett's house", when we're in the car - like he's telling me where we're going. The truth is that Amy lives in Australia - which I've explained numerous times (with map), and we visit Harriett on Thursdays. It's amazing actually that he already associates directions in the car with a destination.
Another association that he's got sorted out, is that waiters or waitresses bring apple juice. So when we're in a restaurant with friends, Zack will catch the eye of the passing server and say "Apple juice" in an expectant kind of way. At this point, I'll get the enquiring look from aforementioned staff member. Then Keith and I will laugh. Remarkable little people.

goggaland

Bugs are referred to as "gogga's" in South Africa, and Zack has taken to the word "goggo" with glee. In fact, so much so, that he calls everything that vaguely resembles a bug, a goggo. I think it's a zulu word. Anyway, it means that our world is teaming with the little critters. The funniest incident in recent weeks was Zack approaching me with something in his mouth. He was holding 'it' behind his bottom teeth, with his tongue. On closer investigation I realised it was the trilobite I'd seen crawling across the TV unit earlier on. EEK !


Zack was given this beautiful toy monkey yesterday by one of Keith's work colleagues - it looks like Curious George. Zack immediately became attached to his new friend, feeding it breakfast and allowing him to 'suck' his dummy. (- Not sure why I think it's a 'he')
Sometimes I feel that I'm lagging behind as a parent - that my child is ready for greater heights, greater challenges and I'm still catching up with an already-passed developmental stage. What to do ? I don't really have the time to be playing child-development-specialist on top of all my other duties. Perhaps a book would help me anticipate a bit more. Hmm...

Aside:
Zack persists in his biting. It is almost always in frustration now, and hardly ever in excitement. Keith and I are still being firm, but he can get so strung out sometimes that he starts thrashing out and trying to hit you if you won't let him sink his teeth in. I find the only way to deal with it, is to walk away. I won't tolerate biting. And I won't tolerate the hitting either. Zack has to find ways of dealing with his frustration. I find if I try and console him, by approaching him and saying, "X is really frustrating, isn't it ?", this only illicits physical assault. Not quite the outcome I'd hoped for.

Speech development is coming along but it's occurred to me that the dummy-sucking during the day is stunting his speaking. Keith and I agreed a while back that we should only have the dummy/pacifier at night, but when he was so sick last week, we were giving in as he needed to be comforted. Tough call.

My mate Yolande said she never wanted to be a No-Mommy, but I see Keith and I at this stage in Zack's life and we're constantly saying "No! Zack!". I guess it's the phase we're in - approaching the two's and all the willfulness that goes with it. You have to set boundaries all the time, but it can be relentless.