Ah, go 'n boil your 'ed

Whoop-dee-doo! Back at the health visitor again today. Calvin has gained all of 200g since last week - this means that he weighs nearly what Zack did when he was born (3.87kgs). The reason for the visit however, was the doctor's concern over Calvin's head control. As it turns out, they feel things haven't improved at all. That said, she also found fault with his breathing - as I've mentioned before, he has had a cold for sometime (in fact we all have), which makes his breathing quite laboured when he drinks milk. When he's relaxed, his breathing is just fine. She said that what worried her was that he may have a complication with his larynx - a condition she had seen before in slightly prem babies. And then the real gem: he has mottled skin ! She wanted to know if his skin had always been like that. I said yes, and that I had taken it for healthy fat. She did the pressure test to see if his circulation had been affected by the dread-mottled-ness. All fine!
I am completely defensive about all of this. I have a fat rant at Keith after each doctor's appointment. What makes me mad is that it is ALL negative news. Everything that gets discussed is under-this, behind-that, not developed-the next thing. There's not one mention of what's going right. If I wasn't a second time mum, I'd be a bit suicidal by now, in fact, I would've checked myself into the hospital to get this all sorted out - once and for all.
Apparently we'll get a paediatric referral if things haven't improved with his head-control, next time. Maybe that isn't a bad thing.

"Yesterday" – discussing time with Zack
Zack is growing more and more curious about time. He now often asks me "what's the time Mummy?", and when I pick him up from play-school, he'll say "it's not late ?". Our favourite though, is the use of the word "yesterday": Zack uses it for all things past tense. This could mean an hour ago, earlier today, yesterday (for real), last week, or even last month. It's really cute, but can be helluv confusing for anyone who's listening to Zack's story of what's transpired in his recent experience. It seems like yesterday was the busiest day in any human being's life, when in fact, it's just the concertina effect of time.

Breast vs. Bottle
I'm feeling a bit despondent about breast-feeding. I'm trying as hard as I can to keep Calvin on the breast, but he finds the bottle pretty easy to feed from (even tho' I'm using those 0+months teats), and loses interest in the breast after more than 20/25 mins. Sometimes it doesn't feel like he's completely drained it either. I keep thinking I should go back to breast-only, and that way my milk supply will pick up and stay up. In the current situation I feel like my milk production is slowing down as the formula-use continues (with no end in sight because of the weight-gain issues). Hmmm... what to do ?

weight wait

They weighed Calvin again today, and he hasn't gained any weight in the last week - still only 2.4kgs. A breast-feeding specialist is going to visit tomorrow to see how I'm doing and offer some advice. It seems like the general opinion is to keep feeding, see if he'll take the other breast too, top up with EBM (expressed breast-milk) where necessary. That's fine with me. At this point though, I AM NOT getting my knickers in a knot about whether there's enough milk, etc. If push comes to shove, I will supplement with formula. I don't mind at all.
Something we didn't discuss which may have a bearing on all this, is that Calvin was circumcised last Thursday, and he's had a very snuffly nose / cold, which may have affected his ability and desire to feed. In all other respects he is doing well - sleeping well, feeding well, lovely and alert when he is awake during the late afternoon and early evening, keeping us on the hop with nappy-changing.
I'll say this though, it's quite a reality check when you change a little (breast-fed) baby poo, and then have to do Zack's full blown stinkers within 10 minutes of one another. I can't wait for the elder to be potty trained (sigh). Roll on that day !