feeding the little ones

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Ah, go 'n boil your 'ed

Whoop-dee-doo! Back at the health visitor again today. Calvin has gained all of 200g since last week - this means that he weighs nearly what Zack did when he was born (3.87kgs). The reason for the visit however, was the doctor's concern over Calvin's head control. As it turns out, they feel things haven't improved at all. That said, she also found fault with his breathing - as I've mentioned before, he has had a cold for sometime (in fact we all have), which makes his breathing quite laboured when he drinks milk. When he's relaxed, his breathing is just fine. She said that what worried her was that he may have a complication with his larynx - a condition she had seen before in slightly prem babies. And then the real gem: he has mottled skin ! She wanted to know if his skin had always been like that. I said yes, and that I had taken it for healthy fat. She did the pressure test to see if his circulation had been affected by the dread-mottled-ness. All fine!
I am completely defensive about all of this. I have a fat rant at Keith after each doctor's appointment. What makes me mad is that it is ALL negative news. Everything that gets discussed is under-this, behind-that, not developed-the next thing. There's not one mention of what's going right. If I wasn't a second time mum, I'd be a bit suicidal by now, in fact, I would've checked myself into the hospital to get this all sorted out - once and for all.
Apparently we'll get a paediatric referral if things haven't improved with his head-control, next time. Maybe that isn't a bad thing.

"Yesterday" – discussing time with Zack
Zack is growing more and more curious about time. He now often asks me "what's the time Mummy?", and when I pick him up from play-school, he'll say "it's not late ?". Our favourite though, is the use of the word "yesterday": Zack uses it for all things past tense. This could mean an hour ago, earlier today, yesterday (for real), last week, or even last month. It's really cute, but can be helluv confusing for anyone who's listening to Zack's story of what's transpired in his recent experience. It seems like yesterday was the busiest day in any human being's life, when in fact, it's just the concertina effect of time.

Breast vs. Bottle
I'm feeling a bit despondent about breast-feeding. I'm trying as hard as I can to keep Calvin on the breast, but he finds the bottle pretty easy to feed from (even tho' I'm using those 0+months teats), and loses interest in the breast after more than 20/25 mins. Sometimes it doesn't feel like he's completely drained it either. I keep thinking I should go back to breast-only, and that way my milk supply will pick up and stay up. In the current situation I feel like my milk production is slowing down as the formula-use continues (with no end in sight because of the weight-gain issues). Hmmm... what to do ?

the ordeal, part 2

Keith was ushered into an adjoining room once I was 'under', and within 10 minutes was aware that Calvin had been born. Obviously I have no memory of what happened, but he tells me that they had to get Calvin breathing and had him under the lights for a while, but he was soon passed to Keith. I'd lost about 3,5 litres of blood (freaks me out, just thinking about it!), so they had to transfuse about 4 units as well as giving me some platelets. Apparently I came out of theatre after 10pm, so it was more than 2 hours. I'm very grateful to the surgeon - she DID do a good job and I have a thin, red line below my current belly (overhang). There weren't really any stitches to see, they were the disolving type. I was pretty exhausted for most of Sunday and don't remember much.
On Monday morning, an old friend of mine, Pohgek, popped in to visit (she'd expected to find me in the antenatal ward, so was a bit surprised to find I'd had the baby) and I was horribly emotional when she walked in - bursting into tears and sobbing. But once I'd had my little moment, I felt much better and it was great to have company.
By Monday afternoon tho' I was feeling much, much better and on Monday night at 11pm they rolled me out of ICU/ HDU and to the post natal ward. I was pretty stoopid tho' and didn't take any pain-killers, so that when I woke up at around 2 or 3 am, I was in A-G-O-N-Y, and had a tiny baby to feed. Thankfully the midwife popped in, took a bottle of formula and fed Calvin while I sat in the bathroom sobbing from pain. Yeah ! the joys.
Tuesday I felt a bit better...
Wednesday I was ready to go home.

Unite against Mushy Food !

Zack has turned a corner - altho it may be part of his latest wingy, diaroeaHHHH, I hate having my nappy changed, phase. Anyway, he just won't eat mushy food anymore. I think he's campaigning to get me to move forward in the diet thang. "Enough of the mush mum!", watch me press my lips together and turn my face away coz I'm not interested.

It's not a bad thing. Us adults can be pretty thick or pretty lazy when it comes to understanding what these little people are ready for. I think I probably fall into both categories as it's so easy to pull some stuff out of a bottle, add some nice fresh veg or a piece or two of chicken and voila! a delicious mushy meal. Not so.

he's growing up!