Mummy and Daddy are zombies at the moment - Calvin is waking up twice and even three times a night to have a wail. Mostly I get up, but I'm getting to the point where he can just cry if I've been up twice before. I feel bad for the neighbours, but I need a bit of pity too. Poor Keith is also feeling haggard with the sleepless nights (and he's suffering from insomnia) and all the stresses and strains at work. His plate is pretty full right now.
I'm really not sure what's causing the wakefulness, but all the boxes are ticked - clean nappy, not thirsty, dummy nearby, warm, quiet. Either he's lonely or he's bored. We are going to move his cot into Zack's room so that we solve the former, but the latter is something that will have to find it's own way out because neither Keith nor I are entertainers at 1am, 4am or 5:30am. No way!
Zack and Calvin went off to Little Dinosaurs yesterday, and when I got home I heard that Zack had bitten a two-year-old. Sheesh! How long has it been since he last bit a child ? Ages and ages. He had rushed upstairs when I was talking to Tina about it, and I found him hiding underneath his bed. I went up and sat on the floor and encouraged him to come out. He was obviously afraid of what I was going to say, and apologized immediately. Now that he's older, it's easier to ask, 'Why?'. The other child was hitting him in the face. I reminded him that he needs to talk to an adult. Biting is not an option.
Calvin, Zack and I went off to the shoe shop on Tuesday and got new shoes for both of them. It is remarkable how quickly children's feet grow. Zack is now an 11, so needed to say farewell to his Gola's. I replaced them with a pair of funky white Sketchers. Calvin got his first pair of walking shoes - little navy-blue, leather ones. He seems happy in them, altho' he is reverting to crawling every now and then which is understandable.
I took Calvin to the physio on Monday morning at 9am for an assessment. Considering he'd been walking for nearly a week, I felt that my fears had been allayed and I really didn't need to be there. As it turns out she was happy to see us, but confirmed just that - he is doing well developmentally and doesn't have any issues of concern. That little outward turning foot of his will soon be straighter with the shoes and constant walking.
Showing posts with label biting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label biting. Show all posts
Friday, May 14, 2010
Monday, March 10, 2008
Who dat ?
I feel like my emotions have run the full gamut of late, from delight and joy at the things Zack says and does, to pure desperation when he is 'contrarian' and will not do anything you ask him to. This coupled with the announcement that we are expecting our second child in September, means that I really am not the most rational being in E14 (our postal code) right now.
I was very grateful when chatting to an acquaintance 2 weeks ago, that her son was also a head-banger, and now a biter. She was very sympathetic about it and also very relaxed, which gave me hope for the future. I know it's 'just a phase', but that's no comfort when you're right in it, so talking to someone who's been through it makes me feel a little better.
Zack's latest thing is to say "who dat?" when he hears a noise outside / in another room. It is just too cute. He'll often suggest some answers too, but they're pretty repetitive, "Daddy?" or "Kelly?" or "Nana?". Another thing that happens all the time is him saying "Amy's house" and now "Harriett's house", when we're in the car - like he's telling me where we're going. The truth is that Amy lives in Australia - which I've explained numerous times (with map), and we visit Harriett on Thursdays. It's amazing actually that he already associates directions in the car with a destination.
Another association that he's got sorted out, is that waiters or waitresses bring apple juice. So when we're in a restaurant with friends, Zack will catch the eye of the passing server and say "Apple juice" in an expectant kind of way. At this point, I'll get the enquiring look from aforementioned staff member. Then Keith and I will laugh. Remarkable little people.
I was very grateful when chatting to an acquaintance 2 weeks ago, that her son was also a head-banger, and now a biter. She was very sympathetic about it and also very relaxed, which gave me hope for the future. I know it's 'just a phase', but that's no comfort when you're right in it, so talking to someone who's been through it makes me feel a little better.
Zack's latest thing is to say "who dat?" when he hears a noise outside / in another room. It is just too cute. He'll often suggest some answers too, but they're pretty repetitive, "Daddy?" or "Kelly?" or "Nana?". Another thing that happens all the time is him saying "Amy's house" and now "Harriett's house", when we're in the car - like he's telling me where we're going. The truth is that Amy lives in Australia - which I've explained numerous times (with map), and we visit Harriett on Thursdays. It's amazing actually that he already associates directions in the car with a destination.
Another association that he's got sorted out, is that waiters or waitresses bring apple juice. So when we're in a restaurant with friends, Zack will catch the eye of the passing server and say "Apple juice" in an expectant kind of way. At this point, I'll get the enquiring look from aforementioned staff member. Then Keith and I will laugh. Remarkable little people.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
so much
You can well imagine how I'm feeling with more than 8 weeks of development to catch up on here on the blog. Zack has grown and matured so much - he is STILL biting (worse than before but more rarely), but knows how to be completely charming, flash that smile, work the room. He can be very affectionate when he wants to be, yet he also knows how to wield his will. He wishes everything could be his way, but ain't that the way of toddlers ? It seems like time is rushing away, as he gets more confident on playground equipment, speaks more, understands more (uh-oh), and sleeps better at night (thank the Good Lord)! He is not a baby any more and having weaned him of his dummy while in NZ, we feel like most of the hard stuff is done. Potty training is still a hope and a dream - altho' he's quite curious he has no interest in sitting on the toilet or a potty, or anything. He can name it, and sometimes tell me when it's happening but that's as far as we've gone. The general consensus is that they get there in their own time, so I'm not pushing. What's worse : a 4-year-old in nappies, or a 4-year-old with a dummy ? Attending nursery is going to cure Zack of the former because in the UK children have to be potty-trained to attend school. We've ticked off the latter, so I suppose we're on the road, one way or the other. I do pity parents with school children, with dummy in mouth, being pushed in a pram, but there you go. We all make choices.
I thought it was going to much harder than it was.
Ah, the joy of antipodean summers – the inflatable pool / castle
includes hours of fun at no charge, weather virtually guaranteed.
Ah, the joy of antipodean summers – the inflatable pool / castleincludes hours of fun at no charge, weather virtually guaranteed.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Blimey
The words are just tumbling out, but they're matched with the emerging will. Zack is stubborn and knows exactly what he wants - how he inherited those traits from us, I do not know? Latest "strop techniques" are slapping, pinching, and the newest of the new - hitting his head against whatever's nearby. It's fine when it's your chest, but not funny when it's your throat, neck or face. He has started biting his own hand again, when he can't get his way in public.
I am incredibly torn about the whole dummy issue at present. I take a firm line during the day, and don't let him have it unless he's sleeping. But the truth is that he sleeps at nursery without it, Mondays and Tuesdays. I do give in when he's going off the deep-end and we need to be somewhere (public) for an extended period of time - if I don't, any kind of social interaction becomes untenable, and I feel "ruled" by a beligerent 20 month old. The truth is that it REALLY calms him down, and will change the situation completely, if he has it. I can see that the Demise of the Dum must come. Perhaps sooner rather than later eh ?
Today we said "mango" for the first time, and we've been spending alot of time on "look" too. I have said "do this, NOW" alot this week, so that's been incorporated too. Altho' saying the word does not equate with obedience, or a sense of urgency.
I have bought a book on development so that I can keep pace with things for the next few years. It's entitled "Bright Start", and is broad in it's scope. After reading the first few chapters on Zack's age group, I was very encouraged by their stand on 'sticking to your guns' (ie. boundaries), being the best gift you can give your child. Zack doesn't like "No" one little bit. A friend of mine is currently working in a social services position where they remove children at risk, from their families, and she said that most of the teenagers she deals with who have huge problems have been allowed to rule their families from day 1 - no boundaries only leads to disaster.
Are you afraid to parent ?
It has occurred to me tho' that living here in the UK, creates its own kinds of phobias. You are always told by "authority figures" (sometimes an author, sometimes a govt child-care worker, sometimes a TV guru, sometimes by another mum, very often tho' it's source-less) that you aren't equipped for this job : You don't really know how to feed your child, discipline your child, raise your child, x your child, y your child. As a result, most parents, who are already feeling decidedly skittish sans-sleep, are driven to the mires of insecurity. "Yes, you're right," they cry, "I am rubbish at all this. Please won't you sell me the means to do it." [Ka-ching!]
Talking to a mate who has 2 kids and is raising them on the continent, it was mentioned that it is not out of the ordinary for a parent to leave their child sleeping at home in the evening, and quickly nip out for 20 minutes to the newsagent, or a pub. Yes, and that means exactly what you're all thinking : the child is at home ALONE. Now, in the UK, you would be imprisoned for that. Funny how social conventions change, and nowadays are underpinned by this culture of fear:
Keith: In each of these scenarios, the consequences for our lives (ie. the loss of a child) is SO great, that any discussion of the realistic probabilities is overshadowed by emotive debate. We regularly put our children into situations (eg. letting them play on a swing) where the probability of the loss of their life is far higher than the above scenarios, but because these are the ones that make news headlines, we react irrationally (with fear) to them.
Toilet Training begins:
We recently bought a toilet seat and step. Zack is like clockwork in the evenings, and will make a poo straight after dinner. We are yet to catch him in time to deposit it in the loo, but he is learning that it goes into the toilet and then flushes it away with a 'bye, bye' to boot! I am encouraged by his awareness. We may get him started in the next little while - won't that be wonderful ?
I am incredibly torn about the whole dummy issue at present. I take a firm line during the day, and don't let him have it unless he's sleeping. But the truth is that he sleeps at nursery without it, Mondays and Tuesdays. I do give in when he's going off the deep-end and we need to be somewhere (public) for an extended period of time - if I don't, any kind of social interaction becomes untenable, and I feel "ruled" by a beligerent 20 month old. The truth is that it REALLY calms him down, and will change the situation completely, if he has it. I can see that the Demise of the Dum must come. Perhaps sooner rather than later eh ?
Today we said "mango" for the first time, and we've been spending alot of time on "look" too. I have said "do this, NOW" alot this week, so that's been incorporated too. Altho' saying the word does not equate with obedience, or a sense of urgency.
I have bought a book on development so that I can keep pace with things for the next few years. It's entitled "Bright Start", and is broad in it's scope. After reading the first few chapters on Zack's age group, I was very encouraged by their stand on 'sticking to your guns' (ie. boundaries), being the best gift you can give your child. Zack doesn't like "No" one little bit. A friend of mine is currently working in a social services position where they remove children at risk, from their families, and she said that most of the teenagers she deals with who have huge problems have been allowed to rule their families from day 1 - no boundaries only leads to disaster.
Are you afraid to parent ?
It has occurred to me tho' that living here in the UK, creates its own kinds of phobias. You are always told by "authority figures" (sometimes an author, sometimes a govt child-care worker, sometimes a TV guru, sometimes by another mum, very often tho' it's source-less) that you aren't equipped for this job : You don't really know how to feed your child, discipline your child, raise your child, x your child, y your child. As a result, most parents, who are already feeling decidedly skittish sans-sleep, are driven to the mires of insecurity. "Yes, you're right," they cry, "I am rubbish at all this. Please won't you sell me the means to do it." [Ka-ching!]
Talking to a mate who has 2 kids and is raising them on the continent, it was mentioned that it is not out of the ordinary for a parent to leave their child sleeping at home in the evening, and quickly nip out for 20 minutes to the newsagent, or a pub. Yes, and that means exactly what you're all thinking : the child is at home ALONE. Now, in the UK, you would be imprisoned for that. Funny how social conventions change, and nowadays are underpinned by this culture of fear:
- There are paedophiles everywhere – I can't turn away from my child in a park
- Someone might break in and take him/ her – I can't leave my child asleep in the car, in my garage
- I can't nip down to the station and pick up my husband (because it's late and freezing) - there might be a fire at home, and there'd be no-one to rescue our child
Keith: In each of these scenarios, the consequences for our lives (ie. the loss of a child) is SO great, that any discussion of the realistic probabilities is overshadowed by emotive debate. We regularly put our children into situations (eg. letting them play on a swing) where the probability of the loss of their life is far higher than the above scenarios, but because these are the ones that make news headlines, we react irrationally (with fear) to them.
Toilet Training begins:
We recently bought a toilet seat and step. Zack is like clockwork in the evenings, and will make a poo straight after dinner. We are yet to catch him in time to deposit it in the loo, but he is learning that it goes into the toilet and then flushes it away with a 'bye, bye' to boot! I am encouraged by his awareness. We may get him started in the next little while - won't that be wonderful ?
Monday, October 29, 2007
goggaland
Bugs are referred to as "gogga's" in South Africa, and Zack has taken to the word "goggo" with glee. In fact, so much so, that he calls everything that vaguely resembles a bug, a goggo. I think it's a zulu word. Anyway, it means that our world is teaming with the little critters. The funniest incident in recent weeks was Zack approaching me with something in his mouth. He was holding 'it' behind his bottom teeth, with his tongue. On closer investigation I realised it was the trilobite I'd seen crawling across the TV unit earlier on. EEK !
Zack was given this beautiful toy monkey yesterday by one of Keith's work colleagues - it looks like Curious George. Zack immediately became attached to his new friend, feeding it breakfast and allowing him to 'suck' his dummy. (- Not sure why I think it's a 'he')
Sometimes I feel that I'm lagging behind as a parent - that my child is ready for greater heights, greater challenges and I'm still catching up with an already-passed developmental stage. What to do ? I don't really have the time to be playing child-development-specialist on top of all my other duties. Perhaps a book would help me anticipate a bit more. Hmm...
Aside:
Zack persists in his biting. It is almost always in frustration now, and hardly ever in excitement. Keith and I are still being firm, but he can get so strung out sometimes that he starts thrashing out and trying to hit you if you won't let him sink his teeth in. I find the only way to deal with it, is to walk away. I won't tolerate biting. And I won't tolerate the hitting either. Zack has to find ways of dealing with his frustration. I find if I try and console him, by approaching him and saying, "X is really frustrating, isn't it ?", this only illicits physical assault. Not quite the outcome I'd hoped for.
Speech development is coming along but it's occurred to me that the dummy-sucking during the day is stunting his speaking. Keith and I agreed a while back that we should only have the dummy/pacifier at night, but when he was so sick last week, we were giving in as he needed to be comforted. Tough call.
My mate Yolande said she never wanted to be a No-Mommy, but I see Keith and I at this stage in Zack's life and we're constantly saying "No! Zack!". I guess it's the phase we're in - approaching the two's and all the willfulness that goes with it. You have to set boundaries all the time, but it can be relentless.
Zack was given this beautiful toy monkey yesterday by one of Keith's work colleagues - it looks like Curious George. Zack immediately became attached to his new friend, feeding it breakfast and allowing him to 'suck' his dummy. (- Not sure why I think it's a 'he')
Sometimes I feel that I'm lagging behind as a parent - that my child is ready for greater heights, greater challenges and I'm still catching up with an already-passed developmental stage. What to do ? I don't really have the time to be playing child-development-specialist on top of all my other duties. Perhaps a book would help me anticipate a bit more. Hmm...
Aside:
Zack persists in his biting. It is almost always in frustration now, and hardly ever in excitement. Keith and I are still being firm, but he can get so strung out sometimes that he starts thrashing out and trying to hit you if you won't let him sink his teeth in. I find the only way to deal with it, is to walk away. I won't tolerate biting. And I won't tolerate the hitting either. Zack has to find ways of dealing with his frustration. I find if I try and console him, by approaching him and saying, "X is really frustrating, isn't it ?", this only illicits physical assault. Not quite the outcome I'd hoped for.
Speech development is coming along but it's occurred to me that the dummy-sucking during the day is stunting his speaking. Keith and I agreed a while back that we should only have the dummy/pacifier at night, but when he was so sick last week, we were giving in as he needed to be comforted. Tough call.
My mate Yolande said she never wanted to be a No-Mommy, but I see Keith and I at this stage in Zack's life and we're constantly saying "No! Zack!". I guess it's the phase we're in - approaching the two's and all the willfulness that goes with it. You have to set boundaries all the time, but it can be relentless.
Monday, October 15, 2007
vocal explosion
Zack is just talking, talking, talking. It's as if he's suddenly getting his mouth around all the things that he's been listening to for months. We've been making notes of the news words for a while, but in the last few days it's just exploded. Isn't language an amazing thing ? I was watching my friend Elly's little boy a few months agao and was astonished at how he mimicked her every word, and now Zack is doing it. Of course there's heaps of babbling going on, but for the rest it's great fun.
Favourite word is still 'car'. But that's how it goes with boys !
The Aside:
Coming back to London was a shock to the system. We had a few rough nights and Zack is becoming more and more head-strong. He bit me hard on Wednesday morning at our mum's group, because I wouldn't let him have a 4th biscuit. Lots of screaming and stamping of feet, and then when I confronted him and said "no", he bit me. I smacked him in front of all the mummies. Yesterday we were in Hyde Park, in a playground, and 2 mums came to blows because one's child was being picked on by another (with absent mum). Heaven help you if you raise your voice, let alone your hand to some kid who is pounding yours. What a crazy world we live in! Jackie was saying how strange it is that we are so involved in our children's lives (stimulating them, educating them, entertaining them), compared to our mums who chased us outside to play, and our grandparents who were even less involved (by all accounts - see ITV's new parenting series, Bringing Up Baby). There has definitely been a trend in the last 100 years towards tighter bonds with one's children. The down-side is tho', that we don't trust anyone with or near our kids. There are paedo's everywhere, we're told. Stranger Danger! etc. etc. It puts so much more strain on mums who are already collapsing under the load of domestic duties, and dad's under the strain of providing, supporting. Yadda Yadda. And there isn't always someone to listen to your ranting and moaning. Parenting is not an easy road. It's bloody hard work.
Favourite word is still 'car'. But that's how it goes with boys !
The Aside:
Coming back to London was a shock to the system. We had a few rough nights and Zack is becoming more and more head-strong. He bit me hard on Wednesday morning at our mum's group, because I wouldn't let him have a 4th biscuit. Lots of screaming and stamping of feet, and then when I confronted him and said "no", he bit me. I smacked him in front of all the mummies. Yesterday we were in Hyde Park, in a playground, and 2 mums came to blows because one's child was being picked on by another (with absent mum). Heaven help you if you raise your voice, let alone your hand to some kid who is pounding yours. What a crazy world we live in! Jackie was saying how strange it is that we are so involved in our children's lives (stimulating them, educating them, entertaining them), compared to our mums who chased us outside to play, and our grandparents who were even less involved (by all accounts - see ITV's new parenting series, Bringing Up Baby). There has definitely been a trend in the last 100 years towards tighter bonds with one's children. The down-side is tho', that we don't trust anyone with or near our kids. There are paedo's everywhere, we're told. Stranger Danger! etc. etc. It puts so much more strain on mums who are already collapsing under the load of domestic duties, and dad's under the strain of providing, supporting. Yadda Yadda. And there isn't always someone to listen to your ranting and moaning. Parenting is not an easy road. It's bloody hard work.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Och Aye Wee Laddie
Brushing teeth with the first brush we could get our hands on.
Our home in the Highlands for a few days in September - Gairloch
Zack and I catching up on some sleep after lunch.
Wonderful time with Pia & Geoff
We've just spent ten wet days in the Scottish Highlands. Zack made friends with man and wee beasties alike, and seems to have mastered a few new words. To the current vocabularly we can add,'Juice, Duck, Ladder, Down, Pughhghgghghg (the sound of a car crashing), Car, Bus'. It's amazing actually, how much he understands these days. His favourite of all time tho' is 'Car' - said with such conviction that it's hard not to respond. Bless his little socks.
New frustration mechanism is biting his own hand - usually the right one. So he has lots of marks on the top of his hand. Oh dear me.
He has so enjoyed the time with my mum - I discovered them in bed this morning reading Richard Scarry classics, with loads of pointing and "Car" exclamations.
This evening, sadly, is 'farewell Nanna'. It's all gone by so quickly.
Zack tells us all about Scotland from his guidebook
Monday, July 30, 2007
Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud
We took ourselves off to Womad for the weekend. Yes, it had been raining, and yes it was very muddy. We slept in muddy clothes as there were very limited showering facilities. It's our first camping trip with young Zack and he seemed to cope quite well - it helped that there were lots of children to play with. We joined Dean & Emma Willars and their two girls, and friends of theirs James & Louisa with their 3, Frederick, Ozzy and Harriet. The only challenge was keeping Zack out of the food supplies. He thinks his appetite for fruit is insatiable, but I don't want to push it.
Otherwise he is growing every day. He still has a hearty appetite (I think I've already mentioned that), is walking more confidently, expanding his vocabulary, and still biting and pinching out of frustration. He is FINALLY getting over his awful nappy rash. He loves books and The Gruffalo in particular.
Andrew & Geraldine have been visiting us from Sydney, with their two children, so Zack has had mates to play with every day for almost 3 weeks. A challenge for the parents who have to be referees most of the time.
I think it's time to go looking for new shoes. Dem feet, dey grow too quick!
Big smiles as we're off daddy's shoulders. It's such fun running around in the dry mud and eating it!
"OK. So we've eaten our vegetarian lunch, and now I'm tired. I think I'll just nap right here".
Otherwise he is growing every day. He still has a hearty appetite (I think I've already mentioned that), is walking more confidently, expanding his vocabulary, and still biting and pinching out of frustration. He is FINALLY getting over his awful nappy rash. He loves books and The Gruffalo in particular.
Andrew & Geraldine have been visiting us from Sydney, with their two children, so Zack has had mates to play with every day for almost 3 weeks. A challenge for the parents who have to be referees most of the time.
I think it's time to go looking for new shoes. Dem feet, dey grow too quick!
Saturday, May 12, 2007
the itchy and scratchy show
Zack is in a new phase... he likes to pinch you when he's frustrated. And he's biting too,
In addition he's head-banging quite often, especially when he's tired or frustrated. He'll hit his head on anything sold (even my chest) and do it again and again, wailing all the time. He won't desist and the expression on his face says, 'mummy it's your fault this is sore'.
We can't talk, so we can't say what the problem is.
We have not been sleeping well at all. Zack has been up every few hours through the night. We're taking it in turn to get up and see to him, and yes, he was running a temperature yesterday and this morning - probably teething. I'm guessing it's a jet-lag/ body clock thing and he's got it all mixed up. He is going to bed on time, but he'll wake around 01h00 and wail, and then it starts sometimes up to every 2 hours. Exhausting. Thankfully we're staying with friends a the moment and there's enough space for Zack to be in his own bedroom, so the door will be shut tonight and baby will have to cry. Enough is enough.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
