money matters

I have opened bank accounts for both children now. I decided to go to Santander as they're local and we have our mortgage with them. I seldom use a high street bank, but convenience is important and you have to start somewhere. Zack has seized the idea with both hands - already deposited £15.50 into his account (from pocket money and tooth fairy savings), and has acquired a further £10 + while we were on holiday which he's ready to deposit. He has such a generous spirit : yesterday we went to the bank at 5:20pm to discover it closes at 5pm, so we crossed the road and went for a Starbucks. I'd paid for drinks and a nibble each, but then he insisted on buying Calvin a further lollypop and himself a biscuit - with the money he had in his purse (which was en-route to the now, closed bank). And then insisted on buying a bag of crisps for me. Bless him, he has a very giving nature.

at Huntsville Alabama, the national Space & Rocket Centre

My attitude | Their attitude
While in the USA on holiday (Spring Break / Easter hols), I genuinely struggled with their ingratitude. It's so difficult when you're away from home, living in different accommodation every night, eating out or having take-aways for at least 2 meals a day. On the one hand I'm delighted that they're confident and and can ask anyone for help or assistance; on the other hand, their attitude of 'this is what I want, and I want it now' really erked me. The transition from lower middle class in my childhood, to the affluent upbringing that our children are having is a difficult one to navigate. You want your children to realise the value of things : not just money, but what goes into a holiday, the value of labour, the value of these unique experiences. We will be in South Africa for all of August and I'm thinking very seriously of spending a few days at an orphanage in Soweto with a friend of mine so that they can see first-hand what it is to have no parents, no toys, in need.
Zack has been studying "Fairtrade" at school, and seems to have an understanding of poverty. It chimes with his generosity, it's true. I'd like to flesh that out a bit though.

Calvin is still a very self-contained little boy. I did however have an insight into his personality while we were away, thanks to Greg's comments. Calvin really looks up to Zack - hero worship - and feels very protective of him. So when Zack has a tantrum, it's Calvin who 'feels' the agony/frustration. There is a symbiosis there which we, as parents, are not plugged into. I hadn't recognised it until we were out of our normal environment, and I think I don't see it at home because Calvin is so quiet in himself. My eyes have been opened, and I will now be looking to him as a barometer of Zack's emotional well-being.

themes for the term

The theme for the term in Year 1 is "Dungeons and Dragons", so we've had a lovely time singing 'Puff the Magic Dragon', and making castles and talking about dragons.
A very dedicated chap, Jim Batty, has put together this website and walking tour (and photo safari) of 'dragons in London'. I seized the opportunity and took the boys into town to see dragons and meet Daddy for a hamburger. It was great fun.

at Bank Station

One man and his dog....

Last Saturday we took ourselves off up north to Bromsgrove (just south of Birmingham) to visit Frankie & Agnieszka and their new addition to the family - Jethro - a golden retriever. He is now 5 months old and full of bounce and lick.
The weather was glorious and the local playground was well frequented during Jethro's walks. We also popped into the café for ice cream. It was such a good break - far away from all the responsibilities and to-do lists. The only challenge was getting up at 6:40am most days with Calvin, sigh. But beyond that it was a special time with family.

we went to Cadbury's World on Monday. Sadly Keith missed it as he was back at work

Zack and Aga take on one another on the iPad

Calvin's potty-training continues unabated. He is doing mightily well and altho we have accidents here and there, he is in underpants all day, every day. Praise has worked really well with this little chap, and I regularly catch him saying, "I so clever", to himself. Delightful.
His vocabulary is excellent and he is making himself well understood. He is most definitely a two-year-old with lots of "no's". Strangely we are still getting to know him, as Zack is such a big personality and tends to take over. Having Tina (our housekeeper) away for a month was really a special time of one-to-one with Calvin and I think we both feel that we understand and know him better.
Hammy, the hamster, is still healthy and busy (at night). He has been 'downsized' from Chairman Mao's palace as he managed to chew a hole in the bottom of one of the panels. he is now in a smaller box with a wheel attached and he seems more settled and less intent on escape.

twilight zone

I flew out to Ohio last week Thursday, with two boys in tow, to visit Keith's aunt and uncle - Joy & Mike. The flight out was horrendous. I arrived at Heathrow at 09h35 (three hours before the flight was due to depart). It took them 2 hours to issue Calvin's boarding pass as he was travelling as an "infant on lap". Apparently the system couldn't sort it out. Idiots at Continental/United Airlines have NO idea about frustration. What am I supposed to do with two children who are being forced to stand still in a ticket hall for two hours? My blood was boiling. Calvin and Zack then took it in turns to press all mommy's buttons until we got to Cleveland. I was extremely grateful for the air-stewardess on our final leg: the only helpful individual we'd met in 12 hours!
The kids had such a good time, and thoroughly enjoyed all the attention. Zack went to sleep as soon as we got there, but Calvin was wide awake and firing on all cylinders. It meant that everyone got to meet the little brother, without all the sibling rivalry that goes on during daylight hours. It was great fun and he did his little walking steps from one person to another too - what a performer! Joy and Mike were both working, so during the day we'd go to the Mall (it was bitterly cold outside), or down to a playground nearby.

Zack working his way up

The fun of sliding

Saying "Goodbye" to Joy on Tuesday morning

Calvin and James share an IKEA moment

Uncle Mike helps Calvin eat every last pea in the pot

I was feeling incredibly rough (tired, ratty and sick) when we got there, but thanks to the family I slept for a good 9 hours on the first night. I was diagnosed with 'pink eye' while I was there, so it was good to get some meds, and shake that infection (I'd been struggling to get rid of it at home). Keith arrived on Friday night, and we were able to sleep in on both Sat and Sun mornings. What a wonderful feeling! Mike doesn't sleep well, and the boys had jet-lag, so it was a win-win situation.
Zack, Calvin and I went out for hamburgers on Monday afternoon which Zack thought was a treat. He can be incredibly slow at eating - too busy watching everything else that's going on around us. He loved the ceremony of it all too, and I sent him off to the 'soda machine' to refill his own cup.
It is Zack's 4th birthday in 10 day's time and we are planning a Spiderman theme. Walmart is a wonderland of goodies, so I picked up a ton of stuff for the party. Thank goodness for huge weight allowances on US flights.
Tuesday evening was the flight home. We had a relatively uneventful trip home - no delays, no crises, no [enormous] tantrums, and a quick connection at Newark too. Zack wet his trousers sleeping, but I'd prepared for that eventuality and packed clean bottoms, and socks. Funnily enough he did comment that, "people will laugh at me with no trousers on" (I had to change him once all the other passengers had disembarked), but I reassured him that no-one could see. Funny the little things that they are concerned about all of sudden.

Race:
Zack is suddenly aware of race/ethnicity. We were in a supermarket today, and he said to me, 'That man is the same colour as Ethan and Chloe'. To which I replied, 'Yes, that's right. Anokye's daddy is also that colour.' I think he's identified the colour as 'brown'.
Then, just to throw a spanner in the works, I said to him, "So Zack, what colour do you think you are ?' I proffered some suggestions : purple, green, blue pointing at my skin. In the end he said, "I don't know Mom." So I suggested he think about it and we can talk about it again. Devils' advocate!

back to earth with a thud...

Tomorrow is "exit day" - we fly out of OR Tambo at 21h25. It's going to be interesting to see how I cope with two little 'uns, but I'm not the first and the air hostesses have been very helpful thus far. Once I'm home tho...the daunting task of ripping up the floor and all the "dry rot work" lies ahead - what a pain in the butt. I feel exhausted just thinking about the mess and builders and Aaarrghhhh !
I lean on a verse in Matthew 6 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." [verse 34] - gives you a bit of perspective in all the mania.
On the upside tho' it'll be good to be home again. I can't wait to see the photos that Keith took and also begin the arrangements for Zack's 3rd birthday party next Saturday. Astonishing that he's turning three on Wednesday.

Och Aye Wee Laddie

Brushing teeth with the first brush we could get our hands on.

Our home in the Highlands for a few days in September - Gairloch

Zack and I catching up on some sleep after lunch.

Wonderful time with Pia & Geoff

We've just spent ten wet days in the Scottish Highlands. Zack made friends with man and wee beasties alike, and seems to have mastered a few new words. To the current vocabularly we can add,'Juice, Duck, Ladder, Down, Pughhghgghghg (the sound of a car crashing), Car, Bus'. It's amazing actually, how much he understands these days. His favourite of all time tho' is 'Car' - said with such conviction that it's hard not to respond. Bless his little socks.
New frustration mechanism is biting his own hand - usually the right one. So he has lots of marks on the top of his hand. Oh dear me.

He has so enjoyed the time with my mum - I discovered them in bed this morning reading Richard Scarry classics, with loads of pointing and "Car" exclamations.

This evening, sadly, is 'farewell Nanna'. It's all gone by so quickly.


Zack tells us all about Scotland from his guidebook

mr & mrs zimmer

Zack is now well on the way to walking. He insists on being able to hold onto your hands and totter around the flat, the garden, the pavements, the shopping mall, so that he can look at what he wants to see. Keith and I feel like human zimmer frames, heh heh. It won't be long now and he'll be running around.

I am really looking forward to the time when he can stand on his own, but I'm aware that when they're so mobile, you have to keep your eye on them every minute of the day. I had an awful dream last night that Zack went missing. That feeling of dread inside you... I remember talking to the police and constantly looking at the space where he was, and he was gone. I got an email from Kelly recently about the Jamie Bulger case, and it's haunted me ever since. I can think of nothing more evil, and terrible to lose a child to some coniving criminal. It must be terrible to feel completely bereft and unable to fix it. I don't even want to think about what I would become in that situation. It isn't something to dwell on.

Zack is also becoming amazingly stroppy: asserting his will. I can see where the Terrible Twos stories start... he's on his way already. On the one hand it's frustration because he can't tell us what he wants, while on the other, he throws himself around when he can't have his way. Tough life being a toddler, but even tougher being a parent to a toddler.

you wouldn't say so from this photo though, would you ?

We were away on the weekend and it was lovely having the space to let him run around, but it was also really tiring as we had to watch him and 'zimmer' him alot, and he didn't sleep well in the nights AT ALL. So we were both feeling decidedly smashed on Sunday morning. I was counting down to sleeping in our own beds last night !
He travelled very well, and was content to just listen to us while we chatted on the way there (about 2 hours) and napped when he wanted to. It reminded me of those crazy trips I did with my mum to Norfolk, and Keith to Edinburgh when Zack was so small. I was off my head tackling all that !

Glückliche Ostern Kinder

Zack had an exotic Easter with a five day trip to Berlin. He was really very well behaved despite having to spend most of the days in his pram being pushed around, and not having much opportunity to crawl or cruise - it just isn't child-friendly being on the move. He was very obliging and slept in his pram when he was tired, and ate in it when there wasn't a high-chair. Eating was incredibly messy, the biggest being a meal in a lovely Asian-fusion restaurant where the floor was absolutely covered in rice and bits when we left, but for the most he was well behaved. He is currently surreptitiously dropping things over the edge of his high-chair, and this happens everywhere. A stern "No!" is delivered by mum and dad, but what effect it has is yet to be seen. Apparently this is another phase.


He is just delightful in the mornings – often waking up in a good mood, and oh-so chatty. New words are "ga-ga", and heaps more pointing being done. Little chuckles are emitted when we touch light-switches or whatever was being pointed at. He is eating more and more varied food – this weekend certainly tested that – which is a huge relief. He ate his first apple while we were there : on loan from his friend Emily. (Our friends in Berlin, Kev & Lisa, have a little girl of 2 and are expecting another in a few months time). It was fascinating to see two little people interacting. They were delighted to see one another, and distraught when it was home-time. So funny to see.