upstairs-downstairs : my own bedroom

A week or so ago, we put the boys in different bedrooms at bedtime. Zack had been having a tantrum and I just thought, "for pity's sake... Calvin needs some sleep." So I offered him the opportunity of going to sleep in our room. It was the right call - Calvin slept well, and Zack chilled out and went off to sleep eventually.
We knew we were onto something... but it took a bit of convincing...
Calvin has agreed to having his own bedroom WITHOUT a bunk bed will be just fine. Zack continues in his current bedroom, sleeping on the top of the bunkbed.
After a week of it, we're all happy with the new arrangement - bedtimes are calmer, easier to manage, everything is feeling fairer, and above all the children are sleeping well.
I guess the big question was/is : When is the right time for my kids to have their own room ? I don't think there's a definitive answer here. Some people are lucky to have the space for each child from the start, some share a bedroom until they move house to something bigger, some share a room until puberty, some until their late childhood, some forever; it's also dependent on whether you have all boys, all girls, or mixture. Honestly, I think your children just follow your lead. If there is no chance of your own space, then we all make do.
We're fortunate to have the space now, so our boys are in their own rooms. The eldest is claiming nyctophobia (fear of the dark), but has also started reading independently in bed. The youngest's flare for organising and tidying has meant a lovely tidy bedroom, which he is proud of. Hurrah !
Now all I have to do is throw away the Christmas decorations, sports gear, and spare photography boxes and Calvin will have a 'clear' bedroom....


.... not likely.

Here we go again!

Night three hundred and sixtyfive zillion, eight hundred and tootyfive....
It is now 8:22pm and Calvin & Zack are playing silly-buggers in the bathroom under the pretense of needing to "wee" Mommy. I have been into their room twice already, separated them from one another and into their own beds (bunkbed), as Calvin can't get down by himself - but he can get up! Exhausting.
After a while I just get sick and tired of going up there and yelling at them. Last night it went on until after 9:30pm and they were both sobbing in separate rooms. What does it take to get the message ? I just don't know

Keeping tabs - night 14 of "getting the message"

Day 14: Tuesday 21st June
taken to bed : twice
time of quiet : 20h21

Last night I gave in and let him sleep in Zack's bedroom, because he kept creeping downstairs to be under Zack's bed. Tonight it was the same routine, so why am I fighting it ? Well, last night Zack woke up twice in the night crying and I don't know how much Calvin had to do with it. Mummy & daddy are just plain tired and want them to shut up

Keeping tabs - night 10 of "getting the message"

Day 10: Friday 17th June
taken to bed : a million times :(
time of quiet : 21h15

Sheesh! He is SO not getting the message. It's driving me mental!
AND he was up this morning (Sat) at 5:40am - bloody 'ell

Keeping tabs - night 7 of "getting the message"

last night we put Calvin to bed around 8pm and he was up and down at least 4 times. It ended with a smack and the door to his bedroom being closed. You wonder how long it's going to take to drive this message home ?!

Keeping tabs - night 4 of "getting the message"

Wed 8th June
babysitting night, but apparently all went according to plan.
Certainly Calvin was out of bed twice before I left at 8:15pm.
Depressingly, he woke up at 1:30am and again at 3:10am so I am a Z.O.M.B.I.E.

Keeping tabs - night 3 of "getting the message"

Day 3: Tuesday 7 June
taken to bed 2x
time of quiet : 21h00

Keeping tabs - night 1 of "getting the message"

Calvin is driving me up the spout with not going to bed.

Day 1: Sunday 5 June
taken to bed 4x
+ one more time for wee & poo
time of quiet : 20h40

Regression Session

Sigh. Calvin is driving us up the wall - new trick is to wee and poo in his trousers. Not sure what's up. He will literally make a wee in the potty and ten minutes later produce an enormous wet pair of trousers (preferably once we've left home). I know it's to be expected but it's exasperating.
That being said, he really is good when he's on the potty / toilet to make use of the opportunity. And he's fastidious about washing his hands - praise the Lord. I have done one thing right :)
We've had family here for the past 2 1/2 weeks which was just blissful as Calvin now wakes up anywhere between 5:30am and 6:45am. We actually got some rest in the mornings which was much needed.
Spent some fun time with Shirley, Maggie, Claire & Caryl as well as Erin & Mario.

Kew Gardens, green house

growing up

It's been a whirlwind past month with all the bank holidays, royal wedding and now family visiting from S Africa. Calvin has been hit by the early rising sun, and we are all subject to his antics at approx 5:30am which is very, very hard. He is able to climb up Zack's bunk-bed now and wake up his brother (for company), and shout loudly that he has made a "poo". which needs changing. Bless Keith - he mostly gets up and does that.
It means that we're all a bit smashed at the moment. However - next week is half-term and that means we can rest during the day as there are no big commitments.

Keith bought a new clock for him to try and sort things out - a Gro-Clock. It shows a little sun when it's time to wake up. The rest of the time it is a star, which means "sleep time". Calvin is too clever for that - he just pulls the power cable out when it suits him AND tells you the whole story about the sunshine meaning it's time to wake up. Hopefully with repetition and enforcement we may yet get him to sleep until 6:30am.
Zack has a new star chart to get his behavior back on track in the evenings. It's really worked and we've been tough on marking his achievements. He managed 10 stars and went off to the cinema rejoicing last weekend with Keith. The next star chart has hopes of a visit to Legoland. We shall see. Keith has said he needs 100 stars to go, but that seems unattainable to me. Time for negotiation.
Calvin has regressed a little on the potty training - deliberately wee'ing in his trousers during the day. This morning he actually poo'ed in them too which meant he got a stern talking to. Little blighter. He also thinks it's hilarious to say "poo poo", and "poo head", and "poo face" and "willy poo". Dull toilet humour. You can only tell them off SO many times before you recognise that ignoring it is the best way forward. We're trying hard.
Calvin is picking up more and more - his vocabulary is impressive and his understanding of things too. He is still suffering from separation anxiety a lot. His gross motor skills have been 'on vacation' this week as he fell down on tarmac twice in half an hour and has taken the skin off both knees, his elbow and the palm of one hand. It's just horrid and you can't help but feel for him - poor little thing. Thank goodness for Shrek plasters which seem to have done wonders.
Speaking of which - we are besotted with Shrek DVDs at present, and can watch little else.
Calvin has two firm favourite books : the Hungry Caterpillar and a new pop-up book on Noah & the Ark.
Tina has handed in her notice - which is sad for us all. She will leave on 2 July and move to Southampton. Her husband has been offered a job there. I've been quite emotional about it all, and trying to feel motivated about a solution or p.o.a. I'm vascillating between another housekeeper and a cleaner who does some ironing. The child-care issue is never going to go away, so in reality I need to keep that larder well-stocked.
My freelance work has also picked up so there's more going on during my spare time which is a challenge.
My sister-in-law, Tammy, has announced that she's preggie on her blog. I'm still not sure if that means it's common-knowledge or if it's a secret... what is public and what is private ? Not sure. Our boys will have a new cousin early next year, which is exciting. Hurrah!

Keith has just completed a small photo project, taking each of our eyes.
The similarities in the family are striking

no sleep

Mummy and Daddy are zombies at the moment - Calvin is waking up twice and even three times a night to have a wail. Mostly I get up, but I'm getting to the point where he can just cry if I've been up twice before. I feel bad for the neighbours, but I need a bit of pity too. Poor Keith is also feeling haggard with the sleepless nights (and he's suffering from insomnia) and all the stresses and strains at work. His plate is pretty full right now.
I'm really not sure what's causing the wakefulness, but all the boxes are ticked - clean nappy, not thirsty, dummy nearby, warm, quiet. Either he's lonely or he's bored. We are going to move his cot into Zack's room so that we solve the former, but the latter is something that will have to find it's own way out because neither Keith nor I are entertainers at 1am, 4am or 5:30am. No way!
Zack and Calvin went off to Little Dinosaurs yesterday, and when I got home I heard that Zack had bitten a two-year-old. Sheesh! How long has it been since he last bit a child ? Ages and ages. He had rushed upstairs when I was talking to Tina about it, and I found him hiding underneath his bed. I went up and sat on the floor and encouraged him to come out. He was obviously afraid of what I was going to say, and apologized immediately. Now that he's older, it's easier to ask, 'Why?'. The other child was hitting him in the face. I reminded him that he needs to talk to an adult. Biting is not an option.
Calvin, Zack and I went off to the shoe shop on Tuesday and got new shoes for both of them. It is remarkable how quickly children's feet grow. Zack is now an 11, so needed to say farewell to his Gola's. I replaced them with a pair of funky white Sketchers. Calvin got his first pair of walking shoes - little navy-blue, leather ones. He seems happy in them, altho' he is reverting to crawling every now and then which is understandable.
I took Calvin to the physio on Monday morning at 9am for an assessment. Considering he'd been walking for nearly a week, I felt that my fears had been allayed and I really didn't need to be there. As it turns out she was happy to see us, but confirmed just that - he is doing well developmentally and doesn't have any issues of concern. That little outward turning foot of his will soon be straighter with the shoes and constant walking.

cat's away

Sigh... why is that the minute Keith heads off on business, the kids 'habits' degenerate ? Sleeping is the first one to go. Last night Zack was not in a hurry to go to sleep, and then woke up this morning at 5:25am having had a bad dream (he tells me that I had gone far away), and wee'd in his bed. Having calmed him, changed his pyjamas and putting a towel down on the wet patch, he then told me that he wanted to play. I was firm and said, NO. It's still night time and you must sleep. He didn't tho'. He'd woken Calvin up who was now chattering in his cot. I decided a firm line was the best, so I just went upstairs and went back to bed. Zack came up and joined me on and off, and finally went downstairs. And here's the reason for today's post - Zack put on the tv and the DVD player by himself and watched Stuart Little. I am delighted. I was able to sleep until 8:30 when Calvin woke up again. Not feeling quite as shattered as I might have.
Annoyingly I have a nasty eye infection which isn't clearing, so I'm trying to sort that out too.

Family holiday - Johannesburg

Calvin didn't start walking (I had hoped he would), but speeded up the crawling

Spiderman is a current favourite - couldn't get the swimming costume off him some days

What more can I say ? The kids had a blast, we got to sleep in. We've come home rested and ready for what 2010 will throw at us

zonked

Calvin has been up two nights running, teething. Last night I was up from 2:20am until nearly 4am and we tried everything - teething powder, Bonjela and lots of rocking and comforting. It didn't have much effect. Feeling pretty smashed today & the kitchen counters are being installed. Sigh...

make that...

Two Teeth! he cut the second one the following day. Poor little guy - and more importantly, poor mummy and daddy who've had very little sleep in the last ten days with the teething. Good news tho' is that the constipation seems to be easing. It's so hard for these little tummies to get used to "new" food. I've very relieved that things seem to be back on a rhythm.
Calvin is also sitting more and more. He struggles to stay upright on very hard surfaces (wooden flooring), but carpets are easier. He's taking more note of himself in the mirror too, and reaching out when we walk past.

settling in

We've been here for 2 weeks now, and I'm finally starting to feel more at ease. Zack and I went off to the Mum & Tots group on Monday. I felt a bit shell-shocked afterwards - no-one spoke to me, or even made a comment. There were about 50 kids there, so the place was heaving. It made me realise just how wonderful "Chatterbox" is (our 'old' group in Limehouse). The east enders are a friendly bunch - because so many of them are immigrants. Here it's one-big-homogenous-cakeslice who don't really need new friends, so they don't try . It means I'm going to have to put in some extra effort to "break the ice" as it were; it's not all bad tho.... We went along to the Woman's Bible study group at church yesterday morning and they run a creche. It worked out very well - Zack had a ball with the older boys, and played the piano a bit with the girls. I had to drag him away at the end. Calvin slept thru' the entire episode, so no complaints there. It is good to be surrounded by mums with kids the same age. Afterwards I bumped into 2 or 3 of them walking home, which adds to the sense that this is a community. Things are looking up!

Getting things sorted out at home is taking night after night of our energy : I got to IKEA at 9pm last night. It's a good thing as I managed to find a blind & curtain for the kid's bedroom. I had spent two sessions at our local John Lewis (department store) looking at curtains & blinds earlier this week, but to no avail. The ready-made ones are all too short. I suppose the other thing is that IKEA's stuff is fine (and they fit) and doesn't cost the earth. I found blinds for the study too, and the difference in cost is more than £1000!! And not for a vastly different creature either I might add.
The fridge arrived on Tuesday which was fabulous. And it's a monster ! It is nice to have the space after living out of a bar-fridge for almost 2 weeks. You think you'll never fill these things, and then steadily all the stuff creeps in.

Zack has been up & down this week. Some days he's been lovely and really interactive, enthusiastic, participated well, communicated well. Other days we've just come to loggerheads all day - those are the hardest days for me, because by 5pm my patience is gone and I turn into the disciplinarian. Keith's hours are still not too good, so he gets home well after the kid's bedtime which isn't really part of the plan. One night this week I was so tired of fighting with Zack that I got him out of the bath at 7:30 and then said to him that he could do whatever he wanted until daddy got home to read him a story and put him to bed. Keith walked in at 8:40pm and wondered why Zee was still up.
Another night this week, I just went to bed at 8:30pm - as soon as Keith got home. It's emotionally exhausting and I hardly get enough sleep anyway. It was good to be asleep for an extra few hours.

Calvin is 24 weeks tomorrow, and is getting over his conjunctivitis. It's one of those funny infections that kids get, and you really just need to be persistent about cleaning. I would like to have another round of 'shots' before we leave for South Africa. Unfortunately we aren't yet registered with a new GP here in Muzzies, so I'll probably have to go to the Barkantine to get it done. It's not all bad - will make it part of a trip to sort out the flat in Coldharbour. That is another saga, for another blog. Suffice it to say, the flat is getting fixed up and we should be able to put it on the rental market in the next week or so.

It is two weeks until we fly to South Africa and I am counting down. I CANNOT wait to be there and just rest a bit. It will be blissful having the grannies, aunties and uncles around to play with the kids and spoil them with attention and games. My poor hands and feet need lots of TLC - moving house ruins them, especially in a harsh winter like this one.

I have tried & tried to find a baby sitter to replace (the wonderful) Kelly. It's been hard work. I have still not actually managed to meet a potential candidate, but roll on next week, when I will line up some eager girls. I'm hoping to also make the time to see the local nursery (across the road) and find out about the Open Days at the local Montessori's (there are two).

so much

You can well imagine how I'm feeling with more than 8 weeks of development to catch up on here on the blog. Zack has grown and matured so much - he is STILL biting (worse than before but more rarely), but knows how to be completely charming, flash that smile, work the room. He can be very affectionate when he wants to be, yet he also knows how to wield his will. He wishes everything could be his way, but ain't that the way of toddlers ? It seems like time is rushing away, as he gets more confident on playground equipment, speaks more, understands more (uh-oh), and sleeps better at night (thank the Good Lord)! He is not a baby any more and having weaned him of his dummy while in NZ, we feel like most of the hard stuff is done. Potty training is still a hope and a dream - altho' he's quite curious he has no interest in sitting on the toilet or a potty, or anything. He can name it, and sometimes tell me when it's happening but that's as far as we've gone. The general consensus is that they get there in their own time, so I'm not pushing. What's worse : a 4-year-old in nappies, or a 4-year-old with a dummy ? Attending nursery is going to cure Zack of the former because in the UK children have to be potty-trained to attend school. We've ticked off the latter, so I suppose we're on the road, one way or the other. I do pity parents with school children, with dummy in mouth, being pushed in a pram, but there you go. We all make choices.

I thought it was going to much harder than it was.

Ah, the joy of antipodean summers – the inflatable pool / castle
includes hours of fun at no charge, weather virtually guaranteed.