wisdom needed : post here

It was Zack's Parent-Teachers meeting last night. Overall he's come back with great feedback, except for the hitting of classmates. His teacher has put it as "zero tolerance of physical aggression". Obviously he's not alone and there are a few boys that are setting one another off (I saw it happen in the playground yesterday when another little boy was playing with Zack after school, on the slide, and he just hit Zack as they were sliding down. Zack then retaliated).
Keith and I have been talking about this for the past few weeks, as it's been in the headlines. It is so much about the how of dealing with it, and what to do. Zack does thrive on positive reinforcement, so the carrot of praise is ever before us. The real challenge however is the initiate, the beginning, the 'what starts it'? question.
We have drummed it into him that he cannot hit other children, (just like we used to say, "no biting"). We have drummed it into him that if someone hits him, he must tell the teacher. Immediately.
I feel like he's getting mixed messages though. If Calvin hits him here at home, he tells me, and I say "Calvin is very naughty, isn't he?", and then I tell Calvin off. But there really isn't any justice in that is there?
Talking to my counselor, she's said that it's just massive emotional need that exists within children of this age, and they can't tell you what or why. So if Zack is full of emotion and someone hits him, going and telling the teacher seems like an insipid plea for justice in that situation. I really, really need to get my head around this.

vocal explosion

Zack is just talking, talking, talking. It's as if he's suddenly getting his mouth around all the things that he's been listening to for months. We've been making notes of the news words for a while, but in the last few days it's just exploded. Isn't language an amazing thing ? I was watching my friend Elly's little boy a few months agao and was astonished at how he mimicked her every word, and now Zack is doing it. Of course there's heaps of babbling going on, but for the rest it's great fun.

Favourite word is still 'car'. But that's how it goes with boys !

The Aside:
Coming back to London was a shock to the system. We had a few rough nights and Zack is becoming more and more head-strong. He bit me hard on Wednesday morning at our mum's group, because I wouldn't let him have a 4th biscuit. Lots of screaming and stamping of feet, and then when I confronted him and said "no", he bit me. I smacked him in front of all the mummies. Yesterday we were in Hyde Park, in a playground, and 2 mums came to blows because one's child was being picked on by another (with absent mum). Heaven help you if you raise your voice, let alone your hand to some kid who is pounding yours. What a crazy world we live in! Jackie was saying how strange it is that we are so involved in our children's lives (stimulating them, educating them, entertaining them), compared to our mums who chased us outside to play, and our grandparents who were even less involved (by all accounts - see ITV's new parenting series, Bringing Up Baby). There has definitely been a trend in the last 100 years towards tighter bonds with one's children. The down-side is tho', that we don't trust anyone with or near our kids. There are paedo's everywhere, we're told. Stranger Danger! etc. etc. It puts so much more strain on mums who are already collapsing under the load of domestic duties, and dad's under the strain of providing, supporting. Yadda Yadda. And there isn't always someone to listen to your ranting and moaning. Parenting is not an easy road. It's bloody hard work.