why? OT why ?

So the Psych says, he's got sensory processing issues. My niece on my side, and my nephew on my husband's side, have both got sensory issues, so I'm thinking "Yeah. I can see there might be a link". I put everything I have into finding an OT - it's insanely scarce in London. I ask everyone I know who might be able to help, even a friend whose son has Downs Syndrome that I haven't seen in 6 years. Slowly word trickles back, but there's not much. And then when I'm feeling desperate one evening, I get an email from a friend of a friend and BAM! I have a name. It's an OT in Mill Hill - not far from me. Only 18 minutes drive. Whoohoo!
I make an appointment, she sounds great.
I meet her. We talk. She is very sincere and keen to help.
And yesterday evening I take Zack. He goes in for his assessment. He is chatty and keen.
I sit outside for 30 minutes. Then I go in, and she says, she's baffled. She says he's absolutely fine and has NO motor-skill issues. She says he is completely well-developed and was quick at all the tasks. We talk for a while and she says she thinks all his issues may be behavioural and emotional, linked with the academic environment.
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WHAT !?!?!?!
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I don't know what to say. I want to scream and cry. I suppose I should feel relieved that it's ruled out one factor, but part of me is really sad, as OT is fun and creative. And it would have been a great foil to the muddy, messy, painful world of therapy. Zack doesn't want to talk to a therapist like the one he had. But if the OT is right, that's what he needs most - more behavioural therapy, more psych.
And to top it all off, he was listening at the door while the OT and I were talking (not great), and wanted to know if he could go to Boarding School (!). He was insistent that that's what we'd said, and that's what he heard. I denied it, but he was convinced. Bit of a yucky outcome really. I explored it a bit on the drive home, "Have you been thinking about boarding school before ? Where did you hear about boarding school? Do you have a friend who is at boarding school? What do you think boarding school is like?"
He doesn't have a friend at boarding school. Not that I know of.
We discussed the ins and outs of boarding school and I also said that he was a bit young to go.

I feel so weary about all this.



Anyone want to buy two enormous books on kids with sensory issues ? ahem.

Ed Psych gateway

So we've been waiting for more than 6 weeks for an Educational Psychologist's assessment to be done so that we can have something more concrete to work with. And more particularly, something that ISN'T inside the psychotherapy "fold", which is where we've felt a bit trapped this past while. Seems like such a straightforward thing to find an Ed Psych and then have it done, but the wait has felt interminable and I was very relieved when Monday rolled around. Turns out she's a Clinical Psych focused on neuro-developmental assessment.
We were given her name by a friend who runs a dyslexic clinic nearby, and although I'd contacted another Ed Psych too, these people are certainly in no hurry to return your call.
Finally the day has dawned. Zack really put his best foot forward and gave it everything he had, calmly and with purpose for all of the 4 hours that it took.
The outcome will present itself in the form of an Executive Report initially, to be followed with a full Ed Psych Report in a few week's time. In the interim we've been given a final set of B.R.I.E.F. questionnaires to fill out which focus on elements that presented themselves from Monday's tests.
It seems Zack has elements of dyspraxia, and dyslexia and a very big slice of Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) thrown into the mix. He has a low 'executive function' (read this) and low working memory. He is sensory seeking which feeds into so many of his disruptive tendencies. It's quite hard at this stage to separate the ODD, the emotional and behavioural issues in general, this 'executive function' issue, and the SPD needs, as I think the fidgeting and disruptive tendencies, may also just be his inability to sit still, and not be in other people's personal space. But he definitely is defiant because of his response when told to stop. Perhaps, with time, he'll come to understand his own foibles, and that'll make him more able to curb the things that wind people up the most. Poor little chap, it's not an easy journey.
We had a 20 page questionnaire and the school had a similar one to fill in. The SENCO's covering letter said something like :
'Dear X
The parents have been unwilling for us to appoint our own Educational Psychologist...
blah blah blah... '
Keith and I nearly blew a gasket - where the f*** do these people get off ? Honestly ! We have begged and pleaded for them to allocate resources to Zack but NO, he is not a big enough problem. He is only enough trouble for them to write letters to us about, and to put him in detention, and punish by excluding him, but they can't pick up the phone and call the local educational team and ask them to send someone or a few someones. Nope. Zack doesn't have 'special needs' and only special needs get resources. fuck fuck fuck.
It beggars belief.

One of the answers the teacher put on her questionnaire was that Zack's class mates are "fed up" with him. And I thought that was pretty honest. That really does sum up my impression of his peers' feeling toward him. No wonder he feels so lonely and isolated. I was telling the mother of the only special needs boy in his class yesterday, and she "had no idea" that Zack had any issues. She was also very surprised that he too had been invited to no birthday parties this year, just like her son.

If Zack didn't have us, fighting his corner, defending his myriad **insignificantly big enough issues**, they would write him off and not bother to sort out that fact that he can't read and he can't spell. And he doesn't have a modicum of attention required to get through school. And he constantly fidgets and touches other children. Helllooooo people !!!

I try so hard not to feel defensive.