Congratulations - London & Mackay!

Huge congratulations to my cousin Christopher, Sarah and little Lucas on safe arrivals on the 29th of Dec. Chris, he looks like a real little bossie. Sarah - hope you're doing OK after the C-section honey. Take things easy if you can.

Congratulations to my mate Kim and her partner Nick on the birth of little Stanley - eagerly anticipated. Well done you two !

we love trains and cars

Zack is a typical boy - he just loves cars. He got a train set for Christmas from us, and is FINALLY learning to play by himself. It is a real help, as we've been trying to encourage it for ages.

chrissy

Calvin is making good progress and the current stage is staring intensely at his hands - "What are these things?" - he goes quite squint with the effort. He is full of smiles and giggles too, which makes for great relief from the toddler tantrums with his older brother. Only frustration in the last 24 hours has been his resistance to breast-feed. He went purple last night, crying, because mummy wanted him to take the breast and he was having none of it. It's annoying because the bottle is obviously easier to feed from, but if I don't keep up the feeding that'll be it. I am too tired to express milk every 3 hours.

For a little Festive Fun, we took Zack on the carousel at the O2 on Saturday night. Initially he wasn't sure about the motion of forward and up & down at the same time - we had just eaten dinner. But by the second or third revolution it was all smiles and waving at mummy and the camera. Of course it was, "Let's do it again!" when they got off.

Pineapple

Granny has gone home and we miss her alot. We had a lovely moment with Zack, when she'd been saying to him, "Zack you are my honey-bun, sugar-lump" and he responded with, "Granny, you are my pineapple". Aren't kids great ! ? !

Calvin is doing well, and getting heavier. His head's still quite wobbly, but he's getting some tummy time and I hope that'll remedy things. He is full of smiles and chatter, it's really cute to see his personality coming through now. He spends alot of time staring at his hands, and clasping them together.


Zack is as "spirited" and "lively" as ever. We had a helluvah weekend with him, and Keith and I were both pretty tired of his tantrums and bad behaviour by the end of it. How many times can a kid go to his room in one day ? But then yesterday (Monday) was great, and we played with his cars on the lounge carpet for most of the day - his current favourite activity - and we went for a haircut which he was very brave doing. He was most upset by the hair in his mouth, but by the end had a lolly in his hand (also with hair on it, but he didn't seem to care) and was marching determinedly out the door. He is putting prepositions into sentences now and it's made for even better conversations and role playing. When it comes to giving instructions (which Zack is very good at! LOL) it has changed things forever. We really do know where we stand now.

way away

Yeah, sorry - no news for two weeks because we've been away in Devon (Dartmoor National Park), and pushing forward on the house-purchase, and juggling balls, and being a mummy, and co-ordinating calendars, and looking for a baby-sitter, hosting visitors, planning Xmas day, etc etc.
Good news is that Christmas came early for me this year in the form of Keith's mum. While we've been away she's faithfully got up each morning at around 4am and fed Calvin so that I can sleep. Wow! I really do feel like a different person. He is thriving and smiling more and more. He can be very chatty and likes to gurgle and coo - it's all very endearing.
Zack has been a little bored being away with no other children to play with, and a limited selection of toys. That said, we made an effort to take him outside and "run him" around - the golf driving range, the trampoline, the grounds of where we were staying. You could say that he is still very spirited, and it certainly kept mummy and daddy on their toes with all the 'acting up' while we were away. Now that we're back in London, in a routine, with all the usual faces and activities, he's like a different child. Yesterday, he was the happiest I've seen him in a long while – rushing around with Kelly, hugging and kissing us all, playing games, singing songs and being the delightful Zack we know so well. Amazing!
Tomorrow is Calvin's follow-up appointment with Dr. Moncado and we'll see what she has to say about a) his weight gain b) his head control c) other concerns she may have thought of in the interim.

He's a genius I tell you !

Zack is totally a genius... take a look at this drawing and tell me he isn't years ahead of his age!

A scarecrow I am told... tho' it may be just a head, eyes and hair.
Still, I'm am way, way, way impressed with my son's drawing ability.

Ah, go 'n boil your 'ed

Whoop-dee-doo! Back at the health visitor again today. Calvin has gained all of 200g since last week - this means that he weighs nearly what Zack did when he was born (3.87kgs). The reason for the visit however, was the doctor's concern over Calvin's head control. As it turns out, they feel things haven't improved at all. That said, she also found fault with his breathing - as I've mentioned before, he has had a cold for sometime (in fact we all have), which makes his breathing quite laboured when he drinks milk. When he's relaxed, his breathing is just fine. She said that what worried her was that he may have a complication with his larynx - a condition she had seen before in slightly prem babies. And then the real gem: he has mottled skin ! She wanted to know if his skin had always been like that. I said yes, and that I had taken it for healthy fat. She did the pressure test to see if his circulation had been affected by the dread-mottled-ness. All fine!
I am completely defensive about all of this. I have a fat rant at Keith after each doctor's appointment. What makes me mad is that it is ALL negative news. Everything that gets discussed is under-this, behind-that, not developed-the next thing. There's not one mention of what's going right. If I wasn't a second time mum, I'd be a bit suicidal by now, in fact, I would've checked myself into the hospital to get this all sorted out - once and for all.
Apparently we'll get a paediatric referral if things haven't improved with his head-control, next time. Maybe that isn't a bad thing.

"Yesterday" – discussing time with Zack
Zack is growing more and more curious about time. He now often asks me "what's the time Mummy?", and when I pick him up from play-school, he'll say "it's not late ?". Our favourite though, is the use of the word "yesterday": Zack uses it for all things past tense. This could mean an hour ago, earlier today, yesterday (for real), last week, or even last month. It's really cute, but can be helluv confusing for anyone who's listening to Zack's story of what's transpired in his recent experience. It seems like yesterday was the busiest day in any human being's life, when in fact, it's just the concertina effect of time.

Breast vs. Bottle
I'm feeling a bit despondent about breast-feeding. I'm trying as hard as I can to keep Calvin on the breast, but he finds the bottle pretty easy to feed from (even tho' I'm using those 0+months teats), and loses interest in the breast after more than 20/25 mins. Sometimes it doesn't feel like he's completely drained it either. I keep thinking I should go back to breast-only, and that way my milk supply will pick up and stay up. In the current situation I feel like my milk production is slowing down as the formula-use continues (with no end in sight because of the weight-gain issues). Hmmm... what to do ?

shattered, but fatter

Hurrah! the child weighs 500g more than last week = 3.7kgs. Our efforts at extra feeding have paid off and the lady at the clinic is pleased too. I still have to go next week for the check-up regarding his neck/shoulder strength, but hey... small victories.
At what price ? Well, we are more sleep deprived than we've been in some time. I'm shedding obligations like a persian cat near a velvet jacket, in an attempt to stay sane. We're taking it in turns to sleep between 5am and 7am. Keith has an awful cough that he can't kick, which is keeping him up. We all have stuffy noses - thankfully, I seem to be getting over mine.

I don't know about you, but there are few things more yuck-O than toddler's green, slimey or crusty noses. If I get the chance I'm shoving a tissue at Zack and telling him to blow. This morning I had, had it, and got out some ear-buds and cleaned Zack's nose. He had a model nose after that for all of 30 minutes, until it started streaming. Tsk tsk... nice one Ruth.

two months and nothing to celebrate

Mums don't have a lot of good to say about "health visitors"... perhaps we're all so tired, and so emotional; and they so seldom have anything comforting or congratulatory to say, that the cumulative effect is bad karma. I'm not sure; but I can say that right now I'm feeling pretty hard done by. Today was Calvin's "six week check", altho' he is 2 months old. The negative feedback I got was:
a) he has poor head control (ie. no shoulder strength)
b) he is malnourished - only weighs 3.2kgs at 8 weeks
I'm gutted! I've felt horribly emotional about it all day. I followed the health visitor's advice and topped up his midday feed with formula. By 5:30pm he had vomited up most of his milk of the afternoon - all over himself, the car seat, zack's jacket. I think the hardest thing to stomach is the fact that I've been getting up 2 or 3 times a night to feed him, and he's "malnourished". It just all seems so pointless to me ! I'm hardly in good shape, I have very little patience, am exhausted and my reward - a starving baby ! Fanks alot.

an audience

Andy, my brother, arrived yesterday morning from Johannesburg, to spend 9 days with us. It is just fabulous having him here, and not just for me but for Zack and Keith and Calvin too - in order of enthusiasm! Andy has boundless "uncle-energy" for Zack and doesn't tire of the "do it again" demands. It's been a fun 2 days, and I'm looking very forward to a bit of "alone time" with Andy this week when m'lord is at nursery and out with Kelly at the library.

Calvin at 7 weeks yesterday - 18 October 2008

always a battle

I know there are quite a few parents who read this blog, and perhaps one of you can shed a little light on this issue : Why is it always a battle to get a toddler to do something ? They have no concept of time and punctuality. They will not get dressed. They will not get undressed. They will not put their shoes on. They will not go to bed. They will not get into the bath. They will not get out of the bath either. They choose the MOST horrendous moments for picking a fight - like when you are on the phone, and preferably long-distance. Or they throw a tantrum when your husband is on the phone to his boss.
And yet, they can be absolutely charming. Delightful. Innocence itself.
Who is this little Janus-faced monster-angel that inhabits our home ?

In the news : I see I'm not alone.. this poor mum in Munich, Germany, obviously got enough flack from her toddler to make a point. http://www.thelocal.de/14951/20081016/

sh*t city

On Sunday we took mum to a lovely lunch buffet at the Four Seasons Canary Wharf. We were enjoying our meal and taking it in turns to visit the buffet - child supervision in these environments is essential. I stood up to go and help myself to some lunch when I glanced down at Zack's bright blue shirt which had an enormous yellow semi-circle at the bottom. Oh boy ! that can only mean one thing... a HUGE poo ! Problem was that I didn't have any clean clothes for him, and when Keith looked in the baby bag, he couldn't find any wipes either. Sheesh! Zack certainly knows how to choose his moments. He has never missed an embarassing opportunity to poo. I dashed home for clean clothes, and Keith found some wipes on his second look in the baby bag.
We'd recently moved onto Pamper's Pull Up nappies which fit more snuggly than the Baby Dry brand - that could account for some of the mess. It was pretty awful, but thankfully no poo fell on the floor - I would have died if that'd happened. Keith and Zack ended up in the men's loo, where I dropped off the clean clothes. Suffice it to say, they returned clean and shiny and the rest of the afternoon passed without event. What a day!

the ordeal, part 2

Keith was ushered into an adjoining room once I was 'under', and within 10 minutes was aware that Calvin had been born. Obviously I have no memory of what happened, but he tells me that they had to get Calvin breathing and had him under the lights for a while, but he was soon passed to Keith. I'd lost about 3,5 litres of blood (freaks me out, just thinking about it!), so they had to transfuse about 4 units as well as giving me some platelets. Apparently I came out of theatre after 10pm, so it was more than 2 hours. I'm very grateful to the surgeon - she DID do a good job and I have a thin, red line below my current belly (overhang). There weren't really any stitches to see, they were the disolving type. I was pretty exhausted for most of Sunday and don't remember much.
On Monday morning, an old friend of mine, Pohgek, popped in to visit (she'd expected to find me in the antenatal ward, so was a bit surprised to find I'd had the baby) and I was horribly emotional when she walked in - bursting into tears and sobbing. But once I'd had my little moment, I felt much better and it was great to have company.
By Monday afternoon tho' I was feeling much, much better and on Monday night at 11pm they rolled me out of ICU/ HDU and to the post natal ward. I was pretty stoopid tho' and didn't take any pain-killers, so that when I woke up at around 2 or 3 am, I was in A-G-O-N-Y, and had a tiny baby to feed. Thankfully the midwife popped in, took a bottle of formula and fed Calvin while I sat in the bathroom sobbing from pain. Yeah ! the joys.
Tuesday I felt a bit better...
Wednesday I was ready to go home.

visual record : 4 to 5 weeks old

I've realised that there isn't nearly as much time to take photos of your second child as there were with the first. I'm trying to be good and force myself to do so, whenever the opportunity presents itself. Already I feel guilty as we have no videos of young Calvin in his early days - something I must remedy. These were all taken in the last week or so...

a family outing

On Sunday we headed out to the Natural History Museum with Zack, to see the Dinosaur exhibition. Yes, we've been before but that was during school holidays and it was insane. A rainy Sunday is a huge improvement, and he and Keith thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Afterwards we met up with Caryl, Claire, Pete & Liz (some of the Cape Town family) for tea on the Brompton Road. It was a fun afternoon and quite manageable.

indian summer

We've joined the National Trust, and on two consecutive days took ourselves off to "local" properties to enjoy all they have to offer. These photos were taken on day 2, down in Esher (near Jackie and Claudio) where they have a lovely lake, children's playground and woodlands. The kids had a ball running around like maniacs, climbing trees, marching (Zack's current favourite), kicking a ball and messing around on the playground equipment.

Claudio, Zack and Alessio wrap up our
afternoon at the children's playground

weigh in

Good news : Calvin was weighed by the midwife yesterday afternoon and he has managed to pick up 350g!! Hooray. We were discharged from the midwife care for Mile End / Barkantine. This means that we only have to go to the fortnightly baby clinic to be weighed.

Congratulations : Johannesburg

Well done Kate ! and welcome little Faith Hannah, a sister to Bethany, and second daughter to Bruce & Kate. We are so pleased you managed to make it to term – Congratulations!

weight wait

They weighed Calvin again today, and he hasn't gained any weight in the last week - still only 2.4kgs. A breast-feeding specialist is going to visit tomorrow to see how I'm doing and offer some advice. It seems like the general opinion is to keep feeding, see if he'll take the other breast too, top up with EBM (expressed breast-milk) where necessary. That's fine with me. At this point though, I AM NOT getting my knickers in a knot about whether there's enough milk, etc. If push comes to shove, I will supplement with formula. I don't mind at all.
Something we didn't discuss which may have a bearing on all this, is that Calvin was circumcised last Thursday, and he's had a very snuffly nose / cold, which may have affected his ability and desire to feed. In all other respects he is doing well - sleeping well, feeding well, lovely and alert when he is awake during the late afternoon and early evening, keeping us on the hop with nappy-changing.
I'll say this though, it's quite a reality check when you change a little (breast-fed) baby poo, and then have to do Zack's full blown stinkers within 10 minutes of one another. I can't wait for the elder to be potty trained (sigh). Roll on that day !

Congratulations : Stanmore

Heartfelt congratulations to Omar & Naz on the birth of a beautiful baby boy - Yahya on Monday afternoon. I'm so sorry to hear it was so traumatic, but pleased that you're both safe and hope the jaundice will clear in the next day or two. Well done Naz ! Keep smiling Omar !