Second time around

We are now in the thick of getting Calvin onto solids. He is hilariously different from Zack. He prefers to be able to have one hand in whatever it is we're feeding him, I guess it must be a texture thing. And he's slowly getting the message that he needs to open his mouth to let the food in. He is quite a little tiger though, as he will fight off attempts to feed him when he's decided he's a) not ready, or b) not in the mood. His little hands flap around and he presses his lips, firmly together. He loved the blended chicken and butternut, but hated the beans and brocolli (admittedly it tasted very dull & dreary). I've tried a few of the bottled offerings, which he can't stand but he's happily eating the sachets of organic food made by Ella's Kitchen. I'm such a pragmatic mummy – I've never been one to insist on only organic for my children. He gets a mixture of everything.
One thing I'd never offered Zack is Cheerios, but I've bought a box and sprinkle a few on the table every morning. Calvin has excellent fine motor skills (again, completely different from his big brother), so loves picking up small things and putting them in his mouth.
We had a nasty few days of sore bottoms, and acidic nappies, but still no sign of teeth – going to have to wait and see. Someone said to me the other day, that the longer you wait for teeth, the better they are (I'm assuming quality). It sounds like another 'placatory mummy comment' to me. But it would be nice to believe.

We spent a lovely afternoon at a local fair in Bounds Green last weekend

Zack is pottering along. He's loving his new ball skills class – Enjoy a Ball – with Nicole and wishes most of Tuesday mornings away so that he can go, at lunchtime. We've moved the trampoline off the deck and into the far corner of the garden, so we can use the deck area. It feels far less claustrophobic now. We're having a lovely summer, so there's ample opportunity for sitting outside of an evening.

My cousins came for lunch 2 weeks ago, and Zack had a ball

His potty training has been successful, and most mornings he'll even get up and poo in the toilet instead of his nappy, which Keith and I think is the best gift.
Because of the state of the house, we don't have a very accessible TV area (it's in our bedroom), so Zack watches quite a few of his favourite CBB's shows on the 'mecuter' (computer), and is becoming incredibly dextrous with a mouse. He's got the hang of where the buttons are for clicking and how to navigate the screen. Ah, another generation eh ?
Our housekeeper, Tina, continues to be an enormous help. She is very willing and very able. She is crazy about Calvin and just wants to cuddle and play with him. Initially Zack was quite enamored with her, but now he's realised she's here to stay (and discipline him), so he needs a few AAK's (attitude adjustment klap) along the way for spitting, blowing razzies, and saying "No!". But he'll get there. Tina had her visa extended yesterday, so she's in high spirits and feeling very relieved. I really feel for her because she's been here almost a decade, but the new "Living in the UK" tests stand between her and getting her residency. I've read the material and some of it is beyond the grasp of a huge percentage of the British populace. They've certainly set the bar high.
My mum is back from her canalboat holiday this afternoon, so we look forward to getting her back. On Monday Nana will be going home to "Africa" (as Zack says), which will be a sad goodbye. Best we make the most of the next few days.
On the house-front, we continue a pace with the dry-rot removal. We've been told it'll be just another week 'till they're finished, then we can get our flooring back. And unwrap the sofas (which were delivered last week, but are standing up-ended, in the front lounge. We're all wishing our way to the kitchen installation, but that'll be sometime yet.

PT success

Zack is now 99% potty trained during the day. We haven't had any accidents in the last two weeks. Calvin was 9 months old yesterday, and is getting along well. Still no teeth, and no sitting. But he's a happy little baby, loves shrieking (new thing), sleeps on his tummy sometimes and has lovely sparkly eyes, just like his brother.

PT - nearly there

It's really strange how things sneak up on you as a parent. You hear it all the time, "they grow up so quickly," etc etc. I feel like we've been on the potty-training treadmill for a millenia and now suddenly Zack has got the message. Today we had NO accidents. Only hiccup was that he insisted on going to bed with no nappy, so I had to let him sleep for a while before I surreptitiously sneaked one on. Only 2 weeks ago we went cold turkey and were cleaning poo out of underpants, and wanting to vomit. And now here we are, and I have no idea what changed, or what was different, or why Zack got it right. I think that peer pressure at nursery has certainly helped because he gave me a very long story this morning about not being a little boy anymore, but that he was a big, big boy. He even pee'd standing up at Jackie's house this morning. I was completely verstom (afrikaans for 'stumped'). I didn't know he could do it.
All very exciting.

This is one of those classic shots of your kid – he SO doesn't want to be in the photo

Zack's nursery outing to Legoland Windsor on Thursday 14th May was great fun. I don't recommend trying to do it alone with 2 small children, but overall we had a great time. Here all his little mates are posing with the 'stars' from the water show (a sort of Indiana Jones style thing, with lots of falling off high towers into the water, jet-ski's and trampoline stunts) – the kids loved them.

PT - some success

Zack is very proud of himself (or it may just be the motivation of getting a lolly), but he has managed to get his wee in the potty a few times this week, and even a poo yesterday. I am very relieved that things are moving ahead in this sphere. I feel like we've been on the potty training (PT) treadmill for a year and a half with very little success.
This week alone, I've had to wipe up a very large puddle of urine in Marks & Spencer, and under the Tombola table at yesterday's Fair. Have I espoused the virtues of muslin clothes before ? I'm sure I have. They have MANY uses.
I'm looking forward to a week of more flushing, and less holding legs in the air to wipe bums

spring is in the air

We took ourselves off to Highgate woods over the weekend, and it was gloriously sunny. Kids running around kicking balls, eating icecream and climbing trees. Just wonderful!
We have hired a housekeeper to help with running the house and staying up to date on washing, cleaning and two untidy little boys. Let's face it, it's only going to get worse - mess wise - before it gets better. Calvin is rolling over, so crawling and sitting are not far away, which will add to the 'containment' issues. LOL.
The house is still a tip, and more so as the dry-rot work continues on and on. They've been here for 5 weeks now and we've gone down to soil in the lounge, the kitchen and now the utility room stairs. They're actually burrowing underneath the entrance hall tiles to find the extremity of the infestation. We're holding our breath to see if it's just a foot or so.
I feel emotionally tired just thinking about it all. And I don't feel like there's a huge amount of down time. Even tho' we have a TV (currently in our bedroom, away from too much dust), I seem to stagger up there at about 10:30pm and switch it on, flick through the channels, then roll over and go to sleep. I'm really not a fan of TV in the bedroom, it seems to eat into my 'self time'.

It's not all about YOU Zack

Enough of the horribly demanding 3 year old...
Calvin is doing so well. He is a very sweet little boy, with a cheery disposition (just like Mary Poppins) and quite placid for the most part. He is now learning to roll sideways.

He loves curling up his feet and playing with his toes. He enjoys the time on his tummy and his neck is getting stronger and stronger. I'm pottering along pretty steadily with the weaning. I'm following the 'baby led weaning' that I did with Zack - giving Calvin lots of things to gnaw on : apple sticks, banana wedges, cooked snap peas, carrots, potato. He does tend to gag on the unusual textures, but he's getting the hang of it.

Calvin & Isabel enjoy an intimate moment at Mudchute Farm

on the upside...

Good news (for once) : I have secured a place for Zack at a nearby nursery, for 3 days a week. It will start next Tuesday. Apparently I can claim £300-500/term for childcare from the government too, because he is over the age of 3. How great is that ? ! ?

despite the photo we had a fabulous time

Today was Zack's 3rd birthday party. Unfortunately he is now in bed with a raging temperature and a little delirious, talking about fish in dark tunnels and spiderman in his bedroom (he's NEVER watched spiderman, so I don't know what he's thinking). Have given him some paracetamol and will check his temp in an hour or so. Currently it's 38.5ºC
The party was an absolute hit : good ratio of adults to children. We had pass the parcel and everyone got a treat. I put out lots of fruit and veggies (in addition to the usual culprits - crisps / sweets), and everything got munched except the tomatoes. We had ice-cream cones towards the end of the afternoon with 'sprinkles' and of course the cake.

Timing is everything....

Jake, Alessio, Zack & Mia pose with their fancy cones

Zack and Keith spent all morning putting up the new trampoline and Dean (one of the daddies) helped Keith attach the net in time for the party to start. It was a complete hit, and everyone jumped and jumped and jumped. I am really pleased it went off so well.

I am now going to sit in bed with a glass of wine - I really miss having a TV and a sofa - and read a book while the kids sleep.

photos from SA holiday

zack chasing sienna and cole on our first Sunday

calvin enjoying a moment on grandpa's lap

back to earth with a thud...

Tomorrow is "exit day" - we fly out of OR Tambo at 21h25. It's going to be interesting to see how I cope with two little 'uns, but I'm not the first and the air hostesses have been very helpful thus far. Once I'm home tho...the daunting task of ripping up the floor and all the "dry rot work" lies ahead - what a pain in the butt. I feel exhausted just thinking about the mess and builders and Aaarrghhhh !
I lean on a verse in Matthew 6 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." [verse 34] - gives you a bit of perspective in all the mania.
On the upside tho' it'll be good to be home again. I can't wait to see the photos that Keith took and also begin the arrangements for Zack's 3rd birthday party next Saturday. Astonishing that he's turning three on Wednesday.

PND and all that

Yes, I know it's been quiet for the last while... it hasn't helped that we haven't had broadband for more than a month, but hey. Most of you know (from my Facebook posts at the least) that we've had a helluva time with the house - discovering dry rot under the kitchen floor (and who knows where else), ten days before we flew out to SA. I'm just hoping when Keith gets home tomorrow that it won't have grown into a forest in a short time. We'll have to wait and see.
I'm staying on in Jo'burg with the boys for another 10 days, which will be good for both Keith (getting up to speed back at the office), and the boys and I (more time with the grannies and cousins). I've been to see a counsellor and GP and have been diagnosed with Post Natal Depression (PND). It's strange, but I've had mixed feelings about talking about it since the diagnosis. I have been prescribed an SSRI antidepressant which I'll take for more than 6 months.

ever onward

It has been quite a week at Chez Guthrie. I've not been the happiest, or healthiest camper. We have however succeeded in interviewing 5 girls for the baby-sitting job, and there was one very clear leader. I am feeling extremely buoyed by Tunde and her willingness and natural affinity for children. It has been a real weight off my shoulders.

We had the locksmith in this week to replace front-door locks and put Chubb locks on all the sash-windows. A huge job, and an expensive one, but it's a good feeling to know that you've done what's necessary. We registered at a new GP practice and Calvin went for his 2nd round of shots too. I have had a nasty bout of oral thrush (candida albicans) for the last month at least, so it was good to go to the doctor's and get some Nystatin. I haven't had a chance to take it regularly enough, but I'm hoping it'll do the trick. I still have a rotten throat and sinus infection, but I'm guessing it's one of those "viral" ones, that the doctor's can't do anything about. Will go and see one in SA!

Yesterday was our 11th anniversary, and we had the wonderful Tunde here to look after the kids and put them to bed, while Keith and I grabbed some supper and went and saw a show together. It was SUCH a treat... it's been ages since we did something so nice. I think we've just been plodding along since Kelly stopped babysitting, and now I feel like we could get back into the 'regular' thing again.

Lenore has lent us a great book entitled "Getting from NO to YES, without bribing or threatening" - I have started it, but will need to take it with me to SA. It is full of great ideas and suggestions for dealing with child-rearing issues. We are taking a bit of strain with young Zack at the moment.

On Friday we went to Amy's place and saw Ruby, Caitlin, Amy & Trish. Both mums' are almost 39 weeks preggie. Whew! Sadly I didn't have the camera with me, only the vid-cam, so I'll have to upload a little clip of the kids playing together. It was delightful (mostly).

It is now midnight, and Calvin has vomited, and got diarea all in one bang. He hasn't been well since the day of his shots when he started with the upset tummy. Yesterday he vomited a huge amount of milk up, but was fine for the rest. Then again today around noon, he did the same thing again - a huge amount of milk came up (ages after a feed) – and then 'all fine' for the rest of the afternoon. He is looking quite pale, but his breathing is OK and he's still alert. I've decided to put him back to bed and feed him as soon as he wakes up again. Poor little guy - he really isn't well at all :(

settling in

We've been here for 2 weeks now, and I'm finally starting to feel more at ease. Zack and I went off to the Mum & Tots group on Monday. I felt a bit shell-shocked afterwards - no-one spoke to me, or even made a comment. There were about 50 kids there, so the place was heaving. It made me realise just how wonderful "Chatterbox" is (our 'old' group in Limehouse). The east enders are a friendly bunch - because so many of them are immigrants. Here it's one-big-homogenous-cakeslice who don't really need new friends, so they don't try . It means I'm going to have to put in some extra effort to "break the ice" as it were; it's not all bad tho.... We went along to the Woman's Bible study group at church yesterday morning and they run a creche. It worked out very well - Zack had a ball with the older boys, and played the piano a bit with the girls. I had to drag him away at the end. Calvin slept thru' the entire episode, so no complaints there. It is good to be surrounded by mums with kids the same age. Afterwards I bumped into 2 or 3 of them walking home, which adds to the sense that this is a community. Things are looking up!

Getting things sorted out at home is taking night after night of our energy : I got to IKEA at 9pm last night. It's a good thing as I managed to find a blind & curtain for the kid's bedroom. I had spent two sessions at our local John Lewis (department store) looking at curtains & blinds earlier this week, but to no avail. The ready-made ones are all too short. I suppose the other thing is that IKEA's stuff is fine (and they fit) and doesn't cost the earth. I found blinds for the study too, and the difference in cost is more than £1000!! And not for a vastly different creature either I might add.
The fridge arrived on Tuesday which was fabulous. And it's a monster ! It is nice to have the space after living out of a bar-fridge for almost 2 weeks. You think you'll never fill these things, and then steadily all the stuff creeps in.

Zack has been up & down this week. Some days he's been lovely and really interactive, enthusiastic, participated well, communicated well. Other days we've just come to loggerheads all day - those are the hardest days for me, because by 5pm my patience is gone and I turn into the disciplinarian. Keith's hours are still not too good, so he gets home well after the kid's bedtime which isn't really part of the plan. One night this week I was so tired of fighting with Zack that I got him out of the bath at 7:30 and then said to him that he could do whatever he wanted until daddy got home to read him a story and put him to bed. Keith walked in at 8:40pm and wondered why Zee was still up.
Another night this week, I just went to bed at 8:30pm - as soon as Keith got home. It's emotionally exhausting and I hardly get enough sleep anyway. It was good to be asleep for an extra few hours.

Calvin is 24 weeks tomorrow, and is getting over his conjunctivitis. It's one of those funny infections that kids get, and you really just need to be persistent about cleaning. I would like to have another round of 'shots' before we leave for South Africa. Unfortunately we aren't yet registered with a new GP here in Muzzies, so I'll probably have to go to the Barkantine to get it done. It's not all bad - will make it part of a trip to sort out the flat in Coldharbour. That is another saga, for another blog. Suffice it to say, the flat is getting fixed up and we should be able to put it on the rental market in the next week or so.

It is two weeks until we fly to South Africa and I am counting down. I CANNOT wait to be there and just rest a bit. It will be blissful having the grannies, aunties and uncles around to play with the kids and spoil them with attention and games. My poor hands and feet need lots of TLC - moving house ruins them, especially in a harsh winter like this one.

I have tried & tried to find a baby sitter to replace (the wonderful) Kelly. It's been hard work. I have still not actually managed to meet a potential candidate, but roll on next week, when I will line up some eager girls. I'm hoping to also make the time to see the local nursery (across the road) and find out about the Open Days at the local Montessori's (there are two).

how bad can it be ?

Pretty bloody awful to be fair. We moved in last week Friday - so it's been a week now - and I don't think I've felt quite this low in a long time. There have been a few big issues with the house. When we moved in we were aware that we'd need to do a few bits and bobs to make it more liveable.
As it turned out none of the showers worked properly : the first one's shower head just poured water out the top of it - useless! That bathroom has no door, and nor does the actual shower, so the water splashes everywhere including the bedroom carpet. The next shower, although convenient (it's an en suite) didn't have a mixer that worked. That meant you could only get scalding hot water. The hand shower isn't wall mounted, so you have to pick all the bits off the floor if you want to use them.
The last shower was leaking like a sieve... straight into the utility room downstairs. Turned out the shower tray hasn't been properly attached to the wall, or sealed. On top of that we've had taps that leak, and handles that fall off.
What really pushed me right over the edge yesterday tho' was the washing machine. I'd carefully timed the booking of the plumber (who has repaired most of what I've listed above), to follow the delivery of the new machine. But Keith decided that he could plumb it in and it would be fine. He couldn't have been more wrong. Yesterday was extremely stressful with so much to do between the plumber leaving, and then me driving down to the Docklands to leave Zack & Calvin with friends, so that I could attend Keith's Xmas Party. Add to this a husband who remembers at the last minute that it's black tie, and now I need to find a tux, a dress shirt and a waistcoat somewhere, in some cupboard or box, in one room or another, in a very messy house that is full of boxes. We went without a bowtie in the end!
Anyway... I set the machine to wash and before I left home I heard it spinning and it was the most awful noise. I went downstairs, to see that it was bouncing around all over the place and it's too heavy for me to move, so I just took everything off the top of it and put it on the floor. I rang Keith to say so, and he said, "Just put a towel at the door of the room so that if it floods, the water won't run onto the hardwood flooring." Guess what !? We went out to this party in central London, it finished after 12:30. We left the Docklands after 1:30am, so we only got home around 2:30am and my beautiful new washing machine had been banged against the wall and radiator. It had ripped itself out of the waste pipe, so all the waste water had filled the utility room and guest loo. Everything that I'd moved on the floor was sodden - 2 boxes of washing powder, a large bag of dirty clothes, all the instruction manuals and warranties, the neat pile of building rubble from the plumber, who'd had to cut a hole in the ceiling to find the leak from the shower, etc etc etc. I just wanted to weep. You don't feel very strong at 3am, especially after all the stuff that's needed fixing already.
There is so much washing to be done and now I don't have a machine that works - because it's not level, AND I cannot make it level. I can't go to the laundromat because I can't control 2 small children for 2 or 3 hours in a confined space with nothing to do. Besides, it's raining and snowing so we can't exactly play outside can we?
Keith blames it entirely on the fact that John Lewis took away the one piece of equipment that he needed to level the machine - a special LG spanner. It's unusually large so nothing we have fits it. Brilliant!
After all that, lying in bed at 4am, I hear a drip-drip-drip, and it's the basin in our en-suite. It's started leaking too (apparently because Keith bumped it). Honestly, you start thinking "what next?".

Calvin carries on regardless. He is incredibly placid and easy-going. The only time he really gets upset is when he's hungry and is being ignored. Unfortunately he's now got conjunctivitis in his right eye. Poor little blighter.
I am not coping at all well with Zack's behaviour at the moment. He is being deliberately VERY naughty, throwing things down the stairs and acting up. It's a very very hard time indeed. I have not had to scream at him so much in a very long time. I feel quite hoarse from all the shouting I've had to do this morning. He is incredibly defiant and stubborn. Everything is "No Mommy", or "I'll tell my Daddy" (obviously a classic that he's picked up at nursery), and the last resort, "You not my friend Mommy!" Please tell me this isn't going to last ? I just hate every minute of it.

You're probably wondering how we're all doing in the snow and sleet ? I think I have more than enough on my plate right now... but I did manage to take Zack out to play in it. He didn't like that it was so cold. I will upload some photos soon.

On top of everything Zack and I baked some snickerdoodles yesterday (type of biscuit) which turned out really well. He took 18 of them to Greg & Charlie as a treat.

out of touch ?

Well, yesterday was the big "packing up" day and all of our worldly possessions are now in a van somewhere on the A12. Zack has been really psyched about the move, jumping around and shouting. He's decided that his bed, and mummy and daddy's bed are going in his room! It's very emotional saying goodbye to everything here in the East of London, after almost 9 years in the area. But we've had a chance to say our farewells to each group of friends, and Zack's nursery friends too, so I don't feel like we're rushing out the door. As luck would have it, I'm back at church tomorrow for a cookery course, Zack has a birthday party in the afternoon, and I have a party in the evening too, so we'll hardly be gone for 20 hours!

Full On
The daunting task of caring for two little people at home 24/7 now lies ahead of me, but I'm hoping that I'll quickly find mum & tot groups to attend, and that going to church on Sunday will open doors to local goings-on and a mum's bible study too. Whew! Big changes.
We are saying goodbye to our nanny, Kelly, who lives in south-east London. It's too far for her to travel on Mondays and Fridays. We are very sad to see her go, but I'm hoping that we'll be able to stay in touch. Zack is very fond of her, and she of him – it's much more than just a job.
I'm not sure at this point in time what the child-care arrangements are going to be. I've looked into the two Montessori schools nearby. There is a nursery over-the-road, so I'll check that out next week. I'll need to start interviewing baby-sitters again, so there's a list of things for me to do in that regard.

at least poo washes off

Today Zack found a permanent marker - yes, I am entirely to blame (packing up house means there are scissors, packing tape and marker pens lying around) - and coloured in his bed linen and his toy monkey. God is very wise and allows time to pass and for you to see the funny side of things. If I'd been writing this at 2:30pm today I would have had to censor the entry - I was fuming. They aren't wrong when they say that you must tackle stains immediately because I did manage to get most of it off monkey's face, but I'm afraid his body and tail are "coloured in" for life.


Blessed relief:
Calvin is now sleeping for more than 6 hours at a stretch! So we are getting more sleep and feeling a little more able. Now all I have to do is get Keith to go to bed before 12:30 and we'll have made progress :(

unhappy puppy

You could say that I am grumpy. I don't think that I've ever had a "cold" (NHS for viral infection) that has been this painful before IN MY LIFE. My throat and sinuses are so sore that I want to just start drinking & sniffing anaesthetic. I feel like the back of my throat is covered in lesions - every swallow is excruciating. The inside of my mouth feels like I've burnt it, which makes me wonder whether I don't have oral thrush - I caught it from Zack when he was very small, so I do have some memory of that experience. The one good thing is that my nose is relatively clear, so I can actually breath. But that's where it stops. I took a good look at myself in the mirror this afternoon and thought, "hell, you look like you're on cortisone" - my throat is so swollen that it looks like the underside of my chin and neck have fused. I can't sniff because it's so sore, but blowing my nose is just as painful.
Hey, did I mention that my ears ache too ?

the news

Hurrah ! We will complete on the new house on the 26th of January. Which means we can move in any time after that.
The sad news is that Kelly, our nanny, has decided not to come with us to North London because of the distance. This is really heart-breaking for me as I had so hoped to have some kind of familiarity in the new environment for Zack. But, I suppose, what will be, will be. Perhaps we can arrange a few trips to see Kelly in the first month.
Thankfully, we only have to get ourselves through 4 weeks and then we'll be off to SA & glorious sunshine, and time with family. That should be enough time for me to at least settle us in, find a few kiddy activities nearby, and look at a nursery for Zee.

Every journey starts with a single step. I've called the removal company, so now we need to decided on a date !

Run Down
I am one sick puppy. I've had an ENT infection for nearly 2 weeks now, and the doctor told me to take paracetamol - $&%@”™ idiot ! I've been having progressively worse and worse night's sleep, so I feel pretty broken right now. I took myself off to the doctor again today, and initially she went the Iboprofen / Paracetamol route, and I just thought, "forget this!"... so I had a jolly good cry and said that it wasn't good enough. That I needed to be healthy to cope with being a mother, and that paracetamol, et al, wasn't cutting it. She said I needed rest. I told here, there is no rest with 2 children. She said I should speak to my health visitor. Yeah, yeah, haven't we heard that one before. In the end she gave in and prescribed some penicillin. I'm hoping it'll make a difference because I could happily cut my head off at the moment, it feels so awful. I'm sure my glands in my throat are the size of plums. Swallowing is an effort. And on top of it all, I still have very swollen eye-lids after 7 days. Thankfully you can't prescribe paracetamol for that too! She said it's probably a viral conjuctivitis so I need to bathe them with distilled water. Watch this space....

backwards is forwards

Zack is now walking backwards with confidence. You may think, "so what?!" but it's a significant developmental milestone. He is still crazy about cars, building roads out of bricks and blocks, and his trainset. His behaviour continues to be up & down: we have the most delightful moments when we giggle together and tell one another 'secrets', and egg each another on to do silly things, but he is struggling to control his feelings of frustration. The latest outlet is spitting and rasberries. I tell myself, it could be worse, but it still needs to be monitored. There is a thin line between a casual rasberry and defiance, disrespect and just plane rude.
Calvin is doing well - he is now lifting his little feet up and kicking his baby gym dangle-doodads. He's interacting more and more, catching your eye across the room and giving you a big smile. He is determined to eat his fingers, which may (or may not) be the early signs of teething.
My neighbour, Huma, came to tea yesterday and we chatted about all things baby. She mentioned that she'd been for a BCG with Aneeq at the Barkantine, and they'd given him an out of date one, and admistered it incorrectly. She is a paediatrician so would notice if someone had pinched the skin or not, etc etc. It made me take a look at Calvin's immunisation chart, and I saw that I haven't had ANY of them (besides the BCG, which is an enormous, swollen, ugly scab on his shoulder right now). What's the matter with me ? He's missed his 8 week, his 12 week and his 16 week jabs. Consequently we have an appointment on Monday morning at 8:15am for the first round! Naughty mummy.

two things...

I've given up the unequal struggle and am now formula-feeding Calvin 100%. Unfortunately there is almost no way of keeping up when bottles are easy to drink from. Now that I've tried to express to chase up the milk production I can see just how little is being produced by moi. Well, 4 months is better than a kick in the pants eh ?!

Having listened to well-meaning mummies, and parenting books, all of whom have their own agendas, I am encouraged by some reading I did in the Good Book last night :
Proverbs 18:18
Discipline your son while there is hope,
And do not desire his death.
Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13
Do not hold back discipline from the child,
Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.

Sometimes you get so tired of "drawing the line" and telling them off. But reading this makes me see that I need to just persevere. And.. before you freak out and call the NSPCC try reading these in context - what the themes are, who wrote Proverbs, and why.

Congratulations - London & Mackay!

Huge congratulations to my cousin Christopher, Sarah and little Lucas on safe arrivals on the 29th of Dec. Chris, he looks like a real little bossie. Sarah - hope you're doing OK after the C-section honey. Take things easy if you can.

Congratulations to my mate Kim and her partner Nick on the birth of little Stanley - eagerly anticipated. Well done you two !

we love trains and cars

Zack is a typical boy - he just loves cars. He got a train set for Christmas from us, and is FINALLY learning to play by himself. It is a real help, as we've been trying to encourage it for ages.

chrissy

Calvin is making good progress and the current stage is staring intensely at his hands - "What are these things?" - he goes quite squint with the effort. He is full of smiles and giggles too, which makes for great relief from the toddler tantrums with his older brother. Only frustration in the last 24 hours has been his resistance to breast-feed. He went purple last night, crying, because mummy wanted him to take the breast and he was having none of it. It's annoying because the bottle is obviously easier to feed from, but if I don't keep up the feeding that'll be it. I am too tired to express milk every 3 hours.

For a little Festive Fun, we took Zack on the carousel at the O2 on Saturday night. Initially he wasn't sure about the motion of forward and up & down at the same time - we had just eaten dinner. But by the second or third revolution it was all smiles and waving at mummy and the camera. Of course it was, "Let's do it again!" when they got off.

Pineapple

Granny has gone home and we miss her alot. We had a lovely moment with Zack, when she'd been saying to him, "Zack you are my honey-bun, sugar-lump" and he responded with, "Granny, you are my pineapple". Aren't kids great ! ? !

Calvin is doing well, and getting heavier. His head's still quite wobbly, but he's getting some tummy time and I hope that'll remedy things. He is full of smiles and chatter, it's really cute to see his personality coming through now. He spends alot of time staring at his hands, and clasping them together.


Zack is as "spirited" and "lively" as ever. We had a helluvah weekend with him, and Keith and I were both pretty tired of his tantrums and bad behaviour by the end of it. How many times can a kid go to his room in one day ? But then yesterday (Monday) was great, and we played with his cars on the lounge carpet for most of the day - his current favourite activity - and we went for a haircut which he was very brave doing. He was most upset by the hair in his mouth, but by the end had a lolly in his hand (also with hair on it, but he didn't seem to care) and was marching determinedly out the door. He is putting prepositions into sentences now and it's made for even better conversations and role playing. When it comes to giving instructions (which Zack is very good at! LOL) it has changed things forever. We really do know where we stand now.

way away

Yeah, sorry - no news for two weeks because we've been away in Devon (Dartmoor National Park), and pushing forward on the house-purchase, and juggling balls, and being a mummy, and co-ordinating calendars, and looking for a baby-sitter, hosting visitors, planning Xmas day, etc etc.
Good news is that Christmas came early for me this year in the form of Keith's mum. While we've been away she's faithfully got up each morning at around 4am and fed Calvin so that I can sleep. Wow! I really do feel like a different person. He is thriving and smiling more and more. He can be very chatty and likes to gurgle and coo - it's all very endearing.
Zack has been a little bored being away with no other children to play with, and a limited selection of toys. That said, we made an effort to take him outside and "run him" around - the golf driving range, the trampoline, the grounds of where we were staying. You could say that he is still very spirited, and it certainly kept mummy and daddy on their toes with all the 'acting up' while we were away. Now that we're back in London, in a routine, with all the usual faces and activities, he's like a different child. Yesterday, he was the happiest I've seen him in a long while – rushing around with Kelly, hugging and kissing us all, playing games, singing songs and being the delightful Zack we know so well. Amazing!
Tomorrow is Calvin's follow-up appointment with Dr. Moncado and we'll see what she has to say about a) his weight gain b) his head control c) other concerns she may have thought of in the interim.

He's a genius I tell you !

Zack is totally a genius... take a look at this drawing and tell me he isn't years ahead of his age!

A scarecrow I am told... tho' it may be just a head, eyes and hair.
Still, I'm am way, way, way impressed with my son's drawing ability.

Ah, go 'n boil your 'ed

Whoop-dee-doo! Back at the health visitor again today. Calvin has gained all of 200g since last week - this means that he weighs nearly what Zack did when he was born (3.87kgs). The reason for the visit however, was the doctor's concern over Calvin's head control. As it turns out, they feel things haven't improved at all. That said, she also found fault with his breathing - as I've mentioned before, he has had a cold for sometime (in fact we all have), which makes his breathing quite laboured when he drinks milk. When he's relaxed, his breathing is just fine. She said that what worried her was that he may have a complication with his larynx - a condition she had seen before in slightly prem babies. And then the real gem: he has mottled skin ! She wanted to know if his skin had always been like that. I said yes, and that I had taken it for healthy fat. She did the pressure test to see if his circulation had been affected by the dread-mottled-ness. All fine!
I am completely defensive about all of this. I have a fat rant at Keith after each doctor's appointment. What makes me mad is that it is ALL negative news. Everything that gets discussed is under-this, behind-that, not developed-the next thing. There's not one mention of what's going right. If I wasn't a second time mum, I'd be a bit suicidal by now, in fact, I would've checked myself into the hospital to get this all sorted out - once and for all.
Apparently we'll get a paediatric referral if things haven't improved with his head-control, next time. Maybe that isn't a bad thing.

"Yesterday" – discussing time with Zack
Zack is growing more and more curious about time. He now often asks me "what's the time Mummy?", and when I pick him up from play-school, he'll say "it's not late ?". Our favourite though, is the use of the word "yesterday": Zack uses it for all things past tense. This could mean an hour ago, earlier today, yesterday (for real), last week, or even last month. It's really cute, but can be helluv confusing for anyone who's listening to Zack's story of what's transpired in his recent experience. It seems like yesterday was the busiest day in any human being's life, when in fact, it's just the concertina effect of time.

Breast vs. Bottle
I'm feeling a bit despondent about breast-feeding. I'm trying as hard as I can to keep Calvin on the breast, but he finds the bottle pretty easy to feed from (even tho' I'm using those 0+months teats), and loses interest in the breast after more than 20/25 mins. Sometimes it doesn't feel like he's completely drained it either. I keep thinking I should go back to breast-only, and that way my milk supply will pick up and stay up. In the current situation I feel like my milk production is slowing down as the formula-use continues (with no end in sight because of the weight-gain issues). Hmmm... what to do ?

shattered, but fatter

Hurrah! the child weighs 500g more than last week = 3.7kgs. Our efforts at extra feeding have paid off and the lady at the clinic is pleased too. I still have to go next week for the check-up regarding his neck/shoulder strength, but hey... small victories.
At what price ? Well, we are more sleep deprived than we've been in some time. I'm shedding obligations like a persian cat near a velvet jacket, in an attempt to stay sane. We're taking it in turns to sleep between 5am and 7am. Keith has an awful cough that he can't kick, which is keeping him up. We all have stuffy noses - thankfully, I seem to be getting over mine.

I don't know about you, but there are few things more yuck-O than toddler's green, slimey or crusty noses. If I get the chance I'm shoving a tissue at Zack and telling him to blow. This morning I had, had it, and got out some ear-buds and cleaned Zack's nose. He had a model nose after that for all of 30 minutes, until it started streaming. Tsk tsk... nice one Ruth.

two months and nothing to celebrate

Mums don't have a lot of good to say about "health visitors"... perhaps we're all so tired, and so emotional; and they so seldom have anything comforting or congratulatory to say, that the cumulative effect is bad karma. I'm not sure; but I can say that right now I'm feeling pretty hard done by. Today was Calvin's "six week check", altho' he is 2 months old. The negative feedback I got was:
a) he has poor head control (ie. no shoulder strength)
b) he is malnourished - only weighs 3.2kgs at 8 weeks
I'm gutted! I've felt horribly emotional about it all day. I followed the health visitor's advice and topped up his midday feed with formula. By 5:30pm he had vomited up most of his milk of the afternoon - all over himself, the car seat, zack's jacket. I think the hardest thing to stomach is the fact that I've been getting up 2 or 3 times a night to feed him, and he's "malnourished". It just all seems so pointless to me ! I'm hardly in good shape, I have very little patience, am exhausted and my reward - a starving baby ! Fanks alot.

an audience

Andy, my brother, arrived yesterday morning from Johannesburg, to spend 9 days with us. It is just fabulous having him here, and not just for me but for Zack and Keith and Calvin too - in order of enthusiasm! Andy has boundless "uncle-energy" for Zack and doesn't tire of the "do it again" demands. It's been a fun 2 days, and I'm looking very forward to a bit of "alone time" with Andy this week when m'lord is at nursery and out with Kelly at the library.

Calvin at 7 weeks yesterday - 18 October 2008

always a battle

I know there are quite a few parents who read this blog, and perhaps one of you can shed a little light on this issue : Why is it always a battle to get a toddler to do something ? They have no concept of time and punctuality. They will not get dressed. They will not get undressed. They will not put their shoes on. They will not go to bed. They will not get into the bath. They will not get out of the bath either. They choose the MOST horrendous moments for picking a fight - like when you are on the phone, and preferably long-distance. Or they throw a tantrum when your husband is on the phone to his boss.
And yet, they can be absolutely charming. Delightful. Innocence itself.
Who is this little Janus-faced monster-angel that inhabits our home ?

In the news : I see I'm not alone.. this poor mum in Munich, Germany, obviously got enough flack from her toddler to make a point. http://www.thelocal.de/14951/20081016/

sh*t city

On Sunday we took mum to a lovely lunch buffet at the Four Seasons Canary Wharf. We were enjoying our meal and taking it in turns to visit the buffet - child supervision in these environments is essential. I stood up to go and help myself to some lunch when I glanced down at Zack's bright blue shirt which had an enormous yellow semi-circle at the bottom. Oh boy ! that can only mean one thing... a HUGE poo ! Problem was that I didn't have any clean clothes for him, and when Keith looked in the baby bag, he couldn't find any wipes either. Sheesh! Zack certainly knows how to choose his moments. He has never missed an embarassing opportunity to poo. I dashed home for clean clothes, and Keith found some wipes on his second look in the baby bag.
We'd recently moved onto Pamper's Pull Up nappies which fit more snuggly than the Baby Dry brand - that could account for some of the mess. It was pretty awful, but thankfully no poo fell on the floor - I would have died if that'd happened. Keith and Zack ended up in the men's loo, where I dropped off the clean clothes. Suffice it to say, they returned clean and shiny and the rest of the afternoon passed without event. What a day!

the ordeal, part 2

Keith was ushered into an adjoining room once I was 'under', and within 10 minutes was aware that Calvin had been born. Obviously I have no memory of what happened, but he tells me that they had to get Calvin breathing and had him under the lights for a while, but he was soon passed to Keith. I'd lost about 3,5 litres of blood (freaks me out, just thinking about it!), so they had to transfuse about 4 units as well as giving me some platelets. Apparently I came out of theatre after 10pm, so it was more than 2 hours. I'm very grateful to the surgeon - she DID do a good job and I have a thin, red line below my current belly (overhang). There weren't really any stitches to see, they were the disolving type. I was pretty exhausted for most of Sunday and don't remember much.
On Monday morning, an old friend of mine, Pohgek, popped in to visit (she'd expected to find me in the antenatal ward, so was a bit surprised to find I'd had the baby) and I was horribly emotional when she walked in - bursting into tears and sobbing. But once I'd had my little moment, I felt much better and it was great to have company.
By Monday afternoon tho' I was feeling much, much better and on Monday night at 11pm they rolled me out of ICU/ HDU and to the post natal ward. I was pretty stoopid tho' and didn't take any pain-killers, so that when I woke up at around 2 or 3 am, I was in A-G-O-N-Y, and had a tiny baby to feed. Thankfully the midwife popped in, took a bottle of formula and fed Calvin while I sat in the bathroom sobbing from pain. Yeah ! the joys.
Tuesday I felt a bit better...
Wednesday I was ready to go home.

visual record : 4 to 5 weeks old

I've realised that there isn't nearly as much time to take photos of your second child as there were with the first. I'm trying to be good and force myself to do so, whenever the opportunity presents itself. Already I feel guilty as we have no videos of young Calvin in his early days - something I must remedy. These were all taken in the last week or so...

a family outing

On Sunday we headed out to the Natural History Museum with Zack, to see the Dinosaur exhibition. Yes, we've been before but that was during school holidays and it was insane. A rainy Sunday is a huge improvement, and he and Keith thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Afterwards we met up with Caryl, Claire, Pete & Liz (some of the Cape Town family) for tea on the Brompton Road. It was a fun afternoon and quite manageable.

indian summer

We've joined the National Trust, and on two consecutive days took ourselves off to "local" properties to enjoy all they have to offer. These photos were taken on day 2, down in Esher (near Jackie and Claudio) where they have a lovely lake, children's playground and woodlands. The kids had a ball running around like maniacs, climbing trees, marching (Zack's current favourite), kicking a ball and messing around on the playground equipment.

Claudio, Zack and Alessio wrap up our
afternoon at the children's playground

weigh in

Good news : Calvin was weighed by the midwife yesterday afternoon and he has managed to pick up 350g!! Hooray. We were discharged from the midwife care for Mile End / Barkantine. This means that we only have to go to the fortnightly baby clinic to be weighed.

Congratulations : Johannesburg

Well done Kate ! and welcome little Faith Hannah, a sister to Bethany, and second daughter to Bruce & Kate. We are so pleased you managed to make it to term – Congratulations!

weight wait

They weighed Calvin again today, and he hasn't gained any weight in the last week - still only 2.4kgs. A breast-feeding specialist is going to visit tomorrow to see how I'm doing and offer some advice. It seems like the general opinion is to keep feeding, see if he'll take the other breast too, top up with EBM (expressed breast-milk) where necessary. That's fine with me. At this point though, I AM NOT getting my knickers in a knot about whether there's enough milk, etc. If push comes to shove, I will supplement with formula. I don't mind at all.
Something we didn't discuss which may have a bearing on all this, is that Calvin was circumcised last Thursday, and he's had a very snuffly nose / cold, which may have affected his ability and desire to feed. In all other respects he is doing well - sleeping well, feeding well, lovely and alert when he is awake during the late afternoon and early evening, keeping us on the hop with nappy-changing.
I'll say this though, it's quite a reality check when you change a little (breast-fed) baby poo, and then have to do Zack's full blown stinkers within 10 minutes of one another. I can't wait for the elder to be potty trained (sigh). Roll on that day !

Congratulations : Stanmore

Heartfelt congratulations to Omar & Naz on the birth of a beautiful baby boy - Yahya on Monday afternoon. I'm so sorry to hear it was so traumatic, but pleased that you're both safe and hope the jaundice will clear in the next day or two. Well done Naz ! Keep smiling Omar !

Congratulations : Pretoria

My wonderful friend Yolande gave birth to their third child this week - Michiel Petrus Felix. According to daddy, things went along very smoothly. Congratulations friends !

the ordeal

Sometimes it's important to tell your story. I've found that listening to other women's experiences of birth has been both cathartic and restorative. The aim of this account is probably the former (at this point in time), with hopefully the latter's benefits.
At the outset, I'd also advise people who haven't given birth, not to read the account. I'm almost certain that what I've been through is NOT the run-of-the-mill birth experience, and I don't want to freak you out – God knows how hard I found it the first time 'round with Zack and people were warning me of 5 days of labour and all the associated horrors. You don't need to know until you've been through your own experience. Then it's just good for comparisons!

How it all started :
I've been writing about this low lying placenta issue for some time now, so you probably have an idea of what's entailed. So I'd been comforting myself with the thought that I hadn't had any bleeding and this was a GOOD sign. As it turned out, on Wednesday morning, I got out of bed, went to the loo, and discovered that I'd started bleeding. Keith drove me through to the hospital - The Royal London, (yes, the one I was afraid of going to) - and we were admitted to the labour ward. We were seen by an obstetrician who advised me to stay on for 24 hours of observation as she said small bleeds like this one, were often followed by more severe bleeding. As things turned out, she was right. This first bleed - the "herald bleed" - was the beginning of my placenta and uterus parting company. I spent the rest of Wednesday flat on my back in the ante-natal ward bed with an IV in my arm, just in case. Our first night was blissfully quiet, and I slept better than I had in weeks.

Thursday, more bleeding :
On Thursday morning, feeling decidedly grubby and desperately in need of some shampoo, I psyched myself up for a shower. I got myself into the communal bathroom, put out all the toiletries and clean clothes, and then there was a huge gush of blood. The scary thing was that I couldn't stop it, just like when your waters break, it just came rushing out, and there was no accompanying pain. After cleaning myself up, I went in search of a midwife and politely said that I'd had a 'big bleed'. Looking back, this is laughable - how terribly polite and British of me ! I should've run out into the hallway, starkers, screaming "I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding" (sob, sob). I always go dead calm in a crisis... not always the best reaction.
After that it was more observation back in the labour ward, and listening to baby's heartbeat on the CTG. I certainly got my fill of CTG's on this hospital stay – regular as clockwork ! Baby continued on his steady path, so no concerns there, and my uterus wasn't showing any regular contractions so we weren't in early labour. This meant I was back to the ante-natal ward for observation.
Thursday night was crazy – there were 18 women labouring through the night, and a woman opposite me who had the lowest pain threshold (screaming for Allah, dilated 1cm and wouldn't take any pain relief) which wasn't helped by her mother and mother-in-law being at the bedside, or the fact that she would not go for a walk to help things along. Sheesh!

Friday and all's well :
Friday morning I befriended a fellow patient, a New Yorker, who'd been admitted at about 3am. She was just hilarious, and kept us amused recounting tales of the previous night and her own pregnancy experiences - it did alot to buoy my spirits. Friday passed quietly, and Keith and Zack visited in the evening (Zack with a huge shiner from falling off his scooter). One of the midwives took the time to come and talk to me about placenta praevia, and warned me against any thoughts of going home. I had been longing to get a "day pass" on Sunday so that we could go to Alessio's Christening in Surbiton - Keith and I are God-parents. But it wasn't to be.
As she explained, the situation I was in, was very high risk: I could begin to hemorrhage at any moment. I could not afford to be away from a delivery suite or operating theatre, that's how serious it was. They had already matched 4 units of blood for me, should the need arise. She really put the wind up me with this frank discussion and I decided that it was best to let the medical profession take over. Earlier in the day, the consultant had booked me in for a Caesarean Section for the following Thursday, as baby would've been 38 weeks then.

Saturday :
Saturday was also quiet, with friends popping in for a visit in the afternoon. This was the first time I'd actually sat up (in a chair) in 3 days, and I sat for more than 2 hours chatting to them. They left in the late afternoon, and at about 6:30pm the NY mate was packing up and about to be discharged - I stood up to say goodbye. Suddenly it was all systems go - my body started pouring blood onto the floor. I called for a midwife, carefully took off my slippers and gown, grabbed my cellphone, and was ordered into a wheelchair. As they pushed me through to the labour ward, I rang Keith, who'd only recently gone home to give Zack dinner, and said that I was gushing blood and was almost certainly going into theatre.
He dropped Zack off with Greg & Charlie, and rushed over.

The big event:
Again, things happen in slow motion in your memory, and I remember having to get onto a bed in the labour ward, and there just being blood, blood, blood. I couldn't stop it, and it didn't hurt at all. I was calm. People were running and shouting, and I was following instructions. I was pushed through into theatre, and lifted onto a narrow gurney (maybe it was the operating table). People were monitoring the baby's heartbeat, and my arms were out on supports. Keith turned up at this point, and I was so relieved to see him. The anesthetist was trying to find another vein in my arm, but was so stressed out. He tried twice in my left wrist and failed, and then twice in the right wrist. Thankfully that fourth attempt succeeded, but by then I was ready to shout at him to calm down. I was dead calm thinking "I wonder what it feels like to bleed out", "I wonder what'll happen if I die now?", "What about Keith?", "What about Zack?". Keith was looking quite pale and went to sit down in a corner. I could feel the blood just pouring out, more and more. Midwives were wiping it up. I asked who'd be doing the cutting and the stitching and a woman came forward – I explained to her that I keloid really badly and would appreciate it if she could sew me back up nicely. She said that I wasn't to worry, that she'd take special care in doing so. That's what I needed to hear - someone who was calm and unmoved by the panic going on around me.
The anesthetist asked me to roll onto my side and and curl up as much as I could, so that he could try and do the spinal block (local anesthetic for C-Section). This is pretty hard when you're so far gone (37 weeks pregnant), and I found that the more I tried to curl up on the narrow table, the worse the bleeding got - I could literally feel it squelching out with every movement I made. Keith said it was pouring onto the floor, so I guess it had got beyond bad. They decided the hemorrhaging was severe and the only path was a general anesthetic. And so it was that I put the oxygen mask on, said goodbye to Keith, and started counting while I felt them swab my abdomen with iodine and then the coolness of it being poured over me. And then I slept, a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

(more to come)

Congratulations : Singapore

Welcome to little James Ryan de Oude, born yesterday evening, to Walt & Cindy. Well done Cindy, we're so pleased the wait is over !

Calvin Richard Guthrie arrives

My placenta and uterus parted company on Saturday evening and I was rushed into theatre for an emergency C-section. Stats : weight 2.5kgs (6lbs); born at 19h31. It was pretty traumatic, and I'll put a more comprehensive report on the blog in the coming days, but for now, enjoy the pics and the good news that our baby boy is safely here, and his mum is making steady progress. Whew ! What an ordeal.

Congratulations : Enfield

Timothy holds his baby sister

Richard & Jenny had a safe and relatively quick delivery with their second - a bouncing baby girl, Hannah Megan. Well done Jenny !!

Congratulations : Sydney

Awesome news : my dear friends Geraldine & Andrew in Sydney, Australia, had their baby girl yesterday afternoon. Andrew delivered her in the car park of the hospital because she was in such a hurry to get here. Geraldine and baby are both fine and resting up. Good job, the Dad, we are well impressed!