In the wars

** the website will be updated tonight.

Uh Oh...
the doctor wasn't wrong when he said that walking = head injuries. On friday Zack stumbled while pushing his way between two sofas. Whacked his head on a table corner - blood nose, nasty bruising, and a very unhappy boy. He'd scraped his knee on the asphalt on Thursday morning, which means that every time he falls over now (every minute or so), he's miserable because it hurts. AND he's teething again.

Yeeouch. It never stops, does it ?

summer holidays

We've had a glorious two weeks of sunshine in Croatia - 30˚C every day, with clear skies and a light breeze. One or two days of a cloud which is always welcome. Zack travelled well, and was kind to Keith and I yesterday in that he slept all the way home on the airplane, despite having woken at 5am. Blessed respite!

On the holiday we discovered how much we love balls, that ants are always in a hurry and we can squash them with our finger altho' this isn't intentional. Anything we find is good for eating (eeuuuwwww!), but best of all we like ice-cream when it's hot, and preferably all to ourselves. The world is still my best friend. I can now wave at everyone, and say 'bye bye' if I feel like it. I am not walking by myself, this is too much for me, I am only prepared to walk when attached to either mum or dad's finger. I am still biting out of frustration, and wailing when I get told off, or smacked for indulging my frustration by repeating the action. I love my Gruffalo book, and especially the frogs, the butterfly, the wood-pecker and the squirrels.

I am delighted to be home where I can climb all the stairs again, and play with my toys. My teeth have decided that this is the perfect moment to begin erupting, so I'm not sleeping too well at night. Poor mum & dad, they look shattered today !

MMR and progress

Yesterday was a big day - Zack had his last "shot" until he's 3 years old. The MMR jab, and the Pneumococcal jab were in each thigh (poor little chap), and he wailed until he noticed there were keys hanging from the doctor's drawer bureau. Aren't children funny ?
When we got home in the afternoon, Zack was holding the keys to the front door. He carefully pulled out the correct key in the bunch and handed it to me. Amazing child! I tell you (I know you've heard it before), but our child is a genius. A non-walking, gibberish-talking genius, but a genius nonetheless!!!

I see the telephone

I touch the telephone (even tho' I know I'm not supposed to)

I am most displeased for being told off for touching the telephone

V & D

I thought I'd seen pretty much all that a child could 'produce', and then Zack came down with gastro. We suspect it might have been the rota virus, but whatever the diagnosis, it is pretty disgusting. It began with vomiting on Friday night at 10pm and then we had diarrhoea for days on end, which seems to be abating today, finally. Poor little guy has been quite under the weather - subdued and listless. Can you blame him ?

You start getting desperate too. I know that the doctor and hospital will just send us home again because he doesn't have a fever, nor is he dehydrated. They want it to just run its course. So we did that - lots of fluids and monitoring. It isn't easy though. After yesterday I started wondering whether I should slip him an immodium, but the medical profession are dead against that. And then today, it seems to be a improving. He is full of beans and into everything again. Even attempting to walk a bit.

Life goes on tho' : we had a lovely lunch on the Bank Holiday with Frank & Aga, and my friends from the NCT, Amy & Matt, Trish & Shap. Two of Zack's little buddies joined us - Caitlin and Ruby. It was a good afternoon of hanging out without too much stress.

On the upside, Zack has been sleeping through the night over the last week, without waking up. Keith and I are so knackered, we've hardly noticed how much sleep we're getting. It's wonderful ! More of this please.

having a bit of fun on Uncle Frank's shoulders

If Zack was a pub...

he'd be called the Bite & Strop. Honestly, the way things are going at the moment, you'd think we were in the terrible twos already. Keith and I agree that there's been a very real change in his behaviour in the last month... He is so willful and will have a complete wobbly if he doesn't get his way on something. He is still hitting his head on the floor (or any other hard surface that presents itself), when he's frustrated. So much so, that Keith thinks there's something the matter with him. Daddy's can be completely obsessive too. It's exhausting. There is lots of literature about hitting your head - it's normal, esp. amongst boys.

Zack will bite me on my thigh when he's a klingon, on my neck or chest if I'm holding him - even when we're just playing on the carpet or sofa. He doesn't choose to understand "No Biting!", so we're going with the Thousand-Repetitions-School-of-Thought. I hope there'll be a peaceful little part of me left at the end of each day - right now I feel quite frazzled by the constant clash of wills.

And everyone says, "He's such a cute baby." Yeah! Right. Did I mention the biting ?

the itchy and scratchy show

Zack is in a new phase... he likes to pinch you when he's frustrated. And he's biting too, which is unpleasant. The question is : what to do to stop this behaviour ? I'm guessing it's a combination of frustration and teething. We'll need to manage it and be sensitive, because the temptation is to shout "no", and take a hard line. Many schools of thought, many different opinions.
In addition he's head-banging quite often, especially when he's tired or frustrated. He'll hit his head on anything sold (even my chest) and do it again and again, wailing all the time. He won't desist and the expression on his face says, 'mummy it's your fault this is sore'.

We can't talk, so we can't say what the problem is.

We have not been sleeping well at all. Zack has been up every few hours through the night. We're taking it in turn to get up and see to him, and yes, he was running a temperature yesterday and this morning - probably teething. I'm guessing it's a jet-lag/ body clock thing and he's got it all mixed up. He is going to bed on time, but he'll wake around 01h00 and wail, and then it starts sometimes up to every 2 hours. Exhausting. Thankfully we're staying with friends a the moment and there's enough space for Zack to be in his own bedroom, so the door will be shut tonight and baby will have to cry. Enough is enough.

7th tooth

Zack has been an absolute delight of late : in such a good mood in the mornings, playing by himself and paging through books, walking around on the zimmer (me). And today I looked in his mouth, and there was another tooth - bottom left. How exciting ! And he hasn't been too awful about it either... yes, he's not sleeping terribly well at the moment, but there you go.

mr & mrs zimmer

Zack is now well on the way to walking. He insists on being able to hold onto your hands and totter around the flat, the garden, the pavements, the shopping mall, so that he can look at what he wants to see. Keith and I feel like human zimmer frames, heh heh. It won't be long now and he'll be running around.

I am really looking forward to the time when he can stand on his own, but I'm aware that when they're so mobile, you have to keep your eye on them every minute of the day. I had an awful dream last night that Zack went missing. That feeling of dread inside you... I remember talking to the police and constantly looking at the space where he was, and he was gone. I got an email from Kelly recently about the Jamie Bulger case, and it's haunted me ever since. I can think of nothing more evil, and terrible to lose a child to some coniving criminal. It must be terrible to feel completely bereft and unable to fix it. I don't even want to think about what I would become in that situation. It isn't something to dwell on.

Zack is also becoming amazingly stroppy: asserting his will. I can see where the Terrible Twos stories start... he's on his way already. On the one hand it's frustration because he can't tell us what he wants, while on the other, he throws himself around when he can't have his way. Tough life being a toddler, but even tougher being a parent to a toddler.

you wouldn't say so from this photo though, would you ?

We were away on the weekend and it was lovely having the space to let him run around, but it was also really tiring as we had to watch him and 'zimmer' him alot, and he didn't sleep well in the nights AT ALL. So we were both feeling decidedly smashed on Sunday morning. I was counting down to sleeping in our own beds last night !
He travelled very well, and was content to just listen to us while we chatted on the way there (about 2 hours) and napped when he wanted to. It reminded me of those crazy trips I did with my mum to Norfolk, and Keith to Edinburgh when Zack was so small. I was off my head tackling all that !

still getting over myself

Have had a moment of insight : I do not need to worry about whether or not all the toys are accounted for. I think it's my personality type, but I do wonder every time I tidy (nightly) whether we've got all the components of each toy, as I can't always see them. I remember how annoyed I used to get as a child when something wasn't complete. Who wants to play with a toy that's missing a leg or a block or a wheel ? But to be fair, my plate is full of things to worry about and do, and spending any time at all on wondering where things the size of a plum or a grape are, is just a huge waste of time and energy. If they go missing, they're Zack's toys, not mine. If half the components are missing we'll just send the toy on it's way to the recycling bin.

I do not need to spend time on this.

Glückliche Ostern Kinder

Zack had an exotic Easter with a five day trip to Berlin. He was really very well behaved despite having to spend most of the days in his pram being pushed around, and not having much opportunity to crawl or cruise - it just isn't child-friendly being on the move. He was very obliging and slept in his pram when he was tired, and ate in it when there wasn't a high-chair. Eating was incredibly messy, the biggest being a meal in a lovely Asian-fusion restaurant where the floor was absolutely covered in rice and bits when we left, but for the most he was well behaved. He is currently surreptitiously dropping things over the edge of his high-chair, and this happens everywhere. A stern "No!" is delivered by mum and dad, but what effect it has is yet to be seen. Apparently this is another phase.


He is just delightful in the mornings – often waking up in a good mood, and oh-so chatty. New words are "ga-ga", and heaps more pointing being done. Little chuckles are emitted when we touch light-switches or whatever was being pointed at. He is eating more and more varied food – this weekend certainly tested that – which is a huge relief. He ate his first apple while we were there : on loan from his friend Emily. (Our friends in Berlin, Kev & Lisa, have a little girl of 2 and are expecting another in a few months time). It was fascinating to see two little people interacting. They were delighted to see one another, and distraught when it was home-time. So funny to see.

the Birthday Party

we had a joint birthday party with all the friends who turned one around the same time : Anokye, Caitlin and Ruby. It was a good turnout, and we were joined by family and friends. A lovely day and I think the kids enjoyed themselves immensely.


Anokye in his ceremonial outfit - too cute for words, and so photogenic.

Jackie & Alessio - growing at speed

Caitlin is already running, and there are just a few days between her and Zack.

Now we are ONE

Zack turned 1 yesterday. A momentous occasion but celebrated with very little fuss other than phone-calls, sms's and emails from friends and family. I made cupcakes for his friends at nursery today (Monday 26th), and the winning recipe is Martha Stewart's Vanilla Cupcake recipe.


Yes, yes, you're all wondering what he got ? . . . well, he got a few books, some pairs of socks, clothes, a toy mobile phone (we kid ourselves that it'll replace his fascination with the TV remote – it does not), a puzzle, aftershave (only kidding), a toy elephant and lots of wrapping paper. He enjoyed singing "Happy Birthday", and soon learnt to clap along when anyone sang it to him.
He had ice-cream for the first time on Saturday at his friend Sonny's naming ceremony. Initially he pulled faces, but once the coldness had passed he was eager for more and more and more. The sugar-rush kicked in about 20 mins later. Yeouch !
We still have the birthday party on Sunday 1 April to look forward to, so the cupcakes today were a bit of a test-run. Due to their success, there will be an encore.

a bit of beauty in the general

My aunt sent me this poem in an email, and she is a mother to four sons. Real food for thought, for my attitudes, for my use of time.

TO MY CHILD

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face
and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear
and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry
and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink
and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone
and keep the computer off
and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble,
when you scream and whine for ice cream
and I will buy one if the ice cream truck comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won’t worry about what you are going to be
when you grow up or second guess every decision
I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald’s
and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story
about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up a late
while we sit on the porch and count all the stars
Just for this evening when I run my fingers through your hair as you pray,
I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching
for their missing children,
the mothers and feathers who are visiting their children’s graves
instead of their bedrooms,
and the mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms
watching their children suffer senselessly
and screaming inside that they can’s handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you goodnight, I will hold you a little tighter, a little
longer. It is then that I will thank God for you
and ask him for nothing except one more day ….

-- Anonymous

inside, outside, upside down

Yesterday Zack leant on his little baby walker and took a few tentative steps across the lounge. By the time Keith and I had found and fired up the vidcam, he wasn't interested in playing ball, and only wanted to have a howl. Today however, he eagerly pushed his walker around AND took our dustbin (Zack's waist height) and pushed it all over the kitchen. I think he's got the walking idea down pat, and it's just been a natural progression. So easy and he's just getting on with it in his own time. He is still a bit of a klingon, but Keith and I are in for the high jump when he starts walking around.

He is too cute when it comes to hunting for "lost" toys and bits - very often under the sofa. He'll hunker down and take a long hard look and see if he can see "it", and then crawl over at speed and streeeetttccchhhhh to reach the missing ball et al. What a delight !

More words, sadly I confess the word "no" is starting to come to the fore. It arrives in the form, "Nononononono". Altho' I like to think that it doesn't actually mean, "no" - it's just another form of protestation. It's all punctuated with "mamamama", "day-day-day-day" and "bababababa", so who knows ? ! ! !

Happy Red Nose day everyone.

Please support Democracy in Zimbabwe. Personally I am very relieved to see that Mr Tsvangirai is out of ICU and back to opposing R Mugabe.

no more war

yippee. for some inexplicable reason our little boy has finally given up on World War Three when we have to change his nappy. For months now (it feels like most of his life, but it's probably only been the past 6 months), he has fought having his nappy changed. Suddenly, he is all compliant, relaxed, I'd even go so far as to put words in his mouth.. "Go ahead, get the job done, I'm just gonna lie here and wait for you to finish." Understandably we are very relieved, it was just so stressful, particularly if we were out and about.

Zack, poor chap, is still teething with gusto. He's been running a temperature for the last two days and was decidedly subdued last night and this morning. He has now got two tiny teeth sticking out of the gums at the top, which I think have been the cause of all the pain and unhappiness. Hopefully he'll be back to his usual self again soon.

We're OK and growing

Zack is doing well - growing every day, saying more (nothing recognisable tho'), getting around faster, asserting his will, eating almost anything, smiling and giggling more. It's just delightful!

We love him to bits - he's a delight.

planning planning

We are now in the throes of organising Zack's first birthday party. Ahem, we'd planned something small, but have decided to do a joint party with two or three friends, so there'll be a hoard of little 'uns, lots of hovering mums and dads and hopefully a crazy afternoon. Whew! I need to lie down just thinking about it.
The venue is sorted, and we're going to have it at noon as that suits most little people's schedules. It's going to be so strange seeing all the 'newborns' of last year as little people. I'm quite looking forward to it. Keith has bought another lens so I'm sure he's counting the days and charging his batteries !


Zack wearing his Guns 'n Roses shirt - a gift from uncle Corné and aunty René (is it just me, or is he looking more and more like a little boy ?)


Visiting Trish's house for delicious tea and cake !
Our babes tucked into a bowl of raisins : currently in Ruby's hands.



We thought we'd take them all outside for a photo, but co-ordinating 4 little people proved to be quite a challenge. even getting them all to look in the same direction was a feat. Zack looked horrid with his long face, and red cheeks. Poor little tyke, I do hope the teeth make a show soon.

Unite against Mushy Food !

Zack has turned a corner - altho it may be part of his latest wingy, diaroeaHHHH, I hate having my nappy changed, phase. Anyway, he just won't eat mushy food anymore. I think he's campaigning to get me to move forward in the diet thang. "Enough of the mush mum!", watch me press my lips together and turn my face away coz I'm not interested.

It's not a bad thing. Us adults can be pretty thick or pretty lazy when it comes to understanding what these little people are ready for. I think I probably fall into both categories as it's so easy to pull some stuff out of a bottle, add some nice fresh veg or a piece or two of chicken and voila! a delicious mushy meal. Not so.

he's growing up!

dah - ee

Our child is a genius !!!

Yeah, you've heard every parent say it. But Zack is a genius. Today while we were packing Keith's bags for New York, we were looking at all the photos on the bedside shelves. There is one of Keith and his sister Sally. I said, "Daddy, Aunty Sally" - pointing at each in turn. Then Keith said, "Daddy", and Zack said, "Dah-ee", and then a second time. Of course we leapt around like mad things, hugging and shouting, "DADDY!, DADDY!", much to Zack's amusement. He is a genius I tell you!

without mum

Zack started the settling in process at our local nursery school today. We were there from 9:45am - 11:15am. I was full of bravado on the weekend, thinking "this will be easy", and turning up was the easy part. Sitting in the parent's room for 2 and a half hours listening to Zack and filling in forms made me feel awfully weepy. We haven't been apart (except for a bit of babysitting) much at all since his birth, and it's all so hard for me. I know it's what I want, I know he's ready for it and he will love it, but that doesn't help the strong feelings of "Am I doing the right thing ?" and "is this too soon ?". It'll get easier I know (all the friends have told me), but right now it all seems a bit hard.

Today he learnt to twist the dial on his toy radio. He can now make the music play without my help. Another moment of independence dawns.