Zack says

"Mommy. I am training Daddy how to make porridge".
(Keith made porridge for him on Tuesday which he didn't like)

"How old is God?"
(on Sunday in church)

one finger, one thumb, keep moving

What a week! Calvin started settling into nursery on Monday for 1 1/2hours, then 2 1/2 hours on Tues, 3 1/2 hours on Wed and then 6 hours on Thursday and again today. All went well until yesterday and he melted down after his lunchtime nap. I collected him punctually today and he was still pretty upset. However, the care-workers all say that he's fine through the day, and makes mention of "mummy", but is loving the sandpit, blocks, story-time. He hasn't yet eaten a meal there - at best he's a fussy eater. He came home and wolfed down 3 slices of toast and jam, fruit and juice. In time he'll get into eating there.
Zack continues to enjoy school. Today he won a prize for getting 10 points. They have a reward chart for various behavioural commendations. I'm pleased that he succeeded this week.
We had a Parent's "Curriculum" meeting on Wednesday. I felt like a child again. Altho' I was on time, I had a toddler in tow and was relegated to the back of the class as the créche didn't materialise :(
I had to keep opening and closing the door for late comers :(
Tina finally turned up and took Calvin outside to play so I could concentrate :)
I am overwhelmed by the list of dates and activities for my ONE CHILD. I commented to a friend afterwards who is a mum of 4, that with them all at school she is going to struggle to cope. She didn't think so. Whew! That's why I only have 2! There is no way I could cope and still 'be me'.
The teacher commented in passing that the class was a really wonderful group of kids, and that there were quite a few BIG personalities. And I nodded knowingly. ha ha. They are really lucky to have so many great children in one class. We shall wait and see how things pan out in the future as there are sure to be personality clashes with just 28 kids in a year, for the next 5 years.

Big School

Starting School
Zack is now at "big school" at the refreshing age of 4 1/2. He was very nonchalant on day one. His teacher is Mrs Piésold. There is a teaching assistant each day - I'm still getting to know all the names. Zack's class has around 30 children and they've started school in phases : the first group [10 children who have older siblings at St James] started on 2nd of Sept, then Zack's group [another 10] and finally the last ten children this week. They now have a full compliment and I'm sure the teacher's hands are full. Weirdly there are 3 boys called Zack in his reception : Zach D, Zac W and our Zack G. Who'd have thought ?


We had our first "can I talk to you for a minute please" moment with Mrs Piésold : Zack is being too "physical" in class - patting other children on the head, hugging them, etc. That's nothing new - he's behaved like that in Enjoy-a-Ball class too. I need to just remind him gently and regularly that it isn't appropriate. It is so hard isn't it ? He is friendly and affectionate by nature, which I think is wonderful. So many people are "emotionally withholding" and do not give away their love and kindness. I have close family and friends like that. I think it's a disfunction but society doesn't discriminate. Zack is going to have to learn the when and where of it all.
School is so much about the lowest, common denominator; being invisible - having the same lunch box, the same clothes, the same toys as your mates. The other side of the coin is fitting in or acceptance. So far he's coping well - he's making friends, seems an eager participant in class, tells me he's "done nothing" at school today. ha ha. Already ?!?



School mummies
My friend Fi gave me some good advice about school mummies... the best thing to do is to find a mum whose kids are older, and have been through it all. That way you avoid the insecure, the critical, the competitive, the doff, the klingons, and the wannabees. It's a tough one isn't it ? I'm having some difficulty deciding whether to post here or not. The truth is that all of us are going to go through this - especially if we are mummies who aren't at work full time. We're faced with the prospect of interacting with other mums for some time yet.
It's struck me that it's pretty short term. It's really only the first few years that we're "at the gate". Soon enough we'll be picking them up and dropping them off from a distance - it'll be surreptitious kisses goodbye and all that. So it's just this short time that I'm connecting with other parents on a twice-daily basis. I am holding back - it's my coping mechanism : wait and see who's who in the zoo. A trio of mummies have nominated themselves as class reps and are doing the contact list thing. [whew] I'm pleased someone else has done that. I'm told there will be socials, fund-raisers, etc. It all lies ahead !
Of course, there's a natural selection process - we gravitate to the people that are "like us" or that we perceive to be "like us". In my case, by week two I'm spending time with a Capetonian who keeps the same times as us. Safe, familiar and easy to talk to.
So... do you think I'm getting through this okay ?

my 2nd 2nd

Calvin's 2nd birthday followed soon after our return from holiday. Being a bank holiday (long weekend), we had the family over for lunch – Caryl & Claire, and we had a small candle-blowing ceremony too. Calvin just loved it, wanting to re-light and blow out the candles again and again. Too cute.
We decided to get him the same gift we gave Zack for his 2nd birthday – a scooter. He likes being pushed on it, but hasn't yet had the opportunity to practice much.

His little friend Mark, also celebrated his 2nd birthday (they are 3 days apart in age), and spent a fun afternoon there. Zack was also invited and was quite well behaved. As expected, there was a lot of cake consumed.

Zack is now into underpants at night - no more nappies. He is doing really well. We have had a few accidents, but overall he is dry throughout. I am very proud of him as many children struggle with this 'final' tranch of potty-training. I DO think that anxiety affects his ability to stay dry – ie. when he's worried about something (like starting school). I suppose it's the sub-concious manifesting itself.

developments

The brothers at the pinball machine

Whew! what a crazy time it's been. We went off on holiday to Carvoeira in Portugal (near Faro) and Zack and Calvin had a blast. We were staying in a little holiday cottage spot that had a pool and a pool and an indoor pool. We swam all day, every day. The sun shone all day, every day. Zack's swimming has come on in leaps and bounds – he even leapt into the deep end without me one day (I nearly had a heart attack, and was screaming, "Nooooo!" while running and kicking off my shoes), and paddled to the side nonchalantly. Without wings!
Calvin started out really cautious of the water, as everything was "wet". But he was soon confident enough to climb down into the baby's paddling pool and wander into the middle by himself. We had two or three falling down and not being able to stand up, so Mummy grabbed me out of the water immediately, moments. But they were all done under close supervision. May I just say that mothers have completely over-active imaginations, and we always expect the worst – it gives us the edge I think.

Elly jumps over Zack

Zack made friends with a lovely little lass from Worcestershire, whose name was Elly. They spent all their time together and we were so sad to say goodbye on our last morning.

Our only day on the beach was extraordinarily hot. For some reason Zack decided the best thing to do was to go down on hands and knees and rub your face in the sand. Yuck !

In the last two days of our holiday Calvin decided that he was potty training and has completely caught onto wee'ing in the toilet. He is a genius ! And might I point out that he wasn't even two years old yet. Amazing! It really is so much easier with the second child – he just emulates his brother.

Annoyingly we got home to an ear-infection for Zack – or perhaps I should say, predictably ? So he's been on Amoxycilin for 10 days. Seems to have done the job.
What was possibly worse was that Tina, our housekeeper, was off sick for another two days and the ironing was mounting up and things were getting out of control. Not only that but our temporary Nanny who would have really taken off some of the pressure, was also off unexpectedly for a day. I returned to some enormous work pressure and deadlines, so I admit to feeling quite strung-out within days of returning. You always want the "holiday vibe" to linger, don't you ?!

nursery to primary

Zack had his "Goodbye" Party at nursery today, altho' his last official day is only on Friday this week. There is so much excitement about going to Primary school - each child was telling me where they were going and if they had a uniform or not. Zack wore his new school shoes that we bought this morning (sorry, no photos there), and was eager to wear his uniform until it was time to go and then it was "batman mommy". Ah well, there'll be lots of time to wear a uniform and fewer occasions to be a superhero!

Charlie & Lola cups used for party tricks

"it doesn't work any more. I want a new one!"

car

Calvin's favourite word is still "car". Zack gets annoyed now and shouts, "train. train. train.", when Calvin means train. Sigh. You get used to it tho'.
This evening while Zack was bathing, I sat with Calvin while he played with the garage and his cars. The light was beautiful, so I got quite a few lovely shots. Here are just two.

payback time

Mrs Sweby at Montessori Nursery, N10 sent me my deposit back by cheque today. Will attempt to deposit it.

drunk and disorderly

So it all came to a head last week Monday. After four sessions of "settling in" at a North London Montessori nursery nearby, I took Calvin to his first day. Dropped him off at 1:30pm and when I turned up to collect him at 4:55pm there was this strange old crone sitting in the kid's play room. She looked awful, gaunt and sallow. She had grey blotches under her eyes and across her nose. I really wasn't sure who she was or why she had all the staff sitting in a circle around her. Her skirt was hoiked up, and her legs akimbo. A part of me was already scrambling through the ID parade... she was probably the owner. Then she spoke and I was right, it was the owner who'd I'd only spoken to on the phone. She was going on and on about ofsted and the parents, and how she couldn't do enough for them. I said, "Excuse me?" but I couldn't understand what she was saying. I was looking around the room, from face to face, at each member of staff. All I got was blank stares or averted eyes.
In the meantime Calvin had seen me, stood up and was walking towards me. His face said scared and unhappy. I grabbed him and slung him onto my hip. By now I'd caught one of the girls (who I'd chatted to the previous week) rolling her eyes. Yup, I could smell the booze at 2metres. So I guessed A + B = blotto.

The end of it all : I've pulled Calvin out of the nursery. He's going to go to Zack's full-day nursery from mid-September.

No point in being stupid about this. Two weeks ago my gut feel was "there is something weird here with the staff". Yes, the peer pressure amongst fellow North London mummies was that Calvin should only attend a half-day session BUT I cannot have my child in THAT nursery. Zack's little nursery - Greygates - is just lovely. The staff turnover is neglible and they are genuinely affectionate, well trained, career child-carers. I don't have a qualm about sending him there other than the long hours. I was only trying to be "open minded" by going for the Montessori. It failed. There you go. Now we're onto plan B, which really should have been plan A.

closer to being me

I took Calvin to nursery this morning for his 4th and final session of "settling in". It meant 1/2 an hour of being with him, and then 1/2 an hour of being there without me. When I kissed him goodbye and left, he was terribly upset, but in 5 minutes time I'll go back and see that he's OK. I'm sure it'll take a bit of time because he can be very clingy when he wants to be. The steady process of becoming more independent continues - for both mum and child.
Mum on the other hand cannot wait !

Empty Apologies

Today I decided to sit out of Zack's ball class so that I could read my book. Afterward we came skipping out of class and were fooling around on the steps outside when one of the mums called to me and said, "Your son hit my son....", so I called Zack over to apologize. His first reaction was, "... but Mom, he hit me first", and when the other mother denied it, he said, "But he did! I saw him."
I find these sorts of conversations frustrating. Zack apologized and hugged the other boy. I then paused, waiting for the other mother to reciprocate. She didn't. Her son just did the sulky quiet thing and rubbed his eye.
I don't think Zack was lying. I do think that the other mother possibly heard her son cry or wail, but I can't say that she saw Zack actually hit her son OR for that matter, her son hitting Zack in the first place. So who's in the wrong? Is Zack a bully or just a normal boisterous boy? Is her son a manipulative little git or a cry-baby, or was he genuinely injured during a tousle over a ball?
Zack is very gracious for apologizing, even if it is difficult in the moment. It doesn't cost alot to apologize and it's a good skill for later on.

worse before it's better

nasty nasty nasty

at least we can get some joy out of a bowl of raisins!

and we pass it on

Early days in Calvin's bout of chicken pox. It worsened considerably and we were only getting sleep between 4am and 7:30am at one point. Thankfully I think we've turned the corner. Sigh. exhausting

bloomin 'eck

So we go off on holiday with granny and grandpa. It's stressful. We travel to Berlin first. On the evening of our first day, Zack has a few small bumps on him. It's been extremely hot so it could be heat rash. Nope, the next morning we know for sure - it's chickenpox.

bank hols in berkies

Zack went off to the doctor on Monday and then again on Friday last week - ear infection. He's on amoxycilin. It meant the first night of our holiday (Fri) was a no sleep night and we had to take it in turns to comfort him. Thankfully by the second night we had a solid night's rest. Now Calvin is taking his turn to cry - he's been chewing his fingers for the past few days, so perhaps he's teething. He certainly has the icky bum to go with it, but no temp. Sigh. Kids. I'm tired.

Calvin is happiest on the slide

those jolly rides in shopping malls - there's no escaping them [sigh]

what can I say ?

Brothers take a walk

no sleep

Mummy and Daddy are zombies at the moment - Calvin is waking up twice and even three times a night to have a wail. Mostly I get up, but I'm getting to the point where he can just cry if I've been up twice before. I feel bad for the neighbours, but I need a bit of pity too. Poor Keith is also feeling haggard with the sleepless nights (and he's suffering from insomnia) and all the stresses and strains at work. His plate is pretty full right now.
I'm really not sure what's causing the wakefulness, but all the boxes are ticked - clean nappy, not thirsty, dummy nearby, warm, quiet. Either he's lonely or he's bored. We are going to move his cot into Zack's room so that we solve the former, but the latter is something that will have to find it's own way out because neither Keith nor I are entertainers at 1am, 4am or 5:30am. No way!
Zack and Calvin went off to Little Dinosaurs yesterday, and when I got home I heard that Zack had bitten a two-year-old. Sheesh! How long has it been since he last bit a child ? Ages and ages. He had rushed upstairs when I was talking to Tina about it, and I found him hiding underneath his bed. I went up and sat on the floor and encouraged him to come out. He was obviously afraid of what I was going to say, and apologized immediately. Now that he's older, it's easier to ask, 'Why?'. The other child was hitting him in the face. I reminded him that he needs to talk to an adult. Biting is not an option.
Calvin, Zack and I went off to the shoe shop on Tuesday and got new shoes for both of them. It is remarkable how quickly children's feet grow. Zack is now an 11, so needed to say farewell to his Gola's. I replaced them with a pair of funky white Sketchers. Calvin got his first pair of walking shoes - little navy-blue, leather ones. He seems happy in them, altho' he is reverting to crawling every now and then which is understandable.
I took Calvin to the physio on Monday morning at 9am for an assessment. Considering he'd been walking for nearly a week, I felt that my fears had been allayed and I really didn't need to be there. As it turns out she was happy to see us, but confirmed just that - he is doing well developmentally and doesn't have any issues of concern. That little outward turning foot of his will soon be straighter with the shoes and constant walking.

he walks

Calvin has FINALLY decided to walk by himself. Yesterday while at a shopping mall in Derby he walked for quite a distance with Keith (just keeping him company, not holding his hands). It is delightful - he holds both arms out in front of him like a zombie or Frankenstein, and giggles as he goes. I'll try and post a video of it soon.

spring

April hath put a spirit of youth in everything. ~William Shakespeare

This week has been most springy. You gotta know how bad the winter's been if spring is getting an entire blog mention here. We have been on the trampoline twice most days, have weeded the lawn extensively (tho' it still requires more), and Keith and Zack have planted white pansies and new rosemary bushes. Zack was given some vegetable seeds to sow. They are now in their own little "greenhouse" box, germinating. Kids are so impatient. He went and looked this morning only to see that nothing had changed.
Keith helped Zack cycle around the block at lunchtime. I then invited him to cycle with me, all downhill, to a friend's house. He was eager for the first 100 metres. Then it was whining and moaning. Between Keith pushing the pram AND Zack's bike, and my pushing both my bike AND Zacks' we got it there. Unfortunately that meant we had to repeat the exercise coming home. Bike confidence is a slow process I fear. I am trying inordinately hard to not repeat the impatience of my father, and to be as empathetic as possible.

Calvin's first real word

He said it on the weekend and I thought it was just fluke, but this morning when I picked him up, I said, "Let's have some breakfast Calvin". And he looked at me, so I said, "lunch", and he said to me, "lunch". So there it is - Calvin's first word, other than "mummy, daddy, and nanny", is "lunch". I think he might also be on the verge of "'nana" (as in 'banana'), but we'll see.
My child is a genius !

Easter and the dregs of the birthday

Calvin's first conscious Easter, and Zack's first genuine Easter Egg hunt. By Sunday afternoon, Zack said to me, "Mommy I don't want any more chocolate". So allowing him to indulge had the desired effect... I'm getting clever - reverse psychology does work you see.

The sheer delight of discovery

the motherload

devouring the booty

We decided to spend Easter Monday at a National Trust property offering Easter Egg trails for kids. It was a hit, and tired them out with all the hunting for eggs, stamps and signs. We finished the afternoon with lunch at the Smith & Western in Boxhill. Kids were knackered and we'd had some quality time with Jax, Claudio and Alessio.

Easter Monday with Alessio at Polsden Lacey (National Trust Prop)

Zack gets the 'Easter Bunny' treatment at Polsden Lacey

Cat in the Hat ? - that's what this face reminds me of.

Last weekend was Anokye's 4th birthday party, and all four of the NCT girls were in the same place at the same time. Amazing. It was a wonderful sunny day and we spent most of it in the garden with the kids jumping on the bouncy castle. Keith and Calvin had some quality time together too, and they took the camera, so I don't have any pics of Anokye's party. Oh dear.

Calvin and Keith hit the playground together

Spiderman birthday party with fab masks from Walmart - what a winner!

The Willars sisters in trendy superhero outfits - Buzz Lightyear and retro Thunderbirds.

A delighted, exhausted, happy, very hot & sweaty birthday boy.

Hours of baking and icing amounted to a single layer, chocolate, Spiderman mask cake