twilight zone

I flew out to Ohio last week Thursday, with two boys in tow, to visit Keith's aunt and uncle - Joy & Mike. The flight out was horrendous. I arrived at Heathrow at 09h35 (three hours before the flight was due to depart). It took them 2 hours to issue Calvin's boarding pass as he was travelling as an "infant on lap". Apparently the system couldn't sort it out. Idiots at Continental/United Airlines have NO idea about frustration. What am I supposed to do with two children who are being forced to stand still in a ticket hall for two hours? My blood was boiling. Calvin and Zack then took it in turns to press all mommy's buttons until we got to Cleveland. I was extremely grateful for the air-stewardess on our final leg: the only helpful individual we'd met in 12 hours!
The kids had such a good time, and thoroughly enjoyed all the attention. Zack went to sleep as soon as we got there, but Calvin was wide awake and firing on all cylinders. It meant that everyone got to meet the little brother, without all the sibling rivalry that goes on during daylight hours. It was great fun and he did his little walking steps from one person to another too - what a performer! Joy and Mike were both working, so during the day we'd go to the Mall (it was bitterly cold outside), or down to a playground nearby.

Zack working his way up

The fun of sliding

Saying "Goodbye" to Joy on Tuesday morning

Calvin and James share an IKEA moment

Uncle Mike helps Calvin eat every last pea in the pot

I was feeling incredibly rough (tired, ratty and sick) when we got there, but thanks to the family I slept for a good 9 hours on the first night. I was diagnosed with 'pink eye' while I was there, so it was good to get some meds, and shake that infection (I'd been struggling to get rid of it at home). Keith arrived on Friday night, and we were able to sleep in on both Sat and Sun mornings. What a wonderful feeling! Mike doesn't sleep well, and the boys had jet-lag, so it was a win-win situation.
Zack, Calvin and I went out for hamburgers on Monday afternoon which Zack thought was a treat. He can be incredibly slow at eating - too busy watching everything else that's going on around us. He loved the ceremony of it all too, and I sent him off to the 'soda machine' to refill his own cup.
It is Zack's 4th birthday in 10 day's time and we are planning a Spiderman theme. Walmart is a wonderland of goodies, so I picked up a ton of stuff for the party. Thank goodness for huge weight allowances on US flights.
Tuesday evening was the flight home. We had a relatively uneventful trip home - no delays, no crises, no [enormous] tantrums, and a quick connection at Newark too. Zack wet his trousers sleeping, but I'd prepared for that eventuality and packed clean bottoms, and socks. Funnily enough he did comment that, "people will laugh at me with no trousers on" (I had to change him once all the other passengers had disembarked), but I reassured him that no-one could see. Funny the little things that they are concerned about all of sudden.

Race:
Zack is suddenly aware of race/ethnicity. We were in a supermarket today, and he said to me, 'That man is the same colour as Ethan and Chloe'. To which I replied, 'Yes, that's right. Anokye's daddy is also that colour.' I think he's identified the colour as 'brown'.
Then, just to throw a spanner in the works, I said to him, "So Zack, what colour do you think you are ?' I proffered some suggestions : purple, green, blue pointing at my skin. In the end he said, "I don't know Mom." So I suggested he think about it and we can talk about it again. Devils' advocate!

cat's away

Sigh... why is that the minute Keith heads off on business, the kids 'habits' degenerate ? Sleeping is the first one to go. Last night Zack was not in a hurry to go to sleep, and then woke up this morning at 5:25am having had a bad dream (he tells me that I had gone far away), and wee'd in his bed. Having calmed him, changed his pyjamas and putting a towel down on the wet patch, he then told me that he wanted to play. I was firm and said, NO. It's still night time and you must sleep. He didn't tho'. He'd woken Calvin up who was now chattering in his cot. I decided a firm line was the best, so I just went upstairs and went back to bed. Zack came up and joined me on and off, and finally went downstairs. And here's the reason for today's post - Zack put on the tv and the DVD player by himself and watched Stuart Little. I am delighted. I was able to sleep until 8:30 when Calvin woke up again. Not feeling quite as shattered as I might have.
Annoyingly I have a nasty eye infection which isn't clearing, so I'm trying to sort that out too.

totter

Calvin is now tottering along with confidence on Zack's old "push along" musical wagon thingy. He loves watching himself in the mirror and glances backwards to make sure Mummy is seeing it too. Too cute!
Yesterday morning he was playing on the carpet in our bedroom, while I was showering. He discovered a sun-beam and scampered around trying to catch it. Every time he had his back to it, it disappeared, then he'd quickly circle around so that he could see it on the carpet again.
He has a couple of new words too : Amen, and Nanny (for Tina).
This morning we were singing "Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, We're going to the moon." and he quickly started counting with his little pointer finger in the palm of the other hand, and then putting his arms in the sky at "blast off". Just so delightful to see the developmental stages.

a REAL holiday

We've been discussing, at some length, with friends how you go about having a real break when you have such little children. As we don't have grandparents around, and our attempts in 2009 failed dismally, we just want a solution. As such, I've started investigating via the net. here's what I've come up with in the UK for family holidays :

http://www.babyfriendlyboltholes.co.uk
http://www.mrandmrssmith.com/ - they have a children section
http://www.cottageselection.co.uk - "take the family" section
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/travel/holiday_type/family/article2133315.ece
http://www.childfriendly.co.uk/
http://www.bedruthan.com/hotel/

http://www.tredethick.co.uk

feeding the little ones

http://www.wulffmorgenthaler.com

drive far for what's around the corner

It's halfterm at the moment, so I thought it would be nice to go and do something different. I picked up Tina and we drove up to Milton Keynes (about an hour away), to a huge indoor play area. They're sneaky - we were aiming for a place called 360Play, but ended up at KidsPlay because it's the first place you see as you come off the highway. Anyway, that's business I suppose. We had a blast and Zack was absolutely pooped after 4 hours. We had a pee-accident too which added to the adventure, so I spent 1/2 an hour in the ladies loo drying Zack's jeans, sock and underpants.
Going there has convinced me that we need to do this more often - perhaps even weekly. There are two of these places within reach of N10 (our postal code). The kids had so much fun that it seems silly to save it for a rainy day.

primary school application

Got a letter from the council today to say that our choices of Primary School for Zack (starting 2 Sept) have been noted. We will find out in May which one he's been accepted to.

the weather ?

Both boys have taken turns being ill. In fact, Keith was off 2 days last week too. Zack was vomiting on Friday night - on carpeted stairs, which is no joke. He'd an upset tummy on the weekend too. Calvin vomited in the wee-hours of Tuesday morning, so I cleaned that up and put him back to bed. Then I couldn't get back to sleep, so got up and put together 200 photographs of him for his Dedication Service on Sunday. I want to have a photo album of his life for people to see. Finally went back to sleep just before 7am. Keith had to sort out Calvin vomiting again after that. Today he's got an upset tummy and had a bit of a temperature when he woke up - not the happiest little chap. Tina has also got something nasty, so stayed home today (which is highly unusual for her). Thank the Lord I am mostly OK. Now I just need to stay like this until Sunday evening when the party is over.

Zack and Alessio put the nachos bowls on their heads.
Makes a fun yarmulke – Jackie commented how Jewish Zack looked. LOL

negotiating

It is frustrating in the extreme, the amount of negotiating that goes on with a three/four year old. I can see why it's necessary, as the alternative is smacking or sending him to his room/timeout. However... the time and patience and effort required (of two exhausted parents) is enough to drive me into the wilderness screaming, never to return. I feel like Zack "gets it" some of the time, so you can appeal to his rationality, but other times you're offering a number of alternatives, a number of carrots and sticks, consequences are carefully weighed up, end results are presented as clearly as possible. And yet, you're still getting the whinging, whining three year old who is just being contrarian for the sake of it. After 45 minutes of ruining everyone's day...
Yup, then it's time for a smack

glue

Forgotten what it's like to have a toddler suffering from "separation anxiety"?? I have. and it's killing me. Calvin WILL NOT let me out of his sight. He sobs hysterically if I go upstairs to get dressed, or fetch a postage stamp (what I'm doing now - and blogging in frustration). If I put him down to walk a meter to pick something up he starts simpering or wailing. It's driving me up the bloody wall.

.... he wee-wee's like a waterfall

Don't know what's up with Zack, but he has just omitted bladder control from his functioning mind in the last 2 days. We've had nights where Keith's up at 12:30am with a soaked bed, 4am with another soaked bed. Then today I'm at the playground with himself, and he pee'd himself "nat" only minutes after I'd asked him if he wanted to go to the loo. Bloomin' 'eck ! What's a parent to do ? I think we're going back into night time nappies until we have some sanity. The washing machine cannot cope with much more, and we are out of bed linen that's clean and dry.

Family holiday - Johannesburg

Calvin didn't start walking (I had hoped he would), but speeded up the crawling

Spiderman is a current favourite - couldn't get the swimming costume off him some days

What more can I say ? The kids had a blast, we got to sleep in. We've come home rested and ready for what 2010 will throw at us

41/14 months

Zack just loves playing "I spy" and a slight variation of it, which we call "Ten Guesses" (which means that you have to guess something he can see - or not - but he doesn't have to identify the first letter). He's really into story telling, and loves it when we make up tales about Prince Zack and Prince Calvin, or Zack the Spiderman, etc. He's excellent at filling in the gaps in familiar stories, or describing regular activities.
He is getting better and better at phonetics, and can often identify the sound that starts the word. He is writing "Z" with confidence, but struggles with the "A" and the "K". He's getting there tho. He is a pro at doing up buttons now, so pyjamas are Zack's department.
Zack has progressed so well on the toilet training. He had an upset tummy earlier in the week, so we were cleaning up mucky underpants for the first time in ages, which made me appreciate just how far he's come. The last 2 nights have also been an achievement in that he's managed to go through without wetting his nappy. This bodes well, as we'd like to get him to be dry thru the night in the near future. I think it won't be long.
Calvin is more and more mobile. You really have to keep an eye on him. Just a moment ago, I came into the study to read the BBC news site and before I could blink he'd crawled up the stairs. He is able to climb up onto our Barcelona chairs in the lounge, unassisted; altho' he is unable to get onto the sofa which is slightly higher - he gets frustrated at that. He loves playing peek-a-boo, and goes from room to room saying, "Aaaahahhhh. Ba-ba. Duhd. Daah-dee. Yeaaa. Eeehhh. Eeeett. Deh. Daaa--ahh. Aaah-ti," and the usual simpering which means, 'I want my own way Mummy!' He certainly has learnt how to crank up the volume - and lets you know when he means business. I think people are surprised when he shouts, as they know him to be so passive and chilled.
Calvin is pointing alot and saying "Dee" when he does so. He is interested in lights, switches and buttons, and wants to turn them on and off. Keeping him away from the DVD-player is proving a challenge, as he's watched his brother use it, and also being a genius, knows which button to press to open the CD tray. Eek !
Keith has kept a Father's Day card, which has the theme tune from Star Trek playing when you open it. Calvin just loves opening and closing it, opening and closing it. I must try and get it on video to upload :)

early winter colds

Zack gets a paint-job at Early Learning Centre

We don't have H1N1 I believe, but the entire family's come down with nasty colds. Zack has a hacking cough (especially at night), Calvin is a green-snotty bub, Keith and I both have ENT infections. I think it's an indication of our mental state too – feeling run-down and over-wraught with all the goings on in the house and in our lives. The to-do list is overwhelming (tho' I hit it with all I've got during the weeks), the house has bits of mess in every room (eg. boxes, piles of paper, children's toys, discarded socks) and both feel exhausted in the evenings.
We had a lovely Saturday with friends – Corné & René – en route to Katmandu. They had a whole day to spend with us, and we loved going to the park, the playground & the pub. heh heh.

Corné

René

congratulations : utrecht

Ah Clint & Jeany have done it again. Safe delivery of little Oliver Fischer - congrats to both of you, and to Sadie & Jack on a new baby brother.

so much going on

When I see that I haven't posted anything in the last month, I know it's a testimony to just how busy you can get with two little people.

Calvin is crawling with ease now, and taking steps with his hands held. He loves 'walking' and is constantly begging you to lift him up so that he can go walk-about. He has six teeth – three on top (two and a half) and three at the bottom. He's had a bit of a cold, and a nasty viral rash a couple of weeks ago, but has made a full recovery.
He is really taking to solids and loves pasta and veggies, and of course - meat. He isn't very partial to bread tho' he will chew on a small bit here and there. His favourite fruit juice is lychee, and actually pushes apple juice aside if it's offered. He's learning to ask for things too. If he's mid-meal and is feeling thirsty, he'll say something like "dah day" and turn his head aside until he gets a cup. He is very eager to sip out of a cup, but so much of it goes down his front that I really need to be "in the mood" to indulge it, (and clean up afterwards/ do a clothing change).

enthusiastic session of nail-cutting "by myself"

Zack is continuing to mature. Today we were in a fabric store, and once we'd paid, Zack said "Let's get out of here."
I just laughed and laughed.
And last week, he said to me "Mommy, let's put my duvet on my bed like normal."
I just had to chuckle again - "like normal" obviously means 'as it should be'. Where did he get that from ?
Today was the nursery's Halloween Party. Zack doesn't go to nursery on Thursdays and I didn't make a special effort to go along. I feel a real reticence to support the Halloween celebrations, as he doesn't really understand it, and I hope that once he does, he'll know that Keith and I don't approve of the celebration of witches, devils, evil spirits, and all that goes with it. We want to celebrate life and the good things in it - when do we have a special day for that ?

Amazing.... said the Gruffalo I seem to say that all the time these days. Kids grow up so quickly.

congratulations : london

Simon & Mary Jenkinson have a baby boy - Christopher Luke, born this morning. How exciting!

on the move

Calvin can now crawl using all four limbs, and in a far more upright position. He's fast.
He's cutting two more teeth – incisors – the top two in front. Lots of dribbling, but I think we're nearly there.
Sleepwise, Calvin is still waking up regularly at 4am and crying. Sometimes I get up and settle him (70% of the time), other times it's Keith (15%) and the rest is us both lying there trying to be very disciplined about not going to him. We really need to make it more 30% going to him – there's no reason for waking up other than attention. Problem is, when it's your second child, you just want peace & quiet so you can go back to sleep. So you're actually reinforcing the bad behaviour.

We're having a few glorious moments with Zack. Yesterday on the tube, a chap got on at Camden Town (home of goths, alternative culture, punk, etc) with piercings on his face and a blue bandana. First thing Zack says is "what's that thing in his nose ?".
So I went through the list of possibilities, "Is it a boogie ?", "No,"
"Is it jewellery?", "Yes,"
"Is it a necklace?" (an in joke in our family), "No," he says rolling his eyes,
"Is it a bracelet?", "No,"
"Is it a jewel?", "Yes".
"Oooohhh".
and then, "Mommy, that man is a pirate," meaning the chap in the bandana.
"Yes," I say, "there is a pirate on the train."

Congratulations : naperville IL

Big surprise here : safe arrival of Etienne Lambert to Ryan & Lanelle. And a jolly healthy size too at 9lbs 8oz - well done Lanelle.

reconnoiter

I went and viewed the first primary school today : St James C of E Primary School. I hope to visit at least 4 before it's decision time. My impression was that it is a good school (Ofsted report is exemplary), the children all seem happy and confident, the administration is progressive, the head-teacher was open and at ease. Zack is eager to go there because he has friends attending already : Oskar, Jamie and Chloe - I don't think he realises that they're going to be a year ahead of him. It'll be nice for him to see them and have the familiarity to aid the settling process.
I hope to view the others nearby : Tetherdown Primary, Muswell Hill Primary, and our Lady of Muswell Hill Catholic Primary. I might see a few further away depending on how I feel after 4.

happy birthday Baby-cakes

Calvin turned 1 recently, and we had a little Birthday Tea for a few friends.

My friend Elly's little boy, Asante, had his naming ceremony too - a really special event.

Kwame and Elly say their lines

We've been quite busy altho' Summer seems to be over – it keeps surprising us with another few glorious days between the cool, grey, drizzle that is autumn in London.

Zack & Charlie on the dervish at Ally Pally's Fair

I took Zack for a haircut on Saturday, and despite visiting the kiddie's salon last Wednesday so that he would be familiar with the space, he still went mental when it was cutting time. In the end I sat in the chair and held him down while the hairdresser cut quickly. Keith was standing behind him placating, but it was all very traumatic : Zack screaming and thrashing, and mother trying to maintain a firm grip on a 25kg (55lb) toddler. Poor Calvin was asleep when it all started, but the noise woke him up and he was crying too. There were two other boys in the room having haircuts (probably 8 and 10 year olds), and they were amazed at the proceedings.
In the end Zack calmed down to a sob, and then went quiet. Throughout we were all saying what a good boy he is, that there isn't anything to be scared of, that the cutting doesn't hurt at all, that he is very brave, etc. etc. I think the previous stints at the barber's have scarred him for life! But by the time he walked out of the shop, he was fine (except for the hairs tickling him) and said "goodbye" and "thank you" for the balloon. The rest of the day was filled with "I am a brave boy", and our reinforcing "Yes, you are a very brave boy."
Hope next time is better.

The trauma of the haircut completely forgotten
– sitting on Mario's shoulders

up, up and away

Calvin is standing and loving it. Still only has three teeth, but there must be more on the way as there are signs of them coming - sore bottom, lots of drool and chewing his fingers.

make mine one with everything...

Recently I took Zack with me to Starbucks (I am addicted. There I've said it). He usually has a lolly. Instead he said he'd have the almond biscotti - my usual accompaniment - because I wasn't ordering it. As I was about to pay, he was offered the "babychino"- I see that Starbucks is now pumping this product big time. Zack quickly accepted and we paid and went and sat down. As soon as I took my seat next to him, he unwrapped the biscotti and handed me one of the two biscuits. He then said,
'Mummy, I'm having a latté".
I was caught completely off-guard.
'I beg your pardon?' I said.
'I'm having a latte.' He repeated.
I just had to laugh. That's my "usual", so he was just saying what he'd always heard. I corrected him with, 'No love, you're having a babychino'.
'Oh,' he said, 'I'm having a 'chino'.
'That's right,' I said.

zonked

Calvin has been up two nights running, teething. Last night I was up from 2:20am until nearly 4am and we tried everything - teething powder, Bonjela and lots of rocking and comforting. It didn't have much effect. Feeling pretty smashed today & the kitchen counters are being installed. Sigh...

horrid hols

We're getting savvy in our old age... holidays with just Mum & Dad, Zack & Calvin are not working. The kids are bored and we get NO rest. We've been away for 10 days, and the lesson has been learnt. We gotta find a better way!
France was just beautiful and we were blessed with lovely weather and a chance to see the Loire Valley, gardens and chateux. Highlights included Villandry gardens, Zack & Keith going swimming; riding on the lawnmower with Hugo; staying with Ghislaine & Gerard.
Sadly Andy & Tammy weren't able to enjoy their holiday at all, as Tammy was in and out of hospital with respiratory problems. In the end they came back to the UK and went into ICU in Guildford. Tammy is doing much better now, and we anticipate she'll be discharged later today.
Zack was begging to come home 2 days ago, he was missing his friends and the familiarity of home & habit. He toddled off with us to playschool this morning in his Spiderman Tshirt and a happy face.
Calvin and I have both caught the nasty cough that Zack had, and now it's sore ears, tearful eyes, sinusitis and a nasty cough. Calvin was running a temperature last night, but a bit of Calpol helped him fight it.

meddling neighbours

Yes, Marianne has said that Zack is extremely noisy in the mornings. To top it though, I have just had two neighbours from the opposite side ring our doorbell because Zack was in the bathtub "screaming for more than 10 minutes". Andy arrived this morning and Zack has been completely over-excited all day. Cleaning up toys was a chore, getting Zack to eat his dinner while wandering around and chucking his plate of food on the floor was a chore. Getting Zack to leave YouTube (we were showing Andy the Evian, skating babies) was a chore. Getting Zack into the bath was a battle. Getting him to rinse his hair was a battle. And in the end I emptied the bathtub, asking him to get out, and he wouldn't. So I left him there and joined Keith while he ate his supper and Zack shouted upstairs. He is COMPLETELY able to get out of the bath himself. He just chose not to. He sat in that tub screaming because he wanted attention, and we weren't going to give it to him because he is 'beyond reasoning', he's so tired.
And then... when Keith finally goes upstairs to get him out, the neighbours ring the bell and start talking about child abuse and saying that it's just insane leaving a child naked in the bathtub for ages, screaming. My first question was "do you have children?" and the second was "are you an aunt or uncle?" Negative to both. So I just waved my hands. Bloody hell! Who the hell do people think they are ????
I invited them in to see Zack, to speak to Keith. Both declined.
Piss off, gits.

.... I have seldom felt such indignation.

oink - zoom

Swine Flu
Zack came home with a newsletter today to say that some children at the nursery have been prescribed Tamiflu and that the council has decided that there is nothing to be gained by closing local nurseries now. As I'd said before, it is really just a question of time before one of us comes down with it. The press published infection rates in yesterday's paper and many of the borough's have around 400 per 100,000 except for Tower Hamlets (where we used to live) which stands around 740 per 100,000 – almost double.

Zack and Anokye tuck into some pineapple

Zack's PT has dipped in the past few days. Last night he wee'd while eating his dinner. This morning, he wee'd going downstairs for breakfast (I assume he'd forgotten that he wasn't wearing a nappy - night time thing - and just let go). It's exasperating because he knows what's going on and we are caught between 'was it an accident' or 'is he just doing it for attention' ?

Crawling
Calvin is honing his mobility and can now get around using two arms and a leg. I've tried to encourage the second leg to join in, but he prefers to keep it dead-straight in a sort of rudder position. He loves being able to get around and go and see things : this evening he wandered off to the guest loo and utility room for a 'look see'. He is really very sweet and loves to wave his arms, wiggle his right hand and fingers and shriek. He is certainly getting the screaming down pat - enough to raise the dead sometimes.

summertime

We are now living downstairs - the kitchen has gone in and we've moved the TV downstairs too. It means that Zack can watch whatever he likes (of course within reason) NOT in our bedroom. That means one of us can sleep in, without the fighting that used to take place outside the bedroom door, to keep one 3 year old quiet. Bliss !
It also means that we're no longer eating in the study and washing up in the bathroom which is jolly nice indeed.
Zack has been in transition again (boy, does this ever slow down) which means that he's had moments where he's a complete handful and won't listen to anything, sticks his tongue out and shouts "NO!" at us; but he is also delightful and tells me that he wants to marry me (Yikes, the Oedipal complex has kicked in). There has been a sudden cognitive blooming - he is getting all sorts of ideas together with the vocabulary necessary for communicating them. It's really amazing watching the changes. He is still as bossy as ever : today we were building train-tracks, and I asked if I could fix the 'design'. A while later he said to me, "You can play with my trains Mummy, but you must never, ever change my tracks. OK!?!"
It's now summer holidays which means no more Enjoy-a-Ball classes until September, which will be sorely missed. The upside is that in September he will be joined by more children - a bigger class (than the current 3).
Something I'm struggling with is the reward for good/bad behaviour. On the one hand I want Zack to realise that toys are valuable and don't grow on trees. But also that when he gets things we need to value them - they don't just get replaced when they get broken or thrown away. But at the same time, there's the pressure of developmental needs and I feel like it's time to buy him a bike. Perhaps it could be a carrot for good behaviour.. but what ?
Calvin is getting around quite a bit - he's just using two arms and a knee but it's enough to get him from one side of the room to another, especially if there are wires to be reached and pulled. Phone chargers are in danger.
Zack is none too gentle with his little brother so I need to keep an eye on them, altho' Calvin now yells if his brother holds his hand or foot - an alarm of sorts.
Calvin is trying to drop his afternoon sleep, and it makes life quite hard as he gets so tired by 4pm that he's inconsolable. Tut tut - that's little tots for you. He's participating more and more in conversations and we've graduated from da-da-da to ma-ma and na-na, and also deee-th. I guess that means "dad-ee" is around the corner.
Unlike his brother, Calvin cannot bear a moment with a poo in his nappy, so he has a special "poo cry", which means 'Take it away!'. Pretty useful.

make that...

Two Teeth! he cut the second one the following day. Poor little guy - and more importantly, poor mummy and daddy who've had very little sleep in the last ten days with the teething. Good news tho' is that the constipation seems to be easing. It's so hard for these little tummies to get used to "new" food. I've very relieved that things seem to be back on a rhythm.
Calvin is also sitting more and more. He struggles to stay upright on very hard surfaces (wooden flooring), but carpets are easier. He's taking more note of himself in the mirror too, and reaching out when we walk past.

tooth

Calvin has one tooth - bottom left. He cut it one day shy of ten months... pretty slow going, but if a friend is to be believed, the longer it takes for them to come, the better quality they are. Maybe his are verging on Titanium, or Carbon or something... ha ha.

My mum on her last afternoon with us

The house continues a pace, with the dry rot chaps leaving last Friday and the flooring men arriving this morning at 8:30am. Very soon we will have a living area in our house, and early next week the semblance of a kitchen too. Zack has been extremely naughty in the past five days. Saturday was the worst with him getting up to all sorts - actually it had started on Friday night with him throwing his shoes over the fence into the neighbour's garden. Unfortunately the fence is just too high for me to reach over, so it was left to Keith. Saturday morning they were retrieved, and Zack promptly threw them over the fence again. Keith was furious.
Throwing things is a bit of a thing right now: cars, stones, toys; and refusing to listen (perhaps it's just being contrarian but it amounts to the same thing). My counsellor suggested that his behaviour is affected by the ongoing upheaval in his environment. Granted. I also see the jealousy of Calvin entertwined there - especially as Calvin gets more mobile. Zack is pushing all the boundaries, so it's taking extra effort on all our parts to show him where the parameters are.

Tina (our housekeeper) continues to be a real support.

Second time around

We are now in the thick of getting Calvin onto solids. He is hilariously different from Zack. He prefers to be able to have one hand in whatever it is we're feeding him, I guess it must be a texture thing. And he's slowly getting the message that he needs to open his mouth to let the food in. He is quite a little tiger though, as he will fight off attempts to feed him when he's decided he's a) not ready, or b) not in the mood. His little hands flap around and he presses his lips, firmly together. He loved the blended chicken and butternut, but hated the beans and brocolli (admittedly it tasted very dull & dreary). I've tried a few of the bottled offerings, which he can't stand but he's happily eating the sachets of organic food made by Ella's Kitchen. I'm such a pragmatic mummy – I've never been one to insist on only organic for my children. He gets a mixture of everything.
One thing I'd never offered Zack is Cheerios, but I've bought a box and sprinkle a few on the table every morning. Calvin has excellent fine motor skills (again, completely different from his big brother), so loves picking up small things and putting them in his mouth.
We had a nasty few days of sore bottoms, and acidic nappies, but still no sign of teeth – going to have to wait and see. Someone said to me the other day, that the longer you wait for teeth, the better they are (I'm assuming quality). It sounds like another 'placatory mummy comment' to me. But it would be nice to believe.

We spent a lovely afternoon at a local fair in Bounds Green last weekend

Zack is pottering along. He's loving his new ball skills class – Enjoy a Ball – with Nicole and wishes most of Tuesday mornings away so that he can go, at lunchtime. We've moved the trampoline off the deck and into the far corner of the garden, so we can use the deck area. It feels far less claustrophobic now. We're having a lovely summer, so there's ample opportunity for sitting outside of an evening.

My cousins came for lunch 2 weeks ago, and Zack had a ball

His potty training has been successful, and most mornings he'll even get up and poo in the toilet instead of his nappy, which Keith and I think is the best gift.
Because of the state of the house, we don't have a very accessible TV area (it's in our bedroom), so Zack watches quite a few of his favourite CBB's shows on the 'mecuter' (computer), and is becoming incredibly dextrous with a mouse. He's got the hang of where the buttons are for clicking and how to navigate the screen. Ah, another generation eh ?
Our housekeeper, Tina, continues to be an enormous help. She is very willing and very able. She is crazy about Calvin and just wants to cuddle and play with him. Initially Zack was quite enamored with her, but now he's realised she's here to stay (and discipline him), so he needs a few AAK's (attitude adjustment klap) along the way for spitting, blowing razzies, and saying "No!". But he'll get there. Tina had her visa extended yesterday, so she's in high spirits and feeling very relieved. I really feel for her because she's been here almost a decade, but the new "Living in the UK" tests stand between her and getting her residency. I've read the material and some of it is beyond the grasp of a huge percentage of the British populace. They've certainly set the bar high.
My mum is back from her canalboat holiday this afternoon, so we look forward to getting her back. On Monday Nana will be going home to "Africa" (as Zack says), which will be a sad goodbye. Best we make the most of the next few days.
On the house-front, we continue a pace with the dry-rot removal. We've been told it'll be just another week 'till they're finished, then we can get our flooring back. And unwrap the sofas (which were delivered last week, but are standing up-ended, in the front lounge. We're all wishing our way to the kitchen installation, but that'll be sometime yet.

PT success

Zack is now 99% potty trained during the day. We haven't had any accidents in the last two weeks. Calvin was 9 months old yesterday, and is getting along well. Still no teeth, and no sitting. But he's a happy little baby, loves shrieking (new thing), sleeps on his tummy sometimes and has lovely sparkly eyes, just like his brother.

PT - nearly there

It's really strange how things sneak up on you as a parent. You hear it all the time, "they grow up so quickly," etc etc. I feel like we've been on the potty-training treadmill for a millenia and now suddenly Zack has got the message. Today we had NO accidents. Only hiccup was that he insisted on going to bed with no nappy, so I had to let him sleep for a while before I surreptitiously sneaked one on. Only 2 weeks ago we went cold turkey and were cleaning poo out of underpants, and wanting to vomit. And now here we are, and I have no idea what changed, or what was different, or why Zack got it right. I think that peer pressure at nursery has certainly helped because he gave me a very long story this morning about not being a little boy anymore, but that he was a big, big boy. He even pee'd standing up at Jackie's house this morning. I was completely verstom (afrikaans for 'stumped'). I didn't know he could do it.
All very exciting.

This is one of those classic shots of your kid – he SO doesn't want to be in the photo

Zack's nursery outing to Legoland Windsor on Thursday 14th May was great fun. I don't recommend trying to do it alone with 2 small children, but overall we had a great time. Here all his little mates are posing with the 'stars' from the water show (a sort of Indiana Jones style thing, with lots of falling off high towers into the water, jet-ski's and trampoline stunts) – the kids loved them.

PT - some success

Zack is very proud of himself (or it may just be the motivation of getting a lolly), but he has managed to get his wee in the potty a few times this week, and even a poo yesterday. I am very relieved that things are moving ahead in this sphere. I feel like we've been on the potty training (PT) treadmill for a year and a half with very little success.
This week alone, I've had to wipe up a very large puddle of urine in Marks & Spencer, and under the Tombola table at yesterday's Fair. Have I espoused the virtues of muslin clothes before ? I'm sure I have. They have MANY uses.
I'm looking forward to a week of more flushing, and less holding legs in the air to wipe bums

spring is in the air

We took ourselves off to Highgate woods over the weekend, and it was gloriously sunny. Kids running around kicking balls, eating icecream and climbing trees. Just wonderful!
We have hired a housekeeper to help with running the house and staying up to date on washing, cleaning and two untidy little boys. Let's face it, it's only going to get worse - mess wise - before it gets better. Calvin is rolling over, so crawling and sitting are not far away, which will add to the 'containment' issues. LOL.
The house is still a tip, and more so as the dry-rot work continues on and on. They've been here for 5 weeks now and we've gone down to soil in the lounge, the kitchen and now the utility room stairs. They're actually burrowing underneath the entrance hall tiles to find the extremity of the infestation. We're holding our breath to see if it's just a foot or so.
I feel emotionally tired just thinking about it all. And I don't feel like there's a huge amount of down time. Even tho' we have a TV (currently in our bedroom, away from too much dust), I seem to stagger up there at about 10:30pm and switch it on, flick through the channels, then roll over and go to sleep. I'm really not a fan of TV in the bedroom, it seems to eat into my 'self time'.

It's not all about YOU Zack

Enough of the horribly demanding 3 year old...
Calvin is doing so well. He is a very sweet little boy, with a cheery disposition (just like Mary Poppins) and quite placid for the most part. He is now learning to roll sideways.

He loves curling up his feet and playing with his toes. He enjoys the time on his tummy and his neck is getting stronger and stronger. I'm pottering along pretty steadily with the weaning. I'm following the 'baby led weaning' that I did with Zack - giving Calvin lots of things to gnaw on : apple sticks, banana wedges, cooked snap peas, carrots, potato. He does tend to gag on the unusual textures, but he's getting the hang of it.

Calvin & Isabel enjoy an intimate moment at Mudchute Farm

on the upside...

Good news (for once) : I have secured a place for Zack at a nearby nursery, for 3 days a week. It will start next Tuesday. Apparently I can claim £300-500/term for childcare from the government too, because he is over the age of 3. How great is that ? ! ?

despite the photo we had a fabulous time

Today was Zack's 3rd birthday party. Unfortunately he is now in bed with a raging temperature and a little delirious, talking about fish in dark tunnels and spiderman in his bedroom (he's NEVER watched spiderman, so I don't know what he's thinking). Have given him some paracetamol and will check his temp in an hour or so. Currently it's 38.5ºC
The party was an absolute hit : good ratio of adults to children. We had pass the parcel and everyone got a treat. I put out lots of fruit and veggies (in addition to the usual culprits - crisps / sweets), and everything got munched except the tomatoes. We had ice-cream cones towards the end of the afternoon with 'sprinkles' and of course the cake.

Timing is everything....

Jake, Alessio, Zack & Mia pose with their fancy cones

Zack and Keith spent all morning putting up the new trampoline and Dean (one of the daddies) helped Keith attach the net in time for the party to start. It was a complete hit, and everyone jumped and jumped and jumped. I am really pleased it went off so well.

I am now going to sit in bed with a glass of wine - I really miss having a TV and a sofa - and read a book while the kids sleep.

photos from SA holiday

zack chasing sienna and cole on our first Sunday

calvin enjoying a moment on grandpa's lap

back to earth with a thud...

Tomorrow is "exit day" - we fly out of OR Tambo at 21h25. It's going to be interesting to see how I cope with two little 'uns, but I'm not the first and the air hostesses have been very helpful thus far. Once I'm home tho...the daunting task of ripping up the floor and all the "dry rot work" lies ahead - what a pain in the butt. I feel exhausted just thinking about the mess and builders and Aaarrghhhh !
I lean on a verse in Matthew 6 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." [verse 34] - gives you a bit of perspective in all the mania.
On the upside tho' it'll be good to be home again. I can't wait to see the photos that Keith took and also begin the arrangements for Zack's 3rd birthday party next Saturday. Astonishing that he's turning three on Wednesday.

PND and all that

Yes, I know it's been quiet for the last while... it hasn't helped that we haven't had broadband for more than a month, but hey. Most of you know (from my Facebook posts at the least) that we've had a helluva time with the house - discovering dry rot under the kitchen floor (and who knows where else), ten days before we flew out to SA. I'm just hoping when Keith gets home tomorrow that it won't have grown into a forest in a short time. We'll have to wait and see.
I'm staying on in Jo'burg with the boys for another 10 days, which will be good for both Keith (getting up to speed back at the office), and the boys and I (more time with the grannies and cousins). I've been to see a counsellor and GP and have been diagnosed with Post Natal Depression (PND). It's strange, but I've had mixed feelings about talking about it since the diagnosis. I have been prescribed an SSRI antidepressant which I'll take for more than 6 months.