Here we go again!

Night three hundred and sixtyfive zillion, eight hundred and tootyfive....
It is now 8:22pm and Calvin & Zack are playing silly-buggers in the bathroom under the pretense of needing to "wee" Mommy. I have been into their room twice already, separated them from one another and into their own beds (bunkbed), as Calvin can't get down by himself - but he can get up! Exhausting.
After a while I just get sick and tired of going up there and yelling at them. Last night it went on until after 9:30pm and they were both sobbing in separate rooms. What does it take to get the message ? I just don't know

Aware

This morning when we were getting ready to go to school, Calvin said to me "In August it is my birthday." I nearly fainted !! How did he know ? Who told him ? He is a genius !

This evening each boy had a chance to say prayers. Zack was silly about it, and then wailed when I said he'd forfeited his chance. Calvin on the other hand, leapt in with "Thank you for soldiers, marching. Thank you for soldiers at the palace. Thank you for August, my birthday party. etc. etc." Zack rallied, and managed to say "Thank you Jesus for ..." each of his friends by name. Bless their socks.

As I was turning the lights off, the phone rang and it was Keith's mum to say that David has passed away while at home in Plumtree, Zimbabwe. He was all of 68 years old, and feeling old but not unhealthy. It seems he died of a heart attack. They're having difficulty contacting his wife and the neighbours (who have a phone). Zack's immediate response was, "Does that mean they're not coming?"
Meaning, Granny & Grandpa.
"No, I said. They'll still come to visit us in England."
"And what about Tessie?" was the next question.
"Yes, I'm sure we'll see Tessie again soon."
"But dogs aren't allowed on planes."
Good point!, "Well," I said, "we'll have to see her next time we're in South Africa."

Keeping tabs - night 14 of "getting the message"

Day 14: Tuesday 21st June
taken to bed : twice
time of quiet : 20h21

Last night I gave in and let him sleep in Zack's bedroom, because he kept creeping downstairs to be under Zack's bed. Tonight it was the same routine, so why am I fighting it ? Well, last night Zack woke up twice in the night crying and I don't know how much Calvin had to do with it. Mummy & daddy are just plain tired and want them to shut up

Keeping tabs - night 10 of "getting the message"

Day 10: Friday 17th June
taken to bed : a million times :(
time of quiet : 21h15

Sheesh! He is SO not getting the message. It's driving me mental!
AND he was up this morning (Sat) at 5:40am - bloody 'ell

Keeping tabs - night 7 of "getting the message"

last night we put Calvin to bed around 8pm and he was up and down at least 4 times. It ended with a smack and the door to his bedroom being closed. You wonder how long it's going to take to drive this message home ?!

Keeping tabs - night 4 of "getting the message"

Wed 8th June
babysitting night, but apparently all went according to plan.
Certainly Calvin was out of bed twice before I left at 8:15pm.
Depressingly, he woke up at 1:30am and again at 3:10am so I am a Z.O.M.B.I.E.

Keeping tabs - night 3 of "getting the message"

Day 3: Tuesday 7 June
taken to bed 2x
time of quiet : 21h00

Keeping tabs - night 2 of "getting the message"

Day 2: Monday 6 June
taken to bed 3x
time of quiet : 20h53

Keeping tabs - night 1 of "getting the message"

Calvin is driving me up the spout with not going to bed.

Day 1: Sunday 5 June
taken to bed 4x
+ one more time for wee & poo
time of quiet : 20h40

Regression Session

Sigh. Calvin is driving us up the wall - new trick is to wee and poo in his trousers. Not sure what's up. He will literally make a wee in the potty and ten minutes later produce an enormous wet pair of trousers (preferably once we've left home). I know it's to be expected but it's exasperating.
That being said, he really is good when he's on the potty / toilet to make use of the opportunity. And he's fastidious about washing his hands - praise the Lord. I have done one thing right :)
We've had family here for the past 2 1/2 weeks which was just blissful as Calvin now wakes up anywhere between 5:30am and 6:45am. We actually got some rest in the mornings which was much needed.
Spent some fun time with Shirley, Maggie, Claire & Caryl as well as Erin & Mario.

Kew Gardens, green house

growing up

It's been a whirlwind past month with all the bank holidays, royal wedding and now family visiting from S Africa. Calvin has been hit by the early rising sun, and we are all subject to his antics at approx 5:30am which is very, very hard. He is able to climb up Zack's bunk-bed now and wake up his brother (for company), and shout loudly that he has made a "poo". which needs changing. Bless Keith - he mostly gets up and does that.
It means that we're all a bit smashed at the moment. However - next week is half-term and that means we can rest during the day as there are no big commitments.

Keith bought a new clock for him to try and sort things out - a Gro-Clock. It shows a little sun when it's time to wake up. The rest of the time it is a star, which means "sleep time". Calvin is too clever for that - he just pulls the power cable out when it suits him AND tells you the whole story about the sunshine meaning it's time to wake up. Hopefully with repetition and enforcement we may yet get him to sleep until 6:30am.
Zack has a new star chart to get his behavior back on track in the evenings. It's really worked and we've been tough on marking his achievements. He managed 10 stars and went off to the cinema rejoicing last weekend with Keith. The next star chart has hopes of a visit to Legoland. We shall see. Keith has said he needs 100 stars to go, but that seems unattainable to me. Time for negotiation.
Calvin has regressed a little on the potty training - deliberately wee'ing in his trousers during the day. This morning he actually poo'ed in them too which meant he got a stern talking to. Little blighter. He also thinks it's hilarious to say "poo poo", and "poo head", and "poo face" and "willy poo". Dull toilet humour. You can only tell them off SO many times before you recognise that ignoring it is the best way forward. We're trying hard.
Calvin is picking up more and more - his vocabulary is impressive and his understanding of things too. He is still suffering from separation anxiety a lot. His gross motor skills have been 'on vacation' this week as he fell down on tarmac twice in half an hour and has taken the skin off both knees, his elbow and the palm of one hand. It's just horrid and you can't help but feel for him - poor little thing. Thank goodness for Shrek plasters which seem to have done wonders.
Speaking of which - we are besotted with Shrek DVDs at present, and can watch little else.
Calvin has two firm favourite books : the Hungry Caterpillar and a new pop-up book on Noah & the Ark.
Tina has handed in her notice - which is sad for us all. She will leave on 2 July and move to Southampton. Her husband has been offered a job there. I've been quite emotional about it all, and trying to feel motivated about a solution or p.o.a. I'm vascillating between another housekeeper and a cleaner who does some ironing. The child-care issue is never going to go away, so in reality I need to keep that larder well-stocked.
My freelance work has also picked up so there's more going on during my spare time which is a challenge.
My sister-in-law, Tammy, has announced that she's preggie on her blog. I'm still not sure if that means it's common-knowledge or if it's a secret... what is public and what is private ? Not sure. Our boys will have a new cousin early next year, which is exciting. Hurrah!

Keith has just completed a small photo project, taking each of our eyes.
The similarities in the family are striking

One man and his dog....

Last Saturday we took ourselves off up north to Bromsgrove (just south of Birmingham) to visit Frankie & Agnieszka and their new addition to the family - Jethro - a golden retriever. He is now 5 months old and full of bounce and lick.
The weather was glorious and the local playground was well frequented during Jethro's walks. We also popped into the café for ice cream. It was such a good break - far away from all the responsibilities and to-do lists. The only challenge was getting up at 6:40am most days with Calvin, sigh. But beyond that it was a special time with family.

we went to Cadbury's World on Monday. Sadly Keith missed it as he was back at work

Zack and Aga take on one another on the iPad

Calvin's potty-training continues unabated. He is doing mightily well and altho we have accidents here and there, he is in underpants all day, every day. Praise has worked really well with this little chap, and I regularly catch him saying, "I so clever", to himself. Delightful.
His vocabulary is excellent and he is making himself well understood. He is most definitely a two-year-old with lots of "no's". Strangely we are still getting to know him, as Zack is such a big personality and tends to take over. Having Tina (our housekeeper) away for a month was really a special time of one-to-one with Calvin and I think we both feel that we understand and know him better.
Hammy, the hamster, is still healthy and busy (at night). He has been 'downsized' from Chairman Mao's palace as he managed to chew a hole in the bottom of one of the panels. he is now in a smaller box with a wheel attached and he seems more settled and less intent on escape.

and we're IN

Calvin has been accepted to attend St James' nursery. That means as of September, Calvin will be going to school with Zack in the mornings. I can collect him each day at noon. Again, I feel like God was in control through all the insanity that was his time in-utero and delivery. He was supposed to be a September baby (end of September), which would have made him the oldest in his year. But God had other plans : he is now going to be the YOUNGEST in his year. The only person younger will be he/she who is born on the 31st of August!
Calvin's language skills are coming along in leaps and bounds - he is sooo good at it now. We spent all of today together and he had so much to say and talk about. It was a real blessing.

at Kenwood House, climbing "by 'self"

He is potty training too - we started last Thursday (which makes him 2 years and 7 months). He is doing brilliantly. We've only had a few hiccups - mostly when we've been out and about and far away from "facilities". Today, we spent more than 5 hours in the car and he did very well both on arrival and departure. Bless him.
He and Zack are still sharing a bedroom. I'm not sure how long it will last as it's really trying our patience at bedtime each night. We may move them back into separate rooms to remedy it.

Five - it's imminent

Amar Jai, Tabitha, Zack, Loic & Jayda anticipate lighting of the candles

happy hooligans

Captain Barnacle cake - thank you the Octonauts!

nearly, almost five years old

Well, we took the bull by the horns and invited Zack's entire school class to his 5th birthday party. I wouldn't have done it if young Hector's mum, Frances, hadn't asked me if we could do a joint event. So Hector and Zack decided it was an Octonaut theme which gave us momentum and direction for the day. It was noisy and chaotic but I think the kids had a blast. I went home and into bed by 8:30pm!
It's been quite a week. Tina is away in the Philippines for another 3 weeks, and I'm trying to stay ontop of as much as I can. Today I came off my Vespa trying to deliver it to the garage to have it serviced. Ended up in A&E for a few hours. Thankfully there are no broken parts of me, but I'm in a lot of pain which doesn't make for easy "mummy-ing". The other thing that's been difficult is that Tina's replacement (a friend of hers) is expensive and not as good as her so I'm going to have to have the 'difficult conversation' with her on the weekend where I tell her not to come back next week. Emotionally it's something I find very hard to do, but there you go.
The boys are fine - their usual raucous selves. We have a babysitter standing in for Tina, Kate - a friend's daughter who's doing her A levels - and she has managed to get the boys to sleep in the same bedroom for 2 nights running. It's astounding. Keith and I are well impressed and hope it'll now be easier to pursue. We had tried it last week and ended up at 10pm shouting and screaming after n- times going upstairs and shouting at them to, 'go to sleep' and 'If I have to come up there one more time.....' you know how it goes. [sigh]
They're both thriving. Calvin is talking up a storm and Zack is wrestling with new concepts all the time. Last week it was infinity. He also had a discussion about if we could shoot at heaven.
On Tuesday we went for a play-date to Mendele's house and they discussed "Jesus, the Good Shepherd" on the way home in the car. It was pretty heated I believe, and Mendele said Jesus was no one he'd heard of and that he would kill Jesus. Oh boy! There will be time for these discussions when they're older I hope.
Tomorrow is Red Nose Day in aid of Comic Relief so I hope to capture some fun moments - Zack with crazy hair and Calvin dressed in red or PJs. That's if I'm not in too much pain to pick up the monstrous camera :)

unequal fight

Well, here we are well into 2011. I've started planning Zack's 5th birthday party - a joint event with another little boy in his class.
I was feeling quite despondent this evening about food preparation. So much time goes into a healthy and nutritious meal and it feels like 9 times out of 10 it gets discarded with, "I no like it". I feel like the boys live on things like pasta, toast, rice & chicken, fish fingers & oven chips, peas, brocolli, and loads of fruit and yoghurt. Zack eats almost anything except mushrooms (knowingly), but Calvin is awfully fussy which annoys me. He won't eat carrots, Zack will, he won't eat potatoes, Zack will, he doesn't like lasagne (handmade by mommy and it takes at least an hour) and Zack will only eat it if I don't put spinach in it, and so forth, and so forth. It's really wearing.

trivia ? for some

Zack is coming on in leaps and bounds with his reading. His teacher is delighted and I think he's feeling really empowered by the whole exercise. It is a wonderful thing to observe.
He struggles with "d" and "b" - transposing them - but I'm sure it'll come with time. The Ruth Miskin literacy programme is working wonders with him, so 'Hurrah for St James!' in promoting it.
Mrs. Piesold, Zack's class teacher, is an incredibly positive and energetic person. She has decided that daily rewards of one star, are not cutting it. She has up'ped it to a maximum of 5 stars a day for good behaviour. Zack is coming home with 4 stars as a rule, which is excellent. Last week we had a friend over to play - Danny. These two don't get on at school, and Zack's first comment when I collect him is often, "Danny only got 2 stars today!" So, there is a lot of competitiveness between them. The play date was a good exercise, but Zack was in tears for the last half hour as Danny didn't want to do what he wanted him to.
In light of that though, Zack had an excellent day last week when he got 5 stars AND won the trophy for Enjoy-a-Ball. As a reward he and I went out for pizza (alone) in Hornsey and he got to choose exactly what he wanted, and to take the bus there and back. It was such a special evening. He must have glowed for about four days afterward. Bless his little socks.
Calvin is putting sentences together. Last Friday (so a week ago), he said very firmly, "We want yoghurt," to which we all laughed. And then on Saturday when he was misbehaving I said to him, "Who wants a shaya (smack, in Zulu) ?", to which he replied, "me!". Keith, Zack and I fell about laughing. He is trying more and more to make himself understood.
He is loving being in the bigger bed, which he calls the "new bed". He shows it to everyone, and will often be the first words off his tongue in the morning...
"Daddy. New bed", he says, pointing.
He is also getting on with the potty training. Tonight was the second time he's made a poo in the potty at bathtime. We all go crazy and praise him, and applaud, so he's getting the message loud and clear.
Nursery is going better and better. He pretends it's really hard to say goodbye, but within in seconds he's stopped crying and having fun with his mates.
It's end of year madness too - so many activities for school. Tomorrow is Cakes for Clothes day, so we were baking most of this afternoon. Tomorrow afternoon is the Christmas Fayre at School. Next week is the Nativity Play, when Zack will be one of the 3 wise men. Part of me wants to point out that there weren't 3, and that the 3 refers to the gifts. Part of me also wants to point out that he's not a "king" (as the school newsletter put it), but a "wise man from the East". Considering it's a Christian School I think it's important to get the facts straight, but hey ho - as Andy always says, "choose your battles Ruth!" I've chosen purple with a gold crown and Zack loves it.

black forest cupcake

filmed this on my iPhone and the quality is much better if I email it to you, but here it is for posterity :)

smarty pants

Calvin has been taking clever pills at night - he's suddenly burst forth with words and concepts and a desire to communicate. It's too cute. Obviously this is accompanied by more strident measures in the willpower department, but nevertheless it is still a wonder to observe. He is eager to mimmick Zack and this goes as far as silly dance moves and facial expressions. Calvin can carry on with them for days, long after the novelty has worn off for his big brother. However Zack is still very tender with Calvin and is always keen for a big, outstretched arm, hug - where he can hoist Calvin off his feet. This is the sort of relationship I hope they can sustain for years to come.

star chart take 3

We're making great use of star charts. They really do work with Zack. At the moment we're taking strides with independent activities - bathing himself, dressing himself, etc. Hurrah! He's growing up and it's so lovely. He's so proud of the fact that he can.
Calvin is growing taller, and looking more like a boy. He seems to be coping better with nursery and sunday school too. He still winds up the "don't leave me" machine, but within moments of my departure he's having a blast. Keith and I are both relieved to see this transition is it's necessary and it's so easy to indulge the 'cute baby' that he is.
You try so hard to be fair in raising them, AND then you're trying to find the individual motivators for each child, the right angle on discipline, how to show them you love them and give them security, and so forth...
Man, parenting is not for the faint-hearted !

wisdom needed : post here

It was Zack's Parent-Teachers meeting last night. Overall he's come back with great feedback, except for the hitting of classmates. His teacher has put it as "zero tolerance of physical aggression". Obviously he's not alone and there are a few boys that are setting one another off (I saw it happen in the playground yesterday when another little boy was playing with Zack after school, on the slide, and he just hit Zack as they were sliding down. Zack then retaliated).
Keith and I have been talking about this for the past few weeks, as it's been in the headlines. It is so much about the how of dealing with it, and what to do. Zack does thrive on positive reinforcement, so the carrot of praise is ever before us. The real challenge however is the initiate, the beginning, the 'what starts it'? question.
We have drummed it into him that he cannot hit other children, (just like we used to say, "no biting"). We have drummed it into him that if someone hits him, he must tell the teacher. Immediately.
I feel like he's getting mixed messages though. If Calvin hits him here at home, he tells me, and I say "Calvin is very naughty, isn't he?", and then I tell Calvin off. But there really isn't any justice in that is there?
Talking to my counselor, she's said that it's just massive emotional need that exists within children of this age, and they can't tell you what or why. So if Zack is full of emotion and someone hits him, going and telling the teacher seems like an insipid plea for justice in that situation. I really, really need to get my head around this.