dobrodošli

Margitte, Franco & Zack share a seat for just a moment

Zack dashing down the street on a hot afternoon.

Zack had plenty of opportunity to hone his
stone-throwing skills - 99% beaches are pebbles.

We've had a great break in Korcula, Croatia with good friends from Pretoria - 2 weeks of good weather, outdoor space and a short walk into nature. My mum left to go back to SA today, so we've also been blessed with 3 weeks with a grandparent, and all the extra help and TLC that that entails. We're all feeling quite refreshed and happy. I hope it lasts.

Pregnancy :
It's going well. I'm just tired and feeling very tight-skinned.

busy ?

Sometimes life gets a bit hectic. Take this list for example: here are quite a few of my good friends and acquaintances having babies within 6 weeks of one another. You wanna meditate on co-incidence... well, here it is :

Cindy DeOude - due 25 Aug
Geraldine Wallbank - due 31 Aug
Jenny Bray - due late aug, 1st week Sept
Naz Farouqui - around then...
Ruth Guthrie - due 18 Sept
Kate Dennill - due 30 sept, C-section prob 22 Sept
Maria McVey - due 23 Sept
Yolande Kruger - due 23 Sept
Alison Volpi - due 2 Oct

Clause: We do not live in the same country, in fact, the Americas are the only continent not represented on this list. So it's not down to Christmas power failures, or the like.

Yeah! Co-incidence.

War of Wills

We have just returned from a 2.5 hour round-trip walk - I pushed the pram and Zack scooted. We got home to complete "meltdown" (toddler tantrum - screaming, crying, lying on the floor and shouting "NO!! NO!! NO!!") and I can go off my head with frustration. I am really in no state to be walking miles and miles, but someone has to take Zack out to burn off the excess energy. My left hip joint is killing me and no amount of hip/glute stretches and knee-rolls are going to fix this - believe me ! I've tried.
If anything convinces me that children, (nevermind all of mankind) are sinful, fallen creatures, it's days like today. We travel all that way - basically the entire trip is for Zack's benefit. We are doing all the things he likes doing. We stop at a coffee-shop for a frozen juice and a muffin to share. Then he scoots all around the Jubilee Mall which is a treat as the floors are marble, smooth and wide. He gets to press all the lift buttons, the pedestrian buttons, AND the disabled door buttons - mummy is VERY patient today and indulges Zack's button-pressing needs at every opportunity. He munches on an apple I brought with me and eats some of the sandwich too. He is neither hungry, nor thirsty. I changed his nappy after the coffee shop. (many boxes ticked, that might otherwise lead to bad behaviour). But, the end result is not a child that's had a good time, rather it ends in tears and tantrums.

• He does not stop, when I call to him to "stop". He blithely scoots off out of sight - 80% of the time.
• He does not come back, when I call him to. He'll come back if he sees that he's taken a wrong turn and we're going in a different direction to him, but that's the only instance of returning to base.

When we got home, I said he could scoot up two speed bumps in the neighbour's car park. He disappeared out of the other side of their building (60m away), and came around the block. He is two years old. Yes, we live in a cul-de-sac, but that is absolutely no reason for his disobedience. I can stand there and call and shout to him to come back, but he won't. I thought perhaps I should just take the scooter away - there have to be consequences to my pleas for him to be obedient/listen. I remember Keith reading the Baby Wise book which said we shouldn't expect our children to do things beyond their capability. I think this is a case in point. He doesn't understand that he can die, be maimed or seriously injured if he goes off on his own. YOU CANNOT REASON WITH A TWO YEAR OLD !

What does Supernanny have to say ?

• Toddlers act on impulse.
• Toddlers do not set out to wind you up - haven't yet developed this ability.
• They do not have a sense of time, so don't understand the concept of "waiting".

I need to work harder on 2 techniques :

• Reinforce good behaviour with attention & praise.
• Not make empty threats: take the scooter away if he doesn't listen (because I can't run and catch him). Have a "time out" in his bedroom, when he starts giving me lip (shouting "No") or being aggressive.

my own comments:
Boy oh boy, I can see why some parents just opt out - they let their kids run riot instead of stepping in and doing something. It is exhausting being consistent with discipline, although I know it will lead to happier, more contented and self-assured children. I wish there was a restore button I could press when I'm starting to lose it. I would be happier with myself and I think Zack would respond better.

I am hot, I am not

I've suddenly started feeling decidedly warm. Having carried Zack through the opposite seasons, I keep expecting to be warm, and finding I'm not. Well, it seems like that's all about to change - I felt like a glow-worm last night in church (yes, there were alot of people in the building too, so that might have had something to do with it).

Pregnancy Wear(y)
We have a wedding to attend in 2 week's time, so I'm naturally concerned about what I'm going to wear. I'm going to have a little rant here about the rubbish clothes that designers (read, High Street designers, not couture) think pregnant women should be wearing. There is really SO little that is flattering, it's depressing! Very few preggie mums are willing to blow the budget on an outfit... there's just no point, unless it's an extremely significant event. I've been looking at what stars seem to think is attractive, and there really is a broad sample out there - ranging from hideous, to "do-able", to Wow. True, many of the High Street stores have suddenly started stocking maternity wear - this wasn't the case 2 years ago. I thought Zara's range was quite nice, when I popped in on Saturday, but they're still designing their trousers for Wednesday legs (sigh). And, variety doesn't always mean you'll be able to find something. Even M&S have some nice stuff, but the melted plastic on the reverse of the neckline was far from comfortable.
When I was in Australia and 4 months pregnant with Zack, I found hoards of lovely maternity clothes. Why am I failing here, in the Land of Fashion ? I don't think it's just me – not even celebs know what they're doing with their bumps half the time. Check out some of these pics and tell me what you think....





I conclude that it is not easy to look good while you're pregnant. If you have pots of money you can probably afford to have your hair done nicely, and let your stylist and make-up artist fix what they can, but the basic shape is pretty hard to work with. Let's face it !

supermumeroni

Today I had to run for a train. I had to carry : the baby bag (medium heavy), Zack's scooter, the pram, and Zack (17kgs). We had to climb across a foot bridge at speed and run to make the train to London. I could not afford to miss it - the next one would have been 1/2 an hour later. I did it ! Even I'm impressed. I am a super mummy. I did not die.

we know the words

One of the (expected) developmental stages is that children start talking to themselves while they play. In the beginning it's only gibberish, but soon you start to recognise words, and then phrases. We're now at a point where we know the phonetics of the songs, and here's a little taste of a favourite....

Outwards & Upwards

Yesterday was a glorious day - sunny and bright AND a public holiday. We spent most of it on Blackheath kicking the ball around and flying a kite. Wonderful memories made and caught a bit of sun.

(stoopid photo won't rotate!) Zack and Keith tackle keeping the kite airborne

preggie mum holds the kite's spindle –
we let it fly high enough to use up all the string – how exhilarating.

The past week was marked by our trip, last Monday (28th April), to Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital for our fetal cardiology scan. Baby #2 came through with flying colours – all low risk. God is good ! They have great equipment there so we're pleased we went. The consultant was also happy to check the gender of the baby, and we are going to have another boy. Hooray! I get to use all the clothes again - have been faithfully washing, folding and packing things away these last 2 years, so that's great. I wonder how Grandpa Guthrie will feel to hear he has another "name bearer" on the way ?
My pelvic girdle pain is ongoing. Some days I have NO pain, and others (like the Monday we went to Great Ormond Str) I could have wept I was in so much pain. Sadly it's not like a back injury - so I don't know if it's coming or not. I'm very naughty about doing my physio exercises... I just don't believe that they're helping if they hurt so much to do. I don't have a gym mat, so I have to do them on the floor which is very uncomfortable.

Expanding our Options:
We've been looking at properties on a more serious basis, for the past few months, hoping to find a four bedroom house with a garden. There's still no clear decision although it's made us look more seriously at schools in our area, and neighbouring suburbs. Being "from the colonies" makes it quite hard, as you have no innate knowledge of the terrain, but have to go with other's opinions and what you read. We are certainly not of the opinion that "old is best" ie, Eton, Harrow, etc; nor that "local is lekker" – you should see some of the scary institutions around! I can only hope we'll make the right decision ultimately.

It was a white day

The other day, while climbing down the stairs to the front door, Zack invited me to examine the walls, the banister and the ceiling, with the revelation "Mommy - walls white", and then "roof white" etcetera etcetera. This is quite a big step in my books; up until now he's happily pointed out blue, green and red, but seldom yellow, and never white or black. These days we're getting "blue dustbin", "red car" and more. Nothing like a bit of colour identification to broaden the repertoire. In addition, he's starting to say funny, commonly used phrases like, "see you later", before toddling off to the lounge.

He is crazy about his scooter: it goes to bed with him. Since visiting friends in Surbiton last weekend, he has gained so much confidence as he scooted for more than a mile and a half, unassisted. His stability is vastly improved, though he still favours one foot for pushing. He is slowly learning how to turn the thing - a much more complicated manouvre, and a few weeks away I would guess. He tends to stop, pick it up, and put it down in the direction he wants to travel in. Negotiating fellow pedestrians is more like hit-and-run.

For his birthday, Zack was given a fabulous puzzle of pictures from A to Z. It has been such a hit - the right thing at the right time. He loves it and builds it at least twice a day. He's learnt to identify certain pairings which brings him closer to completing the whole task. Knowing colours also seems to have helped, because he'll say to me "pink one" or "blue one" for pieces he's looking for. It's been an opportunity for him to learn what things look like eg. yo-yo and guitar.

Being a boy, Zack is constantly hurtling around at breakneck speed. I didn't realise little boys were quite so rough & tumble. We went to the playground last week and Zack was drawn to the merry-go-round, (always a death trap - I don't know a single adult who hasn't had a bad experience on one !). Three older children were going around on it, and Zack kept shouting "stop" and then getting on, but then trying to get off before it stopped again. Necessarily it meant he got dragged around, or fell off. Thankfully, these days, playgrounds have "all weather" surfacing which is cushioned, unlike the gravel, concrete or sand that we all grew up with - so no bleeding. It isn't a deterent however - he kept going back for more pain, even though we'd had more than three screaming-crying moments. After a while you get "moedeloos" and give in to the stubborn will of those who will not listen. So that meant more falling down. In the end I dragged him off, and he proceeded to have a major tantrum. He climbed up some seating, and then fell backwards through a gap in it. I nearly had a heart-attack. But he was fine, just crying (more). I tell you, kids can give you grey hair just watching their antics. We went home after that - I'd had enough, even if Zack hadn't.

still to write
Sleeping - how to get him to sleep in his own bed / freedom of mobility / stalling techniques

Pregnant Progress:
I'm feeling fine most of the time, but struggling with heartburn and a condition very common amongst preggie mums - Pelvic Girdle Pain. Not much I can do about it really, altho' I have been for physio. It's funny, but I had tried all the things she's got me doing now - knee rolling, knee hugging, and it only seemed to make it worse. Ontop of that, I've been given a maternity belt (a really wide piece of heavy duty clothing elastic, with velcro fasteners which you're supposed to tighten around your pelvic girdle), which will theoretically offer my pelvis more support, and minimize twisting and the other nasties, that make it ache so much. I'm supposed to wear it when walking.

Down's Syndrome screening

Got a letter from the hospital this week, to say that our Down's syndrome screening test results are in. Obviously they can't tell whether the baby has Down's but can give you a risk indication. Because I'm over 35 years old, the NHS offer a Nuchal Translucency scan as standard at 13-14 weeks. My results have come back as "low". There's a lot to think about there... I'm not the worrying kind, so I've tried not to think too much about what we would do if we found out there was something wrong with the baby. The language is also very emotive - "wrong" can be a horrible word when you have a Down's child - nor is "disabled" very helpful. "Challenged" has become more of a joke, than a describer. I wonder about 'dis'abled and 'un'able? When they say a child has a learning 'disability', it makes it sound like it can be overcome - and I suppose in some cases in can. But what about those children who don't overcome ? Are they labeled 'unable'. All a bit un-politically correct, and bad psychology to say "can't" I suppose.

I'm still feeling pretty tired despite being at 15 weeks now. I keep wondering what's happened to that 'energy boost' I was supposed to get after the first trimester? Maybe parenting a toddler took it away. My back, or rather my coccyx is killing me - I keep getting nasty twinges when I'm sitting on the floor (you do that alot with a toddler), when I'm lying down (as often as I can), and when I'm walking. Funnily enough, walking in Wales with Zack in the backpack - all 17.6kgs of him - was really not painful at all. I would say that's a testimony to my Merrell's: definitely the most comfortable outdoor shoes I've ever owned; probably helped that my posture was more 'normal' because I was worrying about the backpack instead of the pain.
Zack is thriving and I made a note of his height on his 2nd birthday : 88cm tall.

musical memory

This is one of those "chuckle" moments.... We were driving to mum & tot's group today and Rihanna's "Umbrella" was playing on the radio. After lunch I caught Zack singing, ' ella, ella, eh eh eh'. How fabulous is that ?

Two years old

He got a micro scooter for his birthday. They are already very attached, so getting dressed was a saga.

Our son's 2nd birthday, and we have the standard parent response : "Can't believe that it's exactly two years since we were sitting, stunned in a hospital ward, staring at a tiny baby, sleeping soundly". The time has certainly been a fast train rushing by. Mum tells me the time goes even faster when they're teens, which I can believe because I feel like we live each and every day with Zack - at his pace - sharing his discoveries, developments, experiences. When he's a teen we'll be sharing so little of his day-to-day life.

Zack says "Happy Birthday ebbybody", because he doesn't like it when we sing only to him. So Happy Birthday everyone celebrating with us !

Second Scan of baby #2

For the uninitiated this is just another of those wierd ultrasound pics with blobs of white and black and who-knows-what-they're-looking-at ? For the rest, it's a moment of excitement and joy at seeing that our little bub is doing oh-so-well. Compared to the last scan, baby now fills all the uterine space (how fast they grow!) I'm feeling less sick in the evenings, and I'm getting over my aversion to coffee shops (tho' still not drinking the stuff), and the tummy is visible to all. We finally seem to be "in" the system, following a few false starts with our local midwives. We're grateful that we'll be in line to deliver at the new Barkantine Birthing Centre, which is not far from our flat.
There won't be more scans for some time - next one due only at 20 weeks, ie. May - so we'll have to make do with watching the tummy grow, sore back, painful hips, smaller meals, heartburn, ah yes... now I remember.

It's another year for babies: so far we've welcomed little Jamie Hundermark in Johannesburg, Jaykob in New Zealand, Abigail in Romford, Julia in Dublin, Holly in Jo'burg and now baby Samantha in Reading. Busy time eh ? Congrats everyone.

Samantha born to Karen & Andrew on 8 March

Ruby's 2nd birthday

Pudding & cake time ! the kids tuck in.

Zack tentatively holds one of the guinea pigs

Caitlin tickled pink with the purring guinea pig

Caitlin & Anokye, Trish & Amy

Who dat ?

I feel like my emotions have run the full gamut of late, from delight and joy at the things Zack says and does, to pure desperation when he is 'contrarian' and will not do anything you ask him to. This coupled with the announcement that we are expecting our second child in September, means that I really am not the most rational being in E14 (our postal code) right now.
I was very grateful when chatting to an acquaintance 2 weeks ago, that her son was also a head-banger, and now a biter. She was very sympathetic about it and also very relaxed, which gave me hope for the future. I know it's 'just a phase', but that's no comfort when you're right in it, so talking to someone who's been through it makes me feel a little better.
Zack's latest thing is to say "who dat?" when he hears a noise outside / in another room. It is just too cute. He'll often suggest some answers too, but they're pretty repetitive, "Daddy?" or "Kelly?" or "Nana?". Another thing that happens all the time is him saying "Amy's house" and now "Harriett's house", when we're in the car - like he's telling me where we're going. The truth is that Amy lives in Australia - which I've explained numerous times (with map), and we visit Harriett on Thursdays. It's amazing actually that he already associates directions in the car with a destination.
Another association that he's got sorted out, is that waiters or waitresses bring apple juice. So when we're in a restaurant with friends, Zack will catch the eye of the passing server and say "Apple juice" in an expectant kind of way. At this point, I'll get the enquiring look from aforementioned staff member. Then Keith and I will laugh. Remarkable little people.

Night terrors

Zack wearing Kelly's UGG boots

I'm writing tonight because of the absence of something, rather than the presence of it. Zack has had episodes in the past where he's woken sometimes once, sometimes three times a night, crying uncontrollably and will not be comforted. Books call it "night terrors" but I'm not 100% convinced. Zack wakes up (or seems to be awake), but is really freaking out completely. You try and pick him up and he thrashes and twists so that you cannot hold him. Any attempts to sooth him verbally or touch him / stroke his hair, encourages more violent protestation. It's really very distressing as a parent. On the positive side however, he goes back to sleep quite quickly without more intervention, or the need for milk / a blanket.
And to conclude, it's the absence of these episodes that I'm celebrating. We haven't really had any in quite some time (remember mummies measure everything days and hours), so I'm very, very relieved. It also equates with a better night's sleep all 'round, so I'm grateful for that too.
Now all I have to get right is limiting the liquids in the evenings so we aren't waking up soaking wet. Ah potty training – I see thee but I know thee not.

First Scan of baby #2

so much

You can well imagine how I'm feeling with more than 8 weeks of development to catch up on here on the blog. Zack has grown and matured so much - he is STILL biting (worse than before but more rarely), but knows how to be completely charming, flash that smile, work the room. He can be very affectionate when he wants to be, yet he also knows how to wield his will. He wishes everything could be his way, but ain't that the way of toddlers ? It seems like time is rushing away, as he gets more confident on playground equipment, speaks more, understands more (uh-oh), and sleeps better at night (thank the Good Lord)! He is not a baby any more and having weaned him of his dummy while in NZ, we feel like most of the hard stuff is done. Potty training is still a hope and a dream - altho' he's quite curious he has no interest in sitting on the toilet or a potty, or anything. He can name it, and sometimes tell me when it's happening but that's as far as we've gone. The general consensus is that they get there in their own time, so I'm not pushing. What's worse : a 4-year-old in nappies, or a 4-year-old with a dummy ? Attending nursery is going to cure Zack of the former because in the UK children have to be potty-trained to attend school. We've ticked off the latter, so I suppose we're on the road, one way or the other. I do pity parents with school children, with dummy in mouth, being pushed in a pram, but there you go. We all make choices.

I thought it was going to much harder than it was.

Ah, the joy of antipodean summers – the inflatable pool / castle
includes hours of fun at no charge, weather virtually guaranteed.

Visit an associated site

Hi regular blog readers. If you're looking for news on what Zack's been up to then please visit the blog I'm keeping while we travel around New Zealand...

http://nzr0adtrip.blogspot.com/

See you there for the travelling toddler news.

vocabulary explosion

Zack is entering the field of speech with gusto. The vocabulary to date is :
Mikkis = christmas, man, morning, two = his favourite number, two dummies, gone (open hands), bikkit = biscuit, neigh = horse, moo = cow, baa = sheep, goggo, boat, mahkoo = monkey, milk, apple, 'na = banana, chicken = meat or fish, zack, yes, ta-too = thank you, please, go, jump, ladder, whee = slide in playground or any slope to run down, bird, duck, cat, duggy = digger, dogggie = dog, bag, open, close, ut = up, down, door, teeth, eyes, nose, mouth, ears, toes, knees, tongue, tars = stars, ball, truck, shoe-shoes, car, ow & sore, sock, wet, dirty, bee, glasses, belly-button, hullo, bye bye, mummy, daddy, no-daddy, amy, baby, bok' = brocolli, cheese, banket = blanket, potty, poo, wee-wee, bite, stop, choo-choo = train, taxi, row = as in row row row your boat, pull, push, book, cooking, by'ikle = bicycle, tower, tunnel, key, rain, puddle, mountain, beep beep - reversing or excuse me. He tends to lisp his "s's" which I'm sure will pass in time, so we're doing well.

sugarlump

my son is a genius - he can jump !!!
I'm not sure what this means, but I am well impressed that he can do the two-feet-off-the-ground thing. My book says that 25 - 30 months is the time for jumping, so.....
Zack is 4 months ahead on the jumping scale.

Hope all my competitive mum friends are reading this and feeling Whoah! intimidated.

You see I can say that because Zack walked at 16 months, has just started putting sentences together, etc. etc. I must celebrated the small victories - this is a competition don't you know ?!