so much

You can well imagine how I'm feeling with more than 8 weeks of development to catch up on here on the blog. Zack has grown and matured so much - he is STILL biting (worse than before but more rarely), but knows how to be completely charming, flash that smile, work the room. He can be very affectionate when he wants to be, yet he also knows how to wield his will. He wishes everything could be his way, but ain't that the way of toddlers ? It seems like time is rushing away, as he gets more confident on playground equipment, speaks more, understands more (uh-oh), and sleeps better at night (thank the Good Lord)! He is not a baby any more and having weaned him of his dummy while in NZ, we feel like most of the hard stuff is done. Potty training is still a hope and a dream - altho' he's quite curious he has no interest in sitting on the toilet or a potty, or anything. He can name it, and sometimes tell me when it's happening but that's as far as we've gone. The general consensus is that they get there in their own time, so I'm not pushing. What's worse : a 4-year-old in nappies, or a 4-year-old with a dummy ? Attending nursery is going to cure Zack of the former because in the UK children have to be potty-trained to attend school. We've ticked off the latter, so I suppose we're on the road, one way or the other. I do pity parents with school children, with dummy in mouth, being pushed in a pram, but there you go. We all make choices.

I thought it was going to much harder than it was.

Ah, the joy of antipodean summers – the inflatable pool / castle
includes hours of fun at no charge, weather virtually guaranteed.

Visit an associated site

Hi regular blog readers. If you're looking for news on what Zack's been up to then please visit the blog I'm keeping while we travel around New Zealand...

http://nzr0adtrip.blogspot.com/

See you there for the travelling toddler news.

vocabulary explosion

Zack is entering the field of speech with gusto. The vocabulary to date is :
Mikkis = christmas, man, morning, two = his favourite number, two dummies, gone (open hands), bikkit = biscuit, neigh = horse, moo = cow, baa = sheep, goggo, boat, mahkoo = monkey, milk, apple, 'na = banana, chicken = meat or fish, zack, yes, ta-too = thank you, please, go, jump, ladder, whee = slide in playground or any slope to run down, bird, duck, cat, duggy = digger, dogggie = dog, bag, open, close, ut = up, down, door, teeth, eyes, nose, mouth, ears, toes, knees, tongue, tars = stars, ball, truck, shoe-shoes, car, ow & sore, sock, wet, dirty, bee, glasses, belly-button, hullo, bye bye, mummy, daddy, no-daddy, amy, baby, bok' = brocolli, cheese, banket = blanket, potty, poo, wee-wee, bite, stop, choo-choo = train, taxi, row = as in row row row your boat, pull, push, book, cooking, by'ikle = bicycle, tower, tunnel, key, rain, puddle, mountain, beep beep - reversing or excuse me. He tends to lisp his "s's" which I'm sure will pass in time, so we're doing well.

sugarlump

my son is a genius - he can jump !!!
I'm not sure what this means, but I am well impressed that he can do the two-feet-off-the-ground thing. My book says that 25 - 30 months is the time for jumping, so.....
Zack is 4 months ahead on the jumping scale.

Hope all my competitive mum friends are reading this and feeling Whoah! intimidated.

You see I can say that because Zack walked at 16 months, has just started putting sentences together, etc. etc. I must celebrated the small victories - this is a competition don't you know ?!

Damn You Peppa Pig !

For my sins, I bought a copy of Peppa Pig's DVD. We now watch Peppa every other day. I get disappointed when I put on CBeebies and they're showing an episode we have on DVD, eg. Piggie in the Middle. Lord! You gotta know things are going spanner when you're lipsynching Peppa Pig while making breakfast.

So you're wondering why I'm cursing her name... well, L-A-U-N-D-R-Y is why! Zack is a mimic. Which means, that he also "loves" jumping in muddy puddles. So, Wednesday morning, we're on our way to the mum & tots group and there are puddles everywhere. EVERYwhere! Zack's little trousers are too long, so I roll them up. Which means that there are lovely (read v absorbent) cotton linings on the outside, sucking up every little splash and sploosh. All the puddles are mixed with petrol, car oil, grime, yuck, eek and blah ! How on earth am I going to get all that gunk out of his trousers when we get home ? Where do I put his little soggy legs when he's in the car ?

Damn you Peppa !

Blimey

The words are just tumbling out, but they're matched with the emerging will. Zack is stubborn and knows exactly what he wants - how he inherited those traits from us, I do not know? Latest "strop techniques" are slapping, pinching, and the newest of the new - hitting his head against whatever's nearby. It's fine when it's your chest, but not funny when it's your throat, neck or face. He has started biting his own hand again, when he can't get his way in public.
I am incredibly torn about the whole dummy issue at present. I take a firm line during the day, and don't let him have it unless he's sleeping. But the truth is that he sleeps at nursery without it, Mondays and Tuesdays. I do give in when he's going off the deep-end and we need to be somewhere (public) for an extended period of time - if I don't, any kind of social interaction becomes untenable, and I feel "ruled" by a beligerent 20 month old. The truth is that it REALLY calms him down, and will change the situation completely, if he has it. I can see that the Demise of the Dum must come. Perhaps sooner rather than later eh ?

Today we said "mango" for the first time, and we've been spending alot of time on "look" too. I have said "do this, NOW" alot this week, so that's been incorporated too. Altho' saying the word does not equate with obedience, or a sense of urgency.

I have bought a book on development so that I can keep pace with things for the next few years. It's entitled "Bright Start", and is broad in it's scope. After reading the first few chapters on Zack's age group, I was very encouraged by their stand on 'sticking to your guns' (ie. boundaries), being the best gift you can give your child. Zack doesn't like "No" one little bit. A friend of mine is currently working in a social services position where they remove children at risk, from their families, and she said that most of the teenagers she deals with who have huge problems have been allowed to rule their families from day 1 - no boundaries only leads to disaster.

Are you afraid to parent ?
It has occurred to me tho' that living here in the UK, creates its own kinds of phobias. You are always told by "authority figures" (sometimes an author, sometimes a govt child-care worker, sometimes a TV guru, sometimes by another mum, very often tho' it's source-less) that you aren't equipped for this job : You don't really know how to feed your child, discipline your child, raise your child, x your child, y your child. As a result, most parents, who are already feeling decidedly skittish sans-sleep, are driven to the mires of insecurity. "Yes, you're right," they cry, "I am rubbish at all this. Please won't you sell me the means to do it." [Ka-ching!]
Talking to a mate who has 2 kids and is raising them on the continent, it was mentioned that it is not out of the ordinary for a parent to leave their child sleeping at home in the evening, and quickly nip out for 20 minutes to the newsagent, or a pub. Yes, and that means exactly what you're all thinking : the child is at home ALONE. Now, in the UK, you would be imprisoned for that. Funny how social conventions change, and nowadays are underpinned by this culture of fear:

• There are paedophiles everywhere – I can't turn away from my child in a park
• Someone might break in and take him/ her – I can't leave my child asleep in the car, in my garage
  
• I can't nip down to the station and pick up my husband (because it's late and freezing) - there might be a fire at home, and there'd be no-one to rescue our child

Yes, these are all very plausible threats, but exactly HOW real are they ? What are the stats ? How many paedophiles live in my street ? How many kids get stolen out of locked cars, in closed garages, in middle-class neighbourhoods, every day ?

Keith: In each of these scenarios, the consequences for our lives (ie. the loss of a child) is SO great, that any discussion of the realistic probabilities is overshadowed by emotive debate. We regularly put our children into situations (eg. letting them play on a swing) where the probability of the loss of their life is far higher than the above scenarios, but because these are the ones that make news headlines, we react irrationally (with fear) to them.

Toilet Training begins:
We recently bought a toilet seat and step. Zack is like clockwork in the evenings, and will make a poo straight after dinner. We are yet to catch him in time to deposit it in the loo, but he is learning that it goes into the toilet and then flushes it away with a 'bye, bye' to boot! I am encouraged by his awareness. We may get him started in the next little while - won't that be wonderful ?

goggaland

Bugs are referred to as "gogga's" in South Africa, and Zack has taken to the word "goggo" with glee. In fact, so much so, that he calls everything that vaguely resembles a bug, a goggo. I think it's a zulu word. Anyway, it means that our world is teaming with the little critters. The funniest incident in recent weeks was Zack approaching me with something in his mouth. He was holding 'it' behind his bottom teeth, with his tongue. On closer investigation I realised it was the trilobite I'd seen crawling across the TV unit earlier on. EEK !


Zack was given this beautiful toy monkey yesterday by one of Keith's work colleagues - it looks like Curious George. Zack immediately became attached to his new friend, feeding it breakfast and allowing him to 'suck' his dummy. (- Not sure why I think it's a 'he')
Sometimes I feel that I'm lagging behind as a parent - that my child is ready for greater heights, greater challenges and I'm still catching up with an already-passed developmental stage. What to do ? I don't really have the time to be playing child-development-specialist on top of all my other duties. Perhaps a book would help me anticipate a bit more. Hmm...

Aside:
Zack persists in his biting. It is almost always in frustration now, and hardly ever in excitement. Keith and I are still being firm, but he can get so strung out sometimes that he starts thrashing out and trying to hit you if you won't let him sink his teeth in. I find the only way to deal with it, is to walk away. I won't tolerate biting. And I won't tolerate the hitting either. Zack has to find ways of dealing with his frustration. I find if I try and console him, by approaching him and saying, "X is really frustrating, isn't it ?", this only illicits physical assault. Not quite the outcome I'd hoped for.

Speech development is coming along but it's occurred to me that the dummy-sucking during the day is stunting his speaking. Keith and I agreed a while back that we should only have the dummy/pacifier at night, but when he was so sick last week, we were giving in as he needed to be comforted. Tough call.

My mate Yolande said she never wanted to be a No-Mommy, but I see Keith and I at this stage in Zack's life and we're constantly saying "No! Zack!". I guess it's the phase we're in - approaching the two's and all the willfulness that goes with it. You have to set boundaries all the time, but it can be relentless.

vocal explosion

Zack is just talking, talking, talking. It's as if he's suddenly getting his mouth around all the things that he's been listening to for months. We've been making notes of the news words for a while, but in the last few days it's just exploded. Isn't language an amazing thing ? I was watching my friend Elly's little boy a few months agao and was astonished at how he mimicked her every word, and now Zack is doing it. Of course there's heaps of babbling going on, but for the rest it's great fun.

Favourite word is still 'car'. But that's how it goes with boys !

The Aside:
Coming back to London was a shock to the system. We had a few rough nights and Zack is becoming more and more head-strong. He bit me hard on Wednesday morning at our mum's group, because I wouldn't let him have a 4th biscuit. Lots of screaming and stamping of feet, and then when I confronted him and said "no", he bit me. I smacked him in front of all the mummies. Yesterday we were in Hyde Park, in a playground, and 2 mums came to blows because one's child was being picked on by another (with absent mum). Heaven help you if you raise your voice, let alone your hand to some kid who is pounding yours. What a crazy world we live in! Jackie was saying how strange it is that we are so involved in our children's lives (stimulating them, educating them, entertaining them), compared to our mums who chased us outside to play, and our grandparents who were even less involved (by all accounts - see ITV's new parenting series, Bringing Up Baby). There has definitely been a trend in the last 100 years towards tighter bonds with one's children. The down-side is tho', that we don't trust anyone with or near our kids. There are paedo's everywhere, we're told. Stranger Danger! etc. etc. It puts so much more strain on mums who are already collapsing under the load of domestic duties, and dad's under the strain of providing, supporting. Yadda Yadda. And there isn't always someone to listen to your ranting and moaning. Parenting is not an easy road. It's bloody hard work.

what a crap day !

So Keith takes the day off work and we're planning to join our Aussie mates, Graham & Gayle, at Colchester Zoo. Everyone's raved about the place, and because I've driven up to Chelmsford before (and it was a crap journey), I know the train is the way-to-go. we check the times the night before and see that it'll be a mere 50 minutes from Stratford (our connection from the Jubilee line) to Colchester.
In summary it took us 3 and 3/4 hours to get there with the crap (read, 'staff attitude problems' and 'a lack of ticketing facilities') at Stratford station, too many changes to make, and eventually pulling into Colchester to discover that no-one there knew which bus to take to the Zoo. So we got a cab.
Things improved quite a lot from there: We spent a few hours with the mates (and their 3 children) and saw some great animals - tigers, lions, zebra, giraffes, rhino, crowned cranes, monkeys. Keith was delighted because we managed to stay until twilight and capture some lovely shots, including one of an aardvark.
We got a bus back into town, and then a connecting bus to the station where we'd (please God), get the train back to Stratford. Unfortunately the second bus was driven by minion of the dark lord, who felt that giving me lip while I was trying to pay for our tickets was the way forward. That's public service for you eh ?
What a bloody awful experience ! Why do we bother with public transport ? It cost us more than £40 for travel (PLUS entry to the zoo) and I feel like if we'd stayed at home, we'd have had a jolly nice time.
My advice : don't believe everything they promise you on websites. Most of the time it's just idle chatter. They've got nothing to lose telling you that the journey is easier than it turns out to be. Nothing.

do I sound angry ?

It can be done

I've just returned from 11 days in South Africa alone, where I was greeted with some scorn and quite a lot of incredulity. So many women asked, "How can you leave your baby in London, and with Keith?", and "How will he cope?". Blokes said to me, "I could never look after our little X. It would be impossible." Uh huh, raaaaiiiitttt.
All I can say is Keith did a great job despite his claims that he'd left a trail of destruction in his wake, and had lost things at every outing, and that the house was a tip. All the major appliances are still here and functioning. Zack is fit and well. I could see the floor in the lounge on my return. There don't appear to be any new stains on the carpet. The bottles, spoons and forks were washed up and there was even a bunch of pretty roses in a vase for the wife. It goes to show, don't it ?
I think it's evidence that I've moved on from the South African psyche: "you're the chick, it's your problem not mine (the kid that is)." And so has Keith. He is a completely able father, who has managed to feed, cloth, transport, love and discipline our son while I've been away. And has also had an immense amount of fun and frustration doing so. These are all good things.
Zack isn't a baby anymore, and is far from helpless. He understands instructions, he can tell when we're proud of him and when we want to play. He also know when he's being naughty and if he's going to get into trouble for what he's doing. I missed him terribly, but I needed to go and attend family celebrations. It all worked out very well.

Och Aye Wee Laddie

Brushing teeth with the first brush we could get our hands on.

Our home in the Highlands for a few days in September - Gairloch

Zack and I catching up on some sleep after lunch.

Wonderful time with Pia & Geoff

We've just spent ten wet days in the Scottish Highlands. Zack made friends with man and wee beasties alike, and seems to have mastered a few new words. To the current vocabularly we can add,'Juice, Duck, Ladder, Down, Pughhghgghghg (the sound of a car crashing), Car, Bus'. It's amazing actually, how much he understands these days. His favourite of all time tho' is 'Car' - said with such conviction that it's hard not to respond. Bless his little socks.
New frustration mechanism is biting his own hand - usually the right one. So he has lots of marks on the top of his hand. Oh dear me.

He has so enjoyed the time with my mum - I discovered them in bed this morning reading Richard Scarry classics, with loads of pointing and "Car" exclamations.

This evening, sadly, is 'farewell Nanna'. It's all gone by so quickly.


Zack tells us all about Scotland from his guidebook

dream

I don't set alot of store by what I dream at night, but last night I had an odd one: I was sitting on a very blue & green mohair type rug with a friend of mine from PE, Fiona. We were having a long chat about life and kids, and then I noticed that someone had spilled, what looked like Calpol, on the rug. I rushed off and fetched a sponge and some soap and tried to get it out. It was really difficult (Mohair is so fibrous), and by the end of the dream I remember not being completely satisfied with the results.

meaning ?

Time, it's slipping, slipping

It's Monday night of the August Bank Holiday, which means that we don't have another break until Christmas. It usually feels like it's all downhill from here - rushing into autumn, then Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Whoosh! We've been blessed with some pretty impressive weather this weekend, after a week that amounted to nothing more than soggy drizzle and cold air. Yuck. So much for August being our month of summer redemption. It didn't happen, but perhaps this is a late fizz. I'm not complaining.

Keith's been away for 3 weeks out of the last 4 and it's been incredibly hard. I think that so often people pretend that they're coping so well with being a mum, and that their little darling is no effort at all. What a lie! On Thursday morning, I got up, changed Zack's nappy and then sobbed my heart out because it was so hard doing it alone. How do single mums cope?

We took him for his 2nd haircut on Saturday and I was sad to see him come home - my little toddler had gone, and come back a boy. I can now see how his head is growing and changing. I miss the lovely locks so won't be cutting it this short in a hurry.


He's demonstrating the early stages of an imagination which is charming... he walks his duck along the edge of the bath while having a long conversation with it, and we had to wrap the toy lamb up in a blanket on Wednesday. He understands so much of what we say and will now take instructions, eg. 'fetch x', 'put y', etc. But of course cannot understand when I say 'no touching' or 'leave y alone'. Heh heh, cute and smart to boot.

He is ever the talkative tot, and seems to enunciate his "bye bye"s more clearly each day. Bye-bye is being used on everyone and in every situation at the moment. Thankfully people are pretty accommodating and reciprocate with a wave and a 'bye bye' in return. We met up with Anokye and Ellie on Friday, and Anokye is moving ahead in leaps and bounds - he mimics everything Ellie says - which I think is amazing for a 16 and a half month old.


We went to Hyde Park to enjoy the sunshine and Zack loved all the people and the Diana Memorial fountain. It's a great spot with lots of fenced in space, the only negative is the stupid security guards walking around telling people not to stand on the fountain (which you have to do, so that you can put your feet in it - that's legal. Doh!), and not to walk in the water. Aargh! Only in England ! But, there's nothing like running water to entertain little people, so I'm sure we'll go again.

Zack is teething again, so it's back to nasty nappies, sore ears, Calpol and a temperature. I hope this tooth cuts quickly.
My mum arrives in a week's time, and I'm so chuffed that Zack is at a delightful stage in anticipation of her arrival. May it all go smoothly.

p.s. No news on the TV repair. I'll have to call again tomorrow.

Pee + electronics = the end

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Zack was running around the lounge without a nappy on before dinner because he has nasty nappy rash, and while I was in the bathroom sorting out laundry, our little fireman decided that he would take a leak on the hi-fi equipment. Usually if he takes a leak on the floor, there's the tell-tale puddle, but when I came into the lounge all I could smell was burning plastic. Sadly, the box with the most holes got it - the TV receiver. I unplugged all three boxes (TV, satellite and DVD player) and aired them, even turned the TV box upside down and left it for hours then used the hairdryer. But no luck - it is dead. So no TV for me this week while Keith's away. I'm going to be a real internet junkie & book reader.

And for your viewing pleasure... Zack and his new xylophone

the uncle is in the building

We picked Andy up from the airport this morning just after 8am, and then drove through to Esher to a wonderful spot for PYO - it's called Garson's Farm and they have acres of fresh fruit, veg and flowers to pick. All you have to do is turn up - the containers are provided. We picked a punnet full of raspberries and Zack must've eaten a heap more, indiscriminately. Sadly the blackberries were all ruined on the vine (not sure what got them), so we left with only broad beans and the raspberries.



Zack has taken to Andy with gusto - there are squeals of laughter and lots of hugs and attention. I was asked at bath-time : "What is too much splashing?". Which, I think, says it all.
Only downside at the moment is all the blowing of raspberries - very slobbery and the spit flies everywhere. Again - a thousand repetitions of 'no spitting'. Ho hum.
This afternoon we loaded Zack onto my bike, into his seat with helmet tightly fastened. I cycled while Andy ran, and Zack managed to stay awake for about 55% of the event. On the way home his head was lolling and he'd collapsed so much that his little helmet was rubbing on my seat as I peddled. It drew "ah bless" responses from watching motorists.

Ah Bless !

ps. Keith has bought more of the same shoes in NYC - in a bigger size. Next task is to get the young man a haircut. He is sorely in need of one.

Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud

We took ourselves off to Womad for the weekend. Yes, it had been raining, and yes it was very muddy. We slept in muddy clothes as there were very limited showering facilities. It's our first camping trip with young Zack and he seemed to cope quite well - it helped that there were lots of children to play with. We joined Dean & Emma Willars and their two girls, and friends of theirs James & Louisa with their 3, Frederick, Ozzy and Harriet. The only challenge was keeping Zack out of the food supplies. He thinks his appetite for fruit is insatiable, but I don't want to push it.

Big smiles as we're off daddy's shoulders. It's such fun running around in the dry mud and eating it!

"OK. So we've eaten our vegetarian lunch, and now I'm tired. I think I'll just nap right here".

Otherwise he is growing every day. He still has a hearty appetite (I think I've already mentioned that), is walking more confidently, expanding his vocabulary, and still biting and pinching out of frustration. He is FINALLY getting over his awful nappy rash. He loves books and The Gruffalo in particular.

Andrew & Geraldine have been visiting us from Sydney, with their two children, so Zack has had mates to play with every day for almost 3 weeks. A challenge for the parents who have to be referees most of the time.

I think it's time to go looking for new shoes. Dem feet, dey grow too quick!

here we go again !

Poor Zack. Now we're teething again and he's been a miserable little blighter. Mostly he's happy, adventurous and delightful, but with these teeth coming through he's suffering with all the side-effects. He has the worst nappy rash I've ever seen on him - welts on his bum - it's just horrid. I'm trying to use the 'fresh air' option as much as possible. But (and it's a big but) it's all about timing. I have to wait until he's poo'd, so that I don't have to clean that up, then it's off with the nappy and running around like a mad thing. Inevitably it ends in him pee'ing on something (the carpet, his toys, the floor), which ends the 'air time' and we're back in our nappy with the welts chaffing.
I thought things were improving yesterday, and then this morning I wanted to weep... they looked just hideously sore. He had more than an hour of fresh air while we picnicked in Greenwich Park this afternoon. That seems to have helped a bit. But he's got slightly upset, acidic poos which are not helping at all. Man Oh Man, what can a mum do ? I'm using barrier-cream at every nappy change, Bepanthen at the moment, as it's a new tube so very viscous. But it doesn't really assist with healing.

Poor little chap. I hope that this'll clear in the next 24 hours.

teething and more WARS

On Saturday we took Zack with us to the Star Wars Celebration Europe (read 'Star Wars convention'). It was such fun. Lots of people in full costume, including this chap who was a member of a polish storm trooper battalion, who we joined on the train. Pretty incredible stuff.

Zack is getting a new tooth. It's all by itself (no friends on either side) so I'm not sure what it is, but it's been sore and he's had a temperature on and off over the weekend. Poor little chap.

Other than that he is continuing to enjoy the freedom of walking by himself - we took him to the farm yesterday, and he just loved being able to go up to the fences and point at the animals. There was a narrow call with a chicken, but we escaped unscathed.

In the wars

** the website will be updated tonight.

Uh Oh...
the doctor wasn't wrong when he said that walking = head injuries. On friday Zack stumbled while pushing his way between two sofas. Whacked his head on a table corner - blood nose, nasty bruising, and a very unhappy boy. He'd scraped his knee on the asphalt on Thursday morning, which means that every time he falls over now (every minute or so), he's miserable because it hurts. AND he's teething again.

Yeeouch. It never stops, does it ?

summer holidays

We've had a glorious two weeks of sunshine in Croatia - 30˚C every day, with clear skies and a light breeze. One or two days of a cloud which is always welcome. Zack travelled well, and was kind to Keith and I yesterday in that he slept all the way home on the airplane, despite having woken at 5am. Blessed respite!

On the holiday we discovered how much we love balls, that ants are always in a hurry and we can squash them with our finger altho' this isn't intentional. Anything we find is good for eating (eeuuuwwww!), but best of all we like ice-cream when it's hot, and preferably all to ourselves. The world is still my best friend. I can now wave at everyone, and say 'bye bye' if I feel like it. I am not walking by myself, this is too much for me, I am only prepared to walk when attached to either mum or dad's finger. I am still biting out of frustration, and wailing when I get told off, or smacked for indulging my frustration by repeating the action. I love my Gruffalo book, and especially the frogs, the butterfly, the wood-pecker and the squirrels.

I am delighted to be home where I can climb all the stairs again, and play with my toys. My teeth have decided that this is the perfect moment to begin erupting, so I'm not sleeping too well at night. Poor mum & dad, they look shattered today !