Disappointment

Christmas is not the easiest time for any family. My Nana passed away on Christmas Day in 1999, which cuts really deeply for me. Christmas morning is done in a certain way in the Garratt family, and in a different way in the Guthrie family. Keith and I are still finding our groove about how the presents are given and opened on Christmas morning. This morning was just awful : we woke up at 8:05am after going to bed after 1am. We could hear little people downstairs, but nothing prepared me for the carnage in the lounge. Every gift that I had spent hours wrapping and labelling. Every present that had been carefully chosen for Zack and for Calvin, had been ripped open and discarded. There were gifts and paper lying everywhere - the carpet was hidden under the mess. Gifts for friends and family had been ripped open in the mania.
And to top it all off, Zack was the MOST ungrateful little sod in the entire world. Last night I'd said to Keith that I was concerned as he seemed to have the bulk of the gifts - significantly less than Calvin. This morning you'd never know it. He sulked and pouted and said how unfair it all was. He said, "I hate this family". And he's only six. F**king hell! I was so upset about it. I cried and cried upstairs, and then came down and made them listen to why we give gifts, that each one is chosen and wrapped with care. That we need to think about what people have given us. I don't know if it's turned around, but I certainly feel like I just want to get on my bike and go away.
My aunt called to wish us a Merry Christmas, and every fibre of my being wanted to go to the airport and pay a four-figure sum for a flight to South Africa.