At this point you despair as a mother.
But Zack says it wasn't deliberate - it seems they were being silly boys, and Eden was still in front of him in the queue when he swung his arms out the second time.
And then on Thursday afternoon we were robbed - burgled in the middle of the day between 12:30 and 14:30. they took laptops, iPad, other bits and pieces but the big loss is the jewellery. I'm an idiot for keeping it all together so neatly. What an easy haul! It's been traumatic.
Zack wet his bed on Sunday night. Calvin has been having nightmares. Keith and I have been rowing.
On Monday Zack didn't want to participate in chess - he wanted to just watch and not take part. His coach was quite relaxed about it when he told me, and was sympathetic when I explained that we'd had a burglary and that it had affected Zack.
Last Friday, I'd taken Zack to the doctor to have a discussion about his hayfever which is awful at the moment. He can't breath in the mornings and evenings so we are now on a syrup, ventilator, eye drops and a nasal spray - the WHOLE caboodle. It seems to have had an impact ! Thank God for one sympathetic doctor.
However, when he took the medication into school on Monday, there was a unnecessary, very negative reaction from the school: I popped in to speak to each class teacher, to explain about the children being unsettled from the burglary. Ho hum - Zack's class teacher is OFF for two days AGAIN, so I couldn't talk to her. I then popped into the office to ask the secretary about their email, as I've been trying to arrange a meeting with the head, Zack's class teacher, the Senco, Zack's therapist, our therapist and ourselves. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. They don't seem to feel there's any hurry. It's infuriating. Apparently their email had been down for days, so I said I'd print out my email and bring it in. With all the emotion and questions about the burglary from teachers and other parents, it completely slipped my mind to sign Zack's medication form.
The school secretary rang me up and blasted me for not filling in a form for Zack's medication. It had slipped my mind what with trying to discuss the email and see BOTH class teachers before school started. She said the medication was going to poison children in the school, that it was strictly forbidden, and.. and.. and.. Like I'd deliberately sent the medication in to harm other children in the class, instead of helping my own. I was so shocked by her call and the antagonism in her voice that I had to ring her back and explain about the burglary and plead with her for some sympathy, while saying I would come into the office promptly and sign the forms.
On Tuesday after football Zack was in a particularly morose mood - again, because a child had been sticking it to him about his size. I want to lose the fucking plot sometimes when I hear this. I see the damage children's words have done to my son, and I feel helpless in so many ways. I can't control Zack's behaviour - the silly incident earlier last week when he hurt Eden is just an example. But there seems to be a vast ocean of shit that gets dumped on him every week, which he just has to suck up. And he's ONLY 8 !! For pity's sake.
You get to a tipping point. I'm tired of playing stupid games with the school where they let me know, either by email or letter about "incidents" involving Zack. I am now going into print every time Zack experiences something negative. No more mommy with a generous spirit = always patient, always kind, always polite, always giving "them" the benefit of the doubt.
If the head teacher believes that she can build up some sort of evidence bundle of why Zack is being stuck in the Senco's special group, then I am going to provide her with the counter-statements that show that he is being driven to this place DAILY by other children in her school, by a class teacher who does not let up on having a go at him, and general passivity on the part of authority figures who have failed him again, and again, and again. He is surrounded by unfair treatment and adults who seem to always be telling him what to do and shouting at him. It's all he hears, day in and day out.
Wednesday 18
June 2014
XXX
Headteacher
XXX
XXX
Dear XXX
Re
: name calling incident at football yesterday afternoon
We
are deeply concerned about something that happened yesterday – one
of several similar incidents for Zack. On the way home from football
Zack was tired and grumpy, and then became very self-critical,
saying, “Why don't you just hit me on the head because I'm a
chubby, fat loser”. Ruth was shocked and, as you can imagine, very
saddened for him. He often feels down about himself, but hasn't said
these words before.
She
pressed him about where he'd heard that. After a while, he said that
Jack, in year 4, had told him he is a “chubby, fat loser”.
Please
will you have a word with this boy Jack?
Unfortunately
there have been quite a few incidents where Zack has been teased
about his weight and size (he is a head taller than most boys in his
class). He is very sensitive about this and as you know his reaction
in these situations can be physical, wanting to push children away.
What really worries us is that this is becoming a repeated pattern of
behaviour, where different children tease him in a similar manner,
taunting him until he reacts physically. Zack is then punished for
reacting to their unkindness.
We
have always encouraged him to take this sort of thing to an adult,
but we think he is struggling to see evidence that adults will really
defend him or address the issue meaningfully. This is not acceptable
banter and we think something needs to be raised more broadly at the
school to address this directly.
We
will make a point of raising the issue again if there are further
incidents.
Yours
faithfully,
