what a cutie pie !

Zack has discovered hours of pleasure are to be had examining oneself in the mirror. Awesome !

just cooling off

So far, we're still adjusting to being here in South Africa. Zack is sleeping in the oddest patterns and just will not go down, even when he's desperately tired. Today, for example, he grizzled and grizzled in his cot for about 30 minutes without going to sleep, so I took him out and we went outside and sat in a tub in the garden. It's really very hot at the moment, so it was quite soothing. The upshot of it all was that he dropped off immediately after we'd re-dressed him. The only problem is that I can't do that at 2, or 3 or 4am. We just have to feed him, or console him, to try and get him back to sleep. Travelling really does throw their little cycles.

Today was my brother's birthday, which was a treat. I am seldom in town for it, so we got together for a BBQ and he and his girlfriend, Kelly, stayed on until the late evening. It is good to see him, and Zack loves interacting with boys.

safely in S. A.

Huge thanks go to Trish for giving me the number of a taxi co that would take us to the airport with a baby seat. We arrived at around 5:30pm for a flight at 9pm so there was oodles of time and I felt very relaxed and able to cope. Our flight was fine - you can't expect miracles - Zack slept for about 3 hours between 1am and 4am, and I got to watch "The Devil Wears Prada", which I'd hoped to see. I even caught the tail end of "Cars" (Pixar).

We are now ensconsed in my mum's new pad in Fairland, and it is lovely and roomy. We hit the shops yesterday afternoon and got the necessary items for the young 'un, and he now has a high-chair at his Nana's - all our needs are met.

People at the airport and at the supermarket yesterday were eager to tell me that Zack is very FAT. Ah-huh. Whatever !


Zack takes a bath in the sink last night - it's just the right size.

He's still adjusting to the time zone I think as the sleep patterns are haywire, but we'll give it a few days before getting anxious.

Johannesburg is a sight : beautiful Jacaranda trees in full bloom are everywhere, and it's very hot and dry.

We miss Keith tho'

take it off !

Zack's cast came off on Thursday morning to a huge sigh of relief from mum, and general pleasure from hospital staff. We have a check up in 3 months time - no physio necessary either.

We are packing to go to South Africa tomorrow night.

What the week has held

As I mentioned in the 'kaput' entry, I haven't been coping very well, at all, of late. I'm finding the full-time mummy thing a real challenge, one which gets ontop of me a little too regularly for my liking. Keith has been a honey and worked from home a few hours this week, while I've had some time to sleep. I got an extra 4 hours yesterday which felt great.

What's made me realise how rotten things are is my coping skills. Usually I get annoyed at the stupidity that i have to live with, for example... "where have I put the house keys, again?". I get really angry with myself and incredibly frustrated at the ridiculous things that I do - things that I've never done in my life. Last week, I left my keys in the car one evening, and the next morning, Keith took the only OTHER set of keys we have to work with him (well, they're on his key-ring so it's unavoidable). It would, necessarily be on the day when I CANNOT live without the car - I was leading bible study in Limehouse and looking after Caitlin. Trish was a honey and stepped up to the plate by bringing Caitlin over here, but I had to cancel on the biblestudy girls. It was just too much. Yes, friends keep saying to me, "Ruth, don't do so much. Do less!" yeah, yeah. I know I should, I just want to be me. Me would easily have coped with those two things. What's the problem ??

I can't put it down to much more than lack of sleep. My nutrition is A++ (hell, I'm eating enough fruit, veg, meat, carbs, cake, chocolate and drinking plenty of water and a cup of coffee each day). My health hasn't been good though - I've had this lingering chest and sinus infection for weeks now. Last Friday I went to the doctor for even more anti-biotics, so it looks like I may yet kick this. I've been inhaling lots of steam at night too, which aught to do the trick. I get quite depressed thinking about it all.

What makes me feel really cheerful though is Zack's little smile...


... and hugs and kisses from Keith...

... and the thought that on Wednesday morning next week I will be in Johannesburg with my mum, Andy, Kelly, mum-in-law, Sal, friends, aunts and cousins. Bring it on !!! Basically it all adds up to a bit more help.

Keith and I have chosen to live in the UK, and to drink the cup that is life here. That does mean that we have to swim solo as a little family, but there's no law against stopping at the fuel depot every now and then.

Tomorrow is Zack's big "take it off ! take it off!" day. We are having the cast off at 9:50am and then x-rays to be sure all is well. We'd appreciate your prayers and good wishes.

together time

Trish and I are sharing child-care. She looked after Zack on Tuesday while Shirley (my aunt, visiting from Johannesburg) and I went up to Stoke Newington and Islington. I looked after Caitlin on Thursday when Trish had a meeting with the gallery owner she's showing with next year. I took some cute pics of the kids together.

kaput

Zack (plaster not in view) and his dad

I'm not doing well at all. It's been so great having my aunt staying with us, but other than that I am not coping. I'm now onto a 5-day course of Amoxicillin to try and clear this infection, Zack is still not sleeping through despite our best efforts - big meals, paracetamol, etc - and I think he's suffering from awful constipation too. Besides the teething that is. Keith's tooth crumbled last night before supper, so he's off for some emergency dental work in the middle of next week (yes, first free moment). My post-wisdom hole is healing well (at least that's one thing).

I guess life just gets too much sometimes. I had a good week about 2 or 3 weeks ago and I felt like I was getting on top of things. I was efficient and managed to line up some quotes for the house's 'to do' list. It just goes in fits and starts. You don't just suddenly get your groove back... it takes time.

I've decided not to beat myself up about not getting to gym. It's just not possible - there isn't always time and I don't have someone to look after Zee - and ontop of it all, I'm sick, so I shouldn't be working out. You still beat yourself up about the money though, don't you ?


Zack with Cameron and Cathy (family visiting from Cape Town)


Zack taking a nap on his great Aunt's lap. It's Oh So Comfy !!


Zack sleeps while mum and Aunty Shirl go for a walk next to the Thames

I'm hoping that more sleep and a more sedate pace of life, will help me get back up and running soon.