Thursday, April 18, 2013

money matters

I have opened bank accounts for both children now. I decided to go to Santander as they're local and we have our mortgage with them. I seldom use a high street bank, but convenience is important and you have to start somewhere. Zack has seized the idea with both hands - already deposited £15.50 into his account (from pocket money and tooth fairy savings), and has acquired a further £10 + while we were on holiday which he's ready to deposit. He has such a generous spirit : yesterday we went to the bank at 5:20pm to discover it closes at 5pm, so we crossed the road and went for a Starbucks. I'd paid for drinks and a nibble each, but then he insisted on buying Calvin a further lollypop and himself a biscuit - with the money he had in his purse (which was en-route to the now, closed bank). And then insisted on buying a bag of crisps for me. Bless him, he has a very giving nature.

at Huntsville Alabama, the national Space & Rocket Centre

My attitude | Their attitude
While in the USA on holiday (Spring Break / Easter hols), I genuinely struggled with their ingratitude. It's so difficult when you're away from home, living in different accommodation every night, eating out or having take-aways for at least 2 meals a day. On the one hand I'm delighted that they're confident and and can ask anyone for help or assistance; on the other hand, their attitude of 'this is what I want, and I want it now' really erked me. The transition from lower middle class in my childhood, to the affluent upbringing that our children are having is a difficult one to navigate. You want your children to realise the value of things : not just money, but what goes into a holiday, the value of labour, the value of these unique experiences. We will be in South Africa for all of August and I'm thinking very seriously of spending a few days at an orphanage in Soweto with a friend of mine so that they can see first-hand what it is to have no parents, no toys, in need.
Zack has been studying "Fairtrade" at school, and seems to have an understanding of poverty. It chimes with his generosity, it's true. I'd like to flesh that out a bit though.

Calvin is still a very self-contained little boy. I did however have an insight into his personality while we were away, thanks to Greg's comments. Calvin really looks up to Zack - hero worship - and feels very protective of him. So when Zack has a tantrum, it's Calvin who 'feels' the agony/frustration. There is a symbiosis there which we, as parents, are not plugged into. I hadn't recognised it until we were out of our normal environment, and I think I don't see it at home because Calvin is so quiet in himself. My eyes have been opened, and I will now be looking to him as a barometer of Zack's emotional well-being.