Or should I say "buona fortuna" and "buona vacanza" because we spent our holiday in Italy - 2 weeks of sunshine. And the final week of the school hols back home in London. The last 10 days were really very smooth and peaceful, all things considered. With no therapy to go to, and no school pressures, it does beg the question, "are we where we are because of the pressures of modern life?". The problem is, this life is not avoidable. Our livelihoods are tied up in the Big Smoke. We are neither farmers nor arborists. I have no desire to go and live in a small village where everyone knows your business. There is more than enough pressure on Zack right now, from his school mates, his peers, people in the wider social circle and our neighbours, to uproot us all and "opt out" of an urban existence. That would be traumatic for me, Keith and both children. We're staying in the city.
I spent a most worthwhile evening on the horn to a friend who's son has also struggled alot, around this age (8yrs+). It's so hard to know what to do, what to think, where to go from here. My friend has said not to dither, not to hesitate, but to act. I feel like I'm being too passive, sitting still. But at the same time, I see the value of just sitting with a problem and looking at it from different angles. An impulsive action is often driven by emotional overload, and the desire to survive overrules common-sense. I've submitted an application to a private school in Hampstead, in the hope that they'll grant us an interview if there's a place in the new year.
I've started making enquiries into a full-time nanny. The cost is crippling. I'm re-thinking it each week.
Zack is still going to therapy. We are still seeing a therapist too. There are times when I want to chuck in the towel, when it all seems pointless. But then we have a week where I see real value in Zack's therapy - when I can draw a straight line between his coping and incidents that have occurred. That's when it's also hard, because we've toyed with the idea of his going more frequently, but I don't think that he'd agree.
On a more positive note, he has had enormous success with rugby this term. We've had a few training sessions which have gone well - including incidents when he was high-tackled, kids jumped on his head when he was on the ground, getting kicked in the back and sworn at. All of which he's dealt with very well. He is much more resilient, much more.
Showing posts with label coping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coping. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 01, 2014
Friday, February 06, 2009
how bad can it be ?
Pretty bloody awful to be fair. We moved in last week Friday - so it's been a week now - and I don't think I've felt quite this low in a long time. There have been a few big issues with the house. When we moved in we were aware that we'd need to do a few bits and bobs to make it more liveable.
As it turned out none of the showers worked properly : the first one's shower head just poured water out the top of it - useless! That bathroom has no door, and nor does the actual shower, so the water splashes everywhere including the bedroom carpet. The next shower, although convenient (it's an en suite) didn't have a mixer that worked. That meant you could only get scalding hot water. The hand shower isn't wall mounted, so you have to pick all the bits off the floor if you want to use them.
The last shower was leaking like a sieve... straight into the utility room downstairs. Turned out the shower tray hasn't been properly attached to the wall, or sealed. On top of that we've had taps that leak, and handles that fall off.
What really pushed me right over the edge yesterday tho' was the washing machine. I'd carefully timed the booking of the plumber (who has repaired most of what I've listed above), to follow the delivery of the new machine. But Keith decided that he could plumb it in and it would be fine. He couldn't have been more wrong. Yesterday was extremely stressful with so much to do between the plumber leaving, and then me driving down to the Docklands to leave Zack & Calvin with friends, so that I could attend Keith's Xmas Party. Add to this a husband who remembers at the last minute that it's black tie, and now I need to find a tux, a dress shirt and a waistcoat somewhere, in some cupboard or box, in one room or another, in a very messy house that is full of boxes. We went without a bowtie in the end!
Anyway... I set the machine to wash and before I left home I heard it spinning and it was the most awful noise. I went downstairs, to see that it was bouncing around all over the place and it's too heavy for me to move, so I just took everything off the top of it and put it on the floor. I rang Keith to say so, and he said, "Just put a towel at the door of the room so that if it floods, the water won't run onto the hardwood flooring." Guess what !? We went out to this party in central London, it finished after 12:30. We left the Docklands after 1:30am, so we only got home around 2:30am and my beautiful new washing machine had been banged against the wall and radiator. It had ripped itself out of the waste pipe, so all the waste water had filled the utility room and guest loo. Everything that I'd moved on the floor was sodden - 2 boxes of washing powder, a large bag of dirty clothes, all the instruction manuals and warranties, the neat pile of building rubble from the plumber, who'd had to cut a hole in the ceiling to find the leak from the shower, etc etc etc. I just wanted to weep. You don't feel very strong at 3am, especially after all the stuff that's needed fixing already.
There is so much washing to be done and now I don't have a machine that works - because it's not level, AND I cannot make it level. I can't go to the laundromat because I can't control 2 small children for 2 or 3 hours in a confined space with nothing to do. Besides, it's raining and snowing so we can't exactly play outside can we?
Keith blames it entirely on the fact that John Lewis took away the one piece of equipment that he needed to level the machine - a special LG spanner. It's unusually large so nothing we have fits it. Brilliant!
After all that, lying in bed at 4am, I hear a drip-drip-drip, and it's the basin in our en-suite. It's started leaking too (apparently because Keith bumped it). Honestly, you start thinking "what next?".
Calvin carries on regardless. He is incredibly placid and easy-going. The only time he really gets upset is when he's hungry and is being ignored. Unfortunately he's now got conjunctivitis in his right eye. Poor little blighter.
I am not coping at all well with Zack's behaviour at the moment. He is being deliberately VERY naughty, throwing things down the stairs and acting up. It's a very very hard time indeed. I have not had to scream at him so much in a very long time. I feel quite hoarse from all the shouting I've had to do this morning. He is incredibly defiant and stubborn. Everything is "No Mommy", or "I'll tell my Daddy" (obviously a classic that he's picked up at nursery), and the last resort, "You not my friend Mommy!" Please tell me this isn't going to last ? I just hate every minute of it.
You're probably wondering how we're all doing in the snow and sleet ? I think I have more than enough on my plate right now... but I did manage to take Zack out to play in it. He didn't like that it was so cold. I will upload some photos soon.
On top of everything Zack and I baked some snickerdoodles yesterday (type of biscuit) which turned out really well. He took 18 of them to Greg & Charlie as a treat.
As it turned out none of the showers worked properly : the first one's shower head just poured water out the top of it - useless! That bathroom has no door, and nor does the actual shower, so the water splashes everywhere including the bedroom carpet. The next shower, although convenient (it's an en suite) didn't have a mixer that worked. That meant you could only get scalding hot water. The hand shower isn't wall mounted, so you have to pick all the bits off the floor if you want to use them.
The last shower was leaking like a sieve... straight into the utility room downstairs. Turned out the shower tray hasn't been properly attached to the wall, or sealed. On top of that we've had taps that leak, and handles that fall off.
What really pushed me right over the edge yesterday tho' was the washing machine. I'd carefully timed the booking of the plumber (who has repaired most of what I've listed above), to follow the delivery of the new machine. But Keith decided that he could plumb it in and it would be fine. He couldn't have been more wrong. Yesterday was extremely stressful with so much to do between the plumber leaving, and then me driving down to the Docklands to leave Zack & Calvin with friends, so that I could attend Keith's Xmas Party. Add to this a husband who remembers at the last minute that it's black tie, and now I need to find a tux, a dress shirt and a waistcoat somewhere, in some cupboard or box, in one room or another, in a very messy house that is full of boxes. We went without a bowtie in the end!
Anyway... I set the machine to wash and before I left home I heard it spinning and it was the most awful noise. I went downstairs, to see that it was bouncing around all over the place and it's too heavy for me to move, so I just took everything off the top of it and put it on the floor. I rang Keith to say so, and he said, "Just put a towel at the door of the room so that if it floods, the water won't run onto the hardwood flooring." Guess what !? We went out to this party in central London, it finished after 12:30. We left the Docklands after 1:30am, so we only got home around 2:30am and my beautiful new washing machine had been banged against the wall and radiator. It had ripped itself out of the waste pipe, so all the waste water had filled the utility room and guest loo. Everything that I'd moved on the floor was sodden - 2 boxes of washing powder, a large bag of dirty clothes, all the instruction manuals and warranties, the neat pile of building rubble from the plumber, who'd had to cut a hole in the ceiling to find the leak from the shower, etc etc etc. I just wanted to weep. You don't feel very strong at 3am, especially after all the stuff that's needed fixing already.
There is so much washing to be done and now I don't have a machine that works - because it's not level, AND I cannot make it level. I can't go to the laundromat because I can't control 2 small children for 2 or 3 hours in a confined space with nothing to do. Besides, it's raining and snowing so we can't exactly play outside can we?
Keith blames it entirely on the fact that John Lewis took away the one piece of equipment that he needed to level the machine - a special LG spanner. It's unusually large so nothing we have fits it. Brilliant!
After all that, lying in bed at 4am, I hear a drip-drip-drip, and it's the basin in our en-suite. It's started leaking too (apparently because Keith bumped it). Honestly, you start thinking "what next?".
Calvin carries on regardless. He is incredibly placid and easy-going. The only time he really gets upset is when he's hungry and is being ignored. Unfortunately he's now got conjunctivitis in his right eye. Poor little blighter.
I am not coping at all well with Zack's behaviour at the moment. He is being deliberately VERY naughty, throwing things down the stairs and acting up. It's a very very hard time indeed. I have not had to scream at him so much in a very long time. I feel quite hoarse from all the shouting I've had to do this morning. He is incredibly defiant and stubborn. Everything is "No Mommy", or "I'll tell my Daddy" (obviously a classic that he's picked up at nursery), and the last resort, "You not my friend Mommy!" Please tell me this isn't going to last ? I just hate every minute of it.
You're probably wondering how we're all doing in the snow and sleet ? I think I have more than enough on my plate right now... but I did manage to take Zack out to play in it. He didn't like that it was so cold. I will upload some photos soon.
On top of everything Zack and I baked some snickerdoodles yesterday (type of biscuit) which turned out really well. He took 18 of them to Greg & Charlie as a treat.
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