Regression Session

Sigh. Calvin is driving us up the wall - new trick is to wee and poo in his trousers. Not sure what's up. He will literally make a wee in the potty and ten minutes later produce an enormous wet pair of trousers (preferably once we've left home). I know it's to be expected but it's exasperating.
That being said, he really is good when he's on the potty / toilet to make use of the opportunity. And he's fastidious about washing his hands - praise the Lord. I have done one thing right :)
We've had family here for the past 2 1/2 weeks which was just blissful as Calvin now wakes up anywhere between 5:30am and 6:45am. We actually got some rest in the mornings which was much needed.
Spent some fun time with Shirley, Maggie, Claire & Caryl as well as Erin & Mario.

Kew Gardens, green house

One man and his dog....

Last Saturday we took ourselves off up north to Bromsgrove (just south of Birmingham) to visit Frankie & Agnieszka and their new addition to the family - Jethro - a golden retriever. He is now 5 months old and full of bounce and lick.
The weather was glorious and the local playground was well frequented during Jethro's walks. We also popped into the café for ice cream. It was such a good break - far away from all the responsibilities and to-do lists. The only challenge was getting up at 6:40am most days with Calvin, sigh. But beyond that it was a special time with family.

we went to Cadbury's World on Monday. Sadly Keith missed it as he was back at work

Zack and Aga take on one another on the iPad

Calvin's potty-training continues unabated. He is doing mightily well and altho we have accidents here and there, he is in underpants all day, every day. Praise has worked really well with this little chap, and I regularly catch him saying, "I so clever", to himself. Delightful.
His vocabulary is excellent and he is making himself well understood. He is most definitely a two-year-old with lots of "no's". Strangely we are still getting to know him, as Zack is such a big personality and tends to take over. Having Tina (our housekeeper) away for a month was really a special time of one-to-one with Calvin and I think we both feel that we understand and know him better.
Hammy, the hamster, is still healthy and busy (at night). He has been 'downsized' from Chairman Mao's palace as he managed to chew a hole in the bottom of one of the panels. he is now in a smaller box with a wheel attached and he seems more settled and less intent on escape.

and we're IN

Calvin has been accepted to attend St James' nursery. That means as of September, Calvin will be going to school with Zack in the mornings. I can collect him each day at noon. Again, I feel like God was in control through all the insanity that was his time in-utero and delivery. He was supposed to be a September baby (end of September), which would have made him the oldest in his year. But God had other plans : he is now going to be the YOUNGEST in his year. The only person younger will be he/she who is born on the 31st of August!
Calvin's language skills are coming along in leaps and bounds - he is sooo good at it now. We spent all of today together and he had so much to say and talk about. It was a real blessing.

at Kenwood House, climbing "by 'self"

He is potty training too - we started last Thursday (which makes him 2 years and 7 months). He is doing brilliantly. We've only had a few hiccups - mostly when we've been out and about and far away from "facilities". Today, we spent more than 5 hours in the car and he did very well both on arrival and departure. Bless him.
He and Zack are still sharing a bedroom. I'm not sure how long it will last as it's really trying our patience at bedtime each night. We may move them back into separate rooms to remedy it.

trivia ? for some

Zack is coming on in leaps and bounds with his reading. His teacher is delighted and I think he's feeling really empowered by the whole exercise. It is a wonderful thing to observe.
He struggles with "d" and "b" - transposing them - but I'm sure it'll come with time. The Ruth Miskin literacy programme is working wonders with him, so 'Hurrah for St James!' in promoting it.
Mrs. Piesold, Zack's class teacher, is an incredibly positive and energetic person. She has decided that daily rewards of one star, are not cutting it. She has up'ped it to a maximum of 5 stars a day for good behaviour. Zack is coming home with 4 stars as a rule, which is excellent. Last week we had a friend over to play - Danny. These two don't get on at school, and Zack's first comment when I collect him is often, "Danny only got 2 stars today!" So, there is a lot of competitiveness between them. The play date was a good exercise, but Zack was in tears for the last half hour as Danny didn't want to do what he wanted him to.
In light of that though, Zack had an excellent day last week when he got 5 stars AND won the trophy for Enjoy-a-Ball. As a reward he and I went out for pizza (alone) in Hornsey and he got to choose exactly what he wanted, and to take the bus there and back. It was such a special evening. He must have glowed for about four days afterward. Bless his little socks.
Calvin is putting sentences together. Last Friday (so a week ago), he said very firmly, "We want yoghurt," to which we all laughed. And then on Saturday when he was misbehaving I said to him, "Who wants a shaya (smack, in Zulu) ?", to which he replied, "me!". Keith, Zack and I fell about laughing. He is trying more and more to make himself understood.
He is loving being in the bigger bed, which he calls the "new bed". He shows it to everyone, and will often be the first words off his tongue in the morning...
"Daddy. New bed", he says, pointing.
He is also getting on with the potty training. Tonight was the second time he's made a poo in the potty at bathtime. We all go crazy and praise him, and applaud, so he's getting the message loud and clear.
Nursery is going better and better. He pretends it's really hard to say goodbye, but within in seconds he's stopped crying and having fun with his mates.
It's end of year madness too - so many activities for school. Tomorrow is Cakes for Clothes day, so we were baking most of this afternoon. Tomorrow afternoon is the Christmas Fayre at School. Next week is the Nativity Play, when Zack will be one of the 3 wise men. Part of me wants to point out that there weren't 3, and that the 3 refers to the gifts. Part of me also wants to point out that he's not a "king" (as the school newsletter put it), but a "wise man from the East". Considering it's a Christian School I think it's important to get the facts straight, but hey ho - as Andy always says, "choose your battles Ruth!" I've chosen purple with a gold crown and Zack loves it.

.... he wee-wee's like a waterfall

Don't know what's up with Zack, but he has just omitted bladder control from his functioning mind in the last 2 days. We've had nights where Keith's up at 12:30am with a soaked bed, 4am with another soaked bed. Then today I'm at the playground with himself, and he pee'd himself "nat" only minutes after I'd asked him if he wanted to go to the loo. Bloomin' 'eck ! What's a parent to do ? I think we're going back into night time nappies until we have some sanity. The washing machine cannot cope with much more, and we are out of bed linen that's clean and dry.

41/14 months

Zack just loves playing "I spy" and a slight variation of it, which we call "Ten Guesses" (which means that you have to guess something he can see - or not - but he doesn't have to identify the first letter). He's really into story telling, and loves it when we make up tales about Prince Zack and Prince Calvin, or Zack the Spiderman, etc. He's excellent at filling in the gaps in familiar stories, or describing regular activities.
He is getting better and better at phonetics, and can often identify the sound that starts the word. He is writing "Z" with confidence, but struggles with the "A" and the "K". He's getting there tho. He is a pro at doing up buttons now, so pyjamas are Zack's department.
Zack has progressed so well on the toilet training. He had an upset tummy earlier in the week, so we were cleaning up mucky underpants for the first time in ages, which made me appreciate just how far he's come. The last 2 nights have also been an achievement in that he's managed to go through without wetting his nappy. This bodes well, as we'd like to get him to be dry thru the night in the near future. I think it won't be long.
Calvin is more and more mobile. You really have to keep an eye on him. Just a moment ago, I came into the study to read the BBC news site and before I could blink he'd crawled up the stairs. He is able to climb up onto our Barcelona chairs in the lounge, unassisted; altho' he is unable to get onto the sofa which is slightly higher - he gets frustrated at that. He loves playing peek-a-boo, and goes from room to room saying, "Aaaahahhhh. Ba-ba. Duhd. Daah-dee. Yeaaa. Eeehhh. Eeeett. Deh. Daaa--ahh. Aaah-ti," and the usual simpering which means, 'I want my own way Mummy!' He certainly has learnt how to crank up the volume - and lets you know when he means business. I think people are surprised when he shouts, as they know him to be so passive and chilled.
Calvin is pointing alot and saying "Dee" when he does so. He is interested in lights, switches and buttons, and wants to turn them on and off. Keeping him away from the DVD-player is proving a challenge, as he's watched his brother use it, and also being a genius, knows which button to press to open the CD tray. Eek !
Keith has kept a Father's Day card, which has the theme tune from Star Trek playing when you open it. Calvin just loves opening and closing it, opening and closing it. I must try and get it on video to upload :)

Blimey

The words are just tumbling out, but they're matched with the emerging will. Zack is stubborn and knows exactly what he wants - how he inherited those traits from us, I do not know? Latest "strop techniques" are slapping, pinching, and the newest of the new - hitting his head against whatever's nearby. It's fine when it's your chest, but not funny when it's your throat, neck or face. He has started biting his own hand again, when he can't get his way in public.
I am incredibly torn about the whole dummy issue at present. I take a firm line during the day, and don't let him have it unless he's sleeping. But the truth is that he sleeps at nursery without it, Mondays and Tuesdays. I do give in when he's going off the deep-end and we need to be somewhere (public) for an extended period of time - if I don't, any kind of social interaction becomes untenable, and I feel "ruled" by a beligerent 20 month old. The truth is that it REALLY calms him down, and will change the situation completely, if he has it. I can see that the Demise of the Dum must come. Perhaps sooner rather than later eh ?

Today we said "mango" for the first time, and we've been spending alot of time on "look" too. I have said "do this, NOW" alot this week, so that's been incorporated too. Altho' saying the word does not equate with obedience, or a sense of urgency.

I have bought a book on development so that I can keep pace with things for the next few years. It's entitled "Bright Start", and is broad in it's scope. After reading the first few chapters on Zack's age group, I was very encouraged by their stand on 'sticking to your guns' (ie. boundaries), being the best gift you can give your child. Zack doesn't like "No" one little bit. A friend of mine is currently working in a social services position where they remove children at risk, from their families, and she said that most of the teenagers she deals with who have huge problems have been allowed to rule their families from day 1 - no boundaries only leads to disaster.

Are you afraid to parent ?
It has occurred to me tho' that living here in the UK, creates its own kinds of phobias. You are always told by "authority figures" (sometimes an author, sometimes a govt child-care worker, sometimes a TV guru, sometimes by another mum, very often tho' it's source-less) that you aren't equipped for this job : You don't really know how to feed your child, discipline your child, raise your child, x your child, y your child. As a result, most parents, who are already feeling decidedly skittish sans-sleep, are driven to the mires of insecurity. "Yes, you're right," they cry, "I am rubbish at all this. Please won't you sell me the means to do it." [Ka-ching!]
Talking to a mate who has 2 kids and is raising them on the continent, it was mentioned that it is not out of the ordinary for a parent to leave their child sleeping at home in the evening, and quickly nip out for 20 minutes to the newsagent, or a pub. Yes, and that means exactly what you're all thinking : the child is at home ALONE. Now, in the UK, you would be imprisoned for that. Funny how social conventions change, and nowadays are underpinned by this culture of fear:

• There are paedophiles everywhere – I can't turn away from my child in a park
• Someone might break in and take him/ her – I can't leave my child asleep in the car, in my garage
  
• I can't nip down to the station and pick up my husband (because it's late and freezing) - there might be a fire at home, and there'd be no-one to rescue our child

Yes, these are all very plausible threats, but exactly HOW real are they ? What are the stats ? How many paedophiles live in my street ? How many kids get stolen out of locked cars, in closed garages, in middle-class neighbourhoods, every day ?

Keith: In each of these scenarios, the consequences for our lives (ie. the loss of a child) is SO great, that any discussion of the realistic probabilities is overshadowed by emotive debate. We regularly put our children into situations (eg. letting them play on a swing) where the probability of the loss of their life is far higher than the above scenarios, but because these are the ones that make news headlines, we react irrationally (with fear) to them.

Toilet Training begins:
We recently bought a toilet seat and step. Zack is like clockwork in the evenings, and will make a poo straight after dinner. We are yet to catch him in time to deposit it in the loo, but he is learning that it goes into the toilet and then flushes it away with a 'bye, bye' to boot! I am encouraged by his awareness. We may get him started in the next little while - won't that be wonderful ?