Family holiday - Johannesburg

Calvin didn't start walking (I had hoped he would), but speeded up the crawling

Spiderman is a current favourite - couldn't get the swimming costume off him some days

What more can I say ? The kids had a blast, we got to sleep in. We've come home rested and ready for what 2010 will throw at us

41/14 months

Zack just loves playing "I spy" and a slight variation of it, which we call "Ten Guesses" (which means that you have to guess something he can see - or not - but he doesn't have to identify the first letter). He's really into story telling, and loves it when we make up tales about Prince Zack and Prince Calvin, or Zack the Spiderman, etc. He's excellent at filling in the gaps in familiar stories, or describing regular activities.
He is getting better and better at phonetics, and can often identify the sound that starts the word. He is writing "Z" with confidence, but struggles with the "A" and the "K". He's getting there tho. He is a pro at doing up buttons now, so pyjamas are Zack's department.
Zack has progressed so well on the toilet training. He had an upset tummy earlier in the week, so we were cleaning up mucky underpants for the first time in ages, which made me appreciate just how far he's come. The last 2 nights have also been an achievement in that he's managed to go through without wetting his nappy. This bodes well, as we'd like to get him to be dry thru the night in the near future. I think it won't be long.
Calvin is more and more mobile. You really have to keep an eye on him. Just a moment ago, I came into the study to read the BBC news site and before I could blink he'd crawled up the stairs. He is able to climb up onto our Barcelona chairs in the lounge, unassisted; altho' he is unable to get onto the sofa which is slightly higher - he gets frustrated at that. He loves playing peek-a-boo, and goes from room to room saying, "Aaaahahhhh. Ba-ba. Duhd. Daah-dee. Yeaaa. Eeehhh. Eeeett. Deh. Daaa--ahh. Aaah-ti," and the usual simpering which means, 'I want my own way Mummy!' He certainly has learnt how to crank up the volume - and lets you know when he means business. I think people are surprised when he shouts, as they know him to be so passive and chilled.
Calvin is pointing alot and saying "Dee" when he does so. He is interested in lights, switches and buttons, and wants to turn them on and off. Keeping him away from the DVD-player is proving a challenge, as he's watched his brother use it, and also being a genius, knows which button to press to open the CD tray. Eek !
Keith has kept a Father's Day card, which has the theme tune from Star Trek playing when you open it. Calvin just loves opening and closing it, opening and closing it. I must try and get it on video to upload :)

early winter colds

Zack gets a paint-job at Early Learning Centre

We don't have H1N1 I believe, but the entire family's come down with nasty colds. Zack has a hacking cough (especially at night), Calvin is a green-snotty bub, Keith and I both have ENT infections. I think it's an indication of our mental state too – feeling run-down and over-wraught with all the goings on in the house and in our lives. The to-do list is overwhelming (tho' I hit it with all I've got during the weeks), the house has bits of mess in every room (eg. boxes, piles of paper, children's toys, discarded socks) and both feel exhausted in the evenings.
We had a lovely Saturday with friends – Corné & René – en route to Katmandu. They had a whole day to spend with us, and we loved going to the park, the playground & the pub. heh heh.

Corné

René

congratulations : utrecht

Ah Clint & Jeany have done it again. Safe delivery of little Oliver Fischer - congrats to both of you, and to Sadie & Jack on a new baby brother.

so much going on

When I see that I haven't posted anything in the last month, I know it's a testimony to just how busy you can get with two little people.

Calvin is crawling with ease now, and taking steps with his hands held. He loves 'walking' and is constantly begging you to lift him up so that he can go walk-about. He has six teeth – three on top (two and a half) and three at the bottom. He's had a bit of a cold, and a nasty viral rash a couple of weeks ago, but has made a full recovery.
He is really taking to solids and loves pasta and veggies, and of course - meat. He isn't very partial to bread tho' he will chew on a small bit here and there. His favourite fruit juice is lychee, and actually pushes apple juice aside if it's offered. He's learning to ask for things too. If he's mid-meal and is feeling thirsty, he'll say something like "dah day" and turn his head aside until he gets a cup. He is very eager to sip out of a cup, but so much of it goes down his front that I really need to be "in the mood" to indulge it, (and clean up afterwards/ do a clothing change).

enthusiastic session of nail-cutting "by myself"

Zack is continuing to mature. Today we were in a fabric store, and once we'd paid, Zack said "Let's get out of here."
I just laughed and laughed.
And last week, he said to me "Mommy, let's put my duvet on my bed like normal."
I just had to chuckle again - "like normal" obviously means 'as it should be'. Where did he get that from ?
Today was the nursery's Halloween Party. Zack doesn't go to nursery on Thursdays and I didn't make a special effort to go along. I feel a real reticence to support the Halloween celebrations, as he doesn't really understand it, and I hope that once he does, he'll know that Keith and I don't approve of the celebration of witches, devils, evil spirits, and all that goes with it. We want to celebrate life and the good things in it - when do we have a special day for that ?

Amazing.... said the Gruffalo I seem to say that all the time these days. Kids grow up so quickly.

congratulations : london

Simon & Mary Jenkinson have a baby boy - Christopher Luke, born this morning. How exciting!

on the move

Calvin can now crawl using all four limbs, and in a far more upright position. He's fast.
He's cutting two more teeth – incisors – the top two in front. Lots of dribbling, but I think we're nearly there.
Sleepwise, Calvin is still waking up regularly at 4am and crying. Sometimes I get up and settle him (70% of the time), other times it's Keith (15%) and the rest is us both lying there trying to be very disciplined about not going to him. We really need to make it more 30% going to him – there's no reason for waking up other than attention. Problem is, when it's your second child, you just want peace & quiet so you can go back to sleep. So you're actually reinforcing the bad behaviour.

We're having a few glorious moments with Zack. Yesterday on the tube, a chap got on at Camden Town (home of goths, alternative culture, punk, etc) with piercings on his face and a blue bandana. First thing Zack says is "what's that thing in his nose ?".
So I went through the list of possibilities, "Is it a boogie ?", "No,"
"Is it jewellery?", "Yes,"
"Is it a necklace?" (an in joke in our family), "No," he says rolling his eyes,
"Is it a bracelet?", "No,"
"Is it a jewel?", "Yes".
"Oooohhh".
and then, "Mommy, that man is a pirate," meaning the chap in the bandana.
"Yes," I say, "there is a pirate on the train."

Congratulations : naperville IL

Big surprise here : safe arrival of Etienne Lambert to Ryan & Lanelle. And a jolly healthy size too at 9lbs 8oz - well done Lanelle.

reconnoiter

I went and viewed the first primary school today : St James C of E Primary School. I hope to visit at least 4 before it's decision time. My impression was that it is a good school (Ofsted report is exemplary), the children all seem happy and confident, the administration is progressive, the head-teacher was open and at ease. Zack is eager to go there because he has friends attending already : Oskar, Jamie and Chloe - I don't think he realises that they're going to be a year ahead of him. It'll be nice for him to see them and have the familiarity to aid the settling process.
I hope to view the others nearby : Tetherdown Primary, Muswell Hill Primary, and our Lady of Muswell Hill Catholic Primary. I might see a few further away depending on how I feel after 4.

happy birthday Baby-cakes

Calvin turned 1 recently, and we had a little Birthday Tea for a few friends.

My friend Elly's little boy, Asante, had his naming ceremony too - a really special event.

Kwame and Elly say their lines

We've been quite busy altho' Summer seems to be over – it keeps surprising us with another few glorious days between the cool, grey, drizzle that is autumn in London.

Zack & Charlie on the dervish at Ally Pally's Fair

I took Zack for a haircut on Saturday, and despite visiting the kiddie's salon last Wednesday so that he would be familiar with the space, he still went mental when it was cutting time. In the end I sat in the chair and held him down while the hairdresser cut quickly. Keith was standing behind him placating, but it was all very traumatic : Zack screaming and thrashing, and mother trying to maintain a firm grip on a 25kg (55lb) toddler. Poor Calvin was asleep when it all started, but the noise woke him up and he was crying too. There were two other boys in the room having haircuts (probably 8 and 10 year olds), and they were amazed at the proceedings.
In the end Zack calmed down to a sob, and then went quiet. Throughout we were all saying what a good boy he is, that there isn't anything to be scared of, that the cutting doesn't hurt at all, that he is very brave, etc. etc. I think the previous stints at the barber's have scarred him for life! But by the time he walked out of the shop, he was fine (except for the hairs tickling him) and said "goodbye" and "thank you" for the balloon. The rest of the day was filled with "I am a brave boy", and our reinforcing "Yes, you are a very brave boy."
Hope next time is better.

The trauma of the haircut completely forgotten
– sitting on Mario's shoulders

up, up and away

Calvin is standing and loving it. Still only has three teeth, but there must be more on the way as there are signs of them coming - sore bottom, lots of drool and chewing his fingers.

make mine one with everything...

Recently I took Zack with me to Starbucks (I am addicted. There I've said it). He usually has a lolly. Instead he said he'd have the almond biscotti - my usual accompaniment - because I wasn't ordering it. As I was about to pay, he was offered the "babychino"- I see that Starbucks is now pumping this product big time. Zack quickly accepted and we paid and went and sat down. As soon as I took my seat next to him, he unwrapped the biscotti and handed me one of the two biscuits. He then said,
'Mummy, I'm having a latté".
I was caught completely off-guard.
'I beg your pardon?' I said.
'I'm having a latte.' He repeated.
I just had to laugh. That's my "usual", so he was just saying what he'd always heard. I corrected him with, 'No love, you're having a babychino'.
'Oh,' he said, 'I'm having a 'chino'.
'That's right,' I said.

zonked

Calvin has been up two nights running, teething. Last night I was up from 2:20am until nearly 4am and we tried everything - teething powder, Bonjela and lots of rocking and comforting. It didn't have much effect. Feeling pretty smashed today & the kitchen counters are being installed. Sigh...

horrid hols

We're getting savvy in our old age... holidays with just Mum & Dad, Zack & Calvin are not working. The kids are bored and we get NO rest. We've been away for 10 days, and the lesson has been learnt. We gotta find a better way!
France was just beautiful and we were blessed with lovely weather and a chance to see the Loire Valley, gardens and chateux. Highlights included Villandry gardens, Zack & Keith going swimming; riding on the lawnmower with Hugo; staying with Ghislaine & Gerard.
Sadly Andy & Tammy weren't able to enjoy their holiday at all, as Tammy was in and out of hospital with respiratory problems. In the end they came back to the UK and went into ICU in Guildford. Tammy is doing much better now, and we anticipate she'll be discharged later today.
Zack was begging to come home 2 days ago, he was missing his friends and the familiarity of home & habit. He toddled off with us to playschool this morning in his Spiderman Tshirt and a happy face.
Calvin and I have both caught the nasty cough that Zack had, and now it's sore ears, tearful eyes, sinusitis and a nasty cough. Calvin was running a temperature last night, but a bit of Calpol helped him fight it.

meddling neighbours

Yes, Marianne has said that Zack is extremely noisy in the mornings. To top it though, I have just had two neighbours from the opposite side ring our doorbell because Zack was in the bathtub "screaming for more than 10 minutes". Andy arrived this morning and Zack has been completely over-excited all day. Cleaning up toys was a chore, getting Zack to eat his dinner while wandering around and chucking his plate of food on the floor was a chore. Getting Zack to leave YouTube (we were showing Andy the Evian, skating babies) was a chore. Getting Zack into the bath was a battle. Getting him to rinse his hair was a battle. And in the end I emptied the bathtub, asking him to get out, and he wouldn't. So I left him there and joined Keith while he ate his supper and Zack shouted upstairs. He is COMPLETELY able to get out of the bath himself. He just chose not to. He sat in that tub screaming because he wanted attention, and we weren't going to give it to him because he is 'beyond reasoning', he's so tired.
And then... when Keith finally goes upstairs to get him out, the neighbours ring the bell and start talking about child abuse and saying that it's just insane leaving a child naked in the bathtub for ages, screaming. My first question was "do you have children?" and the second was "are you an aunt or uncle?" Negative to both. So I just waved my hands. Bloody hell! Who the hell do people think they are ????
I invited them in to see Zack, to speak to Keith. Both declined.
Piss off, gits.

.... I have seldom felt such indignation.

oink - zoom

Swine Flu
Zack came home with a newsletter today to say that some children at the nursery have been prescribed Tamiflu and that the council has decided that there is nothing to be gained by closing local nurseries now. As I'd said before, it is really just a question of time before one of us comes down with it. The press published infection rates in yesterday's paper and many of the borough's have around 400 per 100,000 except for Tower Hamlets (where we used to live) which stands around 740 per 100,000 – almost double.

Zack and Anokye tuck into some pineapple

Zack's PT has dipped in the past few days. Last night he wee'd while eating his dinner. This morning, he wee'd going downstairs for breakfast (I assume he'd forgotten that he wasn't wearing a nappy - night time thing - and just let go). It's exasperating because he knows what's going on and we are caught between 'was it an accident' or 'is he just doing it for attention' ?

Crawling
Calvin is honing his mobility and can now get around using two arms and a leg. I've tried to encourage the second leg to join in, but he prefers to keep it dead-straight in a sort of rudder position. He loves being able to get around and go and see things : this evening he wandered off to the guest loo and utility room for a 'look see'. He is really very sweet and loves to wave his arms, wiggle his right hand and fingers and shriek. He is certainly getting the screaming down pat - enough to raise the dead sometimes.

summertime

We are now living downstairs - the kitchen has gone in and we've moved the TV downstairs too. It means that Zack can watch whatever he likes (of course within reason) NOT in our bedroom. That means one of us can sleep in, without the fighting that used to take place outside the bedroom door, to keep one 3 year old quiet. Bliss !
It also means that we're no longer eating in the study and washing up in the bathroom which is jolly nice indeed.
Zack has been in transition again (boy, does this ever slow down) which means that he's had moments where he's a complete handful and won't listen to anything, sticks his tongue out and shouts "NO!" at us; but he is also delightful and tells me that he wants to marry me (Yikes, the Oedipal complex has kicked in). There has been a sudden cognitive blooming - he is getting all sorts of ideas together with the vocabulary necessary for communicating them. It's really amazing watching the changes. He is still as bossy as ever : today we were building train-tracks, and I asked if I could fix the 'design'. A while later he said to me, "You can play with my trains Mummy, but you must never, ever change my tracks. OK!?!"
It's now summer holidays which means no more Enjoy-a-Ball classes until September, which will be sorely missed. The upside is that in September he will be joined by more children - a bigger class (than the current 3).
Something I'm struggling with is the reward for good/bad behaviour. On the one hand I want Zack to realise that toys are valuable and don't grow on trees. But also that when he gets things we need to value them - they don't just get replaced when they get broken or thrown away. But at the same time, there's the pressure of developmental needs and I feel like it's time to buy him a bike. Perhaps it could be a carrot for good behaviour.. but what ?
Calvin is getting around quite a bit - he's just using two arms and a knee but it's enough to get him from one side of the room to another, especially if there are wires to be reached and pulled. Phone chargers are in danger.
Zack is none too gentle with his little brother so I need to keep an eye on them, altho' Calvin now yells if his brother holds his hand or foot - an alarm of sorts.
Calvin is trying to drop his afternoon sleep, and it makes life quite hard as he gets so tired by 4pm that he's inconsolable. Tut tut - that's little tots for you. He's participating more and more in conversations and we've graduated from da-da-da to ma-ma and na-na, and also deee-th. I guess that means "dad-ee" is around the corner.
Unlike his brother, Calvin cannot bear a moment with a poo in his nappy, so he has a special "poo cry", which means 'Take it away!'. Pretty useful.

make that...

Two Teeth! he cut the second one the following day. Poor little guy - and more importantly, poor mummy and daddy who've had very little sleep in the last ten days with the teething. Good news tho' is that the constipation seems to be easing. It's so hard for these little tummies to get used to "new" food. I've very relieved that things seem to be back on a rhythm.
Calvin is also sitting more and more. He struggles to stay upright on very hard surfaces (wooden flooring), but carpets are easier. He's taking more note of himself in the mirror too, and reaching out when we walk past.

tooth

Calvin has one tooth - bottom left. He cut it one day shy of ten months... pretty slow going, but if a friend is to be believed, the longer it takes for them to come, the better quality they are. Maybe his are verging on Titanium, or Carbon or something... ha ha.

My mum on her last afternoon with us

The house continues a pace, with the dry rot chaps leaving last Friday and the flooring men arriving this morning at 8:30am. Very soon we will have a living area in our house, and early next week the semblance of a kitchen too. Zack has been extremely naughty in the past five days. Saturday was the worst with him getting up to all sorts - actually it had started on Friday night with him throwing his shoes over the fence into the neighbour's garden. Unfortunately the fence is just too high for me to reach over, so it was left to Keith. Saturday morning they were retrieved, and Zack promptly threw them over the fence again. Keith was furious.
Throwing things is a bit of a thing right now: cars, stones, toys; and refusing to listen (perhaps it's just being contrarian but it amounts to the same thing). My counsellor suggested that his behaviour is affected by the ongoing upheaval in his environment. Granted. I also see the jealousy of Calvin entertwined there - especially as Calvin gets more mobile. Zack is pushing all the boundaries, so it's taking extra effort on all our parts to show him where the parameters are.

Tina (our housekeeper) continues to be a real support.

Second time around

We are now in the thick of getting Calvin onto solids. He is hilariously different from Zack. He prefers to be able to have one hand in whatever it is we're feeding him, I guess it must be a texture thing. And he's slowly getting the message that he needs to open his mouth to let the food in. He is quite a little tiger though, as he will fight off attempts to feed him when he's decided he's a) not ready, or b) not in the mood. His little hands flap around and he presses his lips, firmly together. He loved the blended chicken and butternut, but hated the beans and brocolli (admittedly it tasted very dull & dreary). I've tried a few of the bottled offerings, which he can't stand but he's happily eating the sachets of organic food made by Ella's Kitchen. I'm such a pragmatic mummy – I've never been one to insist on only organic for my children. He gets a mixture of everything.
One thing I'd never offered Zack is Cheerios, but I've bought a box and sprinkle a few on the table every morning. Calvin has excellent fine motor skills (again, completely different from his big brother), so loves picking up small things and putting them in his mouth.
We had a nasty few days of sore bottoms, and acidic nappies, but still no sign of teeth – going to have to wait and see. Someone said to me the other day, that the longer you wait for teeth, the better they are (I'm assuming quality). It sounds like another 'placatory mummy comment' to me. But it would be nice to believe.

We spent a lovely afternoon at a local fair in Bounds Green last weekend

Zack is pottering along. He's loving his new ball skills class – Enjoy a Ball – with Nicole and wishes most of Tuesday mornings away so that he can go, at lunchtime. We've moved the trampoline off the deck and into the far corner of the garden, so we can use the deck area. It feels far less claustrophobic now. We're having a lovely summer, so there's ample opportunity for sitting outside of an evening.

My cousins came for lunch 2 weeks ago, and Zack had a ball

His potty training has been successful, and most mornings he'll even get up and poo in the toilet instead of his nappy, which Keith and I think is the best gift.
Because of the state of the house, we don't have a very accessible TV area (it's in our bedroom), so Zack watches quite a few of his favourite CBB's shows on the 'mecuter' (computer), and is becoming incredibly dextrous with a mouse. He's got the hang of where the buttons are for clicking and how to navigate the screen. Ah, another generation eh ?
Our housekeeper, Tina, continues to be an enormous help. She is very willing and very able. She is crazy about Calvin and just wants to cuddle and play with him. Initially Zack was quite enamored with her, but now he's realised she's here to stay (and discipline him), so he needs a few AAK's (attitude adjustment klap) along the way for spitting, blowing razzies, and saying "No!". But he'll get there. Tina had her visa extended yesterday, so she's in high spirits and feeling very relieved. I really feel for her because she's been here almost a decade, but the new "Living in the UK" tests stand between her and getting her residency. I've read the material and some of it is beyond the grasp of a huge percentage of the British populace. They've certainly set the bar high.
My mum is back from her canalboat holiday this afternoon, so we look forward to getting her back. On Monday Nana will be going home to "Africa" (as Zack says), which will be a sad goodbye. Best we make the most of the next few days.
On the house-front, we continue a pace with the dry-rot removal. We've been told it'll be just another week 'till they're finished, then we can get our flooring back. And unwrap the sofas (which were delivered last week, but are standing up-ended, in the front lounge. We're all wishing our way to the kitchen installation, but that'll be sometime yet.

PT success

Zack is now 99% potty trained during the day. We haven't had any accidents in the last two weeks. Calvin was 9 months old yesterday, and is getting along well. Still no teeth, and no sitting. But he's a happy little baby, loves shrieking (new thing), sleeps on his tummy sometimes and has lovely sparkly eyes, just like his brother.

PT - nearly there

It's really strange how things sneak up on you as a parent. You hear it all the time, "they grow up so quickly," etc etc. I feel like we've been on the potty-training treadmill for a millenia and now suddenly Zack has got the message. Today we had NO accidents. Only hiccup was that he insisted on going to bed with no nappy, so I had to let him sleep for a while before I surreptitiously sneaked one on. Only 2 weeks ago we went cold turkey and were cleaning poo out of underpants, and wanting to vomit. And now here we are, and I have no idea what changed, or what was different, or why Zack got it right. I think that peer pressure at nursery has certainly helped because he gave me a very long story this morning about not being a little boy anymore, but that he was a big, big boy. He even pee'd standing up at Jackie's house this morning. I was completely verstom (afrikaans for 'stumped'). I didn't know he could do it.
All very exciting.

This is one of those classic shots of your kid – he SO doesn't want to be in the photo

Zack's nursery outing to Legoland Windsor on Thursday 14th May was great fun. I don't recommend trying to do it alone with 2 small children, but overall we had a great time. Here all his little mates are posing with the 'stars' from the water show (a sort of Indiana Jones style thing, with lots of falling off high towers into the water, jet-ski's and trampoline stunts) – the kids loved them.

PT - some success

Zack is very proud of himself (or it may just be the motivation of getting a lolly), but he has managed to get his wee in the potty a few times this week, and even a poo yesterday. I am very relieved that things are moving ahead in this sphere. I feel like we've been on the potty training (PT) treadmill for a year and a half with very little success.
This week alone, I've had to wipe up a very large puddle of urine in Marks & Spencer, and under the Tombola table at yesterday's Fair. Have I espoused the virtues of muslin clothes before ? I'm sure I have. They have MANY uses.
I'm looking forward to a week of more flushing, and less holding legs in the air to wipe bums

spring is in the air

We took ourselves off to Highgate woods over the weekend, and it was gloriously sunny. Kids running around kicking balls, eating icecream and climbing trees. Just wonderful!
We have hired a housekeeper to help with running the house and staying up to date on washing, cleaning and two untidy little boys. Let's face it, it's only going to get worse - mess wise - before it gets better. Calvin is rolling over, so crawling and sitting are not far away, which will add to the 'containment' issues. LOL.
The house is still a tip, and more so as the dry-rot work continues on and on. They've been here for 5 weeks now and we've gone down to soil in the lounge, the kitchen and now the utility room stairs. They're actually burrowing underneath the entrance hall tiles to find the extremity of the infestation. We're holding our breath to see if it's just a foot or so.
I feel emotionally tired just thinking about it all. And I don't feel like there's a huge amount of down time. Even tho' we have a TV (currently in our bedroom, away from too much dust), I seem to stagger up there at about 10:30pm and switch it on, flick through the channels, then roll over and go to sleep. I'm really not a fan of TV in the bedroom, it seems to eat into my 'self time'.

It's not all about YOU Zack

Enough of the horribly demanding 3 year old...
Calvin is doing so well. He is a very sweet little boy, with a cheery disposition (just like Mary Poppins) and quite placid for the most part. He is now learning to roll sideways.

He loves curling up his feet and playing with his toes. He enjoys the time on his tummy and his neck is getting stronger and stronger. I'm pottering along pretty steadily with the weaning. I'm following the 'baby led weaning' that I did with Zack - giving Calvin lots of things to gnaw on : apple sticks, banana wedges, cooked snap peas, carrots, potato. He does tend to gag on the unusual textures, but he's getting the hang of it.

Calvin & Isabel enjoy an intimate moment at Mudchute Farm

on the upside...

Good news (for once) : I have secured a place for Zack at a nearby nursery, for 3 days a week. It will start next Tuesday. Apparently I can claim £300-500/term for childcare from the government too, because he is over the age of 3. How great is that ? ! ?

despite the photo we had a fabulous time

Today was Zack's 3rd birthday party. Unfortunately he is now in bed with a raging temperature and a little delirious, talking about fish in dark tunnels and spiderman in his bedroom (he's NEVER watched spiderman, so I don't know what he's thinking). Have given him some paracetamol and will check his temp in an hour or so. Currently it's 38.5ºC
The party was an absolute hit : good ratio of adults to children. We had pass the parcel and everyone got a treat. I put out lots of fruit and veggies (in addition to the usual culprits - crisps / sweets), and everything got munched except the tomatoes. We had ice-cream cones towards the end of the afternoon with 'sprinkles' and of course the cake.

Timing is everything....

Jake, Alessio, Zack & Mia pose with their fancy cones

Zack and Keith spent all morning putting up the new trampoline and Dean (one of the daddies) helped Keith attach the net in time for the party to start. It was a complete hit, and everyone jumped and jumped and jumped. I am really pleased it went off so well.

I am now going to sit in bed with a glass of wine - I really miss having a TV and a sofa - and read a book while the kids sleep.

photos from SA holiday

zack chasing sienna and cole on our first Sunday

calvin enjoying a moment on grandpa's lap

back to earth with a thud...

Tomorrow is "exit day" - we fly out of OR Tambo at 21h25. It's going to be interesting to see how I cope with two little 'uns, but I'm not the first and the air hostesses have been very helpful thus far. Once I'm home tho...the daunting task of ripping up the floor and all the "dry rot work" lies ahead - what a pain in the butt. I feel exhausted just thinking about the mess and builders and Aaarrghhhh !
I lean on a verse in Matthew 6 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." [verse 34] - gives you a bit of perspective in all the mania.
On the upside tho' it'll be good to be home again. I can't wait to see the photos that Keith took and also begin the arrangements for Zack's 3rd birthday party next Saturday. Astonishing that he's turning three on Wednesday.

PND and all that

Yes, I know it's been quiet for the last while... it hasn't helped that we haven't had broadband for more than a month, but hey. Most of you know (from my Facebook posts at the least) that we've had a helluva time with the house - discovering dry rot under the kitchen floor (and who knows where else), ten days before we flew out to SA. I'm just hoping when Keith gets home tomorrow that it won't have grown into a forest in a short time. We'll have to wait and see.
I'm staying on in Jo'burg with the boys for another 10 days, which will be good for both Keith (getting up to speed back at the office), and the boys and I (more time with the grannies and cousins). I've been to see a counsellor and GP and have been diagnosed with Post Natal Depression (PND). It's strange, but I've had mixed feelings about talking about it since the diagnosis. I have been prescribed an SSRI antidepressant which I'll take for more than 6 months.

ever onward

It has been quite a week at Chez Guthrie. I've not been the happiest, or healthiest camper. We have however succeeded in interviewing 5 girls for the baby-sitting job, and there was one very clear leader. I am feeling extremely buoyed by Tunde and her willingness and natural affinity for children. It has been a real weight off my shoulders.

We had the locksmith in this week to replace front-door locks and put Chubb locks on all the sash-windows. A huge job, and an expensive one, but it's a good feeling to know that you've done what's necessary. We registered at a new GP practice and Calvin went for his 2nd round of shots too. I have had a nasty bout of oral thrush (candida albicans) for the last month at least, so it was good to go to the doctor's and get some Nystatin. I haven't had a chance to take it regularly enough, but I'm hoping it'll do the trick. I still have a rotten throat and sinus infection, but I'm guessing it's one of those "viral" ones, that the doctor's can't do anything about. Will go and see one in SA!

Yesterday was our 11th anniversary, and we had the wonderful Tunde here to look after the kids and put them to bed, while Keith and I grabbed some supper and went and saw a show together. It was SUCH a treat... it's been ages since we did something so nice. I think we've just been plodding along since Kelly stopped babysitting, and now I feel like we could get back into the 'regular' thing again.

Lenore has lent us a great book entitled "Getting from NO to YES, without bribing or threatening" - I have started it, but will need to take it with me to SA. It is full of great ideas and suggestions for dealing with child-rearing issues. We are taking a bit of strain with young Zack at the moment.

On Friday we went to Amy's place and saw Ruby, Caitlin, Amy & Trish. Both mums' are almost 39 weeks preggie. Whew! Sadly I didn't have the camera with me, only the vid-cam, so I'll have to upload a little clip of the kids playing together. It was delightful (mostly).

It is now midnight, and Calvin has vomited, and got diarea all in one bang. He hasn't been well since the day of his shots when he started with the upset tummy. Yesterday he vomited a huge amount of milk up, but was fine for the rest. Then again today around noon, he did the same thing again - a huge amount of milk came up (ages after a feed) – and then 'all fine' for the rest of the afternoon. He is looking quite pale, but his breathing is OK and he's still alert. I've decided to put him back to bed and feed him as soon as he wakes up again. Poor little guy - he really isn't well at all :(

settling in

We've been here for 2 weeks now, and I'm finally starting to feel more at ease. Zack and I went off to the Mum & Tots group on Monday. I felt a bit shell-shocked afterwards - no-one spoke to me, or even made a comment. There were about 50 kids there, so the place was heaving. It made me realise just how wonderful "Chatterbox" is (our 'old' group in Limehouse). The east enders are a friendly bunch - because so many of them are immigrants. Here it's one-big-homogenous-cakeslice who don't really need new friends, so they don't try . It means I'm going to have to put in some extra effort to "break the ice" as it were; it's not all bad tho.... We went along to the Woman's Bible study group at church yesterday morning and they run a creche. It worked out very well - Zack had a ball with the older boys, and played the piano a bit with the girls. I had to drag him away at the end. Calvin slept thru' the entire episode, so no complaints there. It is good to be surrounded by mums with kids the same age. Afterwards I bumped into 2 or 3 of them walking home, which adds to the sense that this is a community. Things are looking up!

Getting things sorted out at home is taking night after night of our energy : I got to IKEA at 9pm last night. It's a good thing as I managed to find a blind & curtain for the kid's bedroom. I had spent two sessions at our local John Lewis (department store) looking at curtains & blinds earlier this week, but to no avail. The ready-made ones are all too short. I suppose the other thing is that IKEA's stuff is fine (and they fit) and doesn't cost the earth. I found blinds for the study too, and the difference in cost is more than £1000!! And not for a vastly different creature either I might add.
The fridge arrived on Tuesday which was fabulous. And it's a monster ! It is nice to have the space after living out of a bar-fridge for almost 2 weeks. You think you'll never fill these things, and then steadily all the stuff creeps in.

Zack has been up & down this week. Some days he's been lovely and really interactive, enthusiastic, participated well, communicated well. Other days we've just come to loggerheads all day - those are the hardest days for me, because by 5pm my patience is gone and I turn into the disciplinarian. Keith's hours are still not too good, so he gets home well after the kid's bedtime which isn't really part of the plan. One night this week I was so tired of fighting with Zack that I got him out of the bath at 7:30 and then said to him that he could do whatever he wanted until daddy got home to read him a story and put him to bed. Keith walked in at 8:40pm and wondered why Zee was still up.
Another night this week, I just went to bed at 8:30pm - as soon as Keith got home. It's emotionally exhausting and I hardly get enough sleep anyway. It was good to be asleep for an extra few hours.

Calvin is 24 weeks tomorrow, and is getting over his conjunctivitis. It's one of those funny infections that kids get, and you really just need to be persistent about cleaning. I would like to have another round of 'shots' before we leave for South Africa. Unfortunately we aren't yet registered with a new GP here in Muzzies, so I'll probably have to go to the Barkantine to get it done. It's not all bad - will make it part of a trip to sort out the flat in Coldharbour. That is another saga, for another blog. Suffice it to say, the flat is getting fixed up and we should be able to put it on the rental market in the next week or so.

It is two weeks until we fly to South Africa and I am counting down. I CANNOT wait to be there and just rest a bit. It will be blissful having the grannies, aunties and uncles around to play with the kids and spoil them with attention and games. My poor hands and feet need lots of TLC - moving house ruins them, especially in a harsh winter like this one.

I have tried & tried to find a baby sitter to replace (the wonderful) Kelly. It's been hard work. I have still not actually managed to meet a potential candidate, but roll on next week, when I will line up some eager girls. I'm hoping to also make the time to see the local nursery (across the road) and find out about the Open Days at the local Montessori's (there are two).

how bad can it be ?

Pretty bloody awful to be fair. We moved in last week Friday - so it's been a week now - and I don't think I've felt quite this low in a long time. There have been a few big issues with the house. When we moved in we were aware that we'd need to do a few bits and bobs to make it more liveable.
As it turned out none of the showers worked properly : the first one's shower head just poured water out the top of it - useless! That bathroom has no door, and nor does the actual shower, so the water splashes everywhere including the bedroom carpet. The next shower, although convenient (it's an en suite) didn't have a mixer that worked. That meant you could only get scalding hot water. The hand shower isn't wall mounted, so you have to pick all the bits off the floor if you want to use them.
The last shower was leaking like a sieve... straight into the utility room downstairs. Turned out the shower tray hasn't been properly attached to the wall, or sealed. On top of that we've had taps that leak, and handles that fall off.
What really pushed me right over the edge yesterday tho' was the washing machine. I'd carefully timed the booking of the plumber (who has repaired most of what I've listed above), to follow the delivery of the new machine. But Keith decided that he could plumb it in and it would be fine. He couldn't have been more wrong. Yesterday was extremely stressful with so much to do between the plumber leaving, and then me driving down to the Docklands to leave Zack & Calvin with friends, so that I could attend Keith's Xmas Party. Add to this a husband who remembers at the last minute that it's black tie, and now I need to find a tux, a dress shirt and a waistcoat somewhere, in some cupboard or box, in one room or another, in a very messy house that is full of boxes. We went without a bowtie in the end!
Anyway... I set the machine to wash and before I left home I heard it spinning and it was the most awful noise. I went downstairs, to see that it was bouncing around all over the place and it's too heavy for me to move, so I just took everything off the top of it and put it on the floor. I rang Keith to say so, and he said, "Just put a towel at the door of the room so that if it floods, the water won't run onto the hardwood flooring." Guess what !? We went out to this party in central London, it finished after 12:30. We left the Docklands after 1:30am, so we only got home around 2:30am and my beautiful new washing machine had been banged against the wall and radiator. It had ripped itself out of the waste pipe, so all the waste water had filled the utility room and guest loo. Everything that I'd moved on the floor was sodden - 2 boxes of washing powder, a large bag of dirty clothes, all the instruction manuals and warranties, the neat pile of building rubble from the plumber, who'd had to cut a hole in the ceiling to find the leak from the shower, etc etc etc. I just wanted to weep. You don't feel very strong at 3am, especially after all the stuff that's needed fixing already.
There is so much washing to be done and now I don't have a machine that works - because it's not level, AND I cannot make it level. I can't go to the laundromat because I can't control 2 small children for 2 or 3 hours in a confined space with nothing to do. Besides, it's raining and snowing so we can't exactly play outside can we?
Keith blames it entirely on the fact that John Lewis took away the one piece of equipment that he needed to level the machine - a special LG spanner. It's unusually large so nothing we have fits it. Brilliant!
After all that, lying in bed at 4am, I hear a drip-drip-drip, and it's the basin in our en-suite. It's started leaking too (apparently because Keith bumped it). Honestly, you start thinking "what next?".

Calvin carries on regardless. He is incredibly placid and easy-going. The only time he really gets upset is when he's hungry and is being ignored. Unfortunately he's now got conjunctivitis in his right eye. Poor little blighter.
I am not coping at all well with Zack's behaviour at the moment. He is being deliberately VERY naughty, throwing things down the stairs and acting up. It's a very very hard time indeed. I have not had to scream at him so much in a very long time. I feel quite hoarse from all the shouting I've had to do this morning. He is incredibly defiant and stubborn. Everything is "No Mommy", or "I'll tell my Daddy" (obviously a classic that he's picked up at nursery), and the last resort, "You not my friend Mommy!" Please tell me this isn't going to last ? I just hate every minute of it.

You're probably wondering how we're all doing in the snow and sleet ? I think I have more than enough on my plate right now... but I did manage to take Zack out to play in it. He didn't like that it was so cold. I will upload some photos soon.

On top of everything Zack and I baked some snickerdoodles yesterday (type of biscuit) which turned out really well. He took 18 of them to Greg & Charlie as a treat.

out of touch ?

Well, yesterday was the big "packing up" day and all of our worldly possessions are now in a van somewhere on the A12. Zack has been really psyched about the move, jumping around and shouting. He's decided that his bed, and mummy and daddy's bed are going in his room! It's very emotional saying goodbye to everything here in the East of London, after almost 9 years in the area. But we've had a chance to say our farewells to each group of friends, and Zack's nursery friends too, so I don't feel like we're rushing out the door. As luck would have it, I'm back at church tomorrow for a cookery course, Zack has a birthday party in the afternoon, and I have a party in the evening too, so we'll hardly be gone for 20 hours!

Full On
The daunting task of caring for two little people at home 24/7 now lies ahead of me, but I'm hoping that I'll quickly find mum & tot groups to attend, and that going to church on Sunday will open doors to local goings-on and a mum's bible study too. Whew! Big changes.
We are saying goodbye to our nanny, Kelly, who lives in south-east London. It's too far for her to travel on Mondays and Fridays. We are very sad to see her go, but I'm hoping that we'll be able to stay in touch. Zack is very fond of her, and she of him – it's much more than just a job.
I'm not sure at this point in time what the child-care arrangements are going to be. I've looked into the two Montessori schools nearby. There is a nursery over-the-road, so I'll check that out next week. I'll need to start interviewing baby-sitters again, so there's a list of things for me to do in that regard.

at least poo washes off

Today Zack found a permanent marker - yes, I am entirely to blame (packing up house means there are scissors, packing tape and marker pens lying around) - and coloured in his bed linen and his toy monkey. God is very wise and allows time to pass and for you to see the funny side of things. If I'd been writing this at 2:30pm today I would have had to censor the entry - I was fuming. They aren't wrong when they say that you must tackle stains immediately because I did manage to get most of it off monkey's face, but I'm afraid his body and tail are "coloured in" for life.


Blessed relief:
Calvin is now sleeping for more than 6 hours at a stretch! So we are getting more sleep and feeling a little more able. Now all I have to do is get Keith to go to bed before 12:30 and we'll have made progress :(

unhappy puppy

You could say that I am grumpy. I don't think that I've ever had a "cold" (NHS for viral infection) that has been this painful before IN MY LIFE. My throat and sinuses are so sore that I want to just start drinking & sniffing anaesthetic. I feel like the back of my throat is covered in lesions - every swallow is excruciating. The inside of my mouth feels like I've burnt it, which makes me wonder whether I don't have oral thrush - I caught it from Zack when he was very small, so I do have some memory of that experience. The one good thing is that my nose is relatively clear, so I can actually breath. But that's where it stops. I took a good look at myself in the mirror this afternoon and thought, "hell, you look like you're on cortisone" - my throat is so swollen that it looks like the underside of my chin and neck have fused. I can't sniff because it's so sore, but blowing my nose is just as painful.
Hey, did I mention that my ears ache too ?

the news

Hurrah ! We will complete on the new house on the 26th of January. Which means we can move in any time after that.
The sad news is that Kelly, our nanny, has decided not to come with us to North London because of the distance. This is really heart-breaking for me as I had so hoped to have some kind of familiarity in the new environment for Zack. But, I suppose, what will be, will be. Perhaps we can arrange a few trips to see Kelly in the first month.
Thankfully, we only have to get ourselves through 4 weeks and then we'll be off to SA & glorious sunshine, and time with family. That should be enough time for me to at least settle us in, find a few kiddy activities nearby, and look at a nursery for Zee.

Every journey starts with a single step. I've called the removal company, so now we need to decided on a date !

Run Down
I am one sick puppy. I've had an ENT infection for nearly 2 weeks now, and the doctor told me to take paracetamol - $&%@”™ idiot ! I've been having progressively worse and worse night's sleep, so I feel pretty broken right now. I took myself off to the doctor again today, and initially she went the Iboprofen / Paracetamol route, and I just thought, "forget this!"... so I had a jolly good cry and said that it wasn't good enough. That I needed to be healthy to cope with being a mother, and that paracetamol, et al, wasn't cutting it. She said I needed rest. I told here, there is no rest with 2 children. She said I should speak to my health visitor. Yeah, yeah, haven't we heard that one before. In the end she gave in and prescribed some penicillin. I'm hoping it'll make a difference because I could happily cut my head off at the moment, it feels so awful. I'm sure my glands in my throat are the size of plums. Swallowing is an effort. And on top of it all, I still have very swollen eye-lids after 7 days. Thankfully you can't prescribe paracetamol for that too! She said it's probably a viral conjuctivitis so I need to bathe them with distilled water. Watch this space....

backwards is forwards

Zack is now walking backwards with confidence. You may think, "so what?!" but it's a significant developmental milestone. He is still crazy about cars, building roads out of bricks and blocks, and his trainset. His behaviour continues to be up & down: we have the most delightful moments when we giggle together and tell one another 'secrets', and egg each another on to do silly things, but he is struggling to control his feelings of frustration. The latest outlet is spitting and rasberries. I tell myself, it could be worse, but it still needs to be monitored. There is a thin line between a casual rasberry and defiance, disrespect and just plane rude.
Calvin is doing well - he is now lifting his little feet up and kicking his baby gym dangle-doodads. He's interacting more and more, catching your eye across the room and giving you a big smile. He is determined to eat his fingers, which may (or may not) be the early signs of teething.
My neighbour, Huma, came to tea yesterday and we chatted about all things baby. She mentioned that she'd been for a BCG with Aneeq at the Barkantine, and they'd given him an out of date one, and admistered it incorrectly. She is a paediatrician so would notice if someone had pinched the skin or not, etc etc. It made me take a look at Calvin's immunisation chart, and I saw that I haven't had ANY of them (besides the BCG, which is an enormous, swollen, ugly scab on his shoulder right now). What's the matter with me ? He's missed his 8 week, his 12 week and his 16 week jabs. Consequently we have an appointment on Monday morning at 8:15am for the first round! Naughty mummy.

two things...

I've given up the unequal struggle and am now formula-feeding Calvin 100%. Unfortunately there is almost no way of keeping up when bottles are easy to drink from. Now that I've tried to express to chase up the milk production I can see just how little is being produced by moi. Well, 4 months is better than a kick in the pants eh ?!

Having listened to well-meaning mummies, and parenting books, all of whom have their own agendas, I am encouraged by some reading I did in the Good Book last night :
Proverbs 18:18
Discipline your son while there is hope,
And do not desire his death.
Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13
Do not hold back discipline from the child,
Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.

Sometimes you get so tired of "drawing the line" and telling them off. But reading this makes me see that I need to just persevere. And.. before you freak out and call the NSPCC try reading these in context - what the themes are, who wrote Proverbs, and why.

Congratulations - London & Mackay!

Huge congratulations to my cousin Christopher, Sarah and little Lucas on safe arrivals on the 29th of Dec. Chris, he looks like a real little bossie. Sarah - hope you're doing OK after the C-section honey. Take things easy if you can.

Congratulations to my mate Kim and her partner Nick on the birth of little Stanley - eagerly anticipated. Well done you two !

we love trains and cars

Zack is a typical boy - he just loves cars. He got a train set for Christmas from us, and is FINALLY learning to play by himself. It is a real help, as we've been trying to encourage it for ages.

chrissy

Calvin is making good progress and the current stage is staring intensely at his hands - "What are these things?" - he goes quite squint with the effort. He is full of smiles and giggles too, which makes for great relief from the toddler tantrums with his older brother. Only frustration in the last 24 hours has been his resistance to breast-feed. He went purple last night, crying, because mummy wanted him to take the breast and he was having none of it. It's annoying because the bottle is obviously easier to feed from, but if I don't keep up the feeding that'll be it. I am too tired to express milk every 3 hours.

For a little Festive Fun, we took Zack on the carousel at the O2 on Saturday night. Initially he wasn't sure about the motion of forward and up & down at the same time - we had just eaten dinner. But by the second or third revolution it was all smiles and waving at mummy and the camera. Of course it was, "Let's do it again!" when they got off.

Pineapple

Granny has gone home and we miss her alot. We had a lovely moment with Zack, when she'd been saying to him, "Zack you are my honey-bun, sugar-lump" and he responded with, "Granny, you are my pineapple". Aren't kids great ! ? !

Calvin is doing well, and getting heavier. His head's still quite wobbly, but he's getting some tummy time and I hope that'll remedy things. He is full of smiles and chatter, it's really cute to see his personality coming through now. He spends alot of time staring at his hands, and clasping them together.


Zack is as "spirited" and "lively" as ever. We had a helluvah weekend with him, and Keith and I were both pretty tired of his tantrums and bad behaviour by the end of it. How many times can a kid go to his room in one day ? But then yesterday (Monday) was great, and we played with his cars on the lounge carpet for most of the day - his current favourite activity - and we went for a haircut which he was very brave doing. He was most upset by the hair in his mouth, but by the end had a lolly in his hand (also with hair on it, but he didn't seem to care) and was marching determinedly out the door. He is putting prepositions into sentences now and it's made for even better conversations and role playing. When it comes to giving instructions (which Zack is very good at! LOL) it has changed things forever. We really do know where we stand now.