Och Aye Wee Laddie

Brushing teeth with the first brush we could get our hands on.

Our home in the Highlands for a few days in September - Gairloch

Zack and I catching up on some sleep after lunch.

Wonderful time with Pia & Geoff

We've just spent ten wet days in the Scottish Highlands. Zack made friends with man and wee beasties alike, and seems to have mastered a few new words. To the current vocabularly we can add,'Juice, Duck, Ladder, Down, Pughhghgghghg (the sound of a car crashing), Car, Bus'. It's amazing actually, how much he understands these days. His favourite of all time tho' is 'Car' - said with such conviction that it's hard not to respond. Bless his little socks.
New frustration mechanism is biting his own hand - usually the right one. So he has lots of marks on the top of his hand. Oh dear me.

He has so enjoyed the time with my mum - I discovered them in bed this morning reading Richard Scarry classics, with loads of pointing and "Car" exclamations.

This evening, sadly, is 'farewell Nanna'. It's all gone by so quickly.


Zack tells us all about Scotland from his guidebook

dream

I don't set alot of store by what I dream at night, but last night I had an odd one: I was sitting on a very blue & green mohair type rug with a friend of mine from PE, Fiona. We were having a long chat about life and kids, and then I noticed that someone had spilled, what looked like Calpol, on the rug. I rushed off and fetched a sponge and some soap and tried to get it out. It was really difficult (Mohair is so fibrous), and by the end of the dream I remember not being completely satisfied with the results.

meaning ?

Time, it's slipping, slipping

It's Monday night of the August Bank Holiday, which means that we don't have another break until Christmas. It usually feels like it's all downhill from here - rushing into autumn, then Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Whoosh! We've been blessed with some pretty impressive weather this weekend, after a week that amounted to nothing more than soggy drizzle and cold air. Yuck. So much for August being our month of summer redemption. It didn't happen, but perhaps this is a late fizz. I'm not complaining.

Keith's been away for 3 weeks out of the last 4 and it's been incredibly hard. I think that so often people pretend that they're coping so well with being a mum, and that their little darling is no effort at all. What a lie! On Thursday morning, I got up, changed Zack's nappy and then sobbed my heart out because it was so hard doing it alone. How do single mums cope?

We took him for his 2nd haircut on Saturday and I was sad to see him come home - my little toddler had gone, and come back a boy. I can now see how his head is growing and changing. I miss the lovely locks so won't be cutting it this short in a hurry.


He's demonstrating the early stages of an imagination which is charming... he walks his duck along the edge of the bath while having a long conversation with it, and we had to wrap the toy lamb up in a blanket on Wednesday. He understands so much of what we say and will now take instructions, eg. 'fetch x', 'put y', etc. But of course cannot understand when I say 'no touching' or 'leave y alone'. Heh heh, cute and smart to boot.

He is ever the talkative tot, and seems to enunciate his "bye bye"s more clearly each day. Bye-bye is being used on everyone and in every situation at the moment. Thankfully people are pretty accommodating and reciprocate with a wave and a 'bye bye' in return. We met up with Anokye and Ellie on Friday, and Anokye is moving ahead in leaps and bounds - he mimics everything Ellie says - which I think is amazing for a 16 and a half month old.


We went to Hyde Park to enjoy the sunshine and Zack loved all the people and the Diana Memorial fountain. It's a great spot with lots of fenced in space, the only negative is the stupid security guards walking around telling people not to stand on the fountain (which you have to do, so that you can put your feet in it - that's legal. Doh!), and not to walk in the water. Aargh! Only in England ! But, there's nothing like running water to entertain little people, so I'm sure we'll go again.

Zack is teething again, so it's back to nasty nappies, sore ears, Calpol and a temperature. I hope this tooth cuts quickly.
My mum arrives in a week's time, and I'm so chuffed that Zack is at a delightful stage in anticipation of her arrival. May it all go smoothly.

p.s. No news on the TV repair. I'll have to call again tomorrow.

Pee + electronics = the end

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Zack was running around the lounge without a nappy on before dinner because he has nasty nappy rash, and while I was in the bathroom sorting out laundry, our little fireman decided that he would take a leak on the hi-fi equipment. Usually if he takes a leak on the floor, there's the tell-tale puddle, but when I came into the lounge all I could smell was burning plastic. Sadly, the box with the most holes got it - the TV receiver. I unplugged all three boxes (TV, satellite and DVD player) and aired them, even turned the TV box upside down and left it for hours then used the hairdryer. But no luck - it is dead. So no TV for me this week while Keith's away. I'm going to be a real internet junkie & book reader.

And for your viewing pleasure... Zack and his new xylophone

the uncle is in the building

We picked Andy up from the airport this morning just after 8am, and then drove through to Esher to a wonderful spot for PYO - it's called Garson's Farm and they have acres of fresh fruit, veg and flowers to pick. All you have to do is turn up - the containers are provided. We picked a punnet full of raspberries and Zack must've eaten a heap more, indiscriminately. Sadly the blackberries were all ruined on the vine (not sure what got them), so we left with only broad beans and the raspberries.



Zack has taken to Andy with gusto - there are squeals of laughter and lots of hugs and attention. I was asked at bath-time : "What is too much splashing?". Which, I think, says it all.
Only downside at the moment is all the blowing of raspberries - very slobbery and the spit flies everywhere. Again - a thousand repetitions of 'no spitting'. Ho hum.
This afternoon we loaded Zack onto my bike, into his seat with helmet tightly fastened. I cycled while Andy ran, and Zack managed to stay awake for about 55% of the event. On the way home his head was lolling and he'd collapsed so much that his little helmet was rubbing on my seat as I peddled. It drew "ah bless" responses from watching motorists.

Ah Bless !

ps. Keith has bought more of the same shoes in NYC - in a bigger size. Next task is to get the young man a haircut. He is sorely in need of one.

Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud

We took ourselves off to Womad for the weekend. Yes, it had been raining, and yes it was very muddy. We slept in muddy clothes as there were very limited showering facilities. It's our first camping trip with young Zack and he seemed to cope quite well - it helped that there were lots of children to play with. We joined Dean & Emma Willars and their two girls, and friends of theirs James & Louisa with their 3, Frederick, Ozzy and Harriet. The only challenge was keeping Zack out of the food supplies. He thinks his appetite for fruit is insatiable, but I don't want to push it.

Big smiles as we're off daddy's shoulders. It's such fun running around in the dry mud and eating it!

"OK. So we've eaten our vegetarian lunch, and now I'm tired. I think I'll just nap right here".

Otherwise he is growing every day. He still has a hearty appetite (I think I've already mentioned that), is walking more confidently, expanding his vocabulary, and still biting and pinching out of frustration. He is FINALLY getting over his awful nappy rash. He loves books and The Gruffalo in particular.

Andrew & Geraldine have been visiting us from Sydney, with their two children, so Zack has had mates to play with every day for almost 3 weeks. A challenge for the parents who have to be referees most of the time.

I think it's time to go looking for new shoes. Dem feet, dey grow too quick!

here we go again !

Poor Zack. Now we're teething again and he's been a miserable little blighter. Mostly he's happy, adventurous and delightful, but with these teeth coming through he's suffering with all the side-effects. He has the worst nappy rash I've ever seen on him - welts on his bum - it's just horrid. I'm trying to use the 'fresh air' option as much as possible. But (and it's a big but) it's all about timing. I have to wait until he's poo'd, so that I don't have to clean that up, then it's off with the nappy and running around like a mad thing. Inevitably it ends in him pee'ing on something (the carpet, his toys, the floor), which ends the 'air time' and we're back in our nappy with the welts chaffing.
I thought things were improving yesterday, and then this morning I wanted to weep... they looked just hideously sore. He had more than an hour of fresh air while we picnicked in Greenwich Park this afternoon. That seems to have helped a bit. But he's got slightly upset, acidic poos which are not helping at all. Man Oh Man, what can a mum do ? I'm using barrier-cream at every nappy change, Bepanthen at the moment, as it's a new tube so very viscous. But it doesn't really assist with healing.

Poor little chap. I hope that this'll clear in the next 24 hours.

teething and more WARS

On Saturday we took Zack with us to the Star Wars Celebration Europe (read 'Star Wars convention'). It was such fun. Lots of people in full costume, including this chap who was a member of a polish storm trooper battalion, who we joined on the train. Pretty incredible stuff.

Zack is getting a new tooth. It's all by itself (no friends on either side) so I'm not sure what it is, but it's been sore and he's had a temperature on and off over the weekend. Poor little chap.

Other than that he is continuing to enjoy the freedom of walking by himself - we took him to the farm yesterday, and he just loved being able to go up to the fences and point at the animals. There was a narrow call with a chicken, but we escaped unscathed.

In the wars

** the website will be updated tonight.

Uh Oh...
the doctor wasn't wrong when he said that walking = head injuries. On friday Zack stumbled while pushing his way between two sofas. Whacked his head on a table corner - blood nose, nasty bruising, and a very unhappy boy. He'd scraped his knee on the asphalt on Thursday morning, which means that every time he falls over now (every minute or so), he's miserable because it hurts. AND he's teething again.

Yeeouch. It never stops, does it ?

summer holidays

We've had a glorious two weeks of sunshine in Croatia - 30˚C every day, with clear skies and a light breeze. One or two days of a cloud which is always welcome. Zack travelled well, and was kind to Keith and I yesterday in that he slept all the way home on the airplane, despite having woken at 5am. Blessed respite!

On the holiday we discovered how much we love balls, that ants are always in a hurry and we can squash them with our finger altho' this isn't intentional. Anything we find is good for eating (eeuuuwwww!), but best of all we like ice-cream when it's hot, and preferably all to ourselves. The world is still my best friend. I can now wave at everyone, and say 'bye bye' if I feel like it. I am not walking by myself, this is too much for me, I am only prepared to walk when attached to either mum or dad's finger. I am still biting out of frustration, and wailing when I get told off, or smacked for indulging my frustration by repeating the action. I love my Gruffalo book, and especially the frogs, the butterfly, the wood-pecker and the squirrels.

I am delighted to be home where I can climb all the stairs again, and play with my toys. My teeth have decided that this is the perfect moment to begin erupting, so I'm not sleeping too well at night. Poor mum & dad, they look shattered today !

MMR and progress

Yesterday was a big day - Zack had his last "shot" until he's 3 years old. The MMR jab, and the Pneumococcal jab were in each thigh (poor little chap), and he wailed until he noticed there were keys hanging from the doctor's drawer bureau. Aren't children funny ?
When we got home in the afternoon, Zack was holding the keys to the front door. He carefully pulled out the correct key in the bunch and handed it to me. Amazing child! I tell you (I know you've heard it before), but our child is a genius. A non-walking, gibberish-talking genius, but a genius nonetheless!!!

I see the telephone

I touch the telephone (even tho' I know I'm not supposed to)

I am most displeased for being told off for touching the telephone

V & D

I thought I'd seen pretty much all that a child could 'produce', and then Zack came down with gastro. We suspect it might have been the rota virus, but whatever the diagnosis, it is pretty disgusting. It began with vomiting on Friday night at 10pm and then we had diarrhoea for days on end, which seems to be abating today, finally. Poor little guy has been quite under the weather - subdued and listless. Can you blame him ?

You start getting desperate too. I know that the doctor and hospital will just send us home again because he doesn't have a fever, nor is he dehydrated. They want it to just run its course. So we did that - lots of fluids and monitoring. It isn't easy though. After yesterday I started wondering whether I should slip him an immodium, but the medical profession are dead against that. And then today, it seems to be a improving. He is full of beans and into everything again. Even attempting to walk a bit.

Life goes on tho' : we had a lovely lunch on the Bank Holiday with Frank & Aga, and my friends from the NCT, Amy & Matt, Trish & Shap. Two of Zack's little buddies joined us - Caitlin and Ruby. It was a good afternoon of hanging out without too much stress.

On the upside, Zack has been sleeping through the night over the last week, without waking up. Keith and I are so knackered, we've hardly noticed how much sleep we're getting. It's wonderful ! More of this please.

having a bit of fun on Uncle Frank's shoulders

If Zack was a pub...

he'd be called the Bite & Strop. Honestly, the way things are going at the moment, you'd think we were in the terrible twos already. Keith and I agree that there's been a very real change in his behaviour in the last month... He is so willful and will have a complete wobbly if he doesn't get his way on something. He is still hitting his head on the floor (or any other hard surface that presents itself), when he's frustrated. So much so, that Keith thinks there's something the matter with him. Daddy's can be completely obsessive too. It's exhausting. There is lots of literature about hitting your head - it's normal, esp. amongst boys.

Zack will bite me on my thigh when he's a klingon, on my neck or chest if I'm holding him - even when we're just playing on the carpet or sofa. He doesn't choose to understand "No Biting!", so we're going with the Thousand-Repetitions-School-of-Thought. I hope there'll be a peaceful little part of me left at the end of each day - right now I feel quite frazzled by the constant clash of wills.

And everyone says, "He's such a cute baby." Yeah! Right. Did I mention the biting ?

the itchy and scratchy show

Zack is in a new phase... he likes to pinch you when he's frustrated. And he's biting too, which is unpleasant. The question is : what to do to stop this behaviour ? I'm guessing it's a combination of frustration and teething. We'll need to manage it and be sensitive, because the temptation is to shout "no", and take a hard line. Many schools of thought, many different opinions.
In addition he's head-banging quite often, especially when he's tired or frustrated. He'll hit his head on anything sold (even my chest) and do it again and again, wailing all the time. He won't desist and the expression on his face says, 'mummy it's your fault this is sore'.

We can't talk, so we can't say what the problem is.

We have not been sleeping well at all. Zack has been up every few hours through the night. We're taking it in turn to get up and see to him, and yes, he was running a temperature yesterday and this morning - probably teething. I'm guessing it's a jet-lag/ body clock thing and he's got it all mixed up. He is going to bed on time, but he'll wake around 01h00 and wail, and then it starts sometimes up to every 2 hours. Exhausting. Thankfully we're staying with friends a the moment and there's enough space for Zack to be in his own bedroom, so the door will be shut tonight and baby will have to cry. Enough is enough.

7th tooth

Zack has been an absolute delight of late : in such a good mood in the mornings, playing by himself and paging through books, walking around on the zimmer (me). And today I looked in his mouth, and there was another tooth - bottom left. How exciting ! And he hasn't been too awful about it either... yes, he's not sleeping terribly well at the moment, but there you go.

mr & mrs zimmer

Zack is now well on the way to walking. He insists on being able to hold onto your hands and totter around the flat, the garden, the pavements, the shopping mall, so that he can look at what he wants to see. Keith and I feel like human zimmer frames, heh heh. It won't be long now and he'll be running around.

I am really looking forward to the time when he can stand on his own, but I'm aware that when they're so mobile, you have to keep your eye on them every minute of the day. I had an awful dream last night that Zack went missing. That feeling of dread inside you... I remember talking to the police and constantly looking at the space where he was, and he was gone. I got an email from Kelly recently about the Jamie Bulger case, and it's haunted me ever since. I can think of nothing more evil, and terrible to lose a child to some coniving criminal. It must be terrible to feel completely bereft and unable to fix it. I don't even want to think about what I would become in that situation. It isn't something to dwell on.

Zack is also becoming amazingly stroppy: asserting his will. I can see where the Terrible Twos stories start... he's on his way already. On the one hand it's frustration because he can't tell us what he wants, while on the other, he throws himself around when he can't have his way. Tough life being a toddler, but even tougher being a parent to a toddler.

you wouldn't say so from this photo though, would you ?

We were away on the weekend and it was lovely having the space to let him run around, but it was also really tiring as we had to watch him and 'zimmer' him alot, and he didn't sleep well in the nights AT ALL. So we were both feeling decidedly smashed on Sunday morning. I was counting down to sleeping in our own beds last night !
He travelled very well, and was content to just listen to us while we chatted on the way there (about 2 hours) and napped when he wanted to. It reminded me of those crazy trips I did with my mum to Norfolk, and Keith to Edinburgh when Zack was so small. I was off my head tackling all that !

still getting over myself

Have had a moment of insight : I do not need to worry about whether or not all the toys are accounted for. I think it's my personality type, but I do wonder every time I tidy (nightly) whether we've got all the components of each toy, as I can't always see them. I remember how annoyed I used to get as a child when something wasn't complete. Who wants to play with a toy that's missing a leg or a block or a wheel ? But to be fair, my plate is full of things to worry about and do, and spending any time at all on wondering where things the size of a plum or a grape are, is just a huge waste of time and energy. If they go missing, they're Zack's toys, not mine. If half the components are missing we'll just send the toy on it's way to the recycling bin.

I do not need to spend time on this.

Glückliche Ostern Kinder

Zack had an exotic Easter with a five day trip to Berlin. He was really very well behaved despite having to spend most of the days in his pram being pushed around, and not having much opportunity to crawl or cruise - it just isn't child-friendly being on the move. He was very obliging and slept in his pram when he was tired, and ate in it when there wasn't a high-chair. Eating was incredibly messy, the biggest being a meal in a lovely Asian-fusion restaurant where the floor was absolutely covered in rice and bits when we left, but for the most he was well behaved. He is currently surreptitiously dropping things over the edge of his high-chair, and this happens everywhere. A stern "No!" is delivered by mum and dad, but what effect it has is yet to be seen. Apparently this is another phase.


He is just delightful in the mornings – often waking up in a good mood, and oh-so chatty. New words are "ga-ga", and heaps more pointing being done. Little chuckles are emitted when we touch light-switches or whatever was being pointed at. He is eating more and more varied food – this weekend certainly tested that – which is a huge relief. He ate his first apple while we were there : on loan from his friend Emily. (Our friends in Berlin, Kev & Lisa, have a little girl of 2 and are expecting another in a few months time). It was fascinating to see two little people interacting. They were delighted to see one another, and distraught when it was home-time. So funny to see.

the Birthday Party

we had a joint birthday party with all the friends who turned one around the same time : Anokye, Caitlin and Ruby. It was a good turnout, and we were joined by family and friends. A lovely day and I think the kids enjoyed themselves immensely.


Anokye in his ceremonial outfit - too cute for words, and so photogenic.

Jackie & Alessio - growing at speed

Caitlin is already running, and there are just a few days between her and Zack.

Now we are ONE

Zack turned 1 yesterday. A momentous occasion but celebrated with very little fuss other than phone-calls, sms's and emails from friends and family. I made cupcakes for his friends at nursery today (Monday 26th), and the winning recipe is Martha Stewart's Vanilla Cupcake recipe.


Yes, yes, you're all wondering what he got ? . . . well, he got a few books, some pairs of socks, clothes, a toy mobile phone (we kid ourselves that it'll replace his fascination with the TV remote – it does not), a puzzle, aftershave (only kidding), a toy elephant and lots of wrapping paper. He enjoyed singing "Happy Birthday", and soon learnt to clap along when anyone sang it to him.
He had ice-cream for the first time on Saturday at his friend Sonny's naming ceremony. Initially he pulled faces, but once the coldness had passed he was eager for more and more and more. The sugar-rush kicked in about 20 mins later. Yeouch !
We still have the birthday party on Sunday 1 April to look forward to, so the cupcakes today were a bit of a test-run. Due to their success, there will be an encore.

a bit of beauty in the general

My aunt sent me this poem in an email, and she is a mother to four sons. Real food for thought, for my attitudes, for my use of time.

TO MY CHILD

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face
and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear
and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry
and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink
and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone
and keep the computer off
and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble,
when you scream and whine for ice cream
and I will buy one if the ice cream truck comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won’t worry about what you are going to be
when you grow up or second guess every decision
I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald’s
and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story
about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up a late
while we sit on the porch and count all the stars
Just for this evening when I run my fingers through your hair as you pray,
I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching
for their missing children,
the mothers and feathers who are visiting their children’s graves
instead of their bedrooms,
and the mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms
watching their children suffer senselessly
and screaming inside that they can’s handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you goodnight, I will hold you a little tighter, a little
longer. It is then that I will thank God for you
and ask him for nothing except one more day ….

-- Anonymous

inside, outside, upside down

Yesterday Zack leant on his little baby walker and took a few tentative steps across the lounge. By the time Keith and I had found and fired up the vidcam, he wasn't interested in playing ball, and only wanted to have a howl. Today however, he eagerly pushed his walker around AND took our dustbin (Zack's waist height) and pushed it all over the kitchen. I think he's got the walking idea down pat, and it's just been a natural progression. So easy and he's just getting on with it in his own time. He is still a bit of a klingon, but Keith and I are in for the high jump when he starts walking around.

He is too cute when it comes to hunting for "lost" toys and bits - very often under the sofa. He'll hunker down and take a long hard look and see if he can see "it", and then crawl over at speed and streeeetttccchhhhh to reach the missing ball et al. What a delight !

More words, sadly I confess the word "no" is starting to come to the fore. It arrives in the form, "Nononononono". Altho' I like to think that it doesn't actually mean, "no" - it's just another form of protestation. It's all punctuated with "mamamama", "day-day-day-day" and "bababababa", so who knows ? ! ! !

Happy Red Nose day everyone.

Please support Democracy in Zimbabwe. Personally I am very relieved to see that Mr Tsvangirai is out of ICU and back to opposing R Mugabe.

no more war

yippee. for some inexplicable reason our little boy has finally given up on World War Three when we have to change his nappy. For months now (it feels like most of his life, but it's probably only been the past 6 months), he has fought having his nappy changed. Suddenly, he is all compliant, relaxed, I'd even go so far as to put words in his mouth.. "Go ahead, get the job done, I'm just gonna lie here and wait for you to finish." Understandably we are very relieved, it was just so stressful, particularly if we were out and about.

Zack, poor chap, is still teething with gusto. He's been running a temperature for the last two days and was decidedly subdued last night and this morning. He has now got two tiny teeth sticking out of the gums at the top, which I think have been the cause of all the pain and unhappiness. Hopefully he'll be back to his usual self again soon.

We're OK and growing

Zack is doing well - growing every day, saying more (nothing recognisable tho'), getting around faster, asserting his will, eating almost anything, smiling and giggling more. It's just delightful!

We love him to bits - he's a delight.

planning planning

We are now in the throes of organising Zack's first birthday party. Ahem, we'd planned something small, but have decided to do a joint party with two or three friends, so there'll be a hoard of little 'uns, lots of hovering mums and dads and hopefully a crazy afternoon. Whew! I need to lie down just thinking about it.
The venue is sorted, and we're going to have it at noon as that suits most little people's schedules. It's going to be so strange seeing all the 'newborns' of last year as little people. I'm quite looking forward to it. Keith has bought another lens so I'm sure he's counting the days and charging his batteries !


Zack wearing his Guns 'n Roses shirt - a gift from uncle Corné and aunty René (is it just me, or is he looking more and more like a little boy ?)


Visiting Trish's house for delicious tea and cake !
Our babes tucked into a bowl of raisins : currently in Ruby's hands.



We thought we'd take them all outside for a photo, but co-ordinating 4 little people proved to be quite a challenge. even getting them all to look in the same direction was a feat. Zack looked horrid with his long face, and red cheeks. Poor little tyke, I do hope the teeth make a show soon.

Unite against Mushy Food !

Zack has turned a corner - altho it may be part of his latest wingy, diaroeaHHHH, I hate having my nappy changed, phase. Anyway, he just won't eat mushy food anymore. I think he's campaigning to get me to move forward in the diet thang. "Enough of the mush mum!", watch me press my lips together and turn my face away coz I'm not interested.

It's not a bad thing. Us adults can be pretty thick or pretty lazy when it comes to understanding what these little people are ready for. I think I probably fall into both categories as it's so easy to pull some stuff out of a bottle, add some nice fresh veg or a piece or two of chicken and voila! a delicious mushy meal. Not so.

he's growing up!

dah - ee

Our child is a genius !!!

Yeah, you've heard every parent say it. But Zack is a genius. Today while we were packing Keith's bags for New York, we were looking at all the photos on the bedside shelves. There is one of Keith and his sister Sally. I said, "Daddy, Aunty Sally" - pointing at each in turn. Then Keith said, "Daddy", and Zack said, "Dah-ee", and then a second time. Of course we leapt around like mad things, hugging and shouting, "DADDY!, DADDY!", much to Zack's amusement. He is a genius I tell you!

without mum

Zack started the settling in process at our local nursery school today. We were there from 9:45am - 11:15am. I was full of bravado on the weekend, thinking "this will be easy", and turning up was the easy part. Sitting in the parent's room for 2 and a half hours listening to Zack and filling in forms made me feel awfully weepy. We haven't been apart (except for a bit of babysitting) much at all since his birth, and it's all so hard for me. I know it's what I want, I know he's ready for it and he will love it, but that doesn't help the strong feelings of "Am I doing the right thing ?" and "is this too soon ?". It'll get easier I know (all the friends have told me), but right now it all seems a bit hard.

Today he learnt to twist the dial on his toy radio. He can now make the music play without my help. Another moment of independence dawns.

tenmonthklingonsleepingthru-ish

Yeah! Can you believe the little guy is ten months old ? Just remarkable.

Things have been pretty hectic of late - back to back colds, getting bullied at mum&tot group, feeling awfully wingy, Ai-Oh Ai-Oh... it certainly is a full time job. I've been thinking about the unusual situation we're in: parenting in London, no immediate family nearby, being home with Zack at ten months, so what exactly was the plan ? Hmmm... right now, I'm hoping he'll be able to go into nursery from the beginning of February. It'll only be 2 days a week, but it will be a good break for me. I've been on deadline this week, and it's been very hard having a wee lad around, nevermind the professional issues. So many decisions to make about their well-being and development. I can see that he's bored with his toys at home, but I don't want to buy more. I don't want him to be another one of those spoilt kids with a houseful of toys. Nor do I want to go to the extreme where he only gets one toy to play with at a time. He misses the social interaction on days when we're at home all day - which has been often of late, what with colds and flu, and running a temperature. Gotta find a balance.

He's still eating well, and his sleeping is improving. He seems to have dropped his 11pm wake for water. It took us more than a month, but I think he has the message. The problem of course is that he is now waking at 4am - thirsty. They keep you on the hop! Three nights ago he woke up at about 12:30am and would not go back to sleep. We tried everything - changing him, cuddling him, giving him his dummy - but every time we put him back down he started to howl. It was evidently not pain (otherwise he'd cry all the time), so we were stumped. In the end we had to leave him to cry himself to sleep. It was the beginning of what has become a pattern of klingy-ness. He's never been like this before - he now cries every time I leave the room. It's exhausting. Try and do some freelance work on deadline in this situation ! Impossible. Tonight he was running a temp, so perhaps it's just teething. Haven't we heard that one before? No teeth visible beneath the gums so I'm not counting on it. It's just another phase I guess. What comfort, sheesh.

We are finally up to date on our immunisations, but the last two left big bruises on his thighs, and big lumps under the skin. I believe that immunisation is necessary, and that all children should participate in the national immunisation scheme. Just talking to a friend about polio in Africa, showed me the import of mass subscription. So despite some of the more "touchy-feely" objections, I think it's essential. And we will continue in this vein.

too much tellie ?

Should you let your infant watch television ? Everyone starts out with fixed ideas on television consumption, and things tend to go awry from birth +
I didn't really think very hard about the issue. My parents let us watch one TV show when we were 6 years old (that's when tellie started in good ol' SA), and it was Rupert the Bear. Most of my television watching was monitored and restricted to certain times. On the other hand, I never watched much TV before I had a baby. Then I was up at all sorts of crazy hours, breastfeeding for 45 minutes at a stretch. Mind-numbingly dull. I'd pop on the tellie and watch the episodes of Countdown that I'd missed, and catch up on the news (Hell, there was a world outside my front door). Now that Zack is nearly a year, I notice that I flick the TV on at around 5pm, and we drift on through Zack's dinner until Keith gets home for bath-time. Some afternoons we even watch Lazytown earlier than that. It sounds like some sort of [blush] confession, which of course it is.
I think my biggest concern is that I'll be slack and not always watch what's on the box. I really want to preserve Zack's innocence and there IS alot of crap on TV in 2007. The broadcasters can't be trusted to make good choices, so you have to.
Many of my more responsible friends only allow their children to watch DVDs. I suppose that's the most controlled option. At least you know what's going in, AND you avoid the commercials. I don't want Zack sucked into the competitive world of toy shopping just yet.
It's so easy to just opt out and drift along without a plan, but I need to have one in place for the next few years. At least until he's more conscious and discerning. Probably another 12 years then ?!

Thank God for baby sitters !

Keith and I went out alone last night. We went out to dinner, nothing too crazy. We had a lovely stroll along the Thames, and then dinner in Tooley Street, near London Bridge at a nice little restaurant that's just opened. Zack was looked after by the lovely Emilia, our new baby sitter. She is Polish and will be doing a regular baby-sitting job for us from here on out (I really hope this lasts). She is very sweet, and has been an au-pair in the USA for the last 2 years, so has some experience.

To be able to go out together and just talk about us, the future, etc. without worrying about where Zack is, what he's up to, if he's sleeping... cannot be underestimated! I know she'll call if there's a problem, so No News is Good News.

We were home just after 11pm. All's well.

3 bugs in 2 weeks

Poor little guy (and he can't even blame it on day care!). Zack is now down with conjunctivitis, and an incredibly stuffy nose. On Saturday night he had a raging temperature and I was wondering what was going on...
And all this followed shortly on the heels of what I think was Hand, Foot and Mouth - he had little blisters on his hands, feet and definitely all around his groin. I couldn't see inside his mouth, but I'm guessing from the complete lack of appetite that he had a sore mouth too.


It is just heart-wrenching to see him in such a dull and dreary mood. No smiles, and far less energy than usual. This afternoon, I tried to feed him lunch at the usual time and he was so tired that he just sat there with his eyes closed opening his mouth every now and then for food. Without finishing he fell asleep in the chair.

Happy Birthday Blog !

Today we are one year old! I stand in our lounge and look at the toys scattered around the floor, thinking that later on I'll be down on my hands and knees pulling coloured balls and small cars out from underneath the sofa, under the christmas tree, and packing it all neatly under the telly, so that we can take it all out and play with it again tomorrow. Who would have thought that we'd be at this point so soon ?

"Happy Birthday to you
You live in a zoo
You look like a monkey...."
yeah yeah, I do. it must be the lack of sleep, extra weight I gained over Xmas and the emotional dysfunction. Oh, sorry... it's Happy Birthday to the Blog. Okay, here goes :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG

I have a confession to make - this blog started out as a "rant" much further back. It focused alot on my anger and frustration at not being able to conceive a baby, at having lost a baby at 13 weeks, at generally being pissed off at a lot of things that I couldn't control / mend. I deleted the lot when I decided to change it to a record of my first pregnancy and the challenges of being a parent. Ah well, that's how things go.

Not the most upbeat entry, but it needed to be entered. Done, tick.

Pretty please Zeeeee

Zack is happily recovered from his bronchiolitis, and although Keith had a mild infection, he's kicked it too. Just mummy who's down with the colds and sinusitis. Not sure why, but he had a really aweful night last night. The guessing game starts again... is it teeth ? is it pain ? Just don't know. At 2am though, both mum and dad are saying "Pretty please Zack, please go to sleep! Puhleeeeez."

Woof

Zack is as sick as a dawg. Poor little guy. He's picked up a bug called "Bronchiolitis" and it landed us in A & E last Friday. We were there from 5 - 9pm and we came home with what looks like an asthma pump with a ventilating chamber (altho the registrar did say that he didn't think it would make much of a difference - they'd already administered it without any success). The equipment didn't alleviate any symptoms and we have't had much sleep this week. Keith and I are both starting to come down with it now - sore throat, stuffy head and tearing eyes. Daddy's been working very hard, and mummy feels a bit thin on the ground, resentful and tired. Ah, the joys of parenthood eh ?

Fat Duck Poo

Oh boy! Zack strikes again. My cousin graciously invited us to a celebratory lunch at the world's best restaurant yesterday : The Fat Duck in Bray.
We're sitting down, enjoying a lovely glass of chilled champagne, and I get a whiff of something which smells awfully like Zack. I lean over to see and sure enough, it is oozing out the top of his trousers! In the Fat Duck! Sometimes I think I'm doomed to one exasperating and embarassing moment of fecal revoltingness, after another.

Oh, and by the way, I'm still supporting Pampers nappies. You'd think they'd get some sort of performance appraisal at this time of year ? ! !

competitiveness and discipline

I am soooo not a competitive person, and have relished all these years out of school and university. I never did enjoy all that "lowest common denominator" stuff, it's just so tedious. But here I am, mother of a small, fast-growing son, and all around me is "when did he do that?" and "how much does he weigh?", and "are you back into your pre-pregnancy clothes?". When did this all turn into a competition? I'm just grateful that he's healthy, has all his faculties, everything is where is should be.

I took a break from writing this to go to the loo, where I picked up Waitrose's new mag - Source - and the first article I read tackles exactly this... Fiona Gibson writes ..."Let's be realistic : I'm 41 with a body that's been through two pregnancies, including six-pound twins. It would be unreasonable, surely, to expect my stomach to resemble a slab of MDF. My small cluster of sensible brain cells says,' No, you're not one of the endless bevy of footballers' wives who go skinny-malinky approximately nine seconds after giving birth, and why would you be?..."

Well put sister!

The glaringly omission is how few mothers ask the more important questions, like "How well behaved is your child ?", and "How are you getting on with discipline ?". It does amaze me that in an era of "Super Nanny" and more discipline resources than you can poke a stick at, so few parents tackle this extremely important issue. Yeah, yeah, we're all going to do it differently, but let's face it, if we don't discipline our children, they turn into unholy terrors - unpleasant to be around, they'll get avoided on the birthday party circuit, teacher's will raise their eye-brows when your little angel's name gets mentioned, and (WAKEY WAKEY) your mates are going to be pushed to spend too much time with you, other than at your house where YOUR kids can trash YOUR place. There's a huge knock on here.


I am so grateful to Tim & Jacqui for the delightful Quinton Blake book they gave us before Zack was born : the Zagazoo. Oh, I do hope he turns out to be the delightful young man in 20 years time.

the Gonz is come

(these photos were uploaded 2 days after Alessio was born, so to answer all the questions I've had, Jackie didn't have him at home)

Jackie and Claudio are the proud parents of a baby boy - Alessio - born this evening at 7:10pm ! wonderful news.

and it's crawlin'

We've been rockin', we've been rollin', but we ain't crawled yet....


Until today.



At exactly 15h50 - just as I was about to head out and leave Zee with my mum for an hour, he decided to take his first tentative handprints forward. It wasn't much, altho' we'd been anticipating it, so had camera at the ready. Here it is recorded for posterity (and for dad, in the UK).

closing moments : SA

Our relaxing and sunny holiday in South Africa is drawing to a close. Tomorrow is Monday and that means we have only four days left until departure. Zack continues to grow and progress - all so rapidly it seems. He is grasping more and more carefully (he is such a boy though, and won't do the fine fingered pinching unless his smash and grab technique has failed repeatedly), his "crawling" is coming on well with movement backwards and sideways in both directions. He can also roll forward from seated to crawling position, which means that he can reach for things that were previously out of reach.

He is getting braver with his eating - fruit and veggies are put away with ease, and dad has fed him a potato chip (much to my dismay, but that's life). I have given him a few crusts of bread to gnaw on (again, I'm sad that I capitulated, as I'd hoped to stave it off until 12 months), so our hurdles are now protein, fish in particular, and then dairy in 4 months time. He is a good size though (oh so heavy I'm finding) so he may make the transition sooner - I'll talk to the mates and hear what they say.

He has certainly found his voice, as "shrieking while we play" is now common, and he knows how to "freak out" when he wants something badly enough. Oh, the joys of discipline and learning to say "No" firmly. He thinks "no" is a game sometimes, which defeats the exercise.