the ordeal

Sometimes it's important to tell your story. I've found that listening to other women's experiences of birth has been both cathartic and restorative. The aim of this account is probably the former (at this point in time), with hopefully the latter's benefits.
At the outset, I'd also advise people who haven't given birth, not to read the account. I'm almost certain that what I've been through is NOT the run-of-the-mill birth experience, and I don't want to freak you out – God knows how hard I found it the first time 'round with Zack and people were warning me of 5 days of labour and all the associated horrors. You don't need to know until you've been through your own experience. Then it's just good for comparisons!

How it all started :
I've been writing about this low lying placenta issue for some time now, so you probably have an idea of what's entailed. So I'd been comforting myself with the thought that I hadn't had any bleeding and this was a GOOD sign. As it turned out, on Wednesday morning, I got out of bed, went to the loo, and discovered that I'd started bleeding. Keith drove me through to the hospital - The Royal London, (yes, the one I was afraid of going to) - and we were admitted to the labour ward. We were seen by an obstetrician who advised me to stay on for 24 hours of observation as she said small bleeds like this one, were often followed by more severe bleeding. As things turned out, she was right. This first bleed - the "herald bleed" - was the beginning of my placenta and uterus parting company. I spent the rest of Wednesday flat on my back in the ante-natal ward bed with an IV in my arm, just in case. Our first night was blissfully quiet, and I slept better than I had in weeks.

Thursday, more bleeding :
On Thursday morning, feeling decidedly grubby and desperately in need of some shampoo, I psyched myself up for a shower. I got myself into the communal bathroom, put out all the toiletries and clean clothes, and then there was a huge gush of blood. The scary thing was that I couldn't stop it, just like when your waters break, it just came rushing out, and there was no accompanying pain. After cleaning myself up, I went in search of a midwife and politely said that I'd had a 'big bleed'. Looking back, this is laughable - how terribly polite and British of me ! I should've run out into the hallway, starkers, screaming "I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding" (sob, sob). I always go dead calm in a crisis... not always the best reaction.
After that it was more observation back in the labour ward, and listening to baby's heartbeat on the CTG. I certainly got my fill of CTG's on this hospital stay – regular as clockwork ! Baby continued on his steady path, so no concerns there, and my uterus wasn't showing any regular contractions so we weren't in early labour. This meant I was back to the ante-natal ward for observation.
Thursday night was crazy – there were 18 women labouring through the night, and a woman opposite me who had the lowest pain threshold (screaming for Allah, dilated 1cm and wouldn't take any pain relief) which wasn't helped by her mother and mother-in-law being at the bedside, or the fact that she would not go for a walk to help things along. Sheesh!

Friday and all's well :
Friday morning I befriended a fellow patient, a New Yorker, who'd been admitted at about 3am. She was just hilarious, and kept us amused recounting tales of the previous night and her own pregnancy experiences - it did alot to buoy my spirits. Friday passed quietly, and Keith and Zack visited in the evening (Zack with a huge shiner from falling off his scooter). One of the midwives took the time to come and talk to me about placenta praevia, and warned me against any thoughts of going home. I had been longing to get a "day pass" on Sunday so that we could go to Alessio's Christening in Surbiton - Keith and I are God-parents. But it wasn't to be.
As she explained, the situation I was in, was very high risk: I could begin to hemorrhage at any moment. I could not afford to be away from a delivery suite or operating theatre, that's how serious it was. They had already matched 4 units of blood for me, should the need arise. She really put the wind up me with this frank discussion and I decided that it was best to let the medical profession take over. Earlier in the day, the consultant had booked me in for a Caesarean Section for the following Thursday, as baby would've been 38 weeks then.

Saturday :
Saturday was also quiet, with friends popping in for a visit in the afternoon. This was the first time I'd actually sat up (in a chair) in 3 days, and I sat for more than 2 hours chatting to them. They left in the late afternoon, and at about 6:30pm the NY mate was packing up and about to be discharged - I stood up to say goodbye. Suddenly it was all systems go - my body started pouring blood onto the floor. I called for a midwife, carefully took off my slippers and gown, grabbed my cellphone, and was ordered into a wheelchair. As they pushed me through to the labour ward, I rang Keith, who'd only recently gone home to give Zack dinner, and said that I was gushing blood and was almost certainly going into theatre.
He dropped Zack off with Greg & Charlie, and rushed over.

The big event:
Again, things happen in slow motion in your memory, and I remember having to get onto a bed in the labour ward, and there just being blood, blood, blood. I couldn't stop it, and it didn't hurt at all. I was calm. People were running and shouting, and I was following instructions. I was pushed through into theatre, and lifted onto a narrow gurney (maybe it was the operating table). People were monitoring the baby's heartbeat, and my arms were out on supports. Keith turned up at this point, and I was so relieved to see him. The anesthetist was trying to find another vein in my arm, but was so stressed out. He tried twice in my left wrist and failed, and then twice in the right wrist. Thankfully that fourth attempt succeeded, but by then I was ready to shout at him to calm down. I was dead calm thinking "I wonder what it feels like to bleed out", "I wonder what'll happen if I die now?", "What about Keith?", "What about Zack?". Keith was looking quite pale and went to sit down in a corner. I could feel the blood just pouring out, more and more. Midwives were wiping it up. I asked who'd be doing the cutting and the stitching and a woman came forward – I explained to her that I keloid really badly and would appreciate it if she could sew me back up nicely. She said that I wasn't to worry, that she'd take special care in doing so. That's what I needed to hear - someone who was calm and unmoved by the panic going on around me.
The anesthetist asked me to roll onto my side and and curl up as much as I could, so that he could try and do the spinal block (local anesthetic for C-Section). This is pretty hard when you're so far gone (37 weeks pregnant), and I found that the more I tried to curl up on the narrow table, the worse the bleeding got - I could literally feel it squelching out with every movement I made. Keith said it was pouring onto the floor, so I guess it had got beyond bad. They decided the hemorrhaging was severe and the only path was a general anesthetic. And so it was that I put the oxygen mask on, said goodbye to Keith, and started counting while I felt them swab my abdomen with iodine and then the coolness of it being poured over me. And then I slept, a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

(more to come)

Congratulations : Singapore

Welcome to little James Ryan de Oude, born yesterday evening, to Walt & Cindy. Well done Cindy, we're so pleased the wait is over !

Calvin Richard Guthrie arrives

My placenta and uterus parted company on Saturday evening and I was rushed into theatre for an emergency C-section. Stats : weight 2.5kgs (6lbs); born at 19h31. It was pretty traumatic, and I'll put a more comprehensive report on the blog in the coming days, but for now, enjoy the pics and the good news that our baby boy is safely here, and his mum is making steady progress. Whew ! What an ordeal.

Congratulations : Enfield

Timothy holds his baby sister

Richard & Jenny had a safe and relatively quick delivery with their second - a bouncing baby girl, Hannah Megan. Well done Jenny !!

Congratulations : Sydney

Awesome news : my dear friends Geraldine & Andrew in Sydney, Australia, had their baby girl yesterday afternoon. Andrew delivered her in the car park of the hospital because she was in such a hurry to get here. Geraldine and baby are both fine and resting up. Good job, the Dad, we are well impressed!

standing still

Keith and Zack cavort on Tina's lawn in the sunshine

It's a long weekend here in the UK, and I decided that I'd had enough of the waiting game... and took myself off to the Birthing Centre today at noon to talk to the midwife about the scan results. They were in the middle of two complicated deliveries so asked me to return at 6pm.
Once there, the midwife was happy to listen to my concerns, looked over the notes and scan results, and said that what was written was inconclusive and unclear. Not only that, but the scan printouts that were included do not indicate clearly where the placenta ends and the cervix begins - there are no measurements, there are just two labels - "Placenta" and "Cervix/Os". What's the point of that ? If we don't know that the placenta is 1cm, 2cm, 3cm from the cervix, we don't know anything. It's all just annoyingly vague.
So now we're back to square one : I don't know if I'm at risk. I don't know if I'm in line for a c-section. I don't know if I'm allowed to still have the baby at the Barkantine Birthing Centre if everything is OK. One things for certain though, the midwife said if I go into labour in the next week, I should go straight to the hospital rather than going to the Birthing Centre. How gloomy !
My plan of action is to try and get an appointment with a consultant at the Royal London and/or St Guy's & St Thomas' (near London Bridge) in the next few days, so that we can get the wheels turning. Both Keith and I feel that waiting around for the sonographer to blow the whistle on placenta praevia (on Friday 29th Aug), only brings us a week closer to the inevitable and consequently fewer options.
Wish me luck !

A good week

Zack is much better after a week of Amoxycilin, and has been quite delightful these past few days. Keith's managed to come home earlier than usual, which has also been a big help.

We had our 36 week scan yesterday morning and there was good news : baby's head has engaged, and we are facing the right way for "the exit". The sonographer managed to get this rather sweet 'shadow' view of the baby's face, and what is his hand (looks like an odd jewel resting against his chin). We also had confirmation that he is still a boy - in case anyone thought there was a mistake on the first take.
Only problem now - and it's something I have NO control over - is that the placenta continues to be low lying (placenta praevia). This means that the placenta is actually covering the opening of the cervix, so there would be severe bleeding if I went into natural labour. They've decided I can have another week to see if it changes, but after that I will have to have a c-section.

I have mixed feelings about it all. On the one hand, I'm relaxed because the medical profession have experience in these things, and know what to do for both mum & baby's safety. I am fearful of c-section recovery times though, as I've only heard bad news - most people take months if not a year to recover fully from it. How am I going to cope with a 19 kg toddler, a pram that needs to be lifted in and out of the car, etc etc? I just can't. Hmmm...

I'm also a bit sad to not have the use of the new birthing centre. It would be great to have the baby there. What a pity ! And the alternative - having the baby at the Royal London, is not exactly a fair trade... the place is a HOLE. I feel more and more negative about going there with every article I read, and every conversation I have. All I hear is about how TERRIBLE the after-birth care is. And this is at a time when I'm going to need it most. What can I do ?

It never rains...

What a week ! With Keith away in the States and Kelly (our regular baby-sitter) on holiday it was one crazy, full on, 24hours a day week. Zack came down with a temperature on Wednesday evening - wouldn't eat and was burning up - we were up every 45 minutes thru the night. He seemed better on Thursday and then the temperature came and went over the weekend. Keith got back on Saturday morning, and Saturday night I managed to get a few extra hours of solid sleep. By Monday morning Zack wasn't any better, so we headed down to the doctor's for a look-see. As it turns out he has an ear-infection. I had expected to hear viral-'something', but hadn't guessed it was his ears. He isn't on antibiotics yet, just paracetamol 6-hourly, so we're hoping he'll fight it off himself. He did a lot of sweating last night, so his immune system is fighting hard - this all a good thing. He still isn't eating much tho', which makes any parent worry.
Kelly came back from her holiday with the news that she's going to be a full-time nanny for a family and can't baby-sit for us anymore. She's been baby-sitting Zack for more than a year - before he could walk. I'm sad for Zack as he could do with some continuity when his baby brother comes along, and he asked me yesterday when we'd be seeing Kelly next ? It drives home the relational bond that's developed between the two of them. But I can't expect Kelly to stay on forever - she needs to make decisions about her life, and move forward with her career. I know she's had to give this a lot of thought. Yes, the timing isn't the best (then I ask myself: when is it?), but my mum will be here in September to give Zack extra attention, so that'll be a good thing. It will give us a window to find a new baby-sitter and possibly a nanny too (hopefully one and the same if I can organise it). That'll really help me with the workload and my ability to cope from week-to-week.

Ggrrrrr.....

Bloody NHS !
I saw the midwife a week ago, and she seemed concerned that the baby was 'breech' at this point in time. I'm not overly concerned because in my mind there still seems to be oodles of time for it to turn (and I have placenta previa - tho' mildly so). To the point tho' : she wanted me to go for an urgent scan to make sure all is well. Fine ! I have the scan request in my hands - a copy of which was sent to the ultrasound dept. It has now been a week and I've heard nothing. I actually have a scan booked for 2 weeks time (standard procedure - 36 weeks), so again, I'm not freaking out. What makes me mad tho' is the whole attitude of the medical profession here : it's not my problem ! I rang up the midwives today and explained it all, and asked if I should chase it. 'Yes,' says she, 'here's the phone number.' Basically - she can't be bothered, and unless I'm in labour, the baby is in distress or I'm bleeding to death, that's it. So why all the concern in the first place ? Why bother if no-one else is going to bother ? It all reeks of box-ticking to me (ie. if anything goes wrong, they can say they did what they could, and the hospital failed to follow-up).
My options at this point:
1. push for this scan as soon as
2. call the midwife and make her do the phoning (and her job)
3. leave it and go for my 36 week scan

I'm struck that in this day and age, most obstetricians have no experience in dealing with breech births because the "easy option" of a c-section is always there. Why try and do it the hard way, when you can just slice ? Their answer is the hippocratic oath - risk to mother and child. They don't need the experience, because statistics have told them that c-sections are safer. The only problem there is that, out of fear, I might get booked in for a c-section, and then the baby turns in time for natural delivery (and shorter recovery period by the way). On this point tho', I'm hoping the baby will turn before we get to D-day with c-sections.
I could try and give it a bit of help too.... tho' some of this stuff sounds laughable. Clothes peg anyone ?

There's so much info, and support on the 'net which backs up my gut-feel to let things go until 38 weeks, I don't see the point of freaking out and trying to intervene too soon. I guess that means : Watch this Space!

ps. my neighbour returned home within 24 hours and is doing fine. There doesn't seem to be any complications with her pregnancy. Thank the Lord !

Wow! News :
I'm letting all these frustrations eclipse an extremely important moment in the mother-child bond. Zack said, "I love you mommy" for the very first time today. Un-initiated and accompanied by a hug.

Spare a thought

Last night around 10pm my neighbour rang our buzzer to say that she needed to go to the hospital. She's a GP and 25 weeks pregnant (her first). Her husband, also a doctor, is currently abroad, so she's alone. She had been having bad abdominal cramps for 2 - 3 hours, and felt she couldn't ignore them anymore. My heart went out to her. We waited for the ambulance but it didn't show up – and in the end I called a cab, and he was here in 4 minutes. Her mum-in-law had arrived from Wimbledon to be with her, so they left together.
Keith is currently in the USA, for the remainder of this week, and altho' we had discussed an emergency plan (just in case), it really brought it home to me last night. What would I need to do ?

Please say a prayer for my neighbour – I hope she's OK as I've no word yet.

photo for posterity

/
I was very 'on the ball' with Zack and felt I really aught to make an effort and take some "belly shots" with this pregnancy too. The time just flies, and before you know it, you haven't done anything and you're having a baby and your belly is gone! So here it is : the 33 week photo.

Congratulations : Boston

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Little Sadie Elaine Janks finally made an appearance on Thurs afternoon, much to Greg & Sonia's relief. Isn't she just beautiful ! ? !

surrogate substitute take II

To answer Harley's questions : at the moment the doll has no name. We've just referred to him as 'baby brother' (I suppose the blue clothing and plastic anatomy is a give-away). I'm guessing that when his real baby brother makes an appearance, he'll supercede this doll. Altho' we have no intention of throwing it away, or hiding it. We'll see how Zack copes and what he decides to do with it. At the moment he is quite obsessed with 'ownership', telling me "Mummy, that's not yours" (referring to anything in particular). So he might decide that the doll belongs to him, and I'll be informed that the doll baby brother is "not yours mommy!". I don't mind.
It's really a teaching and transition tool - so we're using it to show him how to hold baby properly, that we can't lie on top of it. Zack shares things with it without being asked - I caught him feeding it grapes a few days ago. It sits on the bed while he's bathing. He sleeps in the same room as Zack, in his own bed - not in Zack's bed. So I think he's getting the message.
The doll's robust enough to go in the bath, and can be fed liquids and solids (with nappy to boot), but I don't intend to go that route. It'll be enough that it goes in the water. We can pretend the rest - an opportunity for imagination time.

Congratulations : London & Mackay

Congratulations to Phong & Derek who had a baby boy, Daniel, last night.
And also to my cousin Christopher & his wife Sarah in Queensland, Aus, who had their scan and are expecting a baby boy early next year. Such wonderful news.

surrogate substitute

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following a good friend's example we have bought a doll to introduce the concept of the "baby brother" to Zack. So far - so good.

a light aside

I hope no-one takes this cartoon overly seriously, I found it amusing in the context of parenting.

single digits

And so the time slips away... it's only 9 weeks and 4 days to go now. We had a routine midwife check-up on Saturday morning. Nothing to report. Blood tests came back fine - iron slightly low, but that's to be expected. I'm full of the moans and groans of the heavily pregnant: swollen ankles, hip ache, heartburn, reflux, exhaustion, lack of sleep, blah blah blah. Thankfully these things are only for a time, and then it'll all be over.
We're making some headway on names. The spreadsheet was pulled out last night and we made a list of about 100 names that we both felt could contend. So now we have a top 10 of options. This means that we at least have a plan, even if we change our minds later on. Box ticked.
I need to start looking at my ante-natal notes from the last pregnancy, just to familiarise myself with the options, procedures, etc. I'll feel more prepared once I've done that.

Zack is thriving – seems taller each day and more articulate. He's still pushing every boundary, so there's extra effort going into discipline at the moment. On the upside though, he is incredibly observant and will often see things long before we notice them. He wants to sing songs over and over again so that he can learn the words – initially frustrating for me, but now I'm cottoning on. Yesterday he climbed the stairs and counted to 14 by himself ! He is a genius.

little squishy

We've had a week of glorious weather, and Zack's ball-skills continue to improve. He just loves going outside to kick the ball, as it's too easy to do alot of damage in the lounge/kitchen. We continue to hunt for a house with a garden - we spent Saturday down in Dulwich (south of us and east of Wimbledon). A desirable suburb with lots of good schools and heaps of green space. There were some lovely homes, but we didn't see "the one" I'm afraid.
We watched Finding Nemo with Zack late last week, and over the weekend he said something out of the blue : "my little squishy", which I laughed and laughed at. He tells me that all big fish are sharks – even poor old Jonah is getting eaten by a shark in his story book – understanding the differences will come with time.
Overall his behavior's been a bit out of sorts lately – he gets miserable and wingy and won't come out of it. I thought he might be coming down with chicken pox (doing the 'rounds), but nothing there. Maybe he's teething. He's probably aware that something's afoot with the baby coming – I'm not sure.

Pregnancy update (29 weeks now)
I'm an emotional wreck these days – I want to burst into tears over small things, and just the way someone speaks to me can make me start to snivel. I'm well and truly pregnant !
The lead weight of the enlarging belly is ever before me. Funnily enough, running around kicking a ball with Zack I find quite liberating, but walking somewhere in a hurry, and climbing stairs takes it out of me. I'm more and more tired, so sleep as much as I can, whenever the opportunity arises. Heartburn and reflux are close companions these days – sometimes I wish I could take Gaviscon intravenously ! Went for blood tests (too many) last week and check-up with GP – all is well. This is one busy baby... he kicks and hiccups his way through days and nights. The shape of my tummy is also different from Zack, which puts pay to any speculation on gender-related bump-shapes. It's a boy, whatever shape it is. Do we have a name yet ? (The most frequently asked question). No. Have started thinking about it, but nothing yet.

dobrodošli

Margitte, Franco & Zack share a seat for just a moment

Zack dashing down the street on a hot afternoon.

Zack had plenty of opportunity to hone his
stone-throwing skills - 99% beaches are pebbles.

We've had a great break in Korcula, Croatia with good friends from Pretoria - 2 weeks of good weather, outdoor space and a short walk into nature. My mum left to go back to SA today, so we've also been blessed with 3 weeks with a grandparent, and all the extra help and TLC that that entails. We're all feeling quite refreshed and happy. I hope it lasts.

Pregnancy :
It's going well. I'm just tired and feeling very tight-skinned.

busy ?

Sometimes life gets a bit hectic. Take this list for example: here are quite a few of my good friends and acquaintances having babies within 6 weeks of one another. You wanna meditate on co-incidence... well, here it is :

Cindy DeOude - due 25 Aug
Geraldine Wallbank - due 31 Aug
Jenny Bray - due late aug, 1st week Sept
Naz Farouqui - around then...
Ruth Guthrie - due 18 Sept
Kate Dennill - due 30 sept, C-section prob 22 Sept
Maria McVey - due 23 Sept
Yolande Kruger - due 23 Sept
Alison Volpi - due 2 Oct

Clause: We do not live in the same country, in fact, the Americas are the only continent not represented on this list. So it's not down to Christmas power failures, or the like.

Yeah! Co-incidence.

War of Wills

We have just returned from a 2.5 hour round-trip walk - I pushed the pram and Zack scooted. We got home to complete "meltdown" (toddler tantrum - screaming, crying, lying on the floor and shouting "NO!! NO!! NO!!") and I can go off my head with frustration. I am really in no state to be walking miles and miles, but someone has to take Zack out to burn off the excess energy. My left hip joint is killing me and no amount of hip/glute stretches and knee-rolls are going to fix this - believe me ! I've tried.
If anything convinces me that children, (nevermind all of mankind) are sinful, fallen creatures, it's days like today. We travel all that way - basically the entire trip is for Zack's benefit. We are doing all the things he likes doing. We stop at a coffee-shop for a frozen juice and a muffin to share. Then he scoots all around the Jubilee Mall which is a treat as the floors are marble, smooth and wide. He gets to press all the lift buttons, the pedestrian buttons, AND the disabled door buttons - mummy is VERY patient today and indulges Zack's button-pressing needs at every opportunity. He munches on an apple I brought with me and eats some of the sandwich too. He is neither hungry, nor thirsty. I changed his nappy after the coffee shop. (many boxes ticked, that might otherwise lead to bad behaviour). But, the end result is not a child that's had a good time, rather it ends in tears and tantrums.

• He does not stop, when I call to him to "stop". He blithely scoots off out of sight - 80% of the time.
• He does not come back, when I call him to. He'll come back if he sees that he's taken a wrong turn and we're going in a different direction to him, but that's the only instance of returning to base.

When we got home, I said he could scoot up two speed bumps in the neighbour's car park. He disappeared out of the other side of their building (60m away), and came around the block. He is two years old. Yes, we live in a cul-de-sac, but that is absolutely no reason for his disobedience. I can stand there and call and shout to him to come back, but he won't. I thought perhaps I should just take the scooter away - there have to be consequences to my pleas for him to be obedient/listen. I remember Keith reading the Baby Wise book which said we shouldn't expect our children to do things beyond their capability. I think this is a case in point. He doesn't understand that he can die, be maimed or seriously injured if he goes off on his own. YOU CANNOT REASON WITH A TWO YEAR OLD !

What does Supernanny have to say ?

• Toddlers act on impulse.
• Toddlers do not set out to wind you up - haven't yet developed this ability.
• They do not have a sense of time, so don't understand the concept of "waiting".

I need to work harder on 2 techniques :

• Reinforce good behaviour with attention & praise.
• Not make empty threats: take the scooter away if he doesn't listen (because I can't run and catch him). Have a "time out" in his bedroom, when he starts giving me lip (shouting "No") or being aggressive.

my own comments:
Boy oh boy, I can see why some parents just opt out - they let their kids run riot instead of stepping in and doing something. It is exhausting being consistent with discipline, although I know it will lead to happier, more contented and self-assured children. I wish there was a restore button I could press when I'm starting to lose it. I would be happier with myself and I think Zack would respond better.

I am hot, I am not

I've suddenly started feeling decidedly warm. Having carried Zack through the opposite seasons, I keep expecting to be warm, and finding I'm not. Well, it seems like that's all about to change - I felt like a glow-worm last night in church (yes, there were alot of people in the building too, so that might have had something to do with it).

Pregnancy Wear(y)
We have a wedding to attend in 2 week's time, so I'm naturally concerned about what I'm going to wear. I'm going to have a little rant here about the rubbish clothes that designers (read, High Street designers, not couture) think pregnant women should be wearing. There is really SO little that is flattering, it's depressing! Very few preggie mums are willing to blow the budget on an outfit... there's just no point, unless it's an extremely significant event. I've been looking at what stars seem to think is attractive, and there really is a broad sample out there - ranging from hideous, to "do-able", to Wow. True, many of the High Street stores have suddenly started stocking maternity wear - this wasn't the case 2 years ago. I thought Zara's range was quite nice, when I popped in on Saturday, but they're still designing their trousers for Wednesday legs (sigh). And, variety doesn't always mean you'll be able to find something. Even M&S have some nice stuff, but the melted plastic on the reverse of the neckline was far from comfortable.
When I was in Australia and 4 months pregnant with Zack, I found hoards of lovely maternity clothes. Why am I failing here, in the Land of Fashion ? I don't think it's just me – not even celebs know what they're doing with their bumps half the time. Check out some of these pics and tell me what you think....





I conclude that it is not easy to look good while you're pregnant. If you have pots of money you can probably afford to have your hair done nicely, and let your stylist and make-up artist fix what they can, but the basic shape is pretty hard to work with. Let's face it !

supermumeroni

Today I had to run for a train. I had to carry : the baby bag (medium heavy), Zack's scooter, the pram, and Zack (17kgs). We had to climb across a foot bridge at speed and run to make the train to London. I could not afford to miss it - the next one would have been 1/2 an hour later. I did it ! Even I'm impressed. I am a super mummy. I did not die.

we know the words

One of the (expected) developmental stages is that children start talking to themselves while they play. In the beginning it's only gibberish, but soon you start to recognise words, and then phrases. We're now at a point where we know the phonetics of the songs, and here's a little taste of a favourite....

Outwards & Upwards

Yesterday was a glorious day - sunny and bright AND a public holiday. We spent most of it on Blackheath kicking the ball around and flying a kite. Wonderful memories made and caught a bit of sun.

(stoopid photo won't rotate!) Zack and Keith tackle keeping the kite airborne

preggie mum holds the kite's spindle –
we let it fly high enough to use up all the string – how exhilarating.

The past week was marked by our trip, last Monday (28th April), to Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital for our fetal cardiology scan. Baby #2 came through with flying colours – all low risk. God is good ! They have great equipment there so we're pleased we went. The consultant was also happy to check the gender of the baby, and we are going to have another boy. Hooray! I get to use all the clothes again - have been faithfully washing, folding and packing things away these last 2 years, so that's great. I wonder how Grandpa Guthrie will feel to hear he has another "name bearer" on the way ?
My pelvic girdle pain is ongoing. Some days I have NO pain, and others (like the Monday we went to Great Ormond Str) I could have wept I was in so much pain. Sadly it's not like a back injury - so I don't know if it's coming or not. I'm very naughty about doing my physio exercises... I just don't believe that they're helping if they hurt so much to do. I don't have a gym mat, so I have to do them on the floor which is very uncomfortable.

Expanding our Options:
We've been looking at properties on a more serious basis, for the past few months, hoping to find a four bedroom house with a garden. There's still no clear decision although it's made us look more seriously at schools in our area, and neighbouring suburbs. Being "from the colonies" makes it quite hard, as you have no innate knowledge of the terrain, but have to go with other's opinions and what you read. We are certainly not of the opinion that "old is best" ie, Eton, Harrow, etc; nor that "local is lekker" – you should see some of the scary institutions around! I can only hope we'll make the right decision ultimately.

It was a white day

The other day, while climbing down the stairs to the front door, Zack invited me to examine the walls, the banister and the ceiling, with the revelation "Mommy - walls white", and then "roof white" etcetera etcetera. This is quite a big step in my books; up until now he's happily pointed out blue, green and red, but seldom yellow, and never white or black. These days we're getting "blue dustbin", "red car" and more. Nothing like a bit of colour identification to broaden the repertoire. In addition, he's starting to say funny, commonly used phrases like, "see you later", before toddling off to the lounge.

He is crazy about his scooter: it goes to bed with him. Since visiting friends in Surbiton last weekend, he has gained so much confidence as he scooted for more than a mile and a half, unassisted. His stability is vastly improved, though he still favours one foot for pushing. He is slowly learning how to turn the thing - a much more complicated manouvre, and a few weeks away I would guess. He tends to stop, pick it up, and put it down in the direction he wants to travel in. Negotiating fellow pedestrians is more like hit-and-run.

For his birthday, Zack was given a fabulous puzzle of pictures from A to Z. It has been such a hit - the right thing at the right time. He loves it and builds it at least twice a day. He's learnt to identify certain pairings which brings him closer to completing the whole task. Knowing colours also seems to have helped, because he'll say to me "pink one" or "blue one" for pieces he's looking for. It's been an opportunity for him to learn what things look like eg. yo-yo and guitar.

Being a boy, Zack is constantly hurtling around at breakneck speed. I didn't realise little boys were quite so rough & tumble. We went to the playground last week and Zack was drawn to the merry-go-round, (always a death trap - I don't know a single adult who hasn't had a bad experience on one !). Three older children were going around on it, and Zack kept shouting "stop" and then getting on, but then trying to get off before it stopped again. Necessarily it meant he got dragged around, or fell off. Thankfully, these days, playgrounds have "all weather" surfacing which is cushioned, unlike the gravel, concrete or sand that we all grew up with - so no bleeding. It isn't a deterent however - he kept going back for more pain, even though we'd had more than three screaming-crying moments. After a while you get "moedeloos" and give in to the stubborn will of those who will not listen. So that meant more falling down. In the end I dragged him off, and he proceeded to have a major tantrum. He climbed up some seating, and then fell backwards through a gap in it. I nearly had a heart-attack. But he was fine, just crying (more). I tell you, kids can give you grey hair just watching their antics. We went home after that - I'd had enough, even if Zack hadn't.

still to write
Sleeping - how to get him to sleep in his own bed / freedom of mobility / stalling techniques

Pregnant Progress:
I'm feeling fine most of the time, but struggling with heartburn and a condition very common amongst preggie mums - Pelvic Girdle Pain. Not much I can do about it really, altho' I have been for physio. It's funny, but I had tried all the things she's got me doing now - knee rolling, knee hugging, and it only seemed to make it worse. Ontop of that, I've been given a maternity belt (a really wide piece of heavy duty clothing elastic, with velcro fasteners which you're supposed to tighten around your pelvic girdle), which will theoretically offer my pelvis more support, and minimize twisting and the other nasties, that make it ache so much. I'm supposed to wear it when walking.

Down's Syndrome screening

Got a letter from the hospital this week, to say that our Down's syndrome screening test results are in. Obviously they can't tell whether the baby has Down's but can give you a risk indication. Because I'm over 35 years old, the NHS offer a Nuchal Translucency scan as standard at 13-14 weeks. My results have come back as "low". There's a lot to think about there... I'm not the worrying kind, so I've tried not to think too much about what we would do if we found out there was something wrong with the baby. The language is also very emotive - "wrong" can be a horrible word when you have a Down's child - nor is "disabled" very helpful. "Challenged" has become more of a joke, than a describer. I wonder about 'dis'abled and 'un'able? When they say a child has a learning 'disability', it makes it sound like it can be overcome - and I suppose in some cases in can. But what about those children who don't overcome ? Are they labeled 'unable'. All a bit un-politically correct, and bad psychology to say "can't" I suppose.

I'm still feeling pretty tired despite being at 15 weeks now. I keep wondering what's happened to that 'energy boost' I was supposed to get after the first trimester? Maybe parenting a toddler took it away. My back, or rather my coccyx is killing me - I keep getting nasty twinges when I'm sitting on the floor (you do that alot with a toddler), when I'm lying down (as often as I can), and when I'm walking. Funnily enough, walking in Wales with Zack in the backpack - all 17.6kgs of him - was really not painful at all. I would say that's a testimony to my Merrell's: definitely the most comfortable outdoor shoes I've ever owned; probably helped that my posture was more 'normal' because I was worrying about the backpack instead of the pain.
Zack is thriving and I made a note of his height on his 2nd birthday : 88cm tall.

musical memory

This is one of those "chuckle" moments.... We were driving to mum & tot's group today and Rihanna's "Umbrella" was playing on the radio. After lunch I caught Zack singing, ' ella, ella, eh eh eh'. How fabulous is that ?

Two years old

He got a micro scooter for his birthday. They are already very attached, so getting dressed was a saga.

Our son's 2nd birthday, and we have the standard parent response : "Can't believe that it's exactly two years since we were sitting, stunned in a hospital ward, staring at a tiny baby, sleeping soundly". The time has certainly been a fast train rushing by. Mum tells me the time goes even faster when they're teens, which I can believe because I feel like we live each and every day with Zack - at his pace - sharing his discoveries, developments, experiences. When he's a teen we'll be sharing so little of his day-to-day life.

Zack says "Happy Birthday ebbybody", because he doesn't like it when we sing only to him. So Happy Birthday everyone celebrating with us !

Second Scan of baby #2

For the uninitiated this is just another of those wierd ultrasound pics with blobs of white and black and who-knows-what-they're-looking-at ? For the rest, it's a moment of excitement and joy at seeing that our little bub is doing oh-so-well. Compared to the last scan, baby now fills all the uterine space (how fast they grow!) I'm feeling less sick in the evenings, and I'm getting over my aversion to coffee shops (tho' still not drinking the stuff), and the tummy is visible to all. We finally seem to be "in" the system, following a few false starts with our local midwives. We're grateful that we'll be in line to deliver at the new Barkantine Birthing Centre, which is not far from our flat.
There won't be more scans for some time - next one due only at 20 weeks, ie. May - so we'll have to make do with watching the tummy grow, sore back, painful hips, smaller meals, heartburn, ah yes... now I remember.

It's another year for babies: so far we've welcomed little Jamie Hundermark in Johannesburg, Jaykob in New Zealand, Abigail in Romford, Julia in Dublin, Holly in Jo'burg and now baby Samantha in Reading. Busy time eh ? Congrats everyone.

Samantha born to Karen & Andrew on 8 March

Ruby's 2nd birthday

Pudding & cake time ! the kids tuck in.

Zack tentatively holds one of the guinea pigs

Caitlin tickled pink with the purring guinea pig

Caitlin & Anokye, Trish & Amy

Who dat ?

I feel like my emotions have run the full gamut of late, from delight and joy at the things Zack says and does, to pure desperation when he is 'contrarian' and will not do anything you ask him to. This coupled with the announcement that we are expecting our second child in September, means that I really am not the most rational being in E14 (our postal code) right now.
I was very grateful when chatting to an acquaintance 2 weeks ago, that her son was also a head-banger, and now a biter. She was very sympathetic about it and also very relaxed, which gave me hope for the future. I know it's 'just a phase', but that's no comfort when you're right in it, so talking to someone who's been through it makes me feel a little better.
Zack's latest thing is to say "who dat?" when he hears a noise outside / in another room. It is just too cute. He'll often suggest some answers too, but they're pretty repetitive, "Daddy?" or "Kelly?" or "Nana?". Another thing that happens all the time is him saying "Amy's house" and now "Harriett's house", when we're in the car - like he's telling me where we're going. The truth is that Amy lives in Australia - which I've explained numerous times (with map), and we visit Harriett on Thursdays. It's amazing actually that he already associates directions in the car with a destination.
Another association that he's got sorted out, is that waiters or waitresses bring apple juice. So when we're in a restaurant with friends, Zack will catch the eye of the passing server and say "Apple juice" in an expectant kind of way. At this point, I'll get the enquiring look from aforementioned staff member. Then Keith and I will laugh. Remarkable little people.

Night terrors

Zack wearing Kelly's UGG boots

I'm writing tonight because of the absence of something, rather than the presence of it. Zack has had episodes in the past where he's woken sometimes once, sometimes three times a night, crying uncontrollably and will not be comforted. Books call it "night terrors" but I'm not 100% convinced. Zack wakes up (or seems to be awake), but is really freaking out completely. You try and pick him up and he thrashes and twists so that you cannot hold him. Any attempts to sooth him verbally or touch him / stroke his hair, encourages more violent protestation. It's really very distressing as a parent. On the positive side however, he goes back to sleep quite quickly without more intervention, or the need for milk / a blanket.
And to conclude, it's the absence of these episodes that I'm celebrating. We haven't really had any in quite some time (remember mummies measure everything days and hours), so I'm very, very relieved. It also equates with a better night's sleep all 'round, so I'm grateful for that too.
Now all I have to get right is limiting the liquids in the evenings so we aren't waking up soaking wet. Ah potty training – I see thee but I know thee not.

First Scan of baby #2

so much

You can well imagine how I'm feeling with more than 8 weeks of development to catch up on here on the blog. Zack has grown and matured so much - he is STILL biting (worse than before but more rarely), but knows how to be completely charming, flash that smile, work the room. He can be very affectionate when he wants to be, yet he also knows how to wield his will. He wishes everything could be his way, but ain't that the way of toddlers ? It seems like time is rushing away, as he gets more confident on playground equipment, speaks more, understands more (uh-oh), and sleeps better at night (thank the Good Lord)! He is not a baby any more and having weaned him of his dummy while in NZ, we feel like most of the hard stuff is done. Potty training is still a hope and a dream - altho' he's quite curious he has no interest in sitting on the toilet or a potty, or anything. He can name it, and sometimes tell me when it's happening but that's as far as we've gone. The general consensus is that they get there in their own time, so I'm not pushing. What's worse : a 4-year-old in nappies, or a 4-year-old with a dummy ? Attending nursery is going to cure Zack of the former because in the UK children have to be potty-trained to attend school. We've ticked off the latter, so I suppose we're on the road, one way or the other. I do pity parents with school children, with dummy in mouth, being pushed in a pram, but there you go. We all make choices.

I thought it was going to much harder than it was.

Ah, the joy of antipodean summers – the inflatable pool / castle
includes hours of fun at no charge, weather virtually guaranteed.

Visit an associated site

Hi regular blog readers. If you're looking for news on what Zack's been up to then please visit the blog I'm keeping while we travel around New Zealand...

http://nzr0adtrip.blogspot.com/

See you there for the travelling toddler news.

vocabulary explosion

Zack is entering the field of speech with gusto. The vocabulary to date is :
Mikkis = christmas, man, morning, two = his favourite number, two dummies, gone (open hands), bikkit = biscuit, neigh = horse, moo = cow, baa = sheep, goggo, boat, mahkoo = monkey, milk, apple, 'na = banana, chicken = meat or fish, zack, yes, ta-too = thank you, please, go, jump, ladder, whee = slide in playground or any slope to run down, bird, duck, cat, duggy = digger, dogggie = dog, bag, open, close, ut = up, down, door, teeth, eyes, nose, mouth, ears, toes, knees, tongue, tars = stars, ball, truck, shoe-shoes, car, ow & sore, sock, wet, dirty, bee, glasses, belly-button, hullo, bye bye, mummy, daddy, no-daddy, amy, baby, bok' = brocolli, cheese, banket = blanket, potty, poo, wee-wee, bite, stop, choo-choo = train, taxi, row = as in row row row your boat, pull, push, book, cooking, by'ikle = bicycle, tower, tunnel, key, rain, puddle, mountain, beep beep - reversing or excuse me. He tends to lisp his "s's" which I'm sure will pass in time, so we're doing well.

sugarlump

my son is a genius - he can jump !!!
I'm not sure what this means, but I am well impressed that he can do the two-feet-off-the-ground thing. My book says that 25 - 30 months is the time for jumping, so.....
Zack is 4 months ahead on the jumping scale.

Hope all my competitive mum friends are reading this and feeling Whoah! intimidated.

You see I can say that because Zack walked at 16 months, has just started putting sentences together, etc. etc. I must celebrated the small victories - this is a competition don't you know ?!

Damn You Peppa Pig !

For my sins, I bought a copy of Peppa Pig's DVD. We now watch Peppa every other day. I get disappointed when I put on CBeebies and they're showing an episode we have on DVD, eg. Piggie in the Middle. Lord! You gotta know things are going spanner when you're lipsynching Peppa Pig while making breakfast.

So you're wondering why I'm cursing her name... well, L-A-U-N-D-R-Y is why! Zack is a mimic. Which means, that he also "loves" jumping in muddy puddles. So, Wednesday morning, we're on our way to the mum & tots group and there are puddles everywhere. EVERYwhere! Zack's little trousers are too long, so I roll them up. Which means that there are lovely (read v absorbent) cotton linings on the outside, sucking up every little splash and sploosh. All the puddles are mixed with petrol, car oil, grime, yuck, eek and blah ! How on earth am I going to get all that gunk out of his trousers when we get home ? Where do I put his little soggy legs when he's in the car ?

Damn you Peppa !

Blimey

The words are just tumbling out, but they're matched with the emerging will. Zack is stubborn and knows exactly what he wants - how he inherited those traits from us, I do not know? Latest "strop techniques" are slapping, pinching, and the newest of the new - hitting his head against whatever's nearby. It's fine when it's your chest, but not funny when it's your throat, neck or face. He has started biting his own hand again, when he can't get his way in public.
I am incredibly torn about the whole dummy issue at present. I take a firm line during the day, and don't let him have it unless he's sleeping. But the truth is that he sleeps at nursery without it, Mondays and Tuesdays. I do give in when he's going off the deep-end and we need to be somewhere (public) for an extended period of time - if I don't, any kind of social interaction becomes untenable, and I feel "ruled" by a beligerent 20 month old. The truth is that it REALLY calms him down, and will change the situation completely, if he has it. I can see that the Demise of the Dum must come. Perhaps sooner rather than later eh ?

Today we said "mango" for the first time, and we've been spending alot of time on "look" too. I have said "do this, NOW" alot this week, so that's been incorporated too. Altho' saying the word does not equate with obedience, or a sense of urgency.

I have bought a book on development so that I can keep pace with things for the next few years. It's entitled "Bright Start", and is broad in it's scope. After reading the first few chapters on Zack's age group, I was very encouraged by their stand on 'sticking to your guns' (ie. boundaries), being the best gift you can give your child. Zack doesn't like "No" one little bit. A friend of mine is currently working in a social services position where they remove children at risk, from their families, and she said that most of the teenagers she deals with who have huge problems have been allowed to rule their families from day 1 - no boundaries only leads to disaster.

Are you afraid to parent ?
It has occurred to me tho' that living here in the UK, creates its own kinds of phobias. You are always told by "authority figures" (sometimes an author, sometimes a govt child-care worker, sometimes a TV guru, sometimes by another mum, very often tho' it's source-less) that you aren't equipped for this job : You don't really know how to feed your child, discipline your child, raise your child, x your child, y your child. As a result, most parents, who are already feeling decidedly skittish sans-sleep, are driven to the mires of insecurity. "Yes, you're right," they cry, "I am rubbish at all this. Please won't you sell me the means to do it." [Ka-ching!]
Talking to a mate who has 2 kids and is raising them on the continent, it was mentioned that it is not out of the ordinary for a parent to leave their child sleeping at home in the evening, and quickly nip out for 20 minutes to the newsagent, or a pub. Yes, and that means exactly what you're all thinking : the child is at home ALONE. Now, in the UK, you would be imprisoned for that. Funny how social conventions change, and nowadays are underpinned by this culture of fear:

• There are paedophiles everywhere – I can't turn away from my child in a park
• Someone might break in and take him/ her – I can't leave my child asleep in the car, in my garage
  
• I can't nip down to the station and pick up my husband (because it's late and freezing) - there might be a fire at home, and there'd be no-one to rescue our child

Yes, these are all very plausible threats, but exactly HOW real are they ? What are the stats ? How many paedophiles live in my street ? How many kids get stolen out of locked cars, in closed garages, in middle-class neighbourhoods, every day ?

Keith: In each of these scenarios, the consequences for our lives (ie. the loss of a child) is SO great, that any discussion of the realistic probabilities is overshadowed by emotive debate. We regularly put our children into situations (eg. letting them play on a swing) where the probability of the loss of their life is far higher than the above scenarios, but because these are the ones that make news headlines, we react irrationally (with fear) to them.

Toilet Training begins:
We recently bought a toilet seat and step. Zack is like clockwork in the evenings, and will make a poo straight after dinner. We are yet to catch him in time to deposit it in the loo, but he is learning that it goes into the toilet and then flushes it away with a 'bye, bye' to boot! I am encouraged by his awareness. We may get him started in the next little while - won't that be wonderful ?

goggaland

Bugs are referred to as "gogga's" in South Africa, and Zack has taken to the word "goggo" with glee. In fact, so much so, that he calls everything that vaguely resembles a bug, a goggo. I think it's a zulu word. Anyway, it means that our world is teaming with the little critters. The funniest incident in recent weeks was Zack approaching me with something in his mouth. He was holding 'it' behind his bottom teeth, with his tongue. On closer investigation I realised it was the trilobite I'd seen crawling across the TV unit earlier on. EEK !


Zack was given this beautiful toy monkey yesterday by one of Keith's work colleagues - it looks like Curious George. Zack immediately became attached to his new friend, feeding it breakfast and allowing him to 'suck' his dummy. (- Not sure why I think it's a 'he')
Sometimes I feel that I'm lagging behind as a parent - that my child is ready for greater heights, greater challenges and I'm still catching up with an already-passed developmental stage. What to do ? I don't really have the time to be playing child-development-specialist on top of all my other duties. Perhaps a book would help me anticipate a bit more. Hmm...

Aside:
Zack persists in his biting. It is almost always in frustration now, and hardly ever in excitement. Keith and I are still being firm, but he can get so strung out sometimes that he starts thrashing out and trying to hit you if you won't let him sink his teeth in. I find the only way to deal with it, is to walk away. I won't tolerate biting. And I won't tolerate the hitting either. Zack has to find ways of dealing with his frustration. I find if I try and console him, by approaching him and saying, "X is really frustrating, isn't it ?", this only illicits physical assault. Not quite the outcome I'd hoped for.

Speech development is coming along but it's occurred to me that the dummy-sucking during the day is stunting his speaking. Keith and I agreed a while back that we should only have the dummy/pacifier at night, but when he was so sick last week, we were giving in as he needed to be comforted. Tough call.

My mate Yolande said she never wanted to be a No-Mommy, but I see Keith and I at this stage in Zack's life and we're constantly saying "No! Zack!". I guess it's the phase we're in - approaching the two's and all the willfulness that goes with it. You have to set boundaries all the time, but it can be relentless.

vocal explosion

Zack is just talking, talking, talking. It's as if he's suddenly getting his mouth around all the things that he's been listening to for months. We've been making notes of the news words for a while, but in the last few days it's just exploded. Isn't language an amazing thing ? I was watching my friend Elly's little boy a few months agao and was astonished at how he mimicked her every word, and now Zack is doing it. Of course there's heaps of babbling going on, but for the rest it's great fun.

Favourite word is still 'car'. But that's how it goes with boys !

The Aside:
Coming back to London was a shock to the system. We had a few rough nights and Zack is becoming more and more head-strong. He bit me hard on Wednesday morning at our mum's group, because I wouldn't let him have a 4th biscuit. Lots of screaming and stamping of feet, and then when I confronted him and said "no", he bit me. I smacked him in front of all the mummies. Yesterday we were in Hyde Park, in a playground, and 2 mums came to blows because one's child was being picked on by another (with absent mum). Heaven help you if you raise your voice, let alone your hand to some kid who is pounding yours. What a crazy world we live in! Jackie was saying how strange it is that we are so involved in our children's lives (stimulating them, educating them, entertaining them), compared to our mums who chased us outside to play, and our grandparents who were even less involved (by all accounts - see ITV's new parenting series, Bringing Up Baby). There has definitely been a trend in the last 100 years towards tighter bonds with one's children. The down-side is tho', that we don't trust anyone with or near our kids. There are paedo's everywhere, we're told. Stranger Danger! etc. etc. It puts so much more strain on mums who are already collapsing under the load of domestic duties, and dad's under the strain of providing, supporting. Yadda Yadda. And there isn't always someone to listen to your ranting and moaning. Parenting is not an easy road. It's bloody hard work.

what a crap day !

So Keith takes the day off work and we're planning to join our Aussie mates, Graham & Gayle, at Colchester Zoo. Everyone's raved about the place, and because I've driven up to Chelmsford before (and it was a crap journey), I know the train is the way-to-go. we check the times the night before and see that it'll be a mere 50 minutes from Stratford (our connection from the Jubilee line) to Colchester.
In summary it took us 3 and 3/4 hours to get there with the crap (read, 'staff attitude problems' and 'a lack of ticketing facilities') at Stratford station, too many changes to make, and eventually pulling into Colchester to discover that no-one there knew which bus to take to the Zoo. So we got a cab.
Things improved quite a lot from there: We spent a few hours with the mates (and their 3 children) and saw some great animals - tigers, lions, zebra, giraffes, rhino, crowned cranes, monkeys. Keith was delighted because we managed to stay until twilight and capture some lovely shots, including one of an aardvark.
We got a bus back into town, and then a connecting bus to the station where we'd (please God), get the train back to Stratford. Unfortunately the second bus was driven by minion of the dark lord, who felt that giving me lip while I was trying to pay for our tickets was the way forward. That's public service for you eh ?
What a bloody awful experience ! Why do we bother with public transport ? It cost us more than £40 for travel (PLUS entry to the zoo) and I feel like if we'd stayed at home, we'd have had a jolly nice time.
My advice : don't believe everything they promise you on websites. Most of the time it's just idle chatter. They've got nothing to lose telling you that the journey is easier than it turns out to be. Nothing.

do I sound angry ?

It can be done

I've just returned from 11 days in South Africa alone, where I was greeted with some scorn and quite a lot of incredulity. So many women asked, "How can you leave your baby in London, and with Keith?", and "How will he cope?". Blokes said to me, "I could never look after our little X. It would be impossible." Uh huh, raaaaiiiitttt.
All I can say is Keith did a great job despite his claims that he'd left a trail of destruction in his wake, and had lost things at every outing, and that the house was a tip. All the major appliances are still here and functioning. Zack is fit and well. I could see the floor in the lounge on my return. There don't appear to be any new stains on the carpet. The bottles, spoons and forks were washed up and there was even a bunch of pretty roses in a vase for the wife. It goes to show, don't it ?
I think it's evidence that I've moved on from the South African psyche: "you're the chick, it's your problem not mine (the kid that is)." And so has Keith. He is a completely able father, who has managed to feed, cloth, transport, love and discipline our son while I've been away. And has also had an immense amount of fun and frustration doing so. These are all good things.
Zack isn't a baby anymore, and is far from helpless. He understands instructions, he can tell when we're proud of him and when we want to play. He also know when he's being naughty and if he's going to get into trouble for what he's doing. I missed him terribly, but I needed to go and attend family celebrations. It all worked out very well.

Och Aye Wee Laddie

Brushing teeth with the first brush we could get our hands on.

Our home in the Highlands for a few days in September - Gairloch

Zack and I catching up on some sleep after lunch.

Wonderful time with Pia & Geoff

We've just spent ten wet days in the Scottish Highlands. Zack made friends with man and wee beasties alike, and seems to have mastered a few new words. To the current vocabularly we can add,'Juice, Duck, Ladder, Down, Pughhghgghghg (the sound of a car crashing), Car, Bus'. It's amazing actually, how much he understands these days. His favourite of all time tho' is 'Car' - said with such conviction that it's hard not to respond. Bless his little socks.
New frustration mechanism is biting his own hand - usually the right one. So he has lots of marks on the top of his hand. Oh dear me.

He has so enjoyed the time with my mum - I discovered them in bed this morning reading Richard Scarry classics, with loads of pointing and "Car" exclamations.

This evening, sadly, is 'farewell Nanna'. It's all gone by so quickly.


Zack tells us all about Scotland from his guidebook

dream

I don't set alot of store by what I dream at night, but last night I had an odd one: I was sitting on a very blue & green mohair type rug with a friend of mine from PE, Fiona. We were having a long chat about life and kids, and then I noticed that someone had spilled, what looked like Calpol, on the rug. I rushed off and fetched a sponge and some soap and tried to get it out. It was really difficult (Mohair is so fibrous), and by the end of the dream I remember not being completely satisfied with the results.

meaning ?

Time, it's slipping, slipping

It's Monday night of the August Bank Holiday, which means that we don't have another break until Christmas. It usually feels like it's all downhill from here - rushing into autumn, then Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Whoosh! We've been blessed with some pretty impressive weather this weekend, after a week that amounted to nothing more than soggy drizzle and cold air. Yuck. So much for August being our month of summer redemption. It didn't happen, but perhaps this is a late fizz. I'm not complaining.

Keith's been away for 3 weeks out of the last 4 and it's been incredibly hard. I think that so often people pretend that they're coping so well with being a mum, and that their little darling is no effort at all. What a lie! On Thursday morning, I got up, changed Zack's nappy and then sobbed my heart out because it was so hard doing it alone. How do single mums cope?

We took him for his 2nd haircut on Saturday and I was sad to see him come home - my little toddler had gone, and come back a boy. I can now see how his head is growing and changing. I miss the lovely locks so won't be cutting it this short in a hurry.


He's demonstrating the early stages of an imagination which is charming... he walks his duck along the edge of the bath while having a long conversation with it, and we had to wrap the toy lamb up in a blanket on Wednesday. He understands so much of what we say and will now take instructions, eg. 'fetch x', 'put y', etc. But of course cannot understand when I say 'no touching' or 'leave y alone'. Heh heh, cute and smart to boot.

He is ever the talkative tot, and seems to enunciate his "bye bye"s more clearly each day. Bye-bye is being used on everyone and in every situation at the moment. Thankfully people are pretty accommodating and reciprocate with a wave and a 'bye bye' in return. We met up with Anokye and Ellie on Friday, and Anokye is moving ahead in leaps and bounds - he mimics everything Ellie says - which I think is amazing for a 16 and a half month old.


We went to Hyde Park to enjoy the sunshine and Zack loved all the people and the Diana Memorial fountain. It's a great spot with lots of fenced in space, the only negative is the stupid security guards walking around telling people not to stand on the fountain (which you have to do, so that you can put your feet in it - that's legal. Doh!), and not to walk in the water. Aargh! Only in England ! But, there's nothing like running water to entertain little people, so I'm sure we'll go again.

Zack is teething again, so it's back to nasty nappies, sore ears, Calpol and a temperature. I hope this tooth cuts quickly.
My mum arrives in a week's time, and I'm so chuffed that Zack is at a delightful stage in anticipation of her arrival. May it all go smoothly.

p.s. No news on the TV repair. I'll have to call again tomorrow.

Pee + electronics = the end

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Zack was running around the lounge without a nappy on before dinner because he has nasty nappy rash, and while I was in the bathroom sorting out laundry, our little fireman decided that he would take a leak on the hi-fi equipment. Usually if he takes a leak on the floor, there's the tell-tale puddle, but when I came into the lounge all I could smell was burning plastic. Sadly, the box with the most holes got it - the TV receiver. I unplugged all three boxes (TV, satellite and DVD player) and aired them, even turned the TV box upside down and left it for hours then used the hairdryer. But no luck - it is dead. So no TV for me this week while Keith's away. I'm going to be a real internet junkie & book reader.

And for your viewing pleasure... Zack and his new xylophone

the uncle is in the building

We picked Andy up from the airport this morning just after 8am, and then drove through to Esher to a wonderful spot for PYO - it's called Garson's Farm and they have acres of fresh fruit, veg and flowers to pick. All you have to do is turn up - the containers are provided. We picked a punnet full of raspberries and Zack must've eaten a heap more, indiscriminately. Sadly the blackberries were all ruined on the vine (not sure what got them), so we left with only broad beans and the raspberries.



Zack has taken to Andy with gusto - there are squeals of laughter and lots of hugs and attention. I was asked at bath-time : "What is too much splashing?". Which, I think, says it all.
Only downside at the moment is all the blowing of raspberries - very slobbery and the spit flies everywhere. Again - a thousand repetitions of 'no spitting'. Ho hum.
This afternoon we loaded Zack onto my bike, into his seat with helmet tightly fastened. I cycled while Andy ran, and Zack managed to stay awake for about 55% of the event. On the way home his head was lolling and he'd collapsed so much that his little helmet was rubbing on my seat as I peddled. It drew "ah bless" responses from watching motorists.

Ah Bless !

ps. Keith has bought more of the same shoes in NYC - in a bigger size. Next task is to get the young man a haircut. He is sorely in need of one.